Name: LBJ and The Stolen U.S. Election | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2023-08-02T14:00:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'LBJ and The Stolen U.S. Election | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'LBJ and The Stolen U.S. Election | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-02. Transcript available.

Well, it's fine, you know, I tell you, I've read those LBJ books.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, like using that as an example.
So every, like, famously LBJ stole the 1948 election.
You know, that was like, that's.
Who's that?
Dewey defeats, what's 1948?
That's.
The 1948 Senate election.
In Texas.
Yeah, so famously he stole that one.
But in 1941, he ran and lost to O'Daniels, the governor.
And it was like, the method in which he stole, I didn't know.
I mean, I just like, it's one of those things you say.
You know, you say like, oh, well, actually Russia won the World War II.
And then if you say, if I said that very confidently while drunk at a bar, you
know, being like, actually, Russia won World War II.
You said, oh, really, how?
I go, I'm getting, I'm going to get another beer.
I'll see you later.
I got to, actually, I'm tired.
I could explain it, but, but I have to get my, I have penis surgery in the
morning and I need my, I need my penis sleep.
And you rest my cock.
I need to wrap my penis in honey-soaked napkins before my penis surgery
tomorrow morning.
But I'll remember this conversation and I'll explain to you the World War II
thing for sure.
So, yeah, I mean, I could, I could say, oh, yeah, LBJ stole the 48 election.
You know, the, the technical details I had no idea about.
But 41 was crazy too, because, so like all of, all of South Texas, like the
Valley and stuff, it was all Mexican people.
And like a lot of it was like culturally, I mean, it was Mexico, you know, they
didn't speak English.
They didn't, you know, and all of those communities were just controlled by
like the one white guy in town who was usually like the sheriff who would like,
you know, just.
Boss hog.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like wear bullets.
Yeah.
Like wear the, the wharf bullet fucking sash and shit.
Joe Arpaio.
And they would round up all these Mexican people and take them to the polls and
like literally stand there with them and be like, yeah, you got to vote for
this guy.
And all of those guys, the jefes, were just controlled by like a political boss,
like the South Texas political boss.
Well, it was like that with immigrants in NYC too, right?
Yeah, but it's like pales in comparison to Texas.
Really?
You know?
Yeah.
I mean, I guess it's like the, like Tammany Hall back.
And you have to go back fucking almost a hundred years to see that, that level
of like corruption, I think in New York City.
Yeah.
Like Tammany Hall, they would have to be all these immigrants that would come
in and say, you know, if you vote for this guy, we'll give you jobs and kickbacks
in the government once we have control.
Yeah.
But yeah, they would round people up and bring them there.
I think it was a little bit harder to get away with like blatant election fraud.
But then they would do shit like there were towns in South Texas where there
was a hundred people registered to vote.
And they would, uh, they would just take buses, drive into Mexico, get more Mexicans
from Mexico.
They go over to Juarez.
Yeah.
Get Mexicans from Mexico and bring them into the country for the sole purpose
of voting.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
So these districts are reporting.
They're like, yeah, we've got 400 votes for, uh, uh, Johnson and zero for the
other candidate.
I mean, it was like, you know, it was wild.
And, um, yeah, in 41, um, LBJ did that.
He like, he bought out all the, the South Texas votes and it was election day.
And the guy, uh, uh, George Parr, who was like the, like this, the head
criminal who, who, like, you know, control all of these votes.
He asked me, he's like, well, when do you want us to report these votes?
And LBJ fucked up because he didn't wait, you know.
So he like showed his hand like almost right away.
Like, uh, he said, report them now.
Let's get the votes in.
So he was like way ahead.
He got excited.
He got, yeah.
So he had him report the votes.
And then the other candidate, the governor, and this is funny too, is because
the governor was just like an idiot.
He was like a guy that got popular on the radio, like yodeling.
And then he started like yodeling for flower companies.
The soggy bottom boys.
Yeah, right, yeah.
And, uh, and he was just this like carpetbagger from Kansas that moved to Texas.
Oh, gosh.
And he was like, you know, I just sell flower on the radio.
And then on the radio, he was like, should I run for governor?
And then a bunch of people were like, yes.
And then he did and he won.
And he was like this, like, beloved governor, even though he didn't really do
anything other than yodel.
That's awesome.
And, uh, and yeah, so he decided to run for Senate after.
Yeah.
And, uh, it wasn't him that, uh, the, you know, because LBJ had the votes and LBJ
was against this guy for the Senate race.
But, uh, the business community of, uh, Texas realized that, like, okay, if, uh,
if this guy stays governor, if he continues to be governor, then, um, there's a
good chance that he could, uh, make these, like, uh, pension reforms that would
increase the taxes on oil.
And, uh, and, uh, he also had become, throughout that campaign, more, uh, like,
hostile towards, um, like, alcohol in the beer industry in Texas was huge.
So they were like, well, we got to get this guy out of the governor's office.
So we're going to, we're going to rig the election so that he wins the Senate
race.
So LBJ already announced, like, oh, here's all my votes from South Texas in the
cities.
And he's, like, ahead by this major margin.
And then the business community knew the number that they needed to beat.
So they went out to East Texas and, and, uh, like the, the, I don't know if the
Hill Country, but East Texas.
And they were like, all right, these are the votes we need.
And they just paid out the money and all these, like, fake numbers came in.
But the entire thing, you know, I mean, it's like the whole thing is just a
giant fucking sham.
That's so fun.
Yeah, no, it's crazy.
That's awesome.
Yeah, no, it was literally just.
It's like a game.
Yeah, no, it was nuts.
It was just, it's all just fucking, there's no, there's not even a semblance of
democracy happening.
I mean, it's like, it's like LBJ being hurt because he, he announced he's
stolen.
He didn't cheat good enough.
Yeah, he cheated at the, he didn't cheat.
He fucked up cheating.
Right, exactly.
Well, didn't Kennedy.
And to, like, have that information and then, like, be like, oh, Donald Trump
is.
Kennedy famously stole the election.
Yeah.
His dad got all those dead people to vote for him in Illinois.
Yeah, yeah.
Because democracy isn't fucking real.
It's so sick.
Yeah, it's not real at all.
But, yeah.
But our dads, they should, um, they're hurting our dads.
And that's really what's most important.
Yeah.
Yeah.