Name: The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Dan Soder - Episode 52
Uploaded: 2024-05-03T23:22:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Dan Soder - Episode 52' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Dan Soder - Episode 52' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-03. Transcript available.

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Dan Soder - Episode 52

*BOOM*
*BOOM*
Welcome to the Adam Friedland Show Podcast. We're joined by special guest,
comedy institution Dan Soder. Thanks for joining us.
Institutionalized.
Yeah, you're psycho.
Loco.
I'm loco in la cabeza.
Yeah, Dan's taking time out of watching Transporter 1 to be with us. I really
appreciate that.
Are you re-watching Transporter 1?
I was on TV and I was- I got into it.
You DVR?
What are you doing in the trunk?
He's like, "Chinese in the trunk."
What does he give her? Orange juice?
Yeah. Orangina.
Orangina, yeah.
Orangina.
You know, I'm like, I'm fat now. I'm turning into a fat woman.
Yeah.
Sassy? Fat and sassy?
Well, I've entered my sunset years and now I'm like, I just-
That's the blanket on the legs.
Nah, I get it. I'm just gaining weight and I'm eating nothing. I don't know.
Rule 46. Get as heavy as possible and break chairs.
Well, I was watching the Transporter, I don't know, like a year ago.
Yeah.
And that scene happened. I was watching with somebody. That scene happens and I
was like, "Oh shit, remember Orangina?"
Dude, I did the same thing. I did the same thing when we were losing it. It's
like soda, but it's orange juice.
Yeah, I'm like juice, but it's soda, yeah.
And when he cuts the thing and lets her drink it. By the way, he realizes it's
a person in his trunk, doesn't freak out.
Right.
And then has the mindset to get her an orange Gina, let her drink a little, and
then puts her back in the bag.
The movie's amazing because it's like the character has no, I don't think there's
any backstory.
She finds the picture of boxes, or the box of pictures.
Yeah, but it's like he's just...
And that's how they get the backstory.
That's a good way to show the backstory.
But she goes like, "Oh!" She's like, "Oh, wall metal."
But yeah, but he's like, he has no, like, there's no flaws, you know what I
mean?
Oh, he's perfect on everything.
He's the best driver, he's the best karate.
He has, when they rocket launch his French manor, and they go downstairs into
the dummy waiter, and he throws her in the water and she's just fucking yelling.
They could have at least shown him getting irritated.
They're like, "Oh, his Chinese always screams."
Even Neo, a character who can change anything in the world, he's still like, "What
do you mean a girl likes me?"
"Oh, girls, girls are tough."
"I thought she was a lesbian."
"I thought the rabbit meant she eats pussy."
Yeah, but Jason Statham, when he goes, when the transporter goes in the water,
and down there, there's just, there's two scuba sets, just ready to go, in the
water.
Which is like, how much foresight do you need?
Yeah, and doesn't he, he like, lives in a lighthouse?
He lives a lot.
His apartment is...
It's like a very nice...
Yeah, I'm at like a Navy point.
Yeah.
He's like, "I bought the property early."
The original script is him talking.
I live under the Ferris wheel on Navy point.
This is him bogging down the movie with real estate talk.
"So you like Chinese or something?"
"I don't do rule number 17, I don't fuck Indochina."
And then, is a transporter three, there's a bunch of them in a shipping
container?
I don't know, but I'll tell you what.
Yeah.
I'm gonna work my way there.
They're amazing, dude.
You gotta get there by the end of the night.
I'm into the franchise.
I gotta have...
I gotta create a...
I gotta figure out how to make enough money to have a private theater somewhere
in Manhattan.
Oh, dude.
For like midday.
Oh, dude, a screaming.
A matinee.
Yeah, I can call my friends, I'm like, "Hey, dude, we're watching fucking...
We're watching that damn cat."
Yeah.
We're watching Dunstan Checks In.
Yeah.
You know the live action Dennis the Menace?
I got it playing at 4.
Yeah, we got Monsters, Monsters Inc happening.
Yeah, Christopher Lloyd plays the homeless man that's definitely into molestation.
Yeah, I love that.
Yeah, I love that.
When he's cutting the apple with the knife.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's like, "You ever have an apple before?"
