Name: Breaking: Hasan Piker Will Be A Guest on TAFS | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2023-03-09T20:34:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Breaking: Hasan Piker Will Be A Guest on TAFS | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Breaking: Hasan Piker Will Be A Guest on TAFS | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-09. Transcript available.

You gave me the psychopath test, didn't you?
What is that?
Do they have a test?
That seems weird that you can just have a test for that.
Yeah, I think it is.
And then what happens after that?
Why would you take that test?
You just find out you're a psychopath?
I think that the psychiatrist does it to you when you're at Arkham.
But being a psychopath and not turning into, like, fucking Jeffrey Dahmer,
that's like being over seven feet tall, but you're not in the NBA.
Yeah, you're a great guy.
What?
We just got a big response to a DM.
What do you mean we got a big response?
A guy that we want for the show.
Are we going to fuck Dua Lipa?
Is that what's going to happen?
Should I say it on the show so he has to do it?
Here, just wait.
We got live mics on.
Let me just show it to me.
Let's see.
Oh, yes.
Amazing.
Should we say it to the audience so it has to happen?
Yes.
Yeah.
So you say it.
It's your show.
Folks, our hero, Hassan Piker,
Hassan Piker.
Will be on the show.
Will be on the show.
He's agreed to it.
Our hero.
He can't walk it back now.
He can't walk it back.
He literally didn't even say he's going to be on the show.
He said, sorry, I was in Japan when you sent me this.
And now he's about to be in Japan.
Should I just say we just announced?
Japan to express.
I'm going to say we just announced on.
Do you think Panda comes from Japan?
Is that where they got the name for the bear?
It's Chinese, dude.
I'm just going to say we just announced on the show.
Yeah.
We announced on the show that he's coming on.
You're, you are coming on.
So now he has no game.
Yeah.
And if he's got the money to fly to Japan, he can certainly come to New York
City.
Should I say that to him as well?
Yeah, you certainly.
Where does he live again?
Billings, Montana?
No, no, no.
He lives in Hollywood.
Oh.
Yeah.
I don't know why I thought he lived in Montana.
Why?
I don't know.
I just thought that.
A lot of influencers moved there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would.
Ranches.
I would.
If I was making fucking $18 million a month on Twitch, I would live at the top
of a fucking
mountain in a castle.
They don't have castles in Japan.
You know, I live in that castle from the movie Entrapment.
Oh.
You remember that?
The one with the lasers where she goes in her ass.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
What the fuck are you doing?
That's when Catherine's here to go.
Joe, why are you doing?
You don't, I know the scene.
You don't have to, she's, first of all, she's not even doing that.
Stop.
She's doing, why?
Do you think it's sus?
It's good.
Do you think it's sus?
It's beyond sus.
I just don't like it.
Oh my God, let's see what Hassan says.
He said, ha, ha, ha.
That means you gotta, you gotta come on the show.
That means you have to come on.
Yeah.
And you're our hero.
Yeah.
We love you.
You gotta, we gotta, we gotta have, we gotta, we're gonna have a little chat
with Hassan.
And figure out this whole, uh, this whole fucking somehow being in your mid-30s
and making content for 12-year-olds.
Because I can't, we can't figure it out.
We're trying so hard to be you.
We need the Hassan bump.
I want to be you.
A cynical, dumb person would say it's just the politics, but it can't be that.
Because if it was just the politics, then I could show you a million guys that
are just the politics guys, but they're in their 30s and children hate them.
They come off like pedophiles, basically.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, because it's, because he's cute.
Yeah, I think there's more than that.
He's selling sex.
How do we get the kids in the Adam Friedland show van?
Yeah.
That's what we need to understand.
Yeah, what kind of candy are you working with Hassan?
I don't even think kids like candy anymore.
What is he giving out?
Hummus and baby carrots?
I don't know.
I think the children are watching like fucking, like, hentai now.
They're doing, like, hentai SoundCloud rap or something.
But we got to get on that.
Whatever it is, we got to figure it out.
I tell you, you know what I would love right now?
He says, my fan base is more aggro than Matt Healy.
What does that mean?
I don't know.
He's taking shots at Matty Healy now.
No, he did a response video.
No, Hassan is now publicly claiming via these Instagram DMs that
he will kill Matt Healy, given the opportunity,
if I'm understanding that correctly.
No, let's not make accusations.
I'm not making accusations.
I am simply a vessel for what's being DMed.
Breaking news, folks.
Hassan Piker has threatened to kill Matt Healy.
Has issued a fatwa against Matt Healy
and demanded that his audience kill Matt Healy,
given the opportunity.
If it shall, it should come up.
It's just, can you imagine, like, they're siblings.
Is Gene Shallott still alive?
I wish.
Imagine that guy eating pussy.
Imagine that guy just switching between the asshole and the pussy.
Just his mustache dripping.
Just fucking going back and forth,
his hair bobbing up and down,
being like, do you like this?
Just the fucking, just the big mustache and...
I don't remember.
Was he, he liked every movie?
He was one of those guys?
I don't know.
He was like the guy in the taxi cab that likes every movie?
I don't know.
I don't fucking care, dude.
I just really want some, like a pesto side salad.
A side salad of pesto pasta salad side.
Nick literally had that for breakfast.
I was, maybe he's...
I don't know, dude.
I'm a mind reader.
I'm a fucking mind reader.
I have a good recipe for you that's vegan
that would be very easy to make at home.
What is it?
It's like, um...
Is it a recipe or is it just three different ingredients?
No.
It's like a pot...
It's a sauce you can make for pasta with kale.
Okay.
What is it?
You basically blitz kale.
What do you mean blitz kale?
You put it in the blender.
That's called a blitz?
Is it a blend?
It's a process?
You know, the blitz.
No, stop trying to be cute.
What the...
Is that a real...
I'll tell you what's in it.
But what do you mean you blitz kale?
Is that a thing?
Is that like a Food Network thing?
Do they say that?
I think I've been watching a lot of chefs on Instagram
that are British and they say blitz.
It's wild to me.
We've got to ask Hassan about this
when he comes on the show next week.
I can't wait to meet him.
Do you know what this fucking...
I just can't...
What are you going to wear?
I don't know what I'm going to wear.
Me?
I don't know what I'm going to wear.
Oh, I'm going to go down to the costume shop
and I'm going to get something fun.
We've got to wear something that he thinks is cool.
Yeah.
What is it?
I don't know.
Neon sneakers and like brand new socks.
We've got to go to...
That's all.
The only thing I know about Zoomer culture
is they'll never re-wear a pair.
I've never seen a Zoomer like have socks on
that look like they're not fresh out of the fucking package.
Those brand new Nike dry fits.
Every single one of them.
We've got to go to like Palace or Supreme
and get full fits
from what Hassan gets here.
Damn, what was I going to say?
Oh, tell me more about this sauce.
Maya had the recipe.
No, I can't find it if I Google it.
Hmm.