Name: Nick's Girly Handwriting & Adam's Dad's Journal | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2024-01-05T12:45:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nick's Girly Handwriting & Adam's Dad's Journal | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nick's Girly Handwriting & Adam's Dad's Journal | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-05. Transcript available.

I'm 40 and I'm putting proficiency in Microsoft Word on a resume that I submit
there.
Well, that's not your life.
No, I know.
Nick is an incredible touch typist.
The audience doesn't know that.
Also, he's got girl handwriting.
I don't know if we've ever said that on the show before.
You think I have girl handwriting?
I think you have girl handwriting.
It's beautiful.
It's so tidy.
Your personality is messy handwriting guy.
No, I mean, I have like clean handwriting, but I don't think it's girl
handwriting.
Dude, write a sentence right now on this paper.
I don't have a pen.
Adam, can we get a pen?
Let's get the notebook out of here.
I'm not saying that in a mean way.
I'm saying this as a compliment.
Folks, you already know what's coming.
Dueling handwriting analysis in just a moment.
Oh my God.
As soon as the notebook is out here and this motherfucker wants to start with
me on girl handwriting.
No, it's not a criticism.
No, no, no.
First of all, he puts a heart.
Let the games begin.
Okay, he puts a heart over every I and J.
Lowercase J.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, girl
handwriting.
What does that mean?
Let's hear the most obvious joke.
You write, I saw, I opened a notebook recently.
It said, Mrs. Adam Friedland, Mrs. Adam Friedland, Mrs. Adam Friedland.
You wrote it like, fuck, I was trying to fucking forge your mom's social
security survivor.
She's not my wife.
Yeah, I was trying to steal the money you get for your dead mom from the
government.
She's not Mrs. Adam Friedland.
You were writing that because you said, am I going to live in a mansion, a
house, an apartment, or sewage?
What sentence are you writing?
I'm writing Mrs. Adam Friedland.
Okay.
Mrs.
Can you see that?
Mullen.
Should I write it big?
Should I write it big?
Okay, here.
Hold on, let me write it big so that the camera can see.
All right, so let's do a little comparison.
I don't love my handwriting.
That's girl handwriting.
I don't love my handwriting.
Go up to your camera so they can see.
I don't need to.
I write it big so they can see.
No, let's.
What's that?
I can see it.
That's fine.
You're punching in?
So I'll write it bigger.
And then let's.
This is my impression of Adam's signature.
I changed my signature.
I decided it was embarrassing.
You decided it was embarrassing?
I came up with it when I was like in eighth grade.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, you're not doing my actual.
All right, this is my handwriting.
For your family.
For your family.
For your family.
Yeah, that's not even.
I mean, that's just.
So do some analysis on my handwriting.
I mean, it's funny.
It's like you look at this.
What do you make of that?
If I were an FBI profiler, I would say,
this man has no internal monologue whatsoever.
What do you mean?
You think I'm just an empty vessel?
This is just a fucking.
Yeah.
This is.
This looks like a Chinese person copied letters out of.
Out of like a school workbook with no understanding of the meaning behind them.
I know what that sentence means.
And that's.
Now there's nothing here.
There's no irony there?
That was a genuine sentence that I wrote genuinely with a brain full of love.
How's that Chinese?
Here's Adam's signature.
That's how Adam's signature looks.
What is it?
That's cool.
It's hip hop style.
It's every letter.
No, that's graffiti hip hop style.
Every letter is a different type of nose.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, it is good.
It is good.
The M is really good.
It's like.
What's his name?
That comic strip.
What's his name?
Izzy?
Peanuts.
No, no.
Izzy.
What was that comic strip?
It was about a guy with a nose like that.
Ziggy.
Fuck.
How's your spelling?
Oh, fuck.
I spelled it wrong again.
Am I spelling?
Yeah.
I'm a bad speller.
That's also another thing that I mean.
I got to get another.
I got to get another eye exam.
All right.
Analyze this.
Analyze this.
FBI.
Hey.
You're a.
Hey, you're looking at my penis.
That's good.
Hey, welcome to therapy.
Hey, fuck.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, no.
I have a penis.
Meet the parents.
I have a penis, Greg.
I have a penis.
Can you fuck me?
Do you know that The Sopranos and that came out like within three months?
Analyze penis?
Analyze penis.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They were both about mafiosos showing their penis to Billy.
Well, now I have both notebooks here.
I don't understand what's going on.
Okay.
So because I.
It has every letter in there.
Because I said that he has girl handwriting.
He's trying to do this more guy style.
But it's still.
That's what my handwriting is.
No, it's still girl.
Have me write it.
Have me.
Look, I'll do it with my left hand.
You do B this style?
What?
That's a lowercase.
No, I do a B like that.
What are you doing?
You can't.
You're just doing art always?
Let me see.
You wrote an uppercase B small?
That's how you write B?
That's an uppercase.
That's too creative.
That's an uppercase B.
Brown is not a proper noun.
The quick brown fox?
All the letters in there are uppercase.
I only write uppercase letters.
What are you, fucking Pablo Picasso?
Look at how I write.
None of, I don't use lowercase letters.
You only write an upper?
Yeah, I've always done that.
Really?
When society zigs, you zag.
Well, you just have a choice.
I mean, you don't have to.
You don't have a choice if you want to get an A in penmanship class.
I don't, let me see if I can even remember how to.
You don't know lowercase?
Do you remember cursive?
Yeah, oh, this is weird.
I haven't done this since.
I'm going to do cursive right now.
I haven't seen.
What is it?
Oh, this is like a loopy.
Shit, this looks crap.
Why do they teach cursive?
Yeah, that's what lowercase looks like if I write it.
But I don't recognize that.
That doesn't look like my handwriting to me.
Wow.
You know, you should have been an architect.
You have a very architectural handwriting.
My dad has lovely handwriting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mine, mine, I'm going to write, I'm going to write, dear, dear diary.
Don't, come on.
Dear...
You don't know his internal diary.
You don't know his internal diary.
Diary.
It's me.
Come on, he's a good man.
Max.
Oh, parentheses.
The homo, by the way.
Stop it.
Come on.
Let's keep that between us, diary.
I'm going to call him right now and tell him what you're doing.
The homo, by the way.
He cares a lot about you, Nick.
Let's keep that one between us, eh, old diary, pal?
Oh, okay, because this is his secret diary.
No one's allowed to see it.
Yeah, right.
Of course.
That's funny.
That's really funny.
That one between...
I would never speak this way about your father.
From my lips...
I would respect him.
From my lips to God's penis.
Well, that's it for the day.
Just checking in to let you know I'm gay.
Sincerely, Adam's dad.
So mean, dude.
He's a good guy.
All right, this is my cursive.
No, he was watching the podcast pretty consistently.
What do you think about my cursive?
Didn't we already do this back when Dave was...
No, we did drawings.
We did drawings.
Okay.