Yeah.
Dude, everyone wanted to fuck Dennis.
Yeah.
And no one talked about it.
That's why he was a menace.
Yeah.
Because he avoided pedophilia.
I remember being a teenager, I drew...
I was like, "Maybe I'll get into comics."
Sure.
I drew maybe two things out of her.
And one of them is like, it was Dennis the Menace digging up Mr. Wilson's yard.
And then Mr. Wilson's like, "I'll show him."
Yeah.
He goes down there and he's got a trench coat on.
And then he goes, "Hey Dennis, wanna see the internet?"
And then it's just, no, it's just a head from behind showing his penis.
Mr. Wilson!
Yeah, and he's like, Dennis is horrified looking at this 70 year old man's
penis.
But then he gets indoctrined and then he just starts becoming like Mr. Wilson's
sex toy.
Yeah.
Like apt pupil.
Yeah.
Exactly like that.
Dennis finds out Mr. Wilson used to be one of the guards.
Oh, dude.
He's SS?
Yeah.
You know?
His real name's like, it's like, "Wilchenschram."
"Teach me how to be gay."
Directed by Bryan Singer.
Yeah.
"Hey, old Nazi, teach me how to be gay."
He's like, in the old country, I was an SS soldier named Wilhelm Wilschenschram.
But that's the other aspect of Bryan Singer that's weird, like aside from the
boy rape.
I mean, that's a pretty weird one.
But he's got an obsession with Nazi stuff that's not like...
Like Lemmy?
Like, remember how Lemmy would collect from Motorhead?
Yeah, but Lemmy was a rock guy.
Bryan Singer's a rock guy.
Yeah, but why does that make it okay?
Well, like, yeah, that's metal.
Because it's like, it's evil.
It's like, he's like, "Yeah, it's bad.
Stop this bad.
It's smoking cigarettes."
"Oh, tell everyone, you know, the Jews got starved."
"You gotta smoke cigarettes and you think the gas chamber's cool."
"There's nothing more metal than just gas and a bunch of Jews."
You know what, just imagine the women that were fucking him, like, up until the
last day.
Yeah, not prime, not prime, Lemmy.
No, yeah, Lemmy at 71 years old with like, with prostate cancer in his brain.
And it's spread from his testicular cancer.
Him wheezing during foreplay 'cause he was smoking.
There's just bloody cum leaking out of his fucking, like, eye sockets.
The only thing that gets him off is he's like, "Suck the mole."
Yeah, right.
"Suck the mole."
He would do that.
You know he would do that, right?
To women?
Yeah, that was like, I've read interviews where he's like, "Women wanna suck on
them and stuff."
It's disgusting.
That's revolting.
But him at like 70 years old acting that way.
And then it's like there's 21 years olds.
There are 21 year olds that are like, "Well, I'm from Long Island, so I have to
fuck love."
I met him at the Rainbow Room.
He's a rock.
Well, my dad had a motorcycle.
That's exactly it.
My dad would lose his mind.
And he's like, "I'm gonna hold a Nazi knife to your throat while you suck me,
mole."
Where am I?
Where am I?
Are you my Susan?
He starts calling him a name from his past.
Are you my Susan?
Is that you, Dot?
Is that you?
Yo, I don't know, but you're fucking creeping me out, you old weirdo.
Reminds me of getting topped from the Mrs. During the Blitz.
I used to have a hot glass of tea as those krauts were raining down hell on me.
They want to know why I like Nazi stuff.
It's because I got topped during the Blitz.
Because the bomb was raining down.
As I popped in her mouth, the bombs went off.
I had to get under a slab of concrete because she was giving me top.
It's so funny.
Him getting sucked while the fucking, just 20 bombs falling on his block.
And he's like, "Oh fuck, let's see that queer Mick Jagger talk about that."
But I'll still say this.
I think Lemmy being into Nazi stuff, not as weird as Bryan Singer being into
Nazi stuff.
And Bryan Singer.
He's a Jewish guy too.
Bryan Singer's Jewish?
I'm pretty sure he's in Hollywood.
Bryan Singer's just projecting a bunch of gay stuff.
Well he's a pedophile also.
