Name: China's End Game: "Dinner for Schmucks" | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2023-10-22T13:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'China's End Game: "Dinner for Schmucks" | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'China's End Game: "Dinner for Schmucks" | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-22. Transcript available.

Yeah, I guess that's what you got to think about, is like, how do you, how do
we defect
a mass to China?
I know, and how do we...
Because they're not going to want us there, you know that.
Us especially.
Right, yeah.
What are we bringing to the table?
What are we giving the party?
I'm just at dinner all the time being like, ew!
Y'all eat this shit?
Yeah.
This is nasty.
Yeah, this is crazy.
Where's this fucking Panda Express?
Damn, you guys eat bugs over here?
Yeah.
This is crazy.
He's just getting dinner for schmocked by, like, rich Chinese guys.
They're like, watch him try to eat the baby mice.
He doesn't know how.
You're like, oh, so tell us again about your third temple idea?
All right, guys, this is going to be great.
We're going to blow up Al-Aqsa Mosque.
Yeah, they are, they are, they are biding their damn time.
What's their long game?
Invade Taiwan.
Invade Taiwan.
That's it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which, honestly, they should.
I mean, how, what's, who's going to stop them?
Taiwan is, is, is just a fascist.
What leverage does the rest of the world have to say, don't do it?
None.
None.
Yeah.
What, what could we, what could we even have over them?
They should invade Taiwan and they should just sort of bomb Japan indiscriminately.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, we, G, President Xi, we have pictures of you kissing, kissing, I don't know,
a baby
or something.
Yeah.
Being a pedophile.
Yeah.
I don't, I don't think we have any compromise.
I don't think we, no, they're all, I don't think we have any leverage.
And that's the thing too.
It's like, it doesn't make any sense.
They're all the same ethnicity, you know?
Yeah.
Those guys are from mainland China.
There are other Chinese people that, that voted a different way and then they
wanted an
island.
Well, they lost a civil war and then they left.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Apparently the food's mad good.
In Taiwan?
In Taiwan.
Yeah.
Because it's every, there's so many different regions of China.
Isn't that also where they have the Hitler Cafe?
Yeah.
And then the defense is like, oh, well, we don't know who Hitler is.
It's like, oh, oh, sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That checks out.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Definitely.
Yeah.
You don't know who Hitler is.
Oh, man.
So we get, I mean, yeah.
How, I don't think we can really bring anything to the table over there in
China.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, like, we've talked about it before.
We have to like, kind of put in some sort of messaging into our, into the talk
show, at
least.
In what way?
I don't know.
I get like the guests to kind of like think, think again about, you know,
how uniform, you know, our hatred of the, of the Chinese Communist Party is
over in this.
They're, they're only want to liberate Taiwan, get those beautiful microprocessors.
I think the only reason we hate them isn't because of communism.
I think that's also like a dumb thing is like thinking like the, the, that
there's like
some secret force against communism still dictating foreign policy, which are
they even communists?
They're Chinese.
They're socialists with Chinese characteristics.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or Chinese with socialist characteristics.
Isn't their whole language characteristics?
Yeah.
They were glasses.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're Chinese with socialist characters.
So it's like a, they have like a.
Socialists.
Daffy Duck.
Yeah.
Socialist Kramer.
Yeah.
Or Chinese Kramer.
Yeah.
Socialist Chinese Kramer.
That's the one over there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Chinese Seinfeld.
They would probably love Kramer over there.
No, they were mad at China because they don't respect the intellectual property,
which isn't
real anyways.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They just, they just steal all of our ideas.
It is pretty cool though.
There's a bunch of shit like, uh, like all the camera, like gear, like fucking,
uh, small
rig.
Yeah.
All that shit.
That's Chinese.
Yeah.
I guess like fucking 30 years ago, you would pay out the ass for, you know,
just like something
that holds a camera.
Yeah.
And Chinese are like, no, we have a factory in, in Guangdong.
Yeah.
We'll do a match.
Yeah.
We'll do it.
That'll work great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There are some places where you can just send them something like a part for
like a car.
from like 20 years ago, you can send it to a factory and be like, reverse
engineer this
and they'll do it.
And then they'll make it for, you know, a thousand dollars cheaper per unit
that you would pay if
you just bought the shit new.
Really?
Yeah.
Wait, like to make one part that you need?
No, I think you would have to have like a minimum order.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's so to say.
Yeah.
They're awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah.