Name: The Adam Friedland Show - Mike Recine - Episode 80
Uploaded: 2024-11-15T21:53:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show - Mike Recine - Episode 80' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show - Mike Recine - Episode 80' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-15. Transcript available.

The Adam Friedland Show - Mike Recine - Episode 80

welcome to the adam friedland show mike rosin is back fan favorite it's good to
be back thanks
for coming mike you're welcome we are reeling from the uh results of this
illegal election
of mr donald it sucks we're not going to get a january 6th no we're about to
get one if kamala
if it was close if she sold it yeah but yeah now we're not even gonna get round
two yeah it would
have been better this time it would have been interesting they know the they
know the like uh
the the floor plan you know right they know where they know where the baby
dungeon is yeah the rape
dungeon you know last time they got confused yeah they were like taking selfies
and stuff and now
they're in guantanamo yeah that's funny they did get to no they didn't and a
lot of them are like
in jail for a while for like yeah just for walking around for that yeah it's
kind of unfair if you
ask farting on pelosi's chair and stuff yeah did they act did someone shit on
pelosi's uh desk for
i don't think that actually yeah i think that was the thing people were people
said and that guy was
awesome though who the guy he like big oh yeah yeah yeah big oh he had a very
like yeah he was very
shrill right don't say that people say that about men and it's it's sexist okay
sorry true
he was a lot like lindy west that's true yeah um what's going on how's everyone
doing i'm good
yeah it's like it's definitely winter now yeah this is pretty this is like it
feels like it's two
o'clock yeah it's like cold all of a sudden yeah yeah it's cold dark and it's
late yeah yeah we went
to starbucks and nick asked the barista if he was schizophrenic no i didn't ask
him why i had his hand
up his apron yeah and i didn't see it he had a gun and so like his chest was
like moving like this
yeah and then his hand came out from the top of the apron and i was like oh i
didn't realize your
fucking hand was in your apron i thought you look like like an alien you know
like the movie alien
and the guy's like okay yeah and like just gave me nothing it's really i hate
it when you try to
connect with people and then it just doesn't that's what i was saying yeah yeah
is that you know do
people act like i mean yeah okay all right sorry for fucking talking to you
that happened to me i was
on the street a couple days ago and this lady was with her dog and the dog had
a little choke collar
and i said oh i need one of those for my dog we started talking about choke
collars
and then uh her husband comes out of the store and uh and then he goes back in
but then he comes out
again we're still talking and i go oh yeah i got and then i turned the husband
i said we were just
talking about dog collars you know i don't want you to beat my ass or anything
and the lady didn't
like it no they didn't yeah they didn't like find it funny i was just making a
joke i said i want
i just gotta beat my everyone hates us what the fuck everyone hates us what
happened we used to be
cool most people we used to be the coolest guys we used to be the coolest guys
and me never but
yeah no you're all my interactions you're popular interactions are always like
that that's never
been you know if i try to just uh you're used to it like if i'm in line at the
grocery store
yeah it's not happening right because somebody like uh like annie letterman's
good at that
the little interactions well she's a woman yeah they like talking to them
better than us i think
it's if you're if you're a man the only thing you can say to a stranger is
working hard or hardly
working right right if you say anything outside of that you're a rapist yeah
yeah i know yeah but my
grandfather's really good at that for some reason just because he's old that's
basically like he's
old yeah yeah because he was very good at getting strangers to just kind of
open up
talk to them i thought that about my grandfather but then i realized that he
was just kind of being
sexually inappropriate oh was he yeah i used to think he was like so smooth
with girls uh-huh when
i was like 12 and then as an adult i'm like oh he was just a weird old man oh
yeah i think my other
grandfather was like that a little bit but my other my mom's dad who's still
alive actually about to turn
98 mazel tov yeah he's uh he was very charismatic and just made friends like
everywhere but you're right
he was i only knew him as an old man so my grandfather we were at an applebee's
once
yeah and uh the waitress was like what's wrong sir right this is the whole
episode yeah just bad
social interactions that we had it's fine yeah and uh she said what's wrong sir
he said uh uh i'm going
i have an operation tomorrow uh-huh at the hospital she said is everything all
right and he said i have
angelitis uh-huh and she got really confused but on her name tag it said angela
and uh he said i have
angelitis he kept repeating it yeah this poor woman was just very confused but
he made i'm confused he
had the disease of wanting to fuck a lady named angela that he was uh that he
had to have i don't know
what what the operation would be having his penis cut off yeah yeah and he was
like i still got it
yeah yeah and i was like wow this guy's the king yeah yeah it's weird watching
like older family try to
get pussy sometimes like we went to like a diner me and my dad and my uncle and
it was called like the
wisdom diner and so we're like paying the bill and there's the um cashier and
my uncle's like so mike
do you feel like you're any more wise today after eating here and uh it's just
like he was trying to
like make a joke to the cashier yeah they probably loved that yeah i'm just
like oh it's funny watching
my uncle try to you know it's disgusting what if she was like i'll suck your
dick right now yeah
i'm off i'm off yeah she just takes about i know you're with your behind you
