Name: Adam wants to Interview the Aliens on TAFS | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2023-06-09T22:46:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Adam wants to Interview the Aliens on TAFS | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Adam wants to Interview the Aliens on TAFS | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-09. Transcript available.

- So they found aliens yesterday?
- I saw that, and you know what's funny?
I was flipping through the channels last night,
and I wanted to hear about the aliens,
just 'cause it's comforting.
- It's nice.
- Yeah, it's a type of news for, you know.
And it is, people say it's a distraction,
but it's more like, it's an effective distraction.
Distract me with that, I don't get it.
- I think people need it bad.
- Right, exactly.
Society needs that bad.
- Yeah, right.
And I saw Cuomo, the News Nation show,
and I'm like, well, he's probably talking about the aliens.
- That's our boy.
- I put it on, it's like I hit,
and the show had already started,
and I turn it on, and as I turn it on,
he's sitting there, and he goes, aliens.
And he's just like, immediately.
- Did he crush it?
- Yeah, his show is like, his show's actually--
- We love him.
- The new show is--
- Folks, we love him.
- Dude, I'll be honest with you, I didn't really watch,
'cause I didn't get cable until the pandemic.
- Yeah.
- And at that point, CNN was just, it's all just COVID bullshit.
I don't care, you know?
- Yeah.
- And then nobody's watching full news programs,
so I can't really compare as if I've watched whole episodes
of his old CNN show.
- Mm-hmm.
- The new show is much better.
- Well, I was watching it during COVID,
'cause I was back home with my parents.
They were just religiously watching it.
- No, it's just, he's like, look, if it's nothing, tell us.
Stop not telling us whether there's aliens or not.
- He's my best friend. - Yeah, and he brings a guy on there.
- I hope that doesn't offend you.
- I think they should tell us about the aliens.
- So sick.
- That's what the news should be.
Are there aliens? - I agree.
- Give us the damn answers.
- Yeah, yes or no. - Yeah.
- Drop the shit. - Yeah.
- Isn't Biden, like, pro, like, X-Files,
like, releasing alien shit?
That was, like, one of his platform points.
- Was it we're gonna-- - Or was it Hillary?
- Maybe Hillary was.
One of the two of them were, like, pro, like,
declassifying Area 51 shit.
- Yeah, I don't know.
I don't understand the motivation with any of that.
- What do you mean?
- I don't know, what does it matter?
Like, is that, 'cause, like--
- 'Cause it would be awesome.
It would make everyone feel awesome.
- How many votes is that gonna get you?
- I think it's more altruistic.
- I think it's more-- - Can you imagine being alive
in the fucking moon landing, 1969?
- Well, I'll tell you this. - It would've been so awesome.
- This is probably what it is, is, like...
Obviously, with January 6th, I mean, you can blame Trump,
but a lot of that's, like, buttressed by this QAnon thing.
And I still don't know what QAnon was,
whether it's, like, just an individual
or a couple of people having fun
and it, like, grew into this big thing.
- The theory is it's naval intelligence.
- Yeah, or it's something deliberate by the government, you know?
- That makes sense.
- Either way, it's, like, you know,
if you recognize that, like,
the power conspiracy theories now have,
especially, like, when everybody that lived through 9/11
and was young enough to be, like,
susceptible to loose change, you know, is an adult,
like, conspiracy theories do have, like,
real, measurable power, right?
So how do you, like, take that back
and then also, take that power back
and then also, like, nullify it?
And the easiest answer is, like,
you start with the UFO guys.
UFO guys make Bigfoot real, all of these things,
because, like, now it's this sort of, like,
bizarro world where you can, like,
gain credibility by engaging in conspiracy theories.
So if you have people, like, in the center or on the left,
or people who live in the world of, like, you know,
supposed truth or whatever, engaging in these things,
it shows their willingness to ask questions
that are inherently absurd.
And by doing that, then maybe, you know,
it's, like, if you can overwrite, like, QAnon stuff
or right-wing conspiracy theories with, like,
a large popular belief in something like aliens
or Bigfoot or whatever.
So you're just, you're--
It's, like, dry, it's noise.
It creates noise, but specifically to counter--
But what if human beings found out we're not alone?
That would be awesome.
And if we were alive for it--
That's what I mean.
And so it's working on you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Of course.
Yeah.
If I was alive when they landed on the moon,
I would have thought that was the coolest shit ever.
I asked my dad, I was like, do you think--
do you think the moon landing was fake?
Yeah.
And he, like, almost started crying.
He was like, if it is fake, it would, like, really hurt.
Because it was so awesome to be, like, a fucking kid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that people, like, shit seems really sad.
People seem very lonely.
Yeah.
And there is a perfect--
I don't think--
We don't have-- we don't have effective--
I always had liberal conspiracy theories, you know?
It's like they were all directed at Trump.
And that didn't really--
I mean, aside from, like, a couple of, like,
theme accounts on Twitter.
Russia.
Yeah.
Nobody cares about Russiagate.
