Name: The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Chet Hanks (My Best Friend) - Bonus Episode
Uploaded: 2024-10-16T21:02:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Chet Hanks (My Best Friend) - Bonus Episode' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Chet Hanks (My Best Friend) - Bonus Episode' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-16. Transcript available.

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Chet Hanks (My Best Friend) - Bonus Episode

Ladies and gentlemen, Chester Hanks, everyone.
Thank you.
Come on, dude.
Again, I want to specify this is not the talk show.
So we wouldn't typically for a pot.
Oh, you have the gun, the prop gun.
Oh, yeah.
Go ahead.
Make my day.
Check.
Can I ask you a question?
Get on the microphone, sir.
Get on the mic.
This is my best friend, ladies and gentlemen.
Damn.
That was a dinger.
Do you think that we're going to be able to top our last podcast?
It wasn't a podcast.
It was the talk show.
Do you think we'll be able to top our last episode?
You don't have to top it.
You just have to be consistent, bro.
I know, but that one was pretty iconic.
Well, it was like a moment, like us meeting each other.
It was like a moment like.
I know.
Like when Kennedy was shot or something.
People were like, I remember when they met.
And now we're best friends.
Literally, you pick me up at the airport.
Yeah.
LAX pickup is a big move.
And then it turns out you live.
Fuck, dude.
Just tell everyone where I live.
Why don't you?
What's your address?
Wait, Chet lives in a building with all retired Jewish people.
And we get into the elevator and they're like, did you check out the new
fitness center, Chet?
It's all like old Jews and you.
It is the funniest.
That's how I like it.
It's the best crew.
Chet picked me up in, of course, in the Lambo truck.
No license plates.
No.
I don't believe in license plates.
I don't believe in them either.
I was saying this the other day.
Look, what's going to happen if you don't have one?
I don't know.
You get pulled over.
You'll get a ticket.
You're one of the smartest people I've ever met.
It's better than getting, you know, tickets for every time you run a red light
on camera
or something.
If you go on the lane that you're not supposed to go in on the car, you know,
the freeway,
the fast pass.
I could go on the fast pass lane whenever I want.
No, it's called the HOV on the East Coast.
They can't get me anyway.
It's the rock.
It's the fast pass lane, actually.
Fast pass?
Yeah.
Oh, this is kind of like a Kendrick versus Drake situation right now.
Actually, I have a bone to pick with you about that.
Really?
Yeah.
You went viral for explaining to your father the Kendrick Drake beef.
In our DM, I was the one who told you about it, but you get the credit for
teaching Woody
about it when it was me.
It was I.
I don't.
It's not like you told me about the Kendrick Drake beef.
You were like, oh, golly.
Kendrick and Drake are beefing right now.
I was like, let me tell you about the culture.
I was like, Chet, let me.
I have to tell you about what's going on in the culture right now.
And you were like, well, you're my source of news.
And I was like, Chet, I was.
Is that what you want me to say?
I was like, I'm no source of news.
I would listen to The Breakfast Club.
I would go on World Star Hip Hop.
Adam, you're right.
I wouldn't even know about rap music if it wasn't for you.
I tagged you.
I said, Chet, we need to stop this craziness because we had a battle.
We had a rap battle, which is honestly, we brought beefs back, right?
Because I ended your career on my rap song.
And then we realized that what was more important is that in our community, we
can't be tearing
each other down.
Right.
The male community.
Yeah.
Men shouldn't be tearing other men down.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah, we got to stick together for sure.
We got to stick together.
Yeah, dude.
I'm going to look up these DMs because you're like, oh, Adam, please inform,
what's going
on in hip hop music?
You seem to be an expert in it.
And then you go viral for breaking down the beef to your dad.
And you didn't say, my friend Adam is the one who gave me.
Yeah.
What did you say?
I just, I didn't want to give you your shine, bro.
Can you let me have my moment?
Does Drake really have a daughter and is a pedo?
Question mark.