but we could do it in the car takes him behind them he makes you wait outside
the car
like tiger woods's dad oh man yeah yeah but uh yeah i had that today i had an
audition uh-huh i was
telling you guys before but they were like can you stand back and do a stand up
and do a full body
slate and i was at my desk i said well i'm not wearing pants of course yeah and
they were like
well shorts are okay but like really you should be wearing pants yeah and i was
like oh i'm just
goofing yeah and i think that i sexually harassed a casting agent in hollywood
and i think i pretty
much killed my acting career and she was that and not being on the other side
of this that and not
being able to act yeah yeah yeah yeah i auditioned for abbott elementary a
couple weeks ago but you know
to play janelle james to play yeah to take her part yeah to be her stand-in are
you auditioning for
that one nick abbott elementary no the one that i did today uh i i don't know
it's probably the same
one i don't i don't want to commit don't do the pants joke that's all i'm
saying yeah yeah they didn't
like the pants joke i think i'm don't say your husband's gonna be honestly
actually on second
thought do the pants joke and see see if they're used to it yeah and they go oh
i get it and they
ah connection yeah yeah someone actually that's a good they're like this is the
first time to make
the pants joke again and they're like maybe she'll get it they're like this is
that this is the first
time i'm hearing it one of the fun this guy's hilarious she and then she goes
oh that is that
was a funny joke it's something about the delivery in this guy yeah um yeah it
was i felt bad i had to
tell the agents flustered assistant that i potentially said offend the hollywood
casting agent i've done
some pretty embarrassing things in casting rooms you put the dress what's that
you put on the dress
uh yeah yeah that's what cat williams i took an audition class once and it just
like you know it's
funny taught by you in finance of course yeah you gotta get on the casting
couch he used to book a
ton of commercials did he he did yeah it wouldn't be surprised yeah he's very
cat he did one for jet
blue or something i remember yeah he that was a whole campaign yeah yeah and he
would always take the
non-union like lump sum and just like blow the residuals yeah yeah that's good
he would have
got like four times as much money yeah yeah just in a slower way yeah yeah he's
very castable very funny
guy yeah he's very uh if you're looking for that you know you're gonna if that's
what you're looking
for you're gonna go with it disgusting yeah disgusting man yeah um um but yeah
so congratulations to mike
your candidate won for the election thanks yeah yeah you've been hammering israel
just to do a little
do a little uh what is it like uh psyop against the democratic party who's
always against it from the
get-go yeah that's sort of i'm playing a long game they're against this thing
from the get-go well
that's how i can start doing denial i you start off by being like a palestine
yeah yeah yeah yeah the
long con yeah yeah you know it's i gotta tell you it's funny because we're
talking about i guess we're
talking about little failures and stuff you know and it's like i did spend a
good amount of time last
year talking talking about this stuff and but then it's like what did it it
didn't really do much for
me either way you know what you expected to no i didn't expect it to i'm just
saying like
you thought fallon would be like i saw that tweet i i wouldn't do anything
differently i wouldn't do
anything differently but i think i burned some bridges for sure okay yeah like
to perform in israel you
mean um no i guess just with other people oh yeah well fuck them yeah yeah yeah
my kid got his uh purple
belt in karate okay pretty good it's a high what do you have to learn for that
i don't know they do a
belt test every couple months there's no i don't have any belts so i can kick
your kid's ass no problem
you think i mean i wouldn't yeah it wouldn't feel good yeah but to prove karate
wrong maybe maybe
potentially yeah but you would need stuff you would need somebody like in your
wait we should find like a three-year-old version of you oh my god yeah i would
have got sat on yeah
yeah i only fought like uh smaller than me it seems like kind of because the
the purple belt is the
purple belt you know what i mean and it seems sort of dumb to be giving those
to children why i don't
think you should really be able to earn any belt until you're a fully grown
adult yeah but you gotta
incentivize them to keep coming back i think they come up with different types
of belts yeah well it's
like it's like uh it's not a full purple belt it's a purple belt with a stripe
on it oh so it's like the
kids version of the purple belt oh okay well then yeah problem solved yeah and
you should have said that
yeah he said he had the baby one he had the baby he got his baby he got his
baby purple belt you're
acting like it's impressive yeah i know i am nick and i could do that with our
eyes closed yeah you
probably could yeah does he have to fight other kids um no really there's not
much fighting in karate
i don't it's just honor well it's like choreography and then at the end there's
like you punch boards
and then they give you a belt yeah yeah and they let you do it like three or
four times yeah
that's when i was in karate sometimes i remember not being able to break the
board on the first try
who's your sensei his name was uh sabu nim but i did taekwondo there's a white
guy yeah yeah
it's a white guy yeah in new jersey i did taekwondo in new jersey oh that's the
kicking one that's
the korean one korean one yeah it's blocks that early like internet gore video
it was in virginia
there was like a dojo but it was like a redneck karate dojo it was owned by
some ex-marine and
they invited in this like mentally disabled black guy who was like i'm a a
grand master and i know
i know i was basically the fucking michael jackson impersonator they brought
him in and then he like
had one of his black they've recorded it on video to show how powerful their
karate is and the guy just
like you know he's not even doing