Name: Monologue: Who blew up the Nordstream Pipeline? | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2023-02-21T20:30:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Monologue: Who blew up the Nordstream Pipeline? | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Monologue: Who blew up the Nordstream Pipeline? | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-21. Transcript available.

Hello. Hello. Hello, welcome. Hello, welcome. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a
serious episode.
We're going to tackle some serious issues. It's a very special episode of the
Adam Friedland
Show, and I'm not going to ruin the surprise. I think you guys are going to
really like it.
But before we can get down to brass tacks, let's do the news.
A bombshell report by the investigative journalist Seymour Hirsch has been
published on the website
Substack, alleging that the Biden administration is in fact behind the sabotage
of the Nord Stream
2 pipeline. The Biden administration responded by denying the accusation,
saying that the
only pipes the president has destroyed are the ones that his son Hunter uses to
smoke drugs
out of. If the report is accurate, this means that the United States committed
both an act
of war against Russia and an act of terrorism towards Germany, who is a NATO
ally, of course.
If it's not true, however, it means the United States is good and has never
done anything
bad. The most shocking thing, however, is the mainstream media's rush to label
Hirsch a fraud
and a conspiracy theorist. This is, of course, a man that uncovered the My Lai
Massacre, a
thing that I have no personal knowledge of, but I can only imagine it involves
Thai food and
a lot of diarrhea. He won a Pulitzer Prize, and you know what that means. She pule
on my
it until I surprise. To call the man who broke the story of Abu Ghraib a
conspiracy theorist is
an assault on the practice of investigative journalism not seen since Buzz Aldrin
punched that guy in the
face for saying that the moon landing was faked. And on top of that, there's an
unexplored element
of anti-Semitism here. As you can tell by his allergic sounding name and his
love of tattling,
Seymour Hersh is a fellow Jew. And I can't help but feel that if his name was
Seymour Johnson,
we'd be hearing a different story. A story about a man who was bullied to death
in middle school.
A Christian reporter would have been met with credibility that extends beyond
his accolades.
And to call Seymour Hersh a liar, in fact to call any Jewish person a liar,
is a level of anti-Semitism I personally have not seen since Wegmans accused me
of printing my own
coupons. I'm not informed enough to say for sure whether or not the United
States blew up the pipeline.
In fact, I'm not informed enough to say what a pipeline is. But to me, it makes
me think of the
line on the bottom of my penis. What the hell is that? Why is it there? Was I
born with some sort
of weird ambiguous genitalia and the doctors had to do some kind of crazy
surgery on me that my parents
never told me about? But if the United States didn't blow up the Nord Stream
pipeline, the question
remains who did? And why? I'd like to posit a guess. It killed itself after
seeing a picture of the actor
Josh Gad. I tell you, there's one Seymour I can't stand. And that's when I have
to see more pictures
of Josh Gad smiling in a way that makes me feel like a pedophile is stuffing
candy into my eyes.
I'm Adam Friedland and this was The News. All right, ladies and gentlemen, we'll
be right back.
Very special episode. I think you guys are going to really like it. Thanks a
lot.
We'll be right back.