Name: Amy Schumer is the WORST | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2023-11-05T13:00:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Amy Schumer is the WORST | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Amy Schumer is the WORST | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-05. Transcript available.

Who are the worst in Hollywood right now for defending Israel?
It's got to be Amy Schumer, Adam Friedland, Brett Gellman.
Why are you putting me on that?
You guys are the top three.
No, I'm just going to see how this plays out.
You're going to see how it plays out.
Some people are really not playing their cards right now.
You've got to see how it plays out.
Some people are being very dumb.
Listen, I'm made for this, guys.
I'm built different.
I've got that dog in me.
And if I've learned anything in life, you've got to see how things play out.
Look, there's two options.
You can actually speak truth to power, or you can pursue a job in the
entertainment industry.
Those are the two options.
If you try to do both, at some point, you're going to have to sell your soul to
work in
the business that famously harbors pedophiles.
Well, we got rid of all of them.
Thank God.
They're all gone now.
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely no more sexual assault in the entertainment industry.
I haven't heard of one since the babe.com Aziz article.
Amy Schumer is really just, apparently they said it's been 50 Instagram posts.
She's done 50.
That's heavy posting.
Yeah.
Well, she's just straight up.
That's hard posting.
She's just being just racist now.
Yeah.
Like, did you see she posted that thing that was like, she posted some article
like demonstrating
that these top donations at these schools were.
Yeah, from Arabs.
Which is like, yeah, they're from fucking Saudis in the UAE.
Does she understand that Arabs have killed so many Palestinians also?
Oh, right.
Well, beyond that.
It's not just team Arab.
But beyond that, half of the Arabs are allied with Israel anyways.
Yeah.
They have diplomatic relations, unofficial, I guess, still diplomatic relations.
I guess they're all the same.
Yeah.
The Arabs.
Yeah.
From Arabs.
And then Meghan McCain posting that like, she's like, she posted it.
Would you hide me?
Yeah.
Yes, I would.
Would you hide me?
I think Meghan McCain's already hiding a bunch of people simply by standing
there.
There's got to be, at any given moment, there has to be five to six hundred
people behind
Meghan McCain that you can't see.
You wouldn't need a secret annex.
They could just put Anne Frank behind her giant fucking ass.
She'd be like, she'd just have to be like one of those birds that lives on top
of a rhino.
Yeah.
But I mean, I don't know.
This behavior is fucking just, it's like egregious.
I mean, it's wild.
It's crazy that it goes one way.
It's fucking wild.
Yeah.
You can say one thing and then lose everything.
And then you can say what she's doing and then she's fine.
Yeah.
Well, even then, it's like, but that's, I don't even want to get it because it's,
that's not
justice.
Oh, we live in a world where they like, you know, you can call if you, like, if
you do
cheerlead the genocide, you lose your job.
I'm not saying she should.
I don't give a fuck about people in the West losing their jobs or keeping their
jobs.
Also, it doesn't matter what comedians think about anything, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're not like, like, I'm not saying she should lose her job.
I'm just saying that everyone else that's saying anything mildly on the other,
from the other
side.
Yeah.
He's getting blackballed.
Yeah.
It's, it's, it's, uh, especially when it's like, protects you from what?
The fucking, like, eight-year-old Palestinian boy that was fucking stabbed to
death three
years, three weeks ago?
Like, that seems to be the only hate crime I've seen thus far related to what's
going
on right now.
I mean, you can argue that the Hamas attack could have, you know, people were
shot at the
bus stops and stuff.
I mean, that's technically...
No, I mean here.
Oh, in America?
Yeah, in the United States.
Oh, the kid in Chicago, yeah.
Yeah, the kid that was in Chicago or Detroit?
I thought Chicago.
I can't remember.
The fact that it was a lion lord.
No, you know what was in Detroit is that, that, uh, it was like a canter or
something.
It was ahead of, like, the Jewish community.
And then that was, like, pitched as, like, oh, see?
And then it turned out...
But it was like Rashida Tlaib got shit from it, from, uh, some people.
And, uh...
Yeah.
You'll figure out why I said that.
Why?
No, nothing.
What?
We'll cut that.
Why?
Because of...
Oh.
Yeah.
He was like, where's your statement on this?
Rashida Tlaib.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And she posted about it on her Facebook.
Uh-huh.
Anyway, we'll mark that.
Um, but, yeah, I mean, like, and it turned out, Rashida Tlaib...
Rashida Tlaib and her were friends.
They, like, worked together.
