Name: Top 5 Women with Nick Mullen | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2023-05-08T14:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Top 5 Women with Nick Mullen | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Top 5 Women with Nick Mullen | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-08. Transcript available.

On Earth, we'll say it quiet because I don't want them in here.
What woman do you respect the most?
What woman do I respect the most?
Yeah, on this planet.
I'd say Oprah, maybe.
The most?
Yeah.
No, no, no.
Oprah's pretty high up there.
Think about it.
Yeah.
Think about every single woman.
Uh-huh.
You respect her the most?
Yeah, Oprah.
Or, I don't know, fucking, oh, you know, uh, what's her name?
Catherine Kinney?
Keener?
No.
The bitch that played Mimi Bobeck.
She's the number one?
Number two after Oprah, probably her, yeah.
Let's get a top five for you.
Yeah, top five, all right.
Oprah, Mimi, Bobeck.
Hmm.
I mean, there's not a lot of men I respect either.
I respect children.
They are our future.
They are.
And they're smarter than all of us.
You don't respect children at all.
You're not nice to kids at all.
I'm deferential to children constantly.
No, you never see a kid and you're like, oh, that kid's cute or something.
That's not respect.
It is true.
That is not respect.
Respect is locking eyes with them.
Yeah, yeah.
And saying, okay, what can you do?
Okay, let's get it.
Number three.
Number three.
How about you?
What are your top two?
What's going on here?
No, you'll do five.
I'll do my five.
What's the...
I like it.
It's Charlie Rose.
All right.
Three?
Okay, no, you do...
Okay, top five.
I'm trying to answer this for real.
I guess George Clooney's wife, she's got to be up there.
Amal.
What?
Amal Clooney.
She doesn't work in a mall, dude.
She's like a human rights attorney.
Her name is Amal Clooney.
What?
Her name is...
George Clooney's wife.
You know who I'm talking about.
A-M-A-L.
George Clooney's wife.
The human rights attorney.
George Clooney's wife.
Amal.
She does not work in a mall.
She's a human rights attorney.
Her.
Who else?
Oh, God.
Fuck.
It's a tough question.
I know.
Yeah.
Because I'm...
You're challengers.
Yeah, well, I don't want to just...
I don't want to just name successful women.
You know what I mean?
Because that seems cheap.
No, but you respect them.
I know.
But it's tough.
I don't know.
I don't know if people...
I can just name people that are great actresses.
You know?
Great at what they do.
Yeah, so you respect them.
Well, no.
They're good at something.
You know what I mean?
Who's your favorite...
If there was like...
Who's your favorite girl actress?
Huh?
Who's your favorite female actress?
Favorite female actress?
I don't know.
Probably Meryl Streep.
She's good.
She's good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What about...
What's her name?
A lot of them are good, though.
That chick, Tar.
What's her face?
Cate Blanchett.
Blanchett.
She's good?
Yeah, she's a good actress.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I feel like we're getting off course here.
Okay.
So, four.
Now we're not talking about it.
Number four.
Number four?
Yeah.
Miss Frizzle?
Not a real woman.
Okay.
A lot of people think that she's real.
What?
A lot of people think she's real.
If Miss Frizzle were real, I'd respect Miss Frizzle.
I don't know.
She's kind of very irresponsible of those kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it's easier to go with fictional characters.
She definitely had like a Mary Kay Letourneau, Philly Villalau situation.
What?
Were those words that you just said?
Yeah.
Mary Kay Letourneau was the first major teacher to fuck a kid scandal.
Okay.
Yeah.
And her, she went to jail and the guy waited for her and then they had a family
together.
Yeah.
And his name was Villy Villalau.
Yeah.
Sally Ride.
Is that the astronaut?
She's dead.
Yeah.
But is that the one you were saying?
The challenger?
Who?
Huh?
Is it Sally Ride?
When did I say challenger?
I don't know.
I thought you said that.
No.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
Women I respect.
Oprah.
Oprah.
Oprah's the easy one.
Okay.
That's the free spot on the bingo card.
Okay.
Fine.
Is Oprah.
You get Oprah.
Oh, Julia Child.
Dead.
Top.
Yeah.
But what do you mean?
That's the fucking.
I said on earth.
On earth?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I mean, people have to live their life before you can.
You know what?
You can't select living people.
Julia Child.
That was the question.
Julia Child way up there.
She was amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know that lady that wrote the blog that they made Julie and Julia about?
Julia Child read the blog and said, this lady fucking sucks.
Really?
Yeah.
And she was like, I don't want this to be.
I'm going to kick her ass.
Yeah.
She was like, this lady sucks.
This is the biggest piece of dog shit I've ever read.
Yeah.
It was cool.
Yeah.
And, oh, also, Julie from Julie and Julia.
Mm-hmm.
This isn't a public episode.
