Name: The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Andre Kim - Episode 63
Uploaded: 2024-07-20T20:06:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Andre Kim - Episode 63' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Andre Kim - Episode 63' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-20. Transcript available.

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Andre Kim - Episode 63

Woo!
Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Adam Friedland Show.
It is the week of July. It's the teens, right?
It's like July 12th through something.
Yeah, whatever you want.
Today is Friday.
Fuck!
Okay.
God damn it.
What?
I got to move my car and I forgot.
Fuck.
What days do you have to move your car?
Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.
Are you serious?
Yeah, I mean, it's on either side of the street, but then the spots fill up.
So I moved it Monday and then Tuesday I got to go fucking move it again.
That's such a scam.
Yeah.
The street sweeping, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like, you really think my car is going to make a difference?
I mean, they're at least sweeping the streets.
Are they?
Yeah, now. For a while they weren't.
I mean, they were giving the tickets and then there would just still be garbage
out all the time.
Right.
There should be a thing like, hey, we didn't street sweep today, so no ticket.
They do it.
I mean, that's honestly, it's like, I've said it before, the only reason I'm
not an anti-Semite
is because of the amount of times Jewish holidays have saved my ass.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where I'm like, fuck, and I run outside, I'm completely naked, and I look at
the, well, I'm like, what?
Why don't I have a ticket?
Yeah.
And it's because it's...
Rosh Hashanah.
Yeah, it's Rosh Hashanah or some shit.
I don't know, I don't know, whatever the fuck.
Yeah.
Saccat or...
Right.
You know, one of their things.
What kind of car do you drive?
I have a Toyota 86.
Really?
Yeah.
I like that.
Do you?
Yeah.
Are you like a Fast and the Furious guy?
That's not racist.
I just...
No.
No, I got a Mini Cooper because it's so small and the parking's great.
Oh, that's fun.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you know what I really don't like is the...
What is that, like, Mini Cooper crossover they came out with, like, 10, 15
years ago?
With the four doors?
Yeah, the four doors, and it's bigger.
What's the name of that?
It's like, it's...
It's like the Sportsman.
Yeah, the Sportsman.
Yeah.
What?
Why?
Defeats the whole purpose of a Mini Cooper.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like the big Porsches with the four doors.
I'm kind of like, why would you ever get that?
I remember when the new Mini Cooper came out.
What was that, like 2003, 2002, maybe?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I remember, for some, whatever, like, those years are, and in my mind, it was
before 9-11,
but there was, like, a brief window where, like, I felt like No Doubt had
control over
the whole culture.
You know what I mean?
Right, yeah.
Like, that band dictated what everyone's life was going to be.
Right.
For, like, two years.
Yeah.
You know?
And I've said it on the show before.
There's a restaurant in downtown Brooklyn called Superfine that looks like they
opened it in
that year and then didn't change anything, and so it's, like, sort of this,
like, weird
time capsule, but they just, they closed for, presumably, remodeling or
something last time
I went there, and I'm like, well, I'm never coming back here again, because the
food was
atrocious, but it was bad in a way, it was bad in a way where, like,
restaurants used
to be, like, not good, really.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It was just like, eh, whatever.
Yeah, right.
It's just a place to go eat food.
Because there was no Yelp.
Right, yeah.
So they could get away with it.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's probably what it was.
But, yeah, I remember that.
I'm like, man, they're coming, the Mini Cooper's coming back out.
I don't know why I thought that was important.
I think I just liked Austin Powers or something.
Oh, yeah.
Well, it was good in the Italian job.
Yes.
You know, a lot of people, when I have the Mini Cooper and I show them, like,
at the end
of the night, after spots, I like to give people a ride home.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I just, because I know how much it means.
Yeah.
I stopped doing that, because people treat you like you're their fucking Uber
driver.
Do they?
Yeah.
You ever give someone a ride home?
You got a car.
Yeah, but I always have.
See, I keep my car just filled with shit.
Oh, really?
That way, it's like, ah, yeah.
I got this box filled with paint.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah, no, and then people, they'll be like, oh, can you park to the left out?
Can you pull up to a little more, just a little, 10 feet more?
And I'm like, bro, just get the fuck out.
Yeah.
I just drove you eight miles.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Mm-hmm.
So, yeah, dude, it's good to be here, though.
I fucking, I remember you guys were talking about me when you called Vinnie
Beetle on the
show.
That's who knows you.
Yeah, Scumbag Vinnie.
Yes, yes, yes.
Big character on the show, I think, right?
He is, yeah.
And then, yeah, that's right.
Okay, now it's coming back to me.
So, you know him from, like, starting comedy.
Yeah.
When I started, he was, yeah, he was still, like, Scumbag Vinnie.
So, he was the one that ruined the Mini Cooper ride home, I'm assuming.
No, I never gave him a ride.
He was like, dude, can I just get a ride?
It's right down the street, and it's 85 miles later.
He's having to drop you off in the city.
It's in East Haven, Connecticut.
Yeah.
One of the funniest things he ever said to me was after he did the show, like,
once or twice or something, we were on the phone.
Yeah.
And he's like, dude, and I can come do the podcast whenever.
I'm like, I'm literally just 85 minutes outside of the city.
And he, like, said, he, like, said that, like, I mean, it was way beyond an
hour.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just, I'm 85 minutes from the city, so I can be there whenever.
Dude, Metro North is only 148 minutes away, it says.
I'm looking right now, Nick.
Yeah, yeah.
Dude, I'm a cool 378 minutes away.
Yeah.
I'll take a connecting flight from Syracuse.
It's great, dude.
Yeah.
It's, yeah.
And then you, like, I never listened to the other show, but I remember you guys
had him on, and I would listen to that, like, the clips.
Like, you guys had Gene DiNapoli on.
Yeah.
Like, when he met him, I was there for all that.
Oh, really?
You know what I mean?
Like, Artie Lang, like, all that.
Bam Margera.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
So.
That's how we met him.
It's like, I think he DM'd me or somebody.
Really?
It was me or something, and he was like, hey, do you want Bam on the show?
And I said, yeah.
Right.
And then, yeah, we drove out the Yonkers to Gene DiNapoli's, like, that room he
had.
That room he had, whatever that was.
I mean, it was just a, I don't know what that venue was prior.
It was just, like, in a plaza, like, nail salon, pizza shop.
Yeah, yeah.
Venue.
You know what I mean?
Right.
And then he, and we showed up, and Vinny was wearing, like, what is it?
Is it Thrasher?
Thrasher.
He used to always wear that shit.
Well, he had a Thrasher hoodie on, but then a matching Thrasher hat.
Like, trashy as fuck.
Yeah, but that's, like, beyond trash.
I mean, like, even, like, the most white trash person is going to be, like,
well, I'm wearing
the Cookie Monster fitted.
I can't wear the Cookie Monster.
It's got to be Stewie Griffin.
You know what I mean?
They're not going to go, like, both.
It's like the kids that used to wear the My Dog Ate My Homework t-shirt from
Target or
some shit.
You're like, why would you wear that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know?
But, yeah, I remember.
But then also, My Dog Ate My Homework hat.
Right, right.
Like, having both of them.
Yeah.
Yeah, I remember I pulled up with Artie, and this is when Artie was, like, had
the fucked
up nose and the thing on his nose, the blood stain thing.
And we pulled up to Gene DiNapoli's club, and Artie was, like, I was driving,
and Artie
was in the passenger seat, and he was, like, he sees the club, and he's, like,
Jesus fucking
Christ.
He's, like, where the fuck am I playing tonight?
And he's, like, fucking Vinny, I swear to God.
And it was just funny, man.
Yeah.
Yeah, scumbag Vinny.
He still loves you, man.
He talks about you all the time.
Yeah.
Well, he's such an interesting guy.
He's very interesting.
He's down in Disney now, Orlando, slinging Disney pins.
Yeah.
I can't tell if I'm sick or not.
Adam's been, like, deathly ill for a week.
Oh, really?
And I think everybody's getting COVID, but I just feel kind of, like, run down,
and I can't
tell if I'm, like, actually sick or if I have, like, news fatigue.
Really?
Because I get into, like, you know, something will happen, and I'm just, like,
locked in,
you know, and it'll be days on end where I'm just, like, refreshing to see if
there's
any more information.
But, yeah, since this shooting thing, I've just been...
You think that was a hoax?
A hoax?
The shooting?
Like, in what way?
Like, you think it was staged?
Do you think it was staged?
I didn't think so, but my friend last night, I was talking to him, and he was
like, please,
that shit was staged.
Is it a comic?
He used to be a comic, like, years ago, but he's, like, a big Trump hater.
Yeah.
And he was like, come on, that was, like, some blood ketchup packet thing.
I, yeah, I mean, I fully encourage the, like, going off the deep end, like,
Democrat conspiracy
theories now.
I think it's like, because now you see, like, conservatives that are mad about
it.
They're like, oh, this is Blue Anon.
These guys are just as bad as QAnon.
It's like, no, encourage that behavior.
Right.
I think that's good.
If someone, like, actually tried to kill Trump because they thought the first
shooting was
a hoax, that would be the funniest motivation of all time.
Right.
Yeah.
No, I don't think it's, I mean, like, I've seen some of that.
I've seen, because, you know, he gets up and he goes, where are my shoes?
Right.
Because I guess when the Secret Service tackled him, it knocked his shoes off.
I didn't even know, I didn't hear about that.
Well, every candidate is 185 years old, right?
And I don't think you can, you get to a certain age and you can't wear, like,
regular shoes
anymore because it'll cut off the circulation of your feet and it'll have to be
removed.
Interesting.
So I think they all wear, like, slippers.
Joe Biden has, like, he wears, like, you can see it when he goes upstairs.
He has, like, special old people's shoes.
Interesting.
That look like dress shoes.
So when the Secret Service tackled him, they knocked him over.
And I saw people on Twitter saying, like, oh, well, he was hiding the blood
packet in his shoes.
So when they, when they, when they tackled him, he took his shoes off and
pulled the blood
packet out and put it on his ear because, you know, obviously you can't just
keep it in
his pocket.
That wouldn't make any sense.
He has to hide.
He has to hide the blood packet in his shoes because they're going to check him
for, they're
going to say, okay, Mr. President, empty your pockets.
We need to make sure you're not hiding.
I saw someone else say it was fake blood, which he has access to because of,
because
of his time in the WWE.
So they're under the impression that the fake blood is a controlled substance.
You can't, this is not, you need a license.
You have to be like some kind of government contractor to get it, pass a
background check.
You got to know Vince McMahon.
You got to know Vince McMahon.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Did you beat Vince McMahon in the billionaire face off?
He's like, listen, I need a favor.
I'm going to need a packet of fake blood.
And they're like, I don't know.
It feels like I'm getting in over my head here.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I like, just promise me this.
You're not going to carry it around in your pocket.
And he says, no, I'm going to hide it in my shoes.
And when the shooter intentionally misses, kills two other people, when he
intentionally misses
me and kills other people, then I'm going to take my shoes off and quickly in
front
of all of the cameras, and there'll be multiple angles so everyone can see it.
So we need to make sure we nail my shoes coming off and then me reaching into
the shoes and
getting the blood packet and putting it on my ear.
When you put it that way, that sounds crazy.
It's crazy.
It is.
Yeah.
Did you see the spe