Name: MIA KHALIFA Talks Viral Fame, Fatwa, Being the GOAT
Uploaded: 2025-10-01T22:00:52.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'MIA KHALIFA Talks Viral Fame, Fatwa, Being the GOAT' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'MIA KHALIFA Talks Viral Fame, Fatwa, Being the GOAT' from The Adam Friedland Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-01. Transcript available.

MIA KHALIFA Talks Viral Fame, Fatwa, Being the GOAT

- Do you have autism?
- Yeah.
- Everyone's a little autistic.
- It's a spectrum.
- No, I don't think I am at all.
- It's like no one's fully straight.
- No, I don't think I'm autistic at all.
- Oh!
- I cry everything.
- Hmm.
- Yeah, yeah.
It used to be called Rude.
- I'm dead.
- Rude.
- Remember Rude?
- Do you remember Rude?
They rebranded.
- Remember Rude, yeah.
- Yeah.
- They changed their logo, like Jaguar.
- Now someone could be a f***ing dickhead
and they're like, "He's just, he's so autistic."
And I'm like, "I don't care, what am I,
I need to read the DSM too?
I'm not a doctor."
- Welcome to The Adam Friedland Show, guys.
It's Adam Friedland.
First off, as always, I want to thank our channel members
for supporting the show.
If you'd like to become a member,
you can click the link in the description.
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Also, I'd like to note that our merch store
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Go to adamfriedland.show to check out our stuff.
We have t-shirts, hats.
They sold out real quick last time.
Get them before they're gone again.
My guest this week is media personality and influencer,
Mia Khalifa.
Mia, or Sarah as I know her and all of her friends,
that's what her friends call her,
first came to prominence in 2015 for her brief stint
as an adult film actress.
She quickly became a global phenomenon,
earning her the title of most searched adult actress
for both 2016 and 2018.
And now, of course, this is the part
where I do some hilarious bit
before I show you my interview.
But let me be clear, I'm not gonna go there this week.
Folks, as my star rises,
the target on my back gets bigger and bigger
and the margin for error gets smaller and smaller.
Piers Morgan is watching everything I do.
The man is relentless and dogged
and I have to be mindful and careful
not to lose everything that I've worked so hard for.
I'm fairly certain also that I think I'm being followed.
I don't know if it's Piers.
I think it could be a member of my family.
Anyway, guys, this might be tough for some of you,
but it's become clear that my days
of being an immature baby for an adoring audience are over.
I'm an adult now.
I have to be.
It's true, my guest this week was a beautiful woman,
but as you'll see, I treated her like I would any other guest,
be it hot guy, ugly woman, or hip-hop and R&B legend.
So if you've come here for nasty jokes, you can turn off now.
This is an adult show for an adult audience.
I'm no longer making baby stuff for babies.
I'm in the adult industry now.
So pour yourself a glass of wine, maybe sit back on a piece of white furniture
and enjoy.
My thought-provoking conversation with Mia Khalifa.
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Ladies and gentlemen, cultural icon, media personality, Mia Khalifa, everyone.
Big, big clap.
Hi.
Hi.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for having me.
Your tissues are there.
Thank you.
She brought tissues because of my boogers during Sarah Jessica Park.
It's so embarrassing.
No, it's not.
Do you have a change of diaper?
Okay.
Why did we start this way?
Thank you for coming on.
I guess like, you know, how do we start this thing?
Like, where do we start?
We start at the beginning, right?
We start at the beginning, yeah.
Okay.
10,000 BC.
No, no.
I want to start, what is the date today, of course?
Oh, happy 9/11.
It's not, just stop it with your edge lord jokes, okay?
Oh my God.
Okay, we're not going to start that way.
But you moved to America shortly after or shortly before 9/11?
Shortly before.
Okay.
You are from Lebanon, right?
You're born there and you moved here, what?
You were 11 or something?
I was 8, 2001.
8, 2001.
Yeah.
And you moved to the greater DC area, right?
Yeah.
And you moved during a time of like, Islamophobia, anti-Arab.
Right before.
Oh, I guess it was always there, but yeah.
I think it escalated after 9/11.
Yeah.
And now it's kind of back, right?
Yeah.
It's kind of vintage.
Cyclical.
Islamophobia is cyclical.
It feels like a little Toby Keith, like kind of post 9/11 moment we're having
again
right now.
Yeah.
We'll stick a boot in your ass.
We'll stick a boot in your ass.
Kind of a good song.
It's so fucking good.
You know, I love this bar also.
Great song.
Yeah.
What else?
I love country music, actually.
I do too.
Yeah.
What's your favorite?
Florida Georgia Line.
You like that one?
No.
I like...
Baby, you're a star.
You make me want to roll my window down.
You know that one?
It's actually good.
You want to harmonize with me?
Do that again?
No.
Zach.
He's teaching me harmony right now.
Zach the intern.
How to harmonize?
Yeah, yeah.
He's actually...
I shouldn't say it on the camera.
Should I?
I'm...
Just turn away from the camera.
Okay.
We do Friday afternoon choir.
Me and the four employees every week.
That's so beautiful.
All of you just stay...
Is there pedestals?
Do you...
I grew up Jewish, so...
I am Jewish, but I always wanted to do Christian songs.
Oh, that's so beautiful.
Amazing Grace.
It seems so beautiful if you get to do that at church.
So now I make...
Like a virgin is also a beautiful...
I don't think that's from church.
I do.
Is it?
Yeah.
I think it's about...
It's about Mary.
Like a virgin touched for the very first time?
Yeah.
I think it's about getting your pussy tucked.
No, her being touched by the power of God.
Like a prayer?
Is that a...
Is that a...
That's about a...
Blowjobs?
Is that...
Is that Madonna?
Yeah.
My mom...
My mom used to play that in the car and I used to ask her what it was about and
she said,
"Stop talking."
About...
You moved to Montgomery County, Maryland.
Yes.
Right?
Gaithersburg.
Gaithersburg, Maryland.
Mia...
Sarah Mia is from the same town as Mr. Nick Mullen.
Give it up for him, everyone.
My former partner.
Where'd he go to high school?
I don't know.
You don't have that off the top of your head?
I think he went to...
You're a bad friend.
Community...
Community college.
I think he...
He just skipped high school?
Went straight from middle school to community college?
I think he GED...
Got an early GED and then community college.
Oh, good for him.
I think he was a bad boy.
But...
I went to military boarding school.
Yeah, yeah.
So what led you to that?
You were a bad kid?
Smoking reefer.
Really?
Yeah.
Your parents caught you smoking trees?
Mine did too.
Yeah.
But they'd never send me to the army.
What army did they send you to?
Isis?
No, literally it was the feeding school for West Point.
It was an army.
It was like army, not navy.
Were you good at the army when you went there?
It was so good.
Really?
It was so good.
I loved it so much.
What did you have to do?
Like make your bed and stuff?
Yeah, and I still can do hospital corners.
You could bounce a quarter off of.
Really?
Yeah.
You make your bed every day now because of the army?
No.
I like getting back into a bed with like crumpled sheets.
It's cozy.
So you went for the rest of high school to military school.
So you didn't really have like a typical high school experience?
I feel like I had more of a normal experience there than at public school.
Did you speak English before you moved to the States or you only spoke Arabic?
No, I spoke French and Arabic.
French and Arabic.
Yeah, because I went to a French school.
So what moment did you feel like you'd integrated into American culture like
after you moved
to your elementary school?
I'll let you know.
You still don't feel like it?
No.
I mean you have an American accent.
Yeah.
You like sports.
And Arab people see me as American, not Arab.
Yeah.
Right.
For me, like my parents come from a different country and like I also like, you
like sports
and films, right?
Yeah.
And like that was one way that I kind of learned American culture.
Me too.
Right?
That's why I embedded myself so deeply into sports.
I felt like I was, like I, it gave me something to talk to the kids about at
school
the next day.
Yeah.
So I very much obsessed over football and basketball and that's how I kind of
found my little
friend groups.
Yeah.
You've advocated publicly to change the name back to Redskins.
What?
No.
No.
Is that true?
No.
I hope not.
You said I want it to be bullets and Redskins again.
Okay.
Bullets?
Bullets we can talk about.
That's on the table.
You played lacrosse as well?
That's very mid-Atlantic, right?
It's very white.
Did you put bitches on the deck when you were playing?
No, I did not.
I actually got a concussion and now there's a little hole in my head.
You want to feel it?
Yeah.
I guess so.
Oh, God.
That's disgusting.
You want to feel something disgusting on my head?
Here.
What is that?
It's fucked up, no?
Are you okay?
I've just had it my whole life.
It's like a massive disgusting mole.
Oh.
Yeah.
That's why if I go bald, I would kill myself.
Oh yeah, I can't go bald either.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can't go bald as well.
No.
Yeah.
That's my biggest fear actually.
I had a dream the other night that I woke up bald.
Oh my God.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was like, what do I do?
Get a wig!
I think I would go rug.
Fuck yeah.
I would go turkey.
What does that mean?
Oh, to turkey?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Have you been there before for a procedure?
No.
I do all of mine in LA.
What procedures have you had?
You've had your schnapps?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Got my implants.
I have breast implants.
What else have I done?
I mean, other than like the little injectables here and there.
I'm thinking about getting a BBL myself, but I would only go to South America
for that.
Got to go to Columbia.
Yeah.
I get a lot of like Instagram reels for...
BBL promotion?
For like...
I don't know why it's on my Instagram, but it's like...
No, no.
For hair replacement and Columbia dress.
You have great hair though.
I know.
Thank God.
I saw...
I went through your Letterboxd.
Oh, God.
And I was actually upset by one of them.
Which one?
Harry Met Sally.
Oh, wait.
What did I say about that one?
You gave it three stars.
Yeah, it's a three star.
It's a three...
Okay, but a three star and a like is different than just a three star.
What are you talking about?
A three star and a like.
There's a difference.
It's very nuanced.
You really...
No.
It's just...
It's one of the worst movies.
It's...
No.
The reason why...
It's a very upsetting movie to me.
Why?
Because he doesn't deserve her.
Why doesn't he deserve her?
Because his face looks like gnocchi.
Every joke he's telling, she's laughing at and it's not funny.
He's like doing like, hello mammy.
And she's so gorgeous and she's like, ha ha ha ha.
I'm like, that's not funny.
He's being disgusted.
Isn't that Nancy Meyers' fault?
That's a...
That's a fault in the script.
I just don't like him.
And then sometimes I think like, when I have 