Name: The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mike Recine - Episode 55
Uploaded: 2024-05-24T22:33:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mike Recine - Episode 55' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mike Recine - Episode 55' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-24. Transcript available.

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mike Recine - Episode 55

*Dramatic Music*
Hey everybody welcome to the Adam Friedland Show podcast. This is May 24th,
2024. It is Memorial Day. So thank you to the flags of our fathers and the
letters from Iwo Jima. Yeah. Both sides. You gotta respect both sides. For sure.
Yeah. Cause there's Memorial Day and Veterans Day. Everybody does it.
Every year. Right. But Memorial Day for the dead ones. The dead ones. And then
Veterans Day. For the pussies. Yeah. Yeah. For the John McCain's of the world.
The pussies who couldn't handle war. That's right. And got kidnapped by the
Japanese. Yeah. Imagine going to war and not dying. That's so embarrassing.
Yeah. Who is he a POW of? The Vietnamese. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be funny
to be in a POW camp in the Vietnam War. And you're like, what the hell?
What the hell are you guys again?
What was this?
I don't even know.
You can't be doing this to me.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Where are we?
What's that?
You'd be like, where are we?
Where are we?
What are we mad at?
Yeah.
Speaking of where are we, I will be in Spokane, Washington in two weeks.
The 7th and the 8th, you know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't, apparently.
I don't know my own dates.
I don't have a break for a while.
That's the only thing I'm going to plug.
Philadelphia was fun.
Thank you, Philadelphia.
Yeah.
My sister was going to go to that show, but she heard her back.
Oh, okay.
So she couldn't make it.
What happened?
I don't know.
Kyla told me that she heard her back, but she really wanted to see you.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
People were very nice.
I always liked Philadelphia.
They're very nice at that club.
They're nice people.
At Helium?
At Helium, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a good room.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And I got some dates.
I'll be in Charlotte on June 2nd.
I'll be in Irvine, California June 5th.
You're doing the Irvine improv?
Yeah.
Which, I don't know.
That's a big room.
It's a big room.
It's a big room for Microscene.
Well, it's a big room for fucking anybody.
I don't know.
Yeah.
They got me going back there.
I'm like, look, I sold those tickets one time.
Yeah, yeah.
You know?
Right.
I mean, I think you've kind of bled the stone of my, quote unquote, stand-up
career.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You just never know, though.
This is my last year in the entertainment industry.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I've been thinking that, too.
It's, I mean, at what point do you just pack it up and say, okay, I'll go back
to being a piece of shit?
Yeah, right.
This is for children.
I already bought PlayState.
Well, it's not even, I'm not even going to pretend like I'm above it.
Uh-huh.
Like, but it's okay to fail at things.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
And I'm not even going to do the thing like, hey, I made it farther than a lot
of people.
No, I failed.
I don't care.
Yeah.
Now, I am going to do drugs.
Right.
I'm going to fucking get drunk and drive my car.
Yeah.
And whose fault is that?
Society.
Society's fault.
You think about what you would do?
Uh-huh.
What you would, uh, you think about what kind of career you would go into?
I'd lie my way into something.
I mean, I'd go back to, yeah.
Yeah.
Sales, maybe?
People are like, what would I do?
Work at McDonald's?
Yeah.
No.
I would get a fucking municipal job.
Yeah.
I'd fucking lie my way.
I'd find somebody I could be friends with.
Self-siding?
Not even self-siding.
I would just say, like, get me a job at the parks department.
Yeah.
And then I'll be one of these, one of those, like, cool older black guys who
dresses like
a pimp.
Yeah.
But then he's just like, he's like the, he's like the comptroller or something
of the parks
department.
Right.
And he collects $800 million a year in overtime.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to be that.
You could be, I could, I could probably be like the most handsome guy at the
sanitation
department.
Yeah.
You know, just kind of get a nice haircut.
But that's been your dream for a while.
Sure.
Yeah.
Those are coveted jobs.
Garbage man.
Yeah.
People don't really know outside of New York.
They don't.
Yeah.
That's like, if you're from Staten Island, it's like fire department,
sanitation, then cop.
Cop is like three.
Yeah.
You know.
They look down on cops.
Yeah.
Garbage is higher than police.
But garbage.
But to be one of the higher ups in the, in the sanitation department, like, and
not have
to handle any garbage.
You get to like wear a suit.
I get to go to Tony's.
You get to work at Tony Soprano's office.
There was a girl that was like friends with that whole like Chapo set.
Who was from Staten Island that told me one time that her dad was a, like she
was from,
yeah, she was from Staten Island and her dad was like the fire boat captain.
Yeah.
Which like, why the fuck are there boat firefighters?
Yeah.
Because I guess if there's a fire in the, on a boat.
Yeah.
Just fucking, it's already, it's in the water already.
What are you going to do?
Just turn it over.
Yeah.
Or just, you know.
Yeah.
That kind of doesn't make any sense to me.
It seems stupid to me, but what do I know?
You know?
Yeah.
What do I know?
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
You're right.
Official story.
Two planes.
17 buildings.
Whatever.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah.
So it makes a lot of sense.
We have fire boats.
Anyways, she was telling me, yeah, her dad had like a lot of like guilt about
being one
of the boat guys instead of one of the truck guys on 9-11.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But why didn't he take his boat and sail up to the, they're pretty close to the
water,
aren't they?
Because it's not a real job being a seafaring fireman.
Yeah.
That's insane.
That's an insane thing to be.
What do you think the garbage guys.
That's like being a bathroom chef.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Right.
Like I cater, I cater bathroom events.
Yeah.
I guess that's not really a fair, that's not a good analogy.
No, but I see what you're, I see what you're going for.
Right.
What do you think the garbage guys were doing on 9-11?
Do you think any of them stopped and you don't think any of them tried to
rescue any
people, right?
The garbage men?
Yeah.
Well, what would they do?
Like get out of the truck and wave, yeah, people like us.
They're like, ah, my fingertips are burning.
The gloves are only covering the, the rest of my hand is fine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But my fingertips, my fingertips are all burned up from the 9-11 fires.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that maybe, perhaps they were doing that.
Yeah.
So you just went to Europe, how was that?
Yeah, it was good.
It was nice.
You know what I love about like, you know when you go to Chicago, you just kind
of hop off
the plane, you get right on a train.
That's like every city in Europe.
The public transportation is, if you like, if you like trains, I think you'll
like Europe.
And the airport in Madrid was very big.
I was surprised how big it was, you know.
Spain in hot water right now.
For the, for the, for recognizing, recognizing Palestine.
Yeah, for recognizing Palestine.
What does that mean?
So much stuff is happening right now where it's like, oh, this all means
nothing.
Yeah.
Like there is no, you can really just do whatever you want in the world.
Yeah.
I mean, there's this whole, like, first of all, I didn't even know
international law existed.
I'm learning that now.
Right.
I thought that companies, uh, basically the last hundred years, how it works is
there's
a race to build a nuclear bomb.
Uh-huh.
We did it first.
Right.
So we get to bully the world.
Yeah.
Russia managed to do it by stealing our ideas.
And so then that's what created, you know, like, uh, the Cold War.
Yeah.
And now other countries have bombs.
Are we the only ones with, us in Russia, the only ones with nukes?
But everybody's got them.
No, a lot is India.
Canada's got some.
India, Pakistan, China, North Korea.
Okay.
North Korea just got them recently.
Okay.
And Iran wants one, right?
But they.
Israel's had them since the 60s or 50s or 60s.
60s.
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
Uh.
Israel's going to nuke themselves.
France.
I think France was the third country.
Okay.
So it was the U.S., then Russia, then France.
Okay.
Um.
That's fun.
Yeah.
Imagine guys just eating ham sandwiches on a, on a nuke.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, uh.
Taking lunch.
What is that called?
uh madam crock crock crock crock crock crock crock crock crock crock crock crock
crock crock
something like that i don't know clutch my dad woman's crom mrs crotch is that
the name of the
sandwich that they eat over there in france you take your mistress out to eat
some woman's crotch
women's crotch yeah um yeah i don't know but you know that's kind of how it
works but now there's
all this you know reading all the news now it's like oh well there's the
international criminal
court and they're they handle charges against individuals so they've they've
gotten arrest
they're they're requested the prosecutors requested yeah an arrest warrant for
and the hamas guy too but
it's like leave him alone well that's kind of an out for him my understanding
is that guy is just he's
like shredder basically he's just down in the he's just down there living as a
big rat man yeah yeah
sending these turtle guys to go fight the idea right right and like so what is
like netanyahu
he's probably he's eating like caviar right now there's people dying and he's
like oh you know
long day at work time for my time to plug myself into the dick sucking machine
and watch my 85 inch tv
eat caviar and like he's watching brett gellman yeah he's watching brett gellman
sketch comedy videos
and uh
but the other guy he's been literally been under he has not seen the sun i don't
think there's that one
picture of him on like a couch like a fucked up couch surrounded by rubble
right and he's like
bitch you know like guess who you didn't get but then he's been in the sewers
like in these like
underground tunnel complexes since the war started he presumably hasn't left gaza
oh okay and if there
is an arrest warrant like his best option is just be like okay fine i'll stay
in trial yeah that's what
i would do if i was him yeah be like okay right what's the worst that try to
get me yeah right
then i just go that'd be funny if he's like john gotty we're all rooting for
him in switzerland
the guy already spent 22 years in prison in israel yeah you know right he's
been out for five years
yeah and then he did this yeah it's honestly kind of awesome yeah wait remember
that guy
imagine being that much of a like a bart simpson
like he came when he was like 17 he like killed something he's like this is
awesome he killed like
an idf soldier and they put him in prison for 22 years he gets out and then he's
like 1200 people
dead yeah how about that yeah and then now they've now they've just completely
destroyed gaza yeah
because this guy's you know yeah it's all him but yeah i said that that seems
like to be the uh that
that would be the move it's just a surrender to the icc that also completely
fucks the united
states and israel diplomatically you know in terms of their their international
standing can you
imagine the fucking white house having the answer to that yeah like okay so the
hamas guy
willingly surrendered to the icc to stand trial for these war crimes but so do
you not support that
you're saying that like they don't have jurisdiction there it's an impossible
bind to be in right right
the us would have to say yes we do not believe in a system of you know like
where the rule of law applies
to everybody yeah at that point because they're already they're already kind of
have to do it with
putin because it supported the the icc arrest warrants of putin but not the netanyahu
one and
that one's a question of jurisdiction i think okay you know um but in this case
yeah i guess our boys
just keep keep winning who our boys in hamas i'm not really a hamas guy you're
not no i'm sort of i'm
more of like a hezbollah kind of guy hezbollah's pretty cool hezbollah's
awesome yeah yeah yeah i like
that i like that nazra was kind of like he's sort of like he's like don't be
yeah yeah like he looks
like he loves snacking i guess yeah i'm into that their videos are awesome yeah
he's in the video
t