Name: Re-Writing The Movie Tar | Nick Mullen on The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2023-05-07T14:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Re-Writing The Movie Tar | Nick Mullen on The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Re-Writing The Movie Tar | Nick Mullen on The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-07. Transcript available.

I'm waiting on the sequel to Tar.
Feather.
Re-Tar.
Dave said that's funny.
I was going to go see it in 3D.
Did you see Tar?
I did.
I turned it off after about 10 minutes.
Really?
I loved it.
Yeah.
It was so good.
I thought it was incredibly boring.
You didn't know where it was going.
I didn't care.
It was boring.
Where do you think it was going?
I don't care.
It went nowhere for 30 minutes.
What's your guess?
I don't care.
What do you remember of it?
There's a lady that loves fucking conducting music and she doesn't shut the
fuck up about it.
No, that's how they set it up, though.
That's how they set it up.
Some bitch talking about the fucking piano.
That's how they set it up, but it makes where it goes better, right?
Because she's waxing.
Remember that scene where she's in the fucking coffee shop deciding to fire
that guy or get
rid of the guy's first chair or something, and she's talking with the other old
guy,
and they're both just talking about fucking classical music?
No, thank you, dude.
No.
Oh, yeah, with the other old guy, yeah.
Yeah.
That shit would be fine if it was like Ford versus Ferrari.
But you know what it's about.
No problem.
You know what it's about.
Yeah, she's played the American team and is an Italian.
No.
Yeah, she has a competition to go to the Olympics of classical music.
No, it's not Ford versus Ferrari.
Okay.
It's about like a wine scene, but if it was a woman, right?
But she like sells everything as like, everyone wants to celebrate her because
she's like a,
like ground, you know, she's groundbreaking.
But then it turns out that she's been grooming all these young women.
Yeah.
And then disposing of them.
Look, that's fine.
But let's say it's just, you bring that movie to me.
Yeah.
I read it.
I'm a studio executive.
I say, this is great.
Female Weinstein, brilliant.
Let's, you know, we've had a little too much of this Me Too shit.
Let's fucking put it back on them.
How about, maybe it's the, y'all be cunts also.
Yeah, but what about y'all?
Yeah, yeah.
I would just, one note, let's lose all the classical music stuff.
She's a race car driver.
Okay.
She designs the race car.
Danica Patrick.
Yes.
Danica Patrick.
We get her for the movie.
Go, Dad.
We go, Danica, how would you like to play rapist Harvey Weinstein?
But it's you, your name, you're a rapist, and you're a race car driver, and you're
raping
women, and the cops can't get you because you drive, you can flee the scene of
the crime
before they can catch up to you.
And she, but she has a wife.
Danica Patrick.
Danica Patrick.
So does Tar.
That she loves.
Danica Patrick has a wife, and then Russian gangsters kill her wife and her dog,
so she
comes out of retirement.
And, what?
Nothing.
Continue.
Excuse me?
Excuse me?
Excuse me?
No.
I said, ennui.
Ennui.
Ennui.
Yeah.
Okay.
That word.
All right.
Just to be clear, I just thought maybe you were saying.
No, I didn't say.
I said ennui.
You were comparing this original idea to something that maybe implying that.
No.
I don't know.
No.
We break ground here.
Okay.
Keep going.
So, Russians kill her lesbian wife.
Okay.
Don't ever do that again.
Notes?
Notes, yeah.
Okay.
Tar has power.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
So, Danica Patrick is just one racer.
How could she abuse her power?
She's one of many.
Tar has ascended in her field.
Because she's played by The Rock.
I thought, who, the wife?
Yeah, we do motion capture.
Okay.
With Dwayne, The Rock Johnson.
Mm-hmm.
We put the little, we get his body.
We put Danica Patrick's.
His muscles.
Yeah.
We put Danica Patrick's head on it.
Okay.
And the woman that she is sexually assaulted.
So, how do you do that on like a technical level?
Dave Bautista.
You have a naked man and then a green stocking over his head?
Yeah.
Okay.
So, you have Dwayne.
Okay.
Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
Mm-hmm.
And he's got a, he's green out his face.
I don't have to worry about the tag.
Green his head?
I'm just giving notes here.
Okay.
I want to give you notes.
I'm not going to hold your hand through this process.
Can I tell you the end of Tar?
It's really good.
I'm telling you how to fix your favorite.
Can I tell you the end of Tar?
It's really good.
Sure.
Okay.
So, she's getting all these emails from like a former protege.
Mm-hmm.
And then she, the protege kills herself.
Right?
She's, and then she's fucked.
Right?
Yeah.
And so, she gets fired.
And then you see her flying to Vietnam.
She can fly?
No, in a plane.
Oh, if I had known that, I would have finished the movie.
If they had fucking advertised at the beginning, she's this boring conductor,
but she can fly,
then, but this is the kind of stuff, this is page one stuff.
I shouldn't have to wait until the last act of the movie to find out that she
has special powers.
No, it's not magic.
No, it's not magic.
The movie's not magic.
It's not a magic movie.
All right.
Well, you just said it's a woman that everybody respects, so we're obviously
operating in a fantasy world here.
No, it's not magic.