Uh-huh.
On, like, interfaith shit.
But, like, beyond that, what is, what is, like, I think maybe the funniest is
that Schumer
is just now going into black women's DMs to yell at them.
That is...
That was insane.
Mm-hmm.
Who is that lady that she was just, like, uh, just losing her mind at?
Do you see that?
Yeah, it's just some accent, like, 22-year-old girl.
Yeah, she's like, I'm sorry you have a problem with me posting about my people
being hunted
down and killed.
She's like, I've worked for everything.
I'm a self-made millionaire and the most successful female comedian.
Self-made is funny because of the joke theft thing, too.
Yeah.
Self-made.
She's, uh, she got a couple of assists over the years, from what I understand.
Well, I mean, she's self-made in the sense that she did eat all that food.
I mean, it wasn't other people eating that food to gain the hundreds and
hundreds of pounds
that are required to...
She put in the work.
...to make an Amy Schumer.
I mean, you have to be at the fucking buffet.
You have to, yeah, you got to be talking about 30,000 calories a day, probably.
Some days you wake up, you're like, I don't want to fucking do this.
And you're like, I got to put myself in that golden corral.
I got to go to that sizzler.
Yeah.
It's also, yeah, like, she would be safe if there were another, like, God
forbid, another,
like, holocaust situation, which isn't going to happen.
But if there was, I mean...
She would be safe?
Yeah.
I mean, the kind of environmental, like, catastrophe it would create to burn
her body.
Well, even just to move her.
That would punch a hole in the ozone.
Yeah.
It would never be repaired.
They would have to get one of those...
It would be like setting off of, like, a million nuclear weapons.
Well, they'd probably have to use those buildings where they build airplanes.
Those buildings that are, like, the biggest buildings in the world.
Oh, like a hangar.
Yeah.
They could maybe incarcerate her in a hangar, but they definitely couldn't
transport her
across, you know, state lines or, like, you know...
Yeah.
For anything more than, you know, maybe a couple hundred feet.
Mm-hmm.
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What kind of train could possibly...
What kind of train?
What kind of boxcar could possibly house such a...
There's, like...
Such a...
Such a massive beast.
Like a holocaust revisionist being, like, the bitch too big.
Mm-hmm.
It's impossible.
Yeah.
They're lying on it.
It's like the holocaust happens again.
You see the camps being liberated.
Mm-hmm.
And then, like, it's all these skinny people behind the bars.
And they're like, oh, my God.
They were starving, all of them.
They're like, no.
No, Amy just ate all the food.
She was worse than the Nazis.
Amy was worse than the Nazis.
She kept bossing us around and making us open for her and stealing all of our
jokes.
And I was like, like, train wreck was kind of funny.
Mm-hmm.
But yet again, it's called train wreck.
And what kind of train?
Yeah.
What possible...
What possible...
How could you possibly transport?
Yeah.
Train wreck.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
And that's the thing.
It's like...
I kind of forgot about her until this.
Yeah.
She's, like, telling this other lady, she's like, I'm getting death threats and
all this
stuff.
It's like, nobody's going to act on it.
You're, like, a protected celebrity.
The only celebrities that actually get attacked by people are, like, Bjork.
John Lennon.
Yeah, John Lennon.
It's like...
They're, like, cult of personality musicians.
Right.
It's, like, psycho.
It's not some, like, fucking privileged fatso that does, like, you know...
How would you even describe her comedy?
Lunch break comedy, I guess.
Yeah.
It used to be, like, I Went There kind of thing.
Yeah, I guess.
I don't know.
Inside Amy Schumer is funny.
Yeah, it was funny because...
Hurt.
Well, yeah, Hurt and then also was Jesse Klein.
Funny comedy writer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, there were funny people who wrote for that show.
Yeah.
But, yeah.
Yeah.
But how could...
Once again, how could you possibly even attempt to get inside of her?
Well, through her mouth.
She would eat you.
The mouth.
Yeah.
The mouth, I guess.
But any of the other ports of entry.
Yeah.
Next to impossible.
Mm-hmm.
Also, she was like, and by the way, I'm second cousins with Chuck Schumer.
Yeah.
Now, is there any way we could even tell if it was Amy saying all of these
horribly genocidal things?
Because it could have been that she just ate a Nazi in self-defense, and he's
speaking from inside of her cavernous stomach.
That's a good point.
That is a good point.
Like the...
She could just be taking one of her seasonal post-feast naps.
She could be asleep right now.
She's been hibernating.
