Name: Nick Mullen on Jared from Subway Documentary | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2023-06-27T14:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nick Mullen on Jared from Subway Documentary | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nick Mullen on Jared from Subway Documentary | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-27. Transcript available.

I watched the first two episodes that Subway Jared docu-seasons.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tommy Pope and Chris were telling me about it.
That might be one of the worst pieces of media.
It's a piece of shit.
It's so bad.
Why is it so bad?
Because, well, here's the problem.
Everyone already knows the story of Subway Jared.
I don't think.
The Subway mascot.
I would assume you know it in detail more than most people.
The basics are this.
The Subway mascot, a guy that fucking lost weight eating Subway sandwiches
and became their mascot, ends up being a pedophile.
We know this.
Everybody knows that.
So you don't need to spend over two episodes recapping that.
So right in the beginning, there's maybe a little bit of Jared's backstory,
but they just have to belabor every fucking single detail.
And then you find out that most of this story was, for years,
it was this one woman pursuing it because he said it made an offhand comment
to a lady one time.
He goes, man, middle school girls are hot.
And then this woman started a years-long campaign of faking a relationship
with Jared and recording all of their conversations to get him to say.
Then she has all these recordings where you're like,
so would you ever, like, you can, like, what's your fantasy?
Like, would you ever want to, like, maybe, like, a younger girl
or something like that?
And he's like, yeah, I guess.
And then, you know, yeah.
Just like, you know, I mean, I'm sure he did.
Boy, would we find out if he fucked kids or not.
But it just takes so...
So did he not actually fuck kids or he just said, I like that?
I think he had a bunch of child pornography or something.
Okay.
I don't know.
It sounds like she kind of set his ass up.
It sounds like she got a little bit obsessed with him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I heard that there was a dog fucking element.
Maybe you're not at that point yet.
No.
But that's what Tommy Pope was telling me, is that he got caught
because someone was going to fuck a dog in Denver or something.
Yeah.
I don't understand what he was talking about, but it sounds right.
He was going to have sex with someone's dog?
Some lady was like, yeah, I fuck dogs or something.
But, yeah, I don't know.
I just, I was getting annoyed with how, like, because it keeps cutting
from, like, they interviewed some guy who was, like, different journalists.
But none of them, like, I guess, maybe we find out later
that they had played a larger role.
But initially, it's just scene after scene of, like,
Jared was, like, one of the most popular men in America.
You couldn't go anywhere without seeing Subway Jared.
And what people loved about him is the story was so inspirational.
But he had a dark side.
I knew something was wrong about Jared the first time.
And then they interviewed the woman's son, too, and he's like,
yeah, my mom really, she, like, knew something was wrong with Jared.
Who is the woman?
She's, like, she was some, like, local radio lady from, like, fucking Tampa or
so.
Is that where Jared's from?
She met him at, like, a wet t-shirt contest or something.
He was doing it.
And he was just making it rain all day.
Yeah, Subway was doing it.
Subway, he would do events for children.
He would go to schools.
And tell them about being healthy.
Yeah, don't be fat.
Don't be fat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And if you're fat, don't worry about being beautiful.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I just looked up dog sex, Jared Fogle.
I didn't find any of it.
But I did find that there were a bunch of articles saying that a porn-sniffing
dog helped bring him down.
That the dog can smell electronic data storage devices like thumb drives and SD
cards.
Yeah, Jared.
What?
Yeah.