Does Kendrick beat women?
You asked me this, Chet.
Well, no, because I, wait, look at this.
I did, at Chet Hanks, we got to stop all this craziness.
You say, you respond, question mark.
I say, in the hip hop community, we battled and then we became best friends.
And then you said, does Drake really have a daughter and is a pedo?
Does Kendrick beat women?
I said, they say Drake gave false info about the daughter, mastermind, 5D chess.
And then you said, if he did, that's a genius move.
So, basically, the point is, you told me everything I needed to know.
It's just a joke, dude.
About the Kendrick and Drake beef.
No, when I saw you post that text with your dad, a tear came down.
A solitary tear.
I was like, I taught him everything.
I'm like an angel or something.
A guardian angel.
You are kind of like my guardian angel.
You think so?
Yeah, a little bit.
Yeah, I feel that way.
After you picked me up at LAX, we went to In-N-Out.
Yep.
And there was no parking.
I don't want to admit to a federal crime or anything.
What?
You said, don't worry about it.
And then you whipped out the handicap pass.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you're like, I didn't even get this in America.
It's from Columbia.
Yeah, it's a fake one.
It's a fake one.
I watched Chet eat two three-by-threes.
That's six patties.
No, I didn't.
Yeah, you did.
You have a really sharp memory, dude.
I remember everything we've ever said to each other.
Well, and then we went to your apartment and you said, strap on the table.
And then you said, and I said, what, but you have, why?
And you were like, don't worry about it.
And then you said, wouldn't it be fun?
It was a really sweet thing to say.
Wouldn't it be fun to watch a movie and then make jokes about it?
Yeah.
Which is so lovely.
That is, that's what male friendship is.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
And then I put on the, the Nick Cage dream movie and you, and then we had a
conversation
about how he's actually kind of the best actor.
Oh yeah.
Watch that movie, dream scenario, dream scenario.
And then you fell asleep within three minutes of the movie because you had six
patties in
you.
And then I was sitting in your apartment with him.
You were sleeping and, and then I did my balls in your mouth.
Shut up.
Yeah.
I mean, that's kind of a beautiful day.
It was kind of the best day of my entire life.
It was sweet, dude.
How, what is your necklace of?
It's your name.
Yeah.
And it's what is what in what the Harley Davidson?
Cause it's like, my name is Chet and I like motorcycles.
That's it.
That's exactly right.
Can I wear it?
Yeah.
Thanks brother.
Yeah.
You want to wear it right now?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you remember when we were kids and they, in the, through the wire video,
they put the
Rockefeller chain on, on Kanye and I was like, I'm going to chain you up right
now.
All right.
Thanks, dude.
What do you have a handkerchief in your back pocket?
I do.
Do you know about the, the handkerchief thing?
What is that?
It was like a code in the gay community back in the, like, if you had a yellow
one, you
like to be peed.
Look it up.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's real.
Yellow, red was a rough trade.
Rough trade.
But this is a bandana, not a handkerchief.
No, it was a bandana.
Yeah.
So what's black?
Oh, you like black guys.
What is black?
Shit play.
Shit play?
Yeah.
Should be brown, no?
Jesus.
I'm not, I didn't do it, Chad.
I'm just telling you, if you're in the wrong neighborhood.
You're pretty unhinged today.
I'm just excited to see you.
What?
We don't get to see each other that often, but like, I get to watch you sleep
at your Jewish
apartment or do shows with you because we can't hang out without people
watching on the
internet.
You know what you would be good at, dude?
What?
TED Talks.
Really?
Yeah.
Honestly, I'm really not a smart guy at all.
I don't know.
You know the history of Jewish immigrants in the early 19...
Yeah, what a stretch, dude.
Hundreds.
I'm not telling you about the history of fucking Chinese.
You know the history of the Revolutionary War.
Well, yeah, it's wars.
It's sick.
I'm a guy.
I'm a white man.
I should know about military history.
I do love history, dude.
I'm not going to lie.
What's your favorite war?
American war?
Any war.
Any war of all time?
Yeah.
Easy.
It's easy, bro.
Probably Vietnam, dude.
We lost.
I know, but it's so interesting.
It was ass.
Dude, it's because motherfuckers were like getting high over there, tripping on
acid.
Yeah, I know.
In the middle of the fucking jungle, just...
I wouldn't have done that.
I would have been a regular Jane Fonda.
People were doing heroin and shit.
I would have like...
Can you imagine doing acid in a war zone?
Yeah, apocalypse now.
Yeah.
So scary.
Look, if I was over there and I was like, I'm probably going to fucking die.
Yeah.
I would definitely be tripping on acid.
I definitely, before I die, have to get one of those long pipes and do opium.
Like those drawings of Chinese guys in like the 1800s.
I just...
Out of one of these...
You know what would be sick, dude?
Yeah.
Go into an opium den back in the day.
So sick.
I think that's a major loss in civilization that we took was those just fizzling
out.
New York used to be filled with opium dens.
Right.
Like imagine just walking around and you're like, you know what?
I feel like fucking taking a nap for six hours.
Pop in there, a Chinese guy comes, fucking lights you up and you just fucking...
Yeah, you just take a nap.
Yeah.
It looked really comfy.
They like the candles everywhere and shit.
So how much your fit costs?
Let's go to the shoes, vans.
Raw, stress for less.
Okay.
The pants.
What are these?
Louie?
Yeah.
No, they're not Louie.
They have a P on that.
They're fluey.
They're fluey?
What's the P for?
It's for perseverance.
No, what's the brand, bro?
Stop, stop, stop.
I just...
What do you know about perseverance?
I give up.
I give up very easily.
I'm a quitter.
I'm a white flag kind of guy.
What would you do in the war if you were in the war?
Which one?
Hmm.
I'd say World War II.
I wanted...
I would want to be a paratrooper.
Paratrooper.
Yeah.
Like Band of Brothers.
Like Band of Brothers.
Yeah.
Such a good...
101st Airborne.
They were considered like...
In World War II, they didn't really have special forces.
Right.
The paratroopers were considered to be like the most like elite unit of
infantry.
Because there had never been paratroopers before.
Yeah.
That was the first time they had ever been used.
Uh-huh.
So it was either you fucking storm the beaches of Normandy and get fucking shot
at as soon
as you're getting off the boat.
So scary.
Or you jump off a fucking plane in the middle of the night in pitch black and
land behind
enemy lines surrounded by fucking Germans everywhere in every direction.
But you got all your boys landing right next to you and you're just fucking
linking up
and...
Uh-huh.
You know?
It's pretty sick, dude.
Dude, Ross was such a dick at the beginning of that show.
Oh, yeah.
Schwimmer?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ross from Friends, yeah.
Yeah, but then he froze up when they were in a combat situation.
He really killed that role, actually.
He was amazing.
And he looks just like the real dude.
Really?
Yeah.
Lieutenant Sobel.
Hey, R.I.P. Matthew Perry.
Dude, that really did make me sad.
Chandler Bing.
I got sad this week about Rich Homie Kwan.
Yeah, that's fucked up, too.
Lifestyle was the song of when I moved to New York.
It was like playing out of every car.
That's exactly...
Whenever that song comes on, I imagine you turning up.
I'm living life like a beginning.
This is my first time in a discotheque.
This is my first time in a discotheque.
This is my first time.
Would you like to come to our table?
I got a bottle of Absolute.
Can we do something to help Drake out, please?
I mean, it's like your cousin, right?
What girl has ever said, put on Kendrick?
Dude, I'm not...
Drake makes songs for people having a nice time.
I like both of them, bro.
I haven't had a nice time since Drake went away.
I like both of them.
Should we get strippers?
Oh, man.
Is that ping pong thing real?
Only one way to find out.
It was like a big tenant in comedy movies where we got strippers,
and they can make ping pong fly out of their pussy.
Bi