Name: The State of US Politics & Discourse | Kurt Metzger on The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2024-04-03T13:45:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The State of US Politics & Discourse | Kurt Metzger on The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The State of US Politics & Discourse | Kurt Metzger on The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-03. Transcript available.

have you watched any of the new daily show with john seward he's hosting on
mondays it's great
you don't like it great like great how it's just what we used to love it's good
were you a fan of
the daily show back in the day or no like john i actually liked you know i
actually liked um
colbert better me too because and i like here's why here's why but you mean the
colbert report
not not yes whatever this but the reason was the because at the old daily show
these i don't know
who the guy is but i've been at the emmys with the rut you know all the writers
are there there was
this one guy who was like a crazy guy that knew everything because i was like
who watches the
news to get these clips and that guy went to the colbert report yeah okay so so
uh but now so
because i do jimmy door show three times a week and i have ptsd every single
day from like the actual
news being raped by jimmy door and also the constant rate well i i that i just
look at it as he's like
you got to help oh my legs aren't working you got to come help me with them my
back's acting up
look look just abusing you like i'm not like one of these uh zoomer chert come
in here my legs are
acting up again look if i need you to wash my penis with your mouth look if it
was my idea to do it i
don't call it a rape that's bottom line i asked for it i wanted it i knew what
i was doing yeah it's
like a more of a your bottom you're topping from the bottom kind of situation
because we're covering
actual real news yeah um when i watch somebody like john stewart who's like
smart enough to know
better than the dumb like bill moore doesn't know anything bill moore and kid