Name: The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Johnny Pemberton - Episode 64
Uploaded: 2024-07-26T21:00:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Johnny Pemberton - Episode 64' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Johnny Pemberton - Episode 64' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-26. Transcript available.

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Johnny Pemberton - Episode 64

Woo!
Do you have anything to plug, by the way, before we start the show?
Yeah, I have a bunch of things to plug.
Dates?
What are his...
What are their guys' names?
What are their guys' names?
Their guys' names are Sacramento.
His last name is August 28th.
And his brother is San Francisco, and it's August 29th.
Stop with the...
You're doing alternative L.A. nerd melt style?
Nerd melt style?
What are you doing?
Oh, nerd melt.
You're doing one of those purple American Apparel front zip hoodie styles?
Oh my God, these are old references.
Do you remember that style of comedy?
I guess so.
I don't know if that isn't exactly the same style.
It's 10 years ago, maybe more.
Maybe 15.
Wait, who's the zip up, though?
Because I feel like...
It was like the Pete Holmes era.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I guess it is.
Nick and I talk about this a lot.
Like you do.
Oh, okay.
So I had four pizzas, like you do, that kind of sing-songy.
I sort of accidentally forgot Maloub.
They say that?
I left Maloub at this guy's house.
Really?
Yeah.
That's a Pete Holmes bit.
No, it's not actually.
It's some comedian.
I can't remember their name.
Pete Holmes.
It's definitely not.
It's from Crashing.
It's in that sing-songy.
He leaves Maloub at the...
Maloub.
So I guess I kind of made a little mistake and kind of took a poop in the
ground.
Really?
You know what I mean?
It's like...
It's that, right?
The whole like...
Yeah.
Sing-songy.
Hardwick style.
Yeah, Hardwick.
Talking, talking...
This is older than 10 years ago.
Your dad's calling.
You going to put it on speaker?
Put it on speaker.
I'm doing the show.
I'm going to put it on speaker.
What's up with you?
Are you all right?
With Kamala?
What's going on?
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is great.
That's it?
So Trump's guy said he's going to be losing and then he'll win?
Well, obviously they say that.
They're Trump's guys.
He's paying them.
They're not the experts.
They're like the guys that work for Trump.
Dad, it's brat summer.
We're fine.
Kamala's going to win.
It's brat summer.
Are you being a brat right now?
That was cool.
Bye, Dad.
All right, bye.
Oh, my God.
They're so happy.
The parents.
What did he say?
He said their developments.
And I said, what?
Developments?
He said Trump's people say that Kamala's about to go up,
but that he's going to come back and win.
Wait.
I don't know if that's a development.
Trump's people say that Kamala's going to go up where?
In the polls.
Oh, okay.
Go up in the polls.
Yeah.
But Trump's still going to win.
But your dad is like, is he a trooper?
At the comedy mothership, she's going to go up.
He's going to go to the mothership?
Yeah, yeah.
Ooh, that would be a good.
No, my dad's MSNBC.
Right.
That guy.
He's like an old school bib.
Your parents are like that or no?
No.
They're not Trumpy at all.
Not even a little bit.
They're MSNBC.
They're not even like, I don't think they watch MSNBC.
They're probably, I don't even know actually.
Do they have TV?
They do.
I think probably CNN.
Yeah, CNN.
Yeah, I'm sure.
They're happy right now, the parents.
They're very happy.
I think so.
Probably my dad's happy.
I don't know about mom.
My dad said about Kamala, he said, first time he's felt joy in six months.
Yeah.
He said it's Brat Summer.
Does he actually say it's, does he know what Brat Summer is?
I don't know.
Apparently my sister, my sister said he explained it to my grandma on the phone.
It's not real.
It's like a marketing thing, right?
Just like a, like a thing where.
Yeah, it is a marketing thing.
I've been saying that.
I looked it up online actually and all I could find out was something about,
you wear a sunblock
and you go sit at these, these green tables.
Brat Summer?
Yeah, it's part of Brat Summer.
You smoke those skinny cigarettes.
That's part of Brat Summer.
You know what it is?
It's just being mean to your boyfriend and then you're like, oh, it's Brat
Summer.
