Name: The Privatization of American Toilets | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2023-09-28T14:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Privatization of American Toilets | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Privatization of American Toilets | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-28. Transcript available.

oh i went to the gene savant of it is you know i mean i i don't uh i'm sorry i'm
not a i'm not a
libertarian yeah but some aspects of it i do like which is um you know just
like absolutely
commodifying every single aspect of life yeah privatizing everything and one
thing that i think
like we really like toilets bathrooms should be a standalone business yes the
idea that it's like
oh i'm at a restaurant because i ate they have to provide me with a place to
shit i mean that's
insane you think that it's fucking i mean it'd be like a like a baron of outhouses
around new york
city yeah well i mean it's stupid it's like oh you know it's like if you went
to any other place
you went to best buy and you're like oh i'm gonna buy i'm gonna buy a new tv
and i'm like i'm gonna
leave this broken crt yeah right here on the floor you guys can clean up my
garbage because
i got a new tv and that's essentially what you're doing asking for a bathroom
at a restaurant you
should go to a restaurant you're getting fresh food so you can put the old and
there should be a place
there should be a couple of persian people that are like they must have
beautiful toilet yeah they have
next door you go in and um you know it's like a spa treatment almost they're
kind of like uh trailers like
for production no literally this is like the like the best argument against
fucking socialism or communism yes is that that is like the toilet toilets are
the one thing whose
progress has not been dictated by free markets it's just been this thing that
is just like attached to
other businesses or just a public utility and but there are no public restrooms
in new york city not
anymore yeah and what uh no that's right there's not so it is kind of
controlled by the private sector
now yeah but that's not a selling point for any of these places that they have
a nice crack yeah
come to scissors we got the best starbucks couldn't get away with having the
worst coffee in the entire
world but the best toilets starbucks has that solid my point is this is that in
and now what what have we had
probably six thousand years of communism toilets haven't become any better yeah
they're basically
from the stone ages the yeah we need to privatize the kind of it's the same
toilet you can find in a
castle i'd imagine you know yeah they flush sure yeah but think about you know
think about how far along
phones have come right if toilets were entirely yeah if we had a fucking iphone
of a toilet yeah but i think
that a lot of it is has to do with big paper and uh the lumber industry oh
because they want to keep
toilet paper going they want to keep us is toilet paper made out of trees i
think so oh yeah i think
they want to keep us how many trees does it take to make a roll of toilet paper
probably a million
that's awesome probably a lot just some fucking when we could have these nice
japanese sorry fountains
pygmy village going into our asses making us cleaner than the than the trees
could ever me village in the
amazon they're just their homes are being fucking fern gullied yeah and he's
like sorry we got a lot of
people with ibs these days apparently the sewage system in greece can't take
these toilets can't
take a toilet paper so you have to crumple it up and then put in the garbage
that's a problem on the
border yeah so people come across the border and they don't know because the
plumbing in mexico it gets
the same i guess it's bad there so people come over the border and all the gas
stations people just leave
shit toilet paper on the floor they don't they don't have a little waste basket
yeah in this country we put this shit down our fucking toilets that's how good
of a country we have
you