Name: The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ian Lara - Episode 67
Uploaded: 2024-08-17T21:21:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ian Lara - Episode 67' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ian Lara - Episode 67' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-17. Transcript available.

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ian Lara - Episode 67

welcome to the adam friedland show podcast we're joined today ian laro thanks
for joining us thank
you brother thank you for one of the best in the business over here i
appreciate you saying that
man this is really cool it's a cool studio thank you so much thank you so much
nicholas how are
you doing it's a beautiful day i just got a hankering for onion rings as soon
as we started
well i've been looking at your shirt and it's kind of uh oh and this yeah i got
a fud ruckers
yeah yeah you look like like this is a look that i'm like yeah i could see you
you want an onion
ring oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't know where it came from but i know s&p has
them they are they're
not bad at s&p it's pretty hard to fuck up onion rings um yeah i suppose yeah i
haven't had an
onion ring in forever they're really good that was always like the adult fries
when i was a kid it's
vegetables your dad would get onion rings instead of fries yeah i'd be like
whoa it's so interesting
because who was like let's slice the onion and fry it that's kind of like australians
that was that
it was them yeah yeah well they they blew they made the blooming onion and that
technology is just
it blew we we can't even conceive of it and you know i had a blooming onion for
the first time like
two months ago and i missed out dude they they made them smaller back in the
day you'd go and it would
be the biggest fucking onion ever well i had one i was in i had one in abu dhabi
and it was huge so i
don't know if maybe over there they're still doing a big wow were you there for
the abu dhabi
comedy festival yeah yeah yeah i was there oh how was it it was fun was it all
guys like shakes and
stuff in the in the stadiums and no no that's what you imagine yeah and but no
it's just expats
yeah it was a lot of guys that work in abu dhabi it was some of that yeah but
it was a lot of just
expats and like people oh wow i think the whole point of the festival they
wanted to show people that
you know we're open to whatever so bring out a bunch of comedians to say like
wild shit
and it was so it was fun it was cool like no one got arrested huh no one got
arrested no not that i
know it was no restrictions they was like do whatever y'all want really yeah i
i wouldn't trust
that actually i'd be i'd be afraid yeah i'd be afraid i'd like to think that if
i went to somewhere
and i got in trouble for joke i like to think that america would come to my
they would not you don't
think so no i mean if you guys have like a loud voice like if you guys i feel
like if i called back
or if my friends in comedy were like hey we gotta raise some some ruckus no
yeah they never they won't
get anybody back you don't think so no who would we trade for you britney
grinder goes back i mean yeah
she goes back to jail different country we get you back yeah you trade me for
you know we trade you
she's about to retire i have i still have some i have momentum no remember that
guy that got arrested
north korea that's one of my favorite guys was it like david auto auto warm
beer warm beer it was
like so he was like a bro that was like yo i'm gonna steal this oh yeah poster
yeah yeah poster and
then they brought they gave him back in a coma and he died like a week later
and then they sent us a
bill for two million dollars for his like a hospital room and the state
department paid it the bill
yeah yeah they were like also you owe us two million dollars for his for his
hospital bills and we paid
it what if it wasn't like one of those countries what if it was a more country
that were more
friendly like germany yeah like a country where there's like what i would like
to do is i go to
germany get arrested for denying the holocaust the state department has to get
me out and i just go
right back and do it again and i'm just the holocaust or just keep denying it
yeah well you go back and
deny the holocaust oh okay yeah i don't think i could really i don't i don't
speak german i don't
feel like i could go over there and be like guys look at these motherfuckers i'd
be like uh
we not understand uh sprechen i'd be like yeah i guess it probably sounds
better in german
have you ever seen that uh picture of danny green the the three and d uh nba
player at the holocaust
memorial in uh in berlin no no he took a selfie at the holocaust memorial and
he was like going like
this and he said had to do a one-time hashtag holocaust really yeah it's one of
the i know danny
you know him yeah he's he's from long island oh yeah that's right he played i i
went to a basketball
my school was a basketball powerhouse in queens and he went to a basketball
powerhouse in long
island so we played against him yeah that's insane that's insane it's one of
the funniest posts
of all time on the internet yeah he said you know i had to do a one-time
hashtag holocaust have you
ever been to the boston holocaust yes i have it's like right next to the union
oyster house apparently
like that's just go you have like a clam chowder and you're like oh yeah it's a
holocaust yeah yeah
you just burp you just there's cream on your face caleb said that like homeless
guys go there to take
dumps in boston i feel like you could say that about any place i guess it's a
city i was going to take
dumps yeah that doesn't yeah well the the don't imagine the homeless guys are
like ah fuck i gotta
get to the holocaust memorial i think you think they're just there yeah i think
they're just there
no i think they're anti-semitic no the berlin uh uh memorial is uh like a uh
they're like big gay
cruising spot because they're like a bunch of like uh like it's uh these blocks
and then so they're a
bunch of like alleys it's like a i wonder if in berlin you can open a gay nightclub
called auschwitz
and there's showers and i guarantee you'd get business it doesn't matter how
