Name: The Bernstein Bears Authors were Hippy FREAKS | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2023-06-10T22:27:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Bernstein Bears Authors were Hippy FREAKS | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Bernstein Bears Authors were Hippy FREAKS | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-10. Transcript available.

It doesn't feel good when something catches you.
What's that meme of the Berenstain Bears
where there's a family of pandas moving in next door
and the dad's all angry,
and then somebody just superimposed Huey helicopters
over Vietnam, like him just having a flashback?
Okay, I never saw it.
If you smile at me, then fine.
What do you mean? I never saw it.
It's funny that the Berenstain Bears dad
went to fucking Vietnam, and he was in the shit,
and he napalmed the panda bears.
I'm sorry.
I don't want the acrimony.
I want cooperation.
That's a good meme.
Nick?
What?
Why don't you say something?
Okay.
Why don't you suggest the premise?
Okay.
Here's the premise.
It's funny.
Yeah, it is funny.
That's good.
That's good.
Premises, Biden, in addition to...
It's crazy.
So the Berenstain Bears, it was...
Here, I'll do it.
I'll handle the new premise that we're talking about.
Okay.
It's written by Stan and Jan Berenstain, right?
Mm-hmm.
And I'm assuming they're a couple.
Brother and sister.
Oh, they are.
But they fuck.
Do you know they're brother and sister?
No, I don't know.
I don't know.
Why?
What's wrong with that?
All right.
Hold on.
Now I've got to find out.
Illustrator is best known.
With both reigns and penis.
Married for 15...
Okay.
So they were married, right?
Just to imagine these people, like, writing a children's book and drawing it
and then finishing
it and putting the final touches and then just, like, just fucking.
Just, like, being like, I fucking love you.
This is the one where the bear gets a new car.
Just like, fuck you.
Oh, my God, I love you so fucking much.
We write these fucking books for babies.
And then doing that for 59 years.
Yeah.
Just be like, fuck.
Yeah.
Personal lives.
I hope they say...
I hope they...
They...
Yeah.
Berenstain's marriage for 59 years until Stan's death from cancer.
They had two sons, Leo and Mike.
Mike Berenstain is a writer.
Illustrator has been a published author of 60 years.
His parents on Stever Bears and Bears.
Jan Berenstain died of a stroke on February 24, 2012.
It's not as cool as fucking.
Okay.
In 1967, they wrote a book called Mr. Dirty vs. Mr. Clean.
Mrs. Clean.
Once again.
Yeah.
Once again.
Call me Mrs.
Bedside lover boy.
Lover boy.
They're horny freaks.
Yeah.
They're horny freaks.
I mean, you can tell it.
You can see it.
How'd you know?
I couldn't see it.
Because I...
And you think I pathologize everything sex.
But I'm right.
It's not...
But how'd you see it?
What were the clues?
You just haven't...
Just show me your two spaces after the period.
The way their names are placed on the cover of the book.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's just something about...
There's something that...
It's not centered.
It's off to the bottom.
It's like you can almost see them finishing the work, leaving their mark on it,
and walking
off into the bedroom to fuck each other violently.
I don't know.
That's it.
There's something else.
There's some other, like, wavelength that you're on.
Yeah.
Because you do that too much.
Tax-wise, marital...
I scared myself when I did Jimmy Buffett.
That one was...
That he was on the hamburger and that he was on the plane.
Yeah.
That was bizarre.
Yeah.
I don't know, man.
Sometimes you're just tapped into shit.
It's all in the family.
Lover boy.
But what you're tapped into is people's basis sexual desires.
Yeah.
And beat him when he sneezes.
Bedside lover boy.
Call me missus.
It's still in the family.
Office lover boy.
It's still in the family.
It's like incest porn.
The facts of life for grown-ups.
Ooh.
Mr. Dirty and Mrs. Clean.
Be good or I'll belt ya.
How to teach your children about sex without making a complete fool of yourself.
Never trust anyone over 13.
They're freaks.
Yeah.
These people are absolute freaks.
Yeah.
Are they boomers?
Are they like Woodstock generation?
No, they're boomers.
They're fucked up.
They're the boomers that...
Like the ones that like...
This is a problem with hippies.
Is all these fucking freaks imported Eastern philosophy in like the middle of
the last century.
Mm-hmm.
And created this nightmare version of it where instead of like...
They don't understand...
That's why they have to use drugs to find like ego death or whatever.
But all this stuff that was supposed to be about being like dissolving the self.
And then panacea to the trappings of narcissism or whatever.
Then reinforce the thing.
And then they all became like sex freak rapists.
And then there's like, you know, some...
Well, maybe the simpler answer is there was just pussy in it.
Yeah.
There was pussy in all of that stuff.
But that's...
You know, like all of...
The reason like the 1960s fizzled out isn't, you know, like this idea of
revolution or whatever.
That it didn't amount to anything.
Isn't like because the CIA was effective in like...
It's because they were lazy.
Like mollifying all of these things.
No, it's because Americans are too narcissistic to actually see any of it
through.
So then it's like, oh, like...
You know, you can see it now.
The same thing.
It's like, oh, good for me.
I went to a Black Lives Matter protest or I posted a black square.
It's like sort of like a fast-paced, like a microscopic version of what
happened.
Well, it's like if I did acid at Woodstock, that makes me an old revolutionary.
Yeah, right.
It's like you just went to a party.
Right.
And you got fucked up.
Yeah.
And now they're all old and they all have healing crystals and they take fake
medicine
they buy on the internet and they...
Yeah.
You know.
And they gave up on trying to fix any problems in society.
Yeah.
Well, they were never trying to fix it.
They never did.
Yeah.
But the original premise was this is a counterculture.
We're going to like...
No, they were looking for like a secular rapture.
They just wanted to get fucked up and get some pussy.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
And some of them wanted to write books for children and then fuck each other.
Yeah.
Yeah.