Name: The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Uploaded: 2025-01-25T17:00:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-25. Transcript available.

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90

hello and welcome to the adam free lunch show podcast special guest this week ari
shafir
and mullen and mullen yeah oh yeah do we want to we want to address this is my
this is my final
episode this is my final episode what is going on with this podcast well i mean
we've been trying
last time i was here you weren't here we've been trying to stop podcasting for
about uh 47 years
now yeah um no i'm doing it i'm just gonna you're stopping i'm hitting the road
yeah and by that i
mean going home like in a jack kerouac way yeah you're just done with it but he
hits the road
yeah wait wait wait there's road it's called hitting the road the truth is this
is that the
the talk show we are going to be in the next two months converting it to a new
model where it's
going to be a once a week show so the the original objective instead of once
every six months or
when someone's not in london someone else is fucking not angry yeah yeah
exactly what was that an
expression was i in london yeah i think last time i was here no no i was uh
where no i was seeing my
no i was taking my father to the hospital i remember i saw you at the stand you're
like how was london i
was like i was taking my father to the hospital his dad has diarrhea my dad had
diarrhea his dad
i didn't take my dad to a specialist in scottsdale it didn't go well it's
pretty severe explosive
diarrhea which is actually it's a psychological diagnosis the truth yeah it's a
lot of people
don't know that it's it's a mental it's like asthma it's they're making it up
the body's just
like yeah yeah the doctor said it's psychosomatic does that sound believable
yeah spray shit it's a
walk in the best buy and it'll be like a galaxy note tablet 50 off and just you
know clean up on
aisle three it really escalated after october 7th it's well it's deal related
yeah mostly actually
speaking of my dad new jersey he has a deals he has a bone to pick with you in
new jersey what is
that it's where all the rich syrian jews live oh i thought it was like a real
thing da i thought
it was a show like a reality show like can you believe this let's make a deal
they're just at walmart i waited 20 minutes for my soup to come i just got i
got 45 double a
batteries for 11 hosted by guy fieri i was visiting my my dad and damn that's a
fucking that's a rock
star deal you got
when are we eating shit hold on a second guys he doesn't know what the show is
why am i here
it's where's the food
um yeah what i was visiting my dad in vegas once uh there was like a geriatric
at the supermarket just
holding up the line for like 20 minutes because he had an expired coupon and uh
i've always wanted
to see a really old guy who's also fat and i'm like check out ben and geriatric
that's pretty good
even waiting for you you're like i can't wait any longer i haven't seen it you're
a big fat guy you die at 47
yeah peace per kreischer this coming out in one year yeah yeah he died he died
oh yeah it's coming out
yeah perhaps ever um well i wonder i wonder do you think bird will die soon
yeah okay i don't know
i mean hopefully that body type doesn't see 60 is it gonna be like reagan's
funeral where they drive
him through washington and yeah it'll be two comics just like navy band at the
driver tj fridays around
the valley yeah it'll be like the inauguration but sad yeah all the same people
will be there
millions of people lining up to see his body yeah open those pictures of the
inauguration are crazy
it's like yeah we got everybody here we got fucking joe rogan and jake paul jake
paul and joe rogan
what a combo what theo why is theo at the inauguration yeah he didn't know what
president was
because he told he brought blood to the party is yeah is that like the chairman
of the board
why are all these people there it shouldn't just be dignitaries
it should be an african guy dressed like lieutenant wharf i was a dignitary in
my
brother's my buddy's wedding i married him off to a squirrel it should be a
black guy wearing that
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah lieutenant wharf yeah lieutenant wharf
congratulations mr president thank you wharf thank you wharf i'll never forget
that you believed
in me they said no klingon could be black he's black well they have a black one
they make him in black
um what was i gonna say oh yeah we had the the line was being held up by this
geriatric and
uh he had an expired coupon and he said this document represents a promise from
your firm
to the consumer and like he would not leave the law yeah it represents a
promise that if you get here
december december 27th 2024 we will give you this um wait who said that that
was on the show
they always go straight to like legalese yeah to try to fix their social
problems i have been in
court plenty of times as a defendant for sexual assault i have a brother that's
a lawyer i have a
brother-in-law that's a lawyer it's the family business because they wouldn't
honor a coupon where was
this this was at uh baskin robin supermarket you've got it down to a dollar it's
funny because i'm not
paying it it was a family neighborhood but now all the parents are still there
so now it's an old
person neighborhood it's a weird weird thing to see yeah it's like most of brooklyn
yeah i suppose
to be cool and then it's fucking guys with tattoos pushing strollers like
homosexuals i've been
saying those are young parents yeah he's saying it's like a family neighborhood
where the kids go
off and then they're all living then the kids are in brooklyn with the strollers
yeah yeah the kids
are all exploring exploring assholes uh and complaining about coupons yeah it's
really crazy yeah it has
your dad's problem with me oh yeah he's got beef dude he saw you he's well he
calls me and he
time he hears a comedian with a jewish name so he's like do you know ari shafir
that's so i got the
ari shafir phone call he heard you on a podcast that's great that he listens to
pockets is able
to use the computer and stuff you know what's tv it's how old is he 73. that's
great that he's
able to figure it out well it seems like you're a little bit like you're saying
it in a gracious
way but i can see i can see behind your eyes you're like a little bit like i'm
so happy you're like
another troll coming so happy for your dad to be able to he's like there's a
comedian ari shafir do you
know him and i was like yeah i know ari's a good guy and my dad goes he's like
yes i saw him on a
podcast it was like a it's like like a academic podcast kind of thing oh really
i forget the name
we can call him to squash this whole beef right now let's squash it or let's
start it up a little
more what academic podcast could you have been on this uh geometrics or
something or trigonometry
trigonometry not a math what is it it sounds like math i don't listen to when
it's lewis's
podcast where he misspelled the words
how are you stopping this podcast yeah i'm going on trigonometry this all this
creativity could go
towards some of the best scripts in history i'm the third i'm the third host on
trigonometry
it's i love they have he started a second real ass podcast he just like changed
the name
no there's still real ass podcast there's still real ass but then there's also
doggie doggie
are you sure i think it's just zach gained too much weight for it to be real
ass anymore it's not real
ass it's huge i mean i like i feel like zach's new phase where he's just
dressing like an optical
illusion are too mean to it like he's at the point now where it's like i don't
feel comfortable even
making fun of he's a man with a code i'll say that i guess but when i go when i
go into that studio
and like he's in the he's there's a waiting couch yeah and he's in there and it's
a chair to him it's
a stool he's all the way because he's like you know he's like hey good to see
you yeah you know it's
like where is your like you're at he's his ass begins off i like the seat and
it goes all the way
to the back i like how people like we should talk to him like he knows i tell
this boy talking to
zach is like talking to someone who's working on the fukushima plant behind
that door right
you okay like no yeah right yeah i'm just riding this out yeah my shit is
glowing green yeah
they're like that you ever watch that show chernobyl nah it's good yeah yeah
yeah
some good shows there's a scene where they have to get these like miners these
like russian strip
miners to go in and burrow under the um you know the plant and they either like
shut the water off or
they do something but they tell them they're like look if you go in here you're
going to die
you're going to get radiation sickness and uh so the miners are like you know
they make the like
the head one is scottish everyone has a british accent but he's like he's like
i'll do it i'll do it
you can't stop me from doing it i'm a minor you know so and then for i can't
remember why but they
have to do it completely naked so they go in and they they get the fucking they
shut the water off and
there's this scene of them walking out of the mines like you know in the right
stuff when they're like
towards like they're done with the training it's like this and they're
completely new like this guy
yeah and he's got like a chode and like you can see his penis and he's just
like walking up
there's like he's like we did it and it's it's on it's awesome you're like fuck
yeah dude
why would you have to get naked uh i think it's like because it was so hot down
there
i think it's something like that i've been in the summertime yeah i wear less
clothes but
so what's his issue he said you don't say that about kobe right
he has a family of all of that i thought it was going to be a pro
no no it's it's old reliable it's old reliable it's old faithful yeah once
again well tell your
daddy's not coming back the one that doesn't quit living with no kobe for the
rest of his life and
listen yeah if you get shot for that it'll be like that'll be like the black
world's version of the
united health what was the worst what's the worst threat you received for that
and i'll say this as
like kobe he was a very incredibly special uh person calling me
come on dude are you his body's barely cold his body's super cold and and
breaking down already
okay are you i watched i watched an air disasters episode on the helicopter
crash really what did
they say why did it crash i think the pilot was like he got into a situation
where there was no
visibility and he couldn't really gauge what was going on yeah he said not to
take off and kobe made
them take off no no that's not what happened it's like uh he you're making fun
of the daughter yeah
no he killed his daughter by taking off and the pilot was like do not we cannot
do this the pilot just
didn't want to let kobe down i think is what it was so he flew when he shouldn't
be such a good guy
yeah um wait yeah i'm sure the story said it that way what's the worst threat
you
receive for for in his former helicopter pilot they had interview him on the
air disaster show
and um he's clearly deaf or something he's like go be with a man there is no
way there is no way that
he would ever put him register on the mind and now he am the old mind if you're
no reader right
it's like don't interview this guy let him write it down put a statement on the
screen
picture somebody somebody has read by yeah yeah get a voice over yeah he's like
kobe never told me to
hurry up and then we just like smash cut to him and he's sitting there and kobe's
like hurry the
fuck up this guy's like what dad what was that you gotta fly faster thanks man
thanks kobe
people people took pictures of guns what did they send things to your house
also important
tell me they're going to break up this podcast important to know they succeeded
the kobe helicopter
pilot neither of them were trans navy seals oh yeah i was under the impression
that they both were
because i've never think la helicopter you think that guy well because i really
i can only think of
three helicopter pilots it's the trans the trans