Dave?
It's a premium episode.
Premium.
Died from the vaccine.
Who?
The lady Julie from Julie and Julia.
You've got to watch the movie.
It's a great movie.
She died from the vaccine?
Yeah.
How do you know that?
She recently died.
Yeah.
I guess I'd have to say I respect Hillary Clinton.
You know?
If you believe the Clinton kill list, I mean, you kind of know.
I have to respect her.
And so she's like Al Capone.
Uh-huh.
You know?
Yeah.
She's done.
If you believe all the bad shit about the Clintons, you have to be like, this
is fucking,
this is a gang.
This is like the mom from the group.
You're saying she's like done a lot of just stuff.
Yeah.
Bad stuff.
She's a killer.
She's like Tony Soprano.
Yeah.
But you respect Jeffrey Dahmer because he killed a lot of people?
No.
But he's not like Tony Soprano, whereas Hillary Clinton would be.
Wait.
What?
I don't know.
Just do your list.
Let's move on to another topic.
No.
I like this conversation.
We were having a good time talking about tar.
And then you.
No.
You kept cutting me off.
You kept getting into this listicle stuff.
You saw what happened to Vice.
No more top ten lists.
No more listicles.
That's not Vice.
That's BuzzFeed.
And Vice did it too.
Nice.
Number one.
If there's no Vice, there's no BuzzFeed.
You know what's crazy?
That was all one guy basically.
Shane Smith?
No, no, no, no, no.
The guy that like created how online media works.
It was that guy, Nissan, what's his name?
Datsun.
Nissan Datsun.
Datsun.
Nissan Skyline.
Nissan Skyline.
Yeah.
Skyline.
No, there was that guy at BuzzFeed that he was like, how about just a list?
Right.
And you can sell it because they're click through.
You sell ads on each one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Smart.
And then he figured out how to.
And then, but also the way they word headlines.
Like, you're not going to believe what blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And also BuzzFeed did personality quizzes early.
Yeah.
Well, that was a MySpace thing.
Which, yeah, like which house of Harry Potter would you be?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hogwarts.
I guess I respect Caitlyn Jenner.
I do?
Yeah.
I mean, but what has she done, honestly?
What?
Yeah.
I don't know.
She won the Olympics.
Killed that person.
All right.
Tina Fey, number one.
Mm-hmm.
One of the funniest people on earth.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Number two, Lisa Ann.
Legend.
Yeah.
Paula Poundstone.
Ellen.
Ellen.
Paula Poundstone.
Ellen's accomplished more than Hillary Clinton.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Okay.
If you say so.
What do you mean?
I don't know.
I'm just saying, if you say so.
Okay.
What am I, three or four?
I don't know.
This is your game.
I didn't know I was going to play.
This is your world.
We're all just living in it.
We're having a nice conversation about something, and you said, well, we have
to talk about tar.
And then I start talking about it, and then you say, well, let's do, let's talk
about women that we respect.
And I said, I don't, I'm not prepared for this.
You're putting me on the spot in a way that's making me sleepy.
Angela Merkel?
Why?
She had a name that sounded like Urkel, and she overcame that?
Yeah.
People were probably making fun of her her whole life, being like, yeah.
Did I do that?
Yeah.
Isht ein du dat?
What if her name had been Carl with a K?
Carl Merkel.
Winsla.
Winsla.
What if that had been her name?
Diesht ein du dat?
Guten Homestiv.
Guten Homestiv.
Something like that, right?
Yeah.
Guten Homestiv.
Guten Homestiv.
German accents are always funny.
Oh, Rihanna.
Rihanna.
Reba McIntyre.
I respect Rihanna more.
Okay.
All right.
And then I guess final one, probably, yeah, Mia Khalifa.
Yeah.
Oh, Amelia Earhart.
Dead.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Lost.
Yeah.
Lost forever.
Yeah, Earhart.
How brave she was.
To be like, girls can fly planes too, without having ever learned anything
about them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Straight off the couch.
Yeah.
They were like, let's see if a girl, they were like, let's see if a girl can do
this.
Oh, Malala.
Turns out she can't.
I respect Malala.
Oh, for getting shot in the face.
Yeah.
And she, she was brave.
Here's what I don't understand about Malala's story, right?
She gets shot in the face trying to go to school.
Oh, you're poking holes.
Well, Taliban poked a hole.
This guy, you can't, this guy, you can't, this guy.
Okay, continue.
World puts her on a pedestal.
As far as I know, she did not go back to school after that.
It seems like it's kind of this big kind of Ferris Bueller situation.
Oh, she was trying to, oh.
Yeah.
Oh.
So she, they gave her honorary degree.
Right.
And then she just goes around talking and driving, driving Cameron's dad's
Ferrari.
Right.
Yeah.
She gets in a lot of trouble.
She does.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.