I mean, a lot of people did.
And now it's a war for conspiracy.
Everyone that watched Maddow did.
It's a private-- it's a private war for, like,
these conspiracies.
If Biden can make himself the UFO guy, that's--
in some people's minds, that adds credibility to him.
Because it's--
I know what you're saying, and you're probably right.
But I'm just sick of being so cynical.
I think it would be so cool.
If, what, aliens were real?
If we found aliens while we were alive?
We have cool shit here.
Like what?
Like, whatever's at the fucking bottom of the ocean.
What the fuck is an octopus?
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
We already have whatever people are like--
Their brain is their entire body?
It's their entire body.
And you can cut off their arm, and they're still alive?
They're doing fucking, like, tool laser shows
inside of their body at all times.
They're unreal.
Fucking, like, pyramids and, like, fog machines and all this shit.
And then all they're doing is, like, eating crabs.
They're using all of that.
They evolved all of this stuff.
I don't buy it.
That nature would evolve all of these systems
so that this thing can be like, "Oh, fucking oysters."
If a fucking spaceship came down and landed on Earth,
it would be fucking sick.
Yeah, but you don't care about octopuses now.
You can go right now to the aquarium and see one.
I watched the fucking South African guy.
Who?
The octopus teacher.
Bear Grylls?
The documentary on Netflix about the guy that he teaches octopus?
No.
He goes swimming every day with an octopus.
And he experiences its death.
What I would want to see --
You wouldn't talk about media being dead.
What I would love to see is a remake of radio,
but instead of a mentally disabled African-American man,
it's an octopus.
Mm-hmm.
It's one of those just fucking trippy octopi
that has lights and stuff.
And then it's the manager of the team?
"The hell is wrong with that boy?"
He's just in a tank.
"Something ain't right with that boy."
And it just -- yeah, it gets one of the footballs.
It, like, kind of slimes onto the field
and gets one of the footballs.
And then all of the jocks start beating it with broomsticks.
Yeah, look at this freak.
And Ed Harris is like, "Leave that boy alone!"
Yeah, he's different.
"What's your name, son?"
And he's just not talking.
He can't talk.
No, but he has, like, telepathy or something.
He takes the octopus home, and his mom's like,
"They say they ain't know what's wrong with the boy."
Mm-hmm.
"He just light out a bunch of different colors."
"They say he ain't got no central nervous system."
Mm-hmm.
"His whole body is a brain.
So you're saying he's as smart as we are."
Well, it ain't like that.
But if you cut off one of his arms,
it'll still go find crabs to eat.
You know?
That would be the movie.
That would be a good movie.
Yeah.
Nick?
They're like, "You're ruining the football team
because you're too obsessed with radio."
He's still named radio.
Octo Radio.
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
Wait, is he in, like, a tank that they wheel around?
Or does he exist on, like, the dry land?
He can breathe.
He can breathe.
He can breathe?
Yeah.
He can breathe air.
And he walks on all eight?
I think he's just sort of, like, gooey kind of--
It's crazy.
They're, like, no--
The way you move around.
We've been doing a lot of body work recently.
What?
Have you seen a change in me after all of our body work?
No.
Not at all.
What were you going to say?
Can I have the things?
You watched every episode of Deep Space Nine.
No, I actually haven't.
I've seen maybe two or three seasons.
Okay, you've watched so much Star Trek.
I'm not a Star Trek guy.
How sick would it be?
I'm not a Star Trek guy any more than I'm, like, a fucking--
Let me think of another show.
Simpsons?
No, because I'm definitely a Simpsons guy.
You're more Simpsons.
Absolutely.
That show is very important to me.
But I'm a Star Trek guy to the same extent that I'm, let's say,
beyond belief, fact, or fiction guy.
Actually, I've seen more of that show.
It's not possible.
There's thousands of-- I mean, there's hundreds and hundreds of
episodes of Star Trek.
There's probably 100 episodes of that show.
No, it was on for, like, seven seasons.
Was it?
Yeah.
Is that the one with--
John, it's with Commander Riker.
So that's just Star Trek.
It's not just Star Trek.
That's just Star Trek, dude.
It's not.
That's just Star Trek.
First of all, originally, it was James
Brolin.
That guy's a hot man.
No, not Josh Brolin.
James Brolin.
Silver Fox.
Double A, beep beep, MCO.
Double A, VE.
Double A, honk, honk, VE.
That's, uh, Streisand's man.
Double A, honk, honk, VE.
I get what you're saying about conspiracy theories, but, like, I wouldn't put
it on the same level
as something that just-- life is sad and confusing, and conspiracy theories
give you explanations
and tie them up with a bow, and it makes people feel better, but it's not the
same as a fucking alien landing.
Yeah, I mean, there's an idea that people use fucking conspiracy theories to
turn away from, like,
the injustices you're, like, complicit in, either under capitalism or because
you live in a country
that bombs the shit out of other countries saying, oh, well, it's aliens or the
Illuminati or whatever.
I mean, you know.