Name: Nick Mullen has Gone Blind | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2023-09-05T14:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nick Mullen has Gone Blind | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nick Mullen has Gone Blind | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-05. Transcript available.

the stone i think i'm doing pretty good what am i at here like 15 minutes let
me see
yeah see told you you got an internal clock yeah you keep your eyes closed your
other i can already
feel my other senses being heightened yeah how your ears these days i'm hearing
pretty well i
find myself more attracted to men what's my breath like huh what's my breath
like uh terrible as
always yeah yeah but that i don't need my eyes closed for no you come in the
room you're fucking
i'm about 25 feet singing bob dylan off key and i can smell the halitosis as
soon as you get off the
elevator i'm like oh adam must be here no wow who says i that's not well who's
it you just think
you're bob dylan i don't you're fucking stank ass breath you can cover songs if
you want yeah yeah
and actually i should cover your mouth when you speak
in the land of the blind
the big nose man is king that's me then yeah i'm the king of the show yeah man
it would really suck
to be blind but i didn't to be honest with you after just 10 minutes of this i
know i haven't had
to do more than pick up a coffee i think i could handle it i would love to be
uh deaf yeah no women
bitching it really seems like it's like you think about being blind you're like
god that'd be a
fucking nightmare but there's like so many blind people and some of them are
some of the most successful
people of all time like who jeff bezos he's not blind oh i'm thinking of ray
charles ray charles
yeah yeah and they're all like black guys that can play piano if you're a black
guy they could play
piano you go you should be blind neil degrasse tyson if we ever get him in here
if he was blind i would
respect him a lot more i think i'm gonna blind him you think i think like blow
dust in his eyes
yeah i think that would be upsetting for him but uh i think it could i think
that might be the next phase
and then he'd be in his mind thinking about the cosmos more yeah he's just in
the it's just feeling
the telescope yeah they can invent a touch telescope for him
it's like god damn i love space you have to learn a whole new type of reading
with your fingers
i love you space yeah that's cool they always do stuff like that this this god
damn i love
fucking space why do they do that what the the blind singing guys well it's ray
and stevie well
ray is kind of stiff he's kind of moved but then stevie wonder has more of like
stevie had a group
yeah stevie had a kind of thing maybe they don't know they're doing it i guess
yeah they don't know
that everyone's laughing at them yeah everyone's like look at this fucking
idiot yeah um stevie would
also do it with his penis in his pants did oh he had a like a like an elephant's
penis uh
yeah i guess you could say that it sounds a bit racist no no no uh it's uh you
can move in all
four directions prehensile yeah i wanted to say prenatal penis but uh i don't
think that's true
that would be your diagnosis
there's another prenatal penis
yeah apparently you have an embryonic penis
they say that my penis is uh like a just hasn't attained gestation
yeah it's translucent yeah yeah it's bioluminescent for some reason yeah it's
like one of those
used to your abdomen it's one it's like one of those sea creatures that only
exists beneath like
5 000 feet yeah it's like like uh like an alien yeah it's like an infected uh
it's kind of like uh it's so small it's like a psychedelic mushroom screen saver
it's like krill yeah the size of a cashew it's like still adhered to your body
yeah but you know what that's just a matter of perspective nick
mm-hmm because if you're uh molecule my penis is huge yeah you know so um so it
seems like you're doing well with this whole blind thing i guess yeah i guess
this is like kind of a tough episode to look at it's like it's like it's like
it's like it's like it's just a matter of perspective
yeah but you know what but you know what that's just a matter of perspective
nick
mm-hmm because if you're uh molecule my penis is huge
yeah
you know so um so it seems like you're doing well with this whole blind thing i
guess
yeah
i guess this is like kind of a tough episode to listen to it's really more
instruct nick you should well this honestly i think this might be make it
better
to podcast if i because i have no visual because you feel like you're back in
like the before the
cameras well no now i feel like a listener i can see it from their perspective
yeah i can think about uh you can empathize
uh yeah that being blind builds empathy it's another one of the senses that it
builds
why are you doing that you know that messes up my calibration
it's funny because of where the snaps are coming from i can hear how bad your
posture is
no that's not true
yeah
i'm sitting up straight
no it's it's very like
i'm sitting up straight
no
no i was
i can hear
if you're in the comments and uh just show nick that i was sitting up straight
when i did that
but i'm going to see if this works for real i know i said it as a joke but i'm
going to i'm going to
start like practice keeping my eyes closed to see if uh it does resolve this
would be a difficult
place to be blind in this room because there's a lot of sound deadening stuff
right so you couldn't
like echolocate because we have curtains all around once again the echolocation
thing is fake that was
one little kid blind people do not have echolocation yeah they can i'm going to
start getting into
we reach out if there's why if there are blind people they speak in clicks if
there's any blind
people that listen to this show yeah um let me know you're going to have to you're
going to have
to say something you're going to have to send me a singing telegram because my
eyes will be
closed and i won't be able to respond to emails for a while um
okay we get it did you see the room from that we get it echolocation yeah but
did you see like
where the cameras are i know where the cameras are i've built the studio you
didn't build it with
your two hands did you see the table the chair do you see how i'm sitting just
from that noise i know
how you're sitting from prior understanding
you