Name: Monologue: Jeremy Renner, Biden Classifieds and The News | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2023-02-02T20:15:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Monologue: Jeremy Renner, Biden Classifieds and The News | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Monologue: Jeremy Renner, Biden Classifieds and The News | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-02. Transcript available.

You missed me? You missed us?
Thank you. Thank you.
You guys are amazing. Thank you so much.
Hello and welcome to the Adam Friedland Show.
I'm your host Adam Friedland and last night was amazing.
You know who you are. It was incredible.
I've never shared my body like that with anyone else before.
You made me feel like Marilyn Monroe.
We have a big show for you tonight.
We have Independent Spirit Award winning actor Simon Rex.
But before that, let's do the news.
He's excited about the news.
Prince Harry admitted in his memoir that he killed 25 people in Afghanistan.
And Prince Andrew admitted he killed 25 year olds in the Caribbean.
That's a banger.
Classified documents from the Obama era have been found in Joe Biden's garage
in Delaware,
which is the biggest secret that has been kept in a garage since I sucked off
my friend in third grade.
He was an adult actually. I was in third grade.
We were still friends.
He was like a cool adult.
A woke MLK sculpture in Boston has offended black residents with many saying it
resembles a penis.
Many residents are calling for the statue to be torn down, which will be
difficult considering the statue already has a 450 pound white girlfriend that
is living within the park.
That's pretty funny.
President Biden forgot Martin Luther King's granddaughter's name while singing
happy birthday to her.
Many Republicans are outraged saying, "How dare you disrespect what's her name
like that?"
At least he didn't forget to sniff her hair though.
It's true.
It's true.
It's the smell.
A man wearing a Jesus saves t-shirt was kicked out of the Mall of America
recently.
Personally, I think if anyone's getting kicked out of the Mall of America, it
should be the guy wearing the Mall of America sucks t-shirt.
That's good.
A Texas man has admitted to decapitating his illegal immigrant newlywed wife.
It seems like the one border she couldn't cross was fucking his best friend.
Geez.
A sad story.
Someone projected a swastik on the CSX freight train company headquarters in
Jacksonville, Florida during a football game this weekend.
I don't get what the big fuss is about.
Do we want the trains to run on time?
Okay.
Okay.
Kevin Spacey, we all know him, has won a lifetime achievement award in Italy.
The Italians presented him with the award after finding out he was a rapist.
But it was taken away from him after they realized he prefers boys.
Oh.
It's their culture.
For the second time in a month, the Colorado Library has closed to clean up
meth contamination.
Residents are calling it Breaking Bad meets the library.
That's a pretty tight joke.
Robbie Knievel, son of famous daredevil Evil Knievel, has passed away.
His doctors say he passed away after attempting to jump his motorcycle over the
vaccine.
I guess he didn't make it all the way over.
They killed him.
They murdered him.
A female Tennessee police officer has been fired for having sex with fellow
officers
on the job, proving once and for all that not all cops are bastards.
Some are just whores, actually.
I didn't know that.
I didn't know they had sluts on the force.
Turn in your gun and your pussy, right?
Turn in...
Alright.
Controversial rapper Kanye West got married.
Many are remarking on his new wife's resemblance to Kim Kardashian.
It's like the old saying goes, if you can't have the one you want, pay for some
Italian lady's
plastic surgery until she resembles her.
That is an old saying.
From the old country.
Jeremy Renner is still in the hospital after being run over by his own snow plow.
Sources close to the actor say that he is now in the ICU and is experiencing
excruciating pain
and that he might have to have his penis removed.
It's very sad.
Jeremy Renner might lose his penis.
They announced that.
The hospital announced that.
President Biden mispronounced Vice President Kamala Harris's name at a White
House event,
infuriating the 1% of the population that I actually voted for.
I think it was less than one.
I think it was way less than one.
I think it was three people.
The Canadian woman is suing a concert venue for over-serving her after she
crashed her
car while drunk driving and causing over $10 million in property damage.
Which, when converted to US currency, is the cost of three hardcover books.
Anyway, guys, we've got a great show for you tonight.
Simon Rex is here.
Who's excited about that?
Stay tuned.
We'll be right back.