Name: How to Save the Adam Friedland Show | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2024-02-18T13:00:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How to Save the Adam Friedland Show | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How to Save the Adam Friedland Show | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-18. Transcript available.

I found a way for us to save the show. I'm talking money. I don't care anymore.
Listen. All right. Okay. So YouTube assigns everyone value. Every viewer value.
Here's what the plan is. The realistic plan. Okay. Because the main issue is
the overhead,
right? Sure. And like eventually we won't be able to pay the rent and they're
going to come
and kick us out of here. Yeah. Tarantula eggs everywhere. Okay. Fill this
motherfucker with
spiders. Uh-huh. See, I feel like that's preventive. I'm like, oh yeah, go
ahead. Come. Yeah.
Come, come evict me. Yeah. Come, yeah. Have fun. Yeah. Have fun. Uh-huh. Poisonous
fucking spiders
everywhere. I thought they're non-venom. I thought tarantulas are the nice kind,
no? They're nice?
I thought so. Do you think tarantulas are nice? Tarantulas are the kind that
can't, they're
not black widows or whatever. Hmm. No, I don't think so. No, the biggest
spiders, they have
the most poison. Hmm. I don't know. I'm not like a bugs guy. I don't know about
that shit
really, but we'll look it up. Okay. Google assigns everyone a value. Okay. I
found this out
yesterday, right? So our fans, these people are barely employed, right? These
people are
the dregs of society, right? Mm-hmm. So when they automate revenue for ads,
right, these people
are getting fractions of a cent, right? Because they are not part of the
economy. They are the
fringes of society. Perhaps not even part of society. Mm-hmm. Um, some people
would call
them mole people, perhaps. Okay? The most valuable consumer, right? As, as, uh,
determined
by their algorithm are... Wine, my stay-at-home wine ladies. No. People that
buy cat scan machines,
CT scan machines. Right? Doctors? Doc... Well, yes. Powerful doctors. Doctors
that have sway
at a hospital and say, like, this is the, this is the new GE that I want to buy.
So what we
need is, we need all these guys to start Googling CT scan machine technology.
Um, yeah, these kind
of MRI machine technology, get that in their search algorithm. Maybe do it a
couple thousand
times. Then each view of each video is $100. For every one of these guys. If an
MRI machine
doc... Oh, this is an algorithm. Yeah. If an MRI machine purchaser, if they've
determined you're
a guy that has the power to buy, uh, uh, expensive medical equipment, and you
watch a YouTube video,
that guy gets paid $100. Mm. So that's what we need to do. If we can convince
the algorithm
that all of our fans are powerful doctors, we will be making millions of
dollars in no time.
Yeah. Makes sense to me. Why is that? Because I think those machines are
hundreds of millions
of dollars? I don't know. But like the advertisers for CT machines are like,
that just, what I,
you tell me that, and that tells me that the companies that sell these machines
are being
completely ripped off. Okay. Let's forget about the companies getting ripped
off. Well, no,
how about this? Here's a better, here's a better, here's a better deal. Instead
of the CT, whoever
makes, if you make CT scan machines, General Electric, whoever it is. Yeah. And
you're paying
a hundred dollars per view. How about this? $50. You can pay us directly. Pay
us directly.
Pay us directly. We'll do a live read for whatever you want. Yeah. You pay us,
that's gotta be,
you gotta be spending hundreds of millions of dollars a year on, what, Fighter
and the Kid?
Who, what, who's looking up their own CT scan machine?
I don't know. Whatever, in their algorithm through what you Google, through how
you use the internet,
they can determine whether or not you're a person that has a kind of purchasing
power,
or sway, when it comes to medical equipment that's worth hundreds of millions
of dollars.
So, what we have to do is just trick the algorithm into thinking that all our
fans are these people.
Did you know it's Grom, it's birthday? No way. February 12th.
We'll see you next time.