Name: Transphobia - Nick Mullen: The Year of the Dragon
Uploaded: 2024-02-09T13:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Transphobia - Nick Mullen: The Year of the Dragon' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Transphobia - Nick Mullen: The Year of the Dragon' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-09. Transcript available.

That's wild that they whipped everybody up into a fervor about that.
People didn't even know what transgender was five years ago.
They're like, something new, not on my watch.
They're just fucking mad at me.
Yeah, they're going crazy.
They're boycotting everything, saying everything's turning people gay.
The Target one's the big one.
I don't understand that boycott,
because initially I thought it was over, like, Gay Pride Month,
but Target's done Gay Pride forever.
And then I looked into it more,
and the conservatives are boycotting Target
because of something called tuck-friendly bathing suits.
Did you see that?
That they're mad at tuck-friendly bathing suits?
And that kind of shocked me,
because I'm like, what the fuck is a tuck-friendly bathing suit?
Like, do I just have the smallest dick in the entire world?
That I can't imagine I would have a problem
hiding my penis in a regular women's bathing suit?
I've never looked at a woman's bathing suit
and been like, yeah, no chance, dude, no way.
Yeah, not gonna happen.
And then apparently they're for children also.
I can understand why they're mad.
If I was in Target and I heard a lady being like,
excuse me, my son's dick is too big for the bathing suit?
I'd be like, I'm never coming back to this fucking store again.
I'm going back to GameStop where I belong.
Yeah, my son's penis is hanging out of the back.
It's coming out.
It's snaked around to the top, my son's giant penis.
But, yeah, I don't understand transphobia, you know?
And I say I don't understand transphobia
and it sounds like I'm coming from a place of moral high ground,
but really I don't understand it like as an abstraction,
like on a conceptual level, you know?
Like in the same way that I don't really understand gravity.
You're like, you can explain it to me, but like I don't,
like what is gravity?
Like fat people just have a secret energy
that for some reason the Earth is like,
that's the one, give me, I want his,
I want his power, give it to me.
And then the moon comes by and he's like,
ah, we meet again and then they fight over him
and then somehow that's how women have periods
is how gravity,
and I guess, yeah, transphobia, same thing.
Because I'll be honest with you,
I kind of don't even really understand
what a trans person is anymore.
And I mean, I try to keep up,
I try to be progressive and like read the definitions,
but there's too many syllables.
I don't know what you're saying.
I'm an idiot.
I have to understand things in simple terms, right?
And in basic terms, what is a trans person?
Somebody that's so disappointed by their genitals
that they're suicidal?
Isn't that just fucking everybody in the world?
Isn't that everybody?
Every person that's ever lived?
If I think about the amount of times in my life
I've looked at my dick and said,
ah, fuck it, maybe I'll just kill myself.
Maybe I'll just end it right now.
And now they got a parade for guys like me?
Great, I'll take that.
You can keep the bathing suit,
but I'll take that parade, pal.
Now they're passing all these laws,
these anti-trans laws.
And it's weird too,
because none of them are consistent, right?
Like they each have a different fucked up law.
Like Tennessee will be like,
they're not allowed to eat rich crackers anymore.
We're taking that away.
That's the Tennessee move, I guess.
But yeah, they all got them.
North Carolina was the first.
They passed the first anti-trans bill,
HB2,
which banned trans people from every bathroom,
which that seems like the worst option, probably.
They're going to go to the bathroom somewhere, right?
Now every time you step in dog shit in North Carolina,
you got to be like,
oh, I hope that was a dog.
It's just maybe a Great Dane.
It has that kind of give to it.
Maybe it was Beethoven
and not a very angry lady, hopefully.