Gay predator stuff onto the Nazi stuff.
So he's like, the Nazi stuff, he's like, "Oh this is a part of..."
That's like his Nazi werewolf?
Yeah, it's kind of like...
He's like, "What if we made the Nazis?"
Gay artists often project gay stuff onto whatever they're consuming.
And then they're like, "Oh this must be gay also."
Yeah, like a...
It's like, you know what he also does it?
They do it with Nintendo.
People online, they're like, "Oh yeah, Princess Peaches.
She got her penis cut off."
And then they fight like, sometimes Nintendo will have to address it and be
like, "It's
for four year olds."
Yeah, yeah!
This was made by a sweet Japanese man.
He's a plumber.
The bad guy's a turtle.
That's it.
Guys?
That's it.
That's where it begins.
There's nothing else to learn.
That's where it begins.
There's no...
Anything else going on.
And they're like, "Nah, it's gay."
Nah dude, it's gay.
Yeah, Link's gay.
Yeah, you know Koopa wants to buttfuck Luigi, but Mario's gotta stop him.
Right, and even if...
Let's say that's all true.
Yeah.
It's like, how does that help anyone?
Well, counter-argument.
What if...
It's like, "Oh we need more representation of trans people in a world where
mushrooms
turn you, then make it so you can fight a turtle?"
What does that give you the confidence to go do it?
Is when he has the leaf, and he turns into the raccoon.
Well now, because I know Peach is trans, that gives me...
Now I feel comfortable going out in the world as a raccoon.
It gives you agency.
As wearing, yeah.
Exactly.
Now you can fly by whipping your tail around.
I don't know.
I've watched "Challengers" over the weekend.
What's that one?
The tennis movie.
And it's like...
The slut one?
And it's good.
I enjoyed it.
Isn't it just basically...
It's the Eiffel Tower movie.
Yeah.
It's a tennis movie, and I enjoyed it, but it's clearly somebody was just
watching tennis.
They probably don't know much about tennis, but they're watching it, and you
hear the grunts,
and they're like, "Okay, something's going on here.
Okay, these two, they have something going on.
They're fucking in the showers.
They're not...
Yeah, they're just projecting all this stuff onto somebody just grunting.
Yeah.
Okay, there's something they probably grew up together, and they jacked each
other off in boarding
school, and now it's a secret, and they're ashamed, and it's like, "Eric, can't
you just
watch the tennis?
You have to do this."
This is a great match.
It's sports.
It's sports.
Someone in his life goes, "Just enjoy the competition."
Yeah, right.
And he goes, "No, no, no, no.
Hear me out."
And there's a woman who taught them straight sex, but she's evil.
And it's like, can we just...
Is that what the whole premise is?
I mean, no.
It's basically like a hyper-sexualized love triangle with a theme of tennis,
and it seems
pretty straightforward.
That's all it's about.
So they just took an MMF threesome, and they were like, "Let's drop that into
tennis."
If you don't go in looking for anything other than that, it's great.
I was told at the box office that it was like a two and a half hour long movie.
It did not feel like it.
It flew by.
I was engaged the whole time.
Yeah?
Yeah, it's pretty good.
It's the same guy that did "Call Me By Your Name."
Okay.
Yeah.
Luca, whatever.
Which is just...
It's also that, like, "Call Me By Your Name," there's nothing else.
It's like...
"Call Me By Your Name" is like...
It's just about gay people, right?
No, it's not really.
It's like the episode of "The Simpsons" where Bart has the crush on the babysitter.
Yes.
That's what "Call Me By Your Name" is.
But it's just gay.
But it's gay.
Right, yeah.
Do you think that's how they pitched it?
Yeah.
I would've.
If I was...
You know the episode of "The Simpsons" where Bart likes the babysitter?
And they go, "Yeah."
And they're like, "What do you think about...
It's that, but it's gay."
They're like, "What do you think about Bryan Singer for this one?"
I'm at the studio.
I'm like, "I don't know.
I don't know if we need Nazi stuff."
That's what Singer was like.
Yeah.
Okay, so hear me out.
He's like, okay.
It's tennis at Dachau.
Yeah, right.
It's "Call m