offensive it is
you could be like it could just be called like the chambers wasn't it like bunk
beds you can go
back to after having gay sex in the showers
a couple years ago there's still claw marks on the doors
there's still just fingernails embedded all
you're outside denying that the club is real yeah we realized our greatest
mistake was not
going into the showers ourselves because that's what we actually wanted but you
couldn't be gay back then
so yeah they were also there in the camps didn't know bieber he went to the he
was like an frank
he said believer yeah yeah he's like i wish you could have been a believer he
wrote it in like the
guest book yeah which is so funny that he even even him filling out the guest
book seems offensive
even if he just wrote like yo what's up justin bieber was here that seems you
want to get on the
email list i guess yeah the and frank email list yeah i wish you could have
been a gift shop
there at the and frank yeah do they sell the giant pennies uh no they don't do
they don't have one of those
machines i feel like any kind of they all have yeah you know what i mean
like even that one would have any fucking museum there's always
we opened with holocaust this is like this is kind of our thing there's nothing
really else to talk about
yeah yeah what else nothing else is going on nothing's happened the last couple
days re-watching
all the matrix movies you know i've seen the matrix i love those movies so much
dude i i i watched i it's
been a long time since i've re-watched the first one so i re-watched the first
it's amazing the first
one's great but then the second one's really good too didn't they just have one
like a couple years
they did and i saw it the first half i was really into it and then i kind of
like checked out a little
bit more so i wanted to watch it again but i was like you know what why don't i
just watch all of
them and then so i got like a running start into it and then the same thing
happened they got a baby
half you hated it i didn't hate it it's just um it's like it's too grounded in
what life is you know
what i mean like that was a criticism of the early mate first certainly the
first movie is that it's
like it's basically a children's movie you know it's essentially like these
aren't even really adult
characters they don't have any kind of complex emotions it's all just like
believe in yourself
and you can do anything you know but then there's computers so you're like you
know industrial music
yeah it's just that was big it's 99 yeah and it's like oh what if there was a
secret world you
could get away to where you have superpowers or whatever the fourth movie is
the only one where
they like introduce this like cons you see fucking jada pinkett smith's
character niobi or whatever
the premise of the fourth movie is that the machines have in the third one neo
has to sacrifice himself
because agent smith the bad agent has like turned into a virus and he's taking
over the matrix in the
machine city and neo being his opposite can like neutralize him so he goes to
the machines and says
like look i'll destroy myself and smith and that'll like create some kind of
equilibrium and then we
can have peace between the machines and humans and it's not this either or you
know one side wins or
the other and then the premise of the fourth movie is that the machines end up
having a civil war due to
like limited resources they fight each other they fight each other and so there's
the humans the
humans in the machines and then there's the machines and the machines and they're
on one side and you know
there's like a new thing and the machines have rebuilt neo and trinity under
this new matrix where
they keep them kind of just out of reach of each other they've erased their
memories and they see each
other but neo is middle-aged he works at a game company and like you know
sounds pretty good it's
it's well it's the one that it's the one where it's like it actually deals with
life and like human
emotions and when neo gets brought out of that matrix he meets jada pinkett smith's
character who's now
old because it's supposed to be 60 years he's only aged like she says to him
you know you guys
they free him and then she puts him in prison right away and uh he's like you
know that's not fair and
she goes yeah well neither is aging but you don't hear me complaining and it's
like you know no matter
what even if the matrix were to be real and you could escape it you're still
going to get old and
everyone you love is going to die and so are you yeah so and with with that one
with the fourth one it's
like now you can't have that and then also this like wow you can believe in
yourself and do anything
you know it's like no now i'm just sitting here as a middle-aged man and i'm um
you know you've now
you've taken me back out of the movie in the way that it it did give me yeah it
just should be a baby
movie it should be a baby movie it's like the the baby the cartoon spider-man
are better because it's
they're just it's just a baby movie it should be a cartoon yeah yeah wasn't
there a black isn't that
the black there's the black one of course the miles morales that's that's what's
funny too
about i watched the second because the original matrix is already pretty
diverse they went they
wanted will smith to play neo yeah i heard that but he didn't understand the
script i didn't understand
the movie oh the original matrix yeah and especially imagining like i watched
it and i was like i don't
know imagine when they they put it out in 1995 when like most people didn't
even have dial-up internet
yeah was it 95 or was i thought it was they wrote the script in 94 but the
movie was finished movie
came out in 99 99 so they were probably people were reading the script in 1995
when like
you know pepsi didn't have a website you know and you're like yeah you know
they dial up into this
matrix i mean it would sound like nonsense it wouldn't you know will said that's
the movie that he
regrets turning down the most yeah in retrospect because now you can understand
it but i i mean like
because she cheated on him no because it made oh i thought jada was around no
no 