Name: An Inbred Family in West Virginia | Jordan Jensen on The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
Uploaded: 2023-01-02T20:44:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'An Inbred Family in West Virginia | Jordan Jensen on The Adam Friedland Show Podcast' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'An Inbred Family in West Virginia | Jordan Jensen on The Adam Friedland Show Podcast' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-02. Transcript available.

What if somebody was like I'm in love with this person and we found out that
there were cousins?
The cousin thing is fine. First of all, that's the story of Europe.
We wouldn't be speaking this language right now if it weren't for people
fucking their cousins.
I'm convinced that there's some sort of incest going on in Missouri.
That's the thing that these people used to disparage West Virginia or Arkansas
by saying that they're like cousin fucking states and it's like oh, I'm sorry
that they carry on the tradition of the continent.
What am I supposed to laugh at them next for listening to Mozart?
You can't do that. That's like if I went out downstairs to that black dude who's
in the front hallway put a chain around his neck and I was like what?
What? You want me to stop doing what we've been doing?
Why? Because it's slavery?
Yeah, because you're saying that because it happened long, long ago when people
couldn't travel to a different family's house, that it's okay for hicks.
No, they would arrange it. They would have wars over it. I mean all the royal
houses were based on cousin fucking.
What do you mean?
That's what would maintain the order in the continent forever is they would
arrange marriages between cousins.
Oh, I see. You're saying that something that is so repugnant now was something
that was like a mark of...
Yeah.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Did you have... but the...
I forget the document. The guy who does this. I can't even believe it's his job.
He just goes and interviews fucked up people.
Mm-hmm.
But he went to like an incest house, like a really hick one, and it is the most
fucked up shit I've ever seen.
I mean, it's a whole family. One of the guys is so inbred that he just can only
mimic the dog. Like every time the dog barks, he barks.
It's crazy. And by the end of the episode, he like talks a little bit, but then
the more that the guy probes, the more he starts turning into a dog.
Mm-hmm.
It's really fucked up.
And he's a product of incest?
Oh, yeah. They all are.
What's the name of the...
Their eyes are like hanging out of their heads.
It's a book and it's a film, Roses in the Attic.
What about the incestuous brother and sister?
I don't know.
Mm-hmm.
I will watch it. That's like my...
Is it? No, Flowers in the Attic. Flowers for Algernon?
There's the Ballad of Jack and Rose or something where dad fucks his kid.
What, from Titanic?
Yeah.
Roses in the Attic. Yeah, it's Roses in the Attic. I'm pretty sure. Flowers in
the Attic.
I always think it's surprising that more brother and sister don't do fucked up
shit.
Once you get to puberty and you just know that dude over there has a dick and
you have a vagina,
how does that not happen more?
It probably does happen more and people don't talk about it and then they just...
Wait, hold on. Is there incest in this? What am I thinking of?
Am I just...
I'm thinking of...
Maybe I'm thinking of the Blood of the Valsungs.
What's that?
It's a short story by Thomas Mann.
Oh, he's great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that has incest in it?
That, yeah. Blood of the Valsungs.
But why do I think...
Why did Flowers in the Attic both enter puberty while the twins are...
Oh, yes, no, sorry.
Kathy and Chris develop a...
So it's about orphan children that live in the Attic.
And a year later, Kathy and Chris have both entered...
You're gonna get, like, horny off this, I know.
Totally.
But a year later, Kathy and Chris have both entered puberty
while the twins are stunted from inadequate nutrition and lack of sunlight.
With no other outlets, Kathy and Chris develop a romantic and sexual attraction
toward each other,
though they do their best to deny their feelings.
The grandmother catches Chris staring at a half-dressed Kathy
and punishes the children by cutting off their food supply for over two weeks.
While the children pray their mother will reappear in time to save them.
On the verge of starvation, Kathy and Chris decide to escape with the twins.
They'll find help.
But before they go through the plan, the grandmother begins to bring food again,
including a rare treat of powdered sugar donuts.
"Constant illness, your past is..."
Oh, here we go.
Yeah, here we go.
"One night, Kathy discovers her sleeping stepfather and kisses him.
When Chris learns of the kiss, he rapes Kathy in a fit of jealousy and rage."
So that's like, you know, that's right up your alley.
That's great.
It's rape and incest?
Yeah.
What's it called?
"Flowers in the Attic."
Yeah.
I'm gonna be watching that with my flower in my attic.
Tell you what.
Damn.
Rape with a...
I mean, that's ideal.
Yeah.
That's everything you want.
Just having to read that, I feel like I'm gonna have a fucking stroke.
Just because you had to read?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I keep...
I'm getting like hot flashes or something.