Oh, I thought guys can be brats though, right?
No.
I think they can.
No, girls, can you, no.
No, I'm telling you, I think they can.
I mean, you don't know, I don't know, but I think that I know.
That guys can be a brat.
No, they're like, oh, my mother says you're a disappointment.
It's Brat Summer.
Oh, okay.
They say stuff like that.
It's like being crazy, maybe sleeping in.
When are you going to make more money?
It's Brat Summer.
Oh, right.
I'm sleeping in.
It's Brat, yeah, yeah.
I'm, uh.
I cheated on you.
It's Brat Summer.
I'm going to stand on my shirt.
It's Brat Summer.
Yeah, yeah.
Girls do be doing that.
I'm not going to flush.
It's Brat Summer.
Yeah, girls take massive ones these days.
Yeah, they don't flush.
And then they just brat it.
I'm going to text you a picture of my shit.
It's Brat Summer.
Do girls do that for you?
Not for me.
No, I'm married.
Fans do that.
Yeah, fans.
That's what I ask for.
The fans?
Send me pics of your largest.
If you're a chick out there and you take a big old stinky, send it to Johnny.
Oh, by the way, welcome to the show.
It's Johnny Pemberton, everyone.
Thank you for having me, audience.
He's promoting his day with a guy named Sacramento?
Sacramento and San Francisco, yeah.
Wow.
Yep.
They're very cool.
What are they like?
You know, they've had a lot of changes over the years.
But San Francisco's problem?
San Francisco, that's historically a big issue there.
I guess what else they have going on.
They've got a lot of weather issues, right?
Like, when it's hot here, it's cold there.
Yeah, yeah.
What is that?
It's just the ocean.
When America zigs, they zag.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I haven't been there in a long time, though.
Too many hills.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
I haven't been there forever, actually.
And poo-poo on the street.
I have stepped over poop there.
Yeah.
Drug paraphernalia.
There shouldn't be poo-poo on the street.
Unless it's dog poop.
I don't know.
It's the richest country ever.
They can't just be like, oh, it's his identity to poo-poo.
Is it the richest country anymore?
I don't think it is, right?
Who's richer?
Like, what's it called?
Kenya.
Qatar?
Qatar?
Qatar.
Not...
Qatar?
Qatar.
Cutter.
Qatar.
Qatar.
Qatar.
It's really in...
Yeah, Qatar's fucking bigger, man.
Qatar?
Yeah.
Are they like a sad girl?
What do you mean?
Qatar's?
Oh, yeah, it's Qatar's.
Or they're like, I gotta get out of this town.
You can't cut there, though.
That's not...
Everything's illegal there.
Really?
Yeah.
No, that's legal there.
I mean, not in public.
You would never do that in public.
Of course, because you can't be messy like that in public in Qatar.
Yeah, you'd be super clean.
Then don't name your country after depressed girls.
Qatar.
Qatar.
Qatar.
What about UAE, right?
They're more rich, aren't they?
What's that?
United States of America?
United Arab Emirates.
Oh, okay.
Your enemy?
UAE?
Isn't that where Dubai is, right?
Yeah, it's great.
Yeah.
I love Dubai.
I'm a huge Dubai guy.
Why is it there?
I don't know why it's there.
They're like, oh, we're gonna...
Have you been there?
No, I don't want to go.
I've been there.
It's like 150 every day.
Oh, yeah.
And all the roads are straight.
There's like no city planning at all.
It's really weird.
Like, all the roads are straight.
And you can't see anything because the billboards are like two stories high.
They probably planned it to be straight.
Well, I think they didn't plan it because the shake gets to decide.
You went there to do stand-up?
I did, like, years ago.
For who?
For some weird, like, tour that was all at these expat clubs.
It was the first time they ever did this tour.
It was me, an Irish comedian, and a Scottish comedian.
And it was not very good because they forgot to promote a bunch of the shows.
So no one came?
For the first show, there was literally no one there because they didn't
promote it at all.
So you were at the Burj Khalifa, top floor.
Yeah, top floor.
Zero audience.
We're dangling on, like, a little special extended stage.
Why did they do it there?
It's too...
Because they just...
They're like, we're going to have the biggest building of all time, and it's
150 every day.
And it also doesn't have, like, plumbing or something like that.
What?
The plumbing is super fucked up.
They forgot?
They forgot?
It's so crazy.
That is brat style.
It's very brat.
It's very brat.
That is very brat.
I watched a YouTube video about it, about how they have to, like, have trucks
take all
the shit away from the place every day because the plumbing doesn't work.
But that might just be...
What?
It might be, like...
That's not real.
I watched one of those, like, David...
Google it.
I'll Google that later.
Google it.
What do I Google?
Poo-poo in Dubai?
Google Burj Khalifa shit problems.
Brat summer.
Brat summer?
I bet you a girl designed it.
Oh, man.
Yeah, yeah.
Girls never think about plumbing.
I don't think that would be the case there, though, right?
Why?
I don't think you're allowed to design in a...
It's true.
I don't think you're allowed.
It's really...
It's true.
I don't love...
Girls aren't allowed to design.
Ladies, start your engines.
You remember that, Hillary?
No.
Was that a thing?
When Saudi Arabia, like, permitted women to drive for the first time, she
tweeted...
She said that?
Ladies, start your engines.
I miss her.
We gotta bring her back.
I mean, where is she right now?
Right now?
Yeah.
You have any idea?
I don't keep tabs on Hill.
I don't know.
Probably, like, Cancun or something.
You think so?
I think she's having a...
Senior Frogs.
Is she bratting?
She's doing, like, body shots.
Oh, my God.
She's being a brat?
She's being a brat, like Bill's letting her out the...
What is brat summer?
Like, being a slut?
I don't know.
Are we about to have a slut president?
That'd be so sick, actually.
I think Kamala is too buttoned up.
I know.
I wish she was slutty.
Because she wears, like, the...
What was that video of her coming off the airplane, like, a couple years ago?
You know?
She had, like, her...
It's, like, slow motion.
She had some sort of, like...
She had, like, dunks on or something like that.
Or she had, like, Timberlands.
I don't remember what it was.
It was years ago.
It was, like, a...
Oh, check her out.
She looks so fucking...
She looks so cool.
She's got cool shoes on.
Come on, dude.
She's dialed in.
This isn't, like, an Austin-style, no-holds-barred-freed speech.
What are you, like, oh, she wears Timbs?
She can't be the president?
That's not what I said.
I would love it if the president wore Timbs.
I would love it, too.
Yeah.
But people were making a big deal of it.
People were making, like, a big...
They were making a big deal that she was so stylish.
Really?
Yeah.
So that means she's not a slut?
I think so, yeah.
All right.
I'm thinking that brats are not...
You know, I'm too old to know any of this stuff.
I don't know anything.
What mooging is and, like...
Mooging?
Rizzing or whatever.
That's a thing?
I don't fucking know.
You know.
People speak in gibberish now.
Well, you know.
What?
You know.
I don't have any idea what that word even...
I've never even heard that word before.
It's what babies talk about.
Mooging?
Yeah.
They inherited, like, a world that's dying.
So then they have to be, like, uh...
Mooging?
I don't know.
Mooging and rizzing.
I've heard rizz is short for charisma.
Okay.
Fine.
That's what I know.
All right.
I think it's when you fuck your computer.
Mooging?
Yeah.
It's the new type of gay.
They're like, we fuck computers.
Yeah, yeah.
And then all their dads are like, just be gay like your dad.
Just be regular gay.
Out of touch.
Now you fuck computers?
This generation.
I can't stand you...
I don't know.
I think that's what's happening.
Yeah.
You have Gen Z.
I have it?
Yeah.
You're kids, right?
I don't have any kids.
No.
I thought you have a 19-year-old.
Oh, no.
No?
You said that to me before.
I definitely didn't say that.
Yeah.
You said I went to the Moog convention with my 19-year-old.
Oh, like the...
Like the...
And he rizzed me.
Oh, Moog.
Yeah.
I don't even know what we're talking about anymore.
Neither do I.
Because I just don't know any slang anymore.
What are we going to 