Well, yeah.
It's October, right?
The attack happened on October 7th, right?
Correct.
You have to imagine October 1st...
So, she's getting ready for winter.
October 1st rolled around.
Amy had her usual 8 million calorie feast.
Well, you got to sleep.
A feast of the season.
Yeah, yeah.
And then she fell asleep.
She had a nice one, too.
Surf, turf.
She had it all.
She's hibernating somewhere with her mouth open, and she accidentally ate a
racist.
Yeah.
Well, people swallow how many spiders in a lifetime?
Yeah.
You know, at her size, she can get a whole man.
Right.
There's one of them living inside of her stomach, and he's like, we need to
kill all the Arabs.
And people are like, Amy, how could you?
Right.
And maybe you guys are just fat-phobic.
Uh-huh.
And having considered...
What she goes through every day.
Yeah, right.
That she's just asleep, and there's a Nazi in her stomach speaking.
Yeah.
Hey, that's totally possible.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, she could have also just been like, you know, there could be compromise
on her.
Mm-hmm.
She could have seen the wrong things, and now they took her Instagram away.
You know?
Mm-hmm.
She could have been on the island, you know?
She could...
We maybe need to save...
Well, don't you think that either the plane would have crashed or the island
would have
sunk into the ocean?
It's true.
What plane?
What plane?
Yeah, right.
Maybe like a troop transporter kind of vessel?
Perhaps.
Not even big enough.
Perhaps.
What aircraft could support that much mass?
She could have swam there.
How?
With a flock of other whales.
They would have helped her.
She would have communicated with them, and they would have given her directions.
And the other...
A flock of whales.
They would have all swam there together.
It's true.
Yeah.
It's true.
Mm-hmm.
I don't think she...
I think the density is so, like...
I think she goes to the bottom quick.
Mm-hmm.
Train record was pretty good.
She's fat, too.
I don't know if you mentioned that.
She is.
Mm-hmm.
She's quite fat.
And we love her, and we'd love to have her on the show anytime.
Yeah, anytime.
Anytime, Amy.
We could have Amy Schubert.
We invite a diversity of voices and opinions.
The most important, the most successful female comic of all time.
Yeah, that's true.
If you'd like to come on the show, please do.
Who is the most successful female comic?
I don't know.
Joan Rivers?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?

Amy Schumer is the WORST | The Adam Friedland Show

Who are the worst in Hollywood right now for defending Israel?
It's got to be Amy Schumer, Adam Friedland, Brett Gellman.
Why are you putting me on that?
You guys are the top three.
No, I'm just going to see how this plays out.
You're going to see how it plays out.
Some people are really not playing their cards right now.
You've got to see how it plays out.
Some people are being very dumb.
Listen, I'm made for this, guys.
I'm built different.
I've got that dog in me.
And if I've learned anything in life, you've got to see how things play out.
Look, there's two options.
You can actually speak truth to power, or you can pursue a job in the
entertainment industry.
Those are the two options.
If you try to do both, at some point, you're going to have to sell your soul to
work in
the business that famously harbors pedophiles.
Well, we got rid of all of them.
Thank God.
They're all gone now.
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely no more sexual assault in the entertainment industry.
I haven't heard of one since the babe.com Aziz article.
Amy Schumer is really just, apparently they said it's been 50 Instagram posts.
She's done 50.
That's heavy posting.
Yeah.
Well, she's just straight up.
That's hard posting.
She's just being just racist now.
Yeah.
Like, did you see she posted that thing that was like, she posted some article
like demonstrating
that these top donations at these schools were.
Yeah, from Arabs.
Which is like, yeah, they're from fucking Saudis in the UAE.
Does she understand that Arabs have killed so many Palestinians also?
Oh, right.
Well, beyond that.
It's not just team Arab.
But beyond that, half of the Arabs are allied with Israel anyways.
Yeah.
They have diplomatic relations, unofficial, I guess, still diplomatic relations.
I guess they're all the same.
Yeah.
The Arabs.
Yeah.
From Arabs.
And then Meghan McCain posting that like, she's like, she posted it.
Would you hide me?
Yeah.
Yes, I would.
Would you hide me?
I think Meghan McCain's already hiding a bunch of people simply by standing
there.
There's got to be, at any given moment, there has to be five to six hundred
people behind
Meghan McCain that you can't see.
You wouldn't need a secret annex.
They could just put Anne Frank behind her giant fucking ass.
She'd be like, she'd just have to be like one of those birds that lives on top
of a rhino.
Yeah.
But I mean, I don't know.
This behavior is fucking just, it's like egregious.
I mean, it's wild.
It's crazy that it goes one way.
It's fucking wild.
Yeah.
You can say one thing and then lose everything.
And then you can say what she's doing and then she's fine.
Yeah.
Well, even then, it's like, but that's, I don't even want to get it because it's,
that's not
justice.
Oh, we live in a world where they like, you know, you can call if you, like, if
you do
cheerlead the genocide, you lose your job.
I'm not saying she should.
I don't give a fuck about people in the West losing their jobs or keeping their
jobs.
Also, it doesn't matter what comedians think about anything, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're not like, like, I'm not saying she should lose her job.
I'm just saying that everyone else that's saying anything mildly on the other,
from the other
side.
Yeah.
He's getting blackballed.
Yeah.
It's, it's, it's, uh, especially when it's like, protects you from what?
The fucking, like, eight-year-old Palestinian boy that was fucking stabbed to
death three
years, three weeks ago?
Like, that seems to be the only hate crime I've seen thus far related to what's
going
on right now.
I mean, you can argue that the Hamas attack could have, you know, people were
shot at the
bus stops and stuff.
I mean, that's technically...
No, I mean here.
Oh, in America?
Yeah, in the United States.
Oh, the kid in Chicago, yeah.
Yeah, the kid that was in Chicago or Detroit?
I thought Chicago.
I can't remember.
The fact that it was a lion lord.
No, you know what was in Detroit is that, that, uh, it was like a canter or
something.
It was ahead of, like, the Jewish community.
And then that was, like, pitched as, like, oh, see?
And then it turned out...
But it was like Rashida Tlaib got shit from it, from, uh, some people.
And, uh...
Yeah.
You'll figure out why I said that.
Why?
No, nothing.
What?
We'll cut that.
Why?
Because of...
Oh.
Yeah.
He was like, where's your statement on this?
Rashida Tlaib.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And she posted about it on her Facebook.
Uh-huh.
Anyway, we'll mark that.
Um, but, yeah, I mean, like, and it turned out, Rashida Tlaib...
Rashida Tlaib and her were friends.
They, like, worked together.
Uh-huh.
On, like, interfaith shit.
But, like, beyond that, what is, what is, like, I think maybe the funniest is
that Schumer
is just now going into black women's DMs to yell at them.
That is...
That was insane.
Mm-hmm.
Who is that lady that she was just, like, uh, just losing her mind at?
Do you see that?
Yeah, it's just some accent, like, 22-year-old girl.
Yeah, she's like, I'm sorry you have a problem with me posting about my people
being hunted
down and killed.
She's like, I've worked for everything.
I'm a self-made millionaire and the most successful female comedian.
Self-made is funny because of the joke theft thing, too.
Yeah.
Self-made.
She's, uh, she got a couple of assists over the years, from what I understand.
Well, I mean, she's self-made in the sense that she did eat all that food.
I mean, it wasn't other people eating that food to gain the hundreds and
hundreds of pounds
that are required to...
She put in the work.
...to make an Amy Schumer.
I mean, you have to be at the fucking buffet.
You have to, yeah, you got to be talking about 30,000 calories a day, probably.
Some days you wake up, you're like, I don't want to fucking do this.
And you're like, I got to put myself in that golden corral.
I got to go to that sizzler.
Yeah.
It's also, yeah, like, she would be safe if there were another, like, God
forbid, another,
like, holocaust situation, which isn't going to happen.
But if there was, I mean...
She would be safe?
Yeah.
I mean, the kind of environmental, like, catastrophe it would create to burn
her body.
Well, even just to move her.
That would punch a hole in the ozone.
Yeah.
It would never be repaired.
They would have to get one of those...
It would be like setting off of, like, a million nuclear weapons.
Well, they'd probably have to use those buildings where they build airplanes.
Those buildings that are, like, the biggest buildings in the world.
Oh, like a hangar.
Yeah.
They could maybe incarcerate her in a hangar, but they definitely couldn't
transport her
across, you know, state lines or, like, you know...
Yeah.
For anything more than, you know, maybe a couple hundred feet.
Mm-hmm.
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What kind of train could possibly...
What kind of train?
What kind of boxcar could possibly house such a...
There's, like...
Such a...
Such a massive beast.
Like a holocaust revisionist being, like, the bitch too big.
Mm-hmm.
It's impossible.
Yeah.
They're lying on it.
It's like the holocaust happens again.
You see the camps being liberated.
Mm-hmm.
And then, like, it's all these skinny people behind the bars.
And they're like, oh, my God.
They were starving, all of them.
They're like, no.
No, Amy just ate all the food.
She was worse than the Nazis.
Amy was worse than the Nazis.
She kept bossing us around and making us open for her and stealing all of our
jokes.
And I was like, like, train wreck was kind of funny.
Mm-hmm.
But yet again, it's called train wreck.
And what kind of train?
Yeah.
What possible...
What possible...
How could you possibly transport?
Yeah.
Train wreck.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
And that's the thing.
It's like...
I kind of forgot about her until this.
Yeah.
She's, like, telling this other lady, she's like, I'm getting death threats and
all this
stuff.
It's like, nobody's going to act on it.
You're, like, a protected celebrity.
The only celebrities that actually get attacked by people are, like, Bjork.
John Lennon.
Yeah, John Lennon.
It's like...
They're, like, cult of personality musicians.
Right.
It's, like, psycho.
It's not some, like, fucking privileged fatso that does, like, you know...
How would you even describe her comedy?
Lunch break comedy, I guess.
Yeah.
It used to be, like, I Went There kind of thing.
Yeah, I guess.
I don't know.
Inside Amy Schumer is funny.
Yeah, it was funny because...
Hurt.
Well, yeah, Hurt and then also was Jesse Klein.
Funny comedy writer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, there were funny people who wrote for that show.
Yeah.
But, yeah.
Yeah.
But how could...
Once again, how could you possibly even attempt to get inside of her?
Well, through her mouth.
She would eat you.
The mouth.
Yeah.
The mouth, I guess.
But any of the other ports of entry.
Yeah.
Next to impossible.
Mm-hmm.
Also, she was like, and by the way, I'm second cousins with Chuck Schumer.
Yeah.
Now, is there any way we could even tell if it was Amy saying all of these
horribly genocidal things?
Because it could have been that she just ate a Nazi in self-defense, and he's
speaking from inside of her cavernous stomach.
That's a good point.
That is a good point.
Like the...
She could just be taking one of her seasonal post-feast naps.
She could be asleep right now.
She's been hibernating.
Well, yeah.
It's October, right?
The attack happened on October 7th, right?
Correct.
You have to imagine October 1st...
So, she's getting ready for winter.
October 1st rolled around.
Amy had her usual 8 million calorie feast.
Well, you got to sleep.
A feast of the season.
Yeah, yeah.
And then she fell asleep.
She had a nice one, too.
Surf, turf.
She had it all.
She's hibernating somewhere with her mouth open, and she accidentally ate a
racist.
Yeah.
Well, people swallow how many spiders in a lifetime?
Yeah.
You know, at her size, she can get a whole man.
Right.
There's one of them living inside of her stomach, and he's like, we need to
kill all the Arabs.
And people are like, Amy, how could you?
Right.
And maybe you guys are just fat-phobic.
Uh-huh.
And having considered...
What she goes through every day.
Yeah, right.
That she's just asleep, and there's a Nazi in her stomach speaking.
Yeah.
Hey, that's totally possible.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, she could have also just been like, you know, there could be compromise
on her.
Mm-hmm.
She could have seen the wrong things, and now they took her Instagram away.
You know?
Mm-hmm.
She could have been on the island, you know?
She could...
We maybe need to save...
Well, don't you think that either the plane would have crashed or the island
would have
sunk into the ocean?
It's true.
What plane?
What plane?
Yeah, right.
Maybe like a troop transporter kind of vessel?
Perhaps.
Not even big enough.
Perhaps.
What aircraft could support that much mass?
She could have swam there.
How?
With a flock of other whales.
They would have helped her.
She would have communicated with them, and they would have given her directions.
And the other...
A flock of whales.
They would have all swam there together.
It's true.
Yeah.
It's true.
Mm-hmm.
I don't think she...
I think the density is so, like...
I think she goes to the bottom quick.
Mm-hmm.
Train record was pretty good.
She's fat, too.
I don't know if you mentioned that.
She is.
Mm-hmm.
She's quite fat.
And we love her, and we'd love to have her on the show anytime.
Yeah, anytime.
Anytime, Amy.
We could have Amy Schubert.
We invite a diversity of voices and opinions.
The most important, the most successful female comic of all time.
Yeah, that's true.
If you'd like to come on the show, please do.
Who is the most successful female comic?
I don't know.
Joan Rivers?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is the most successful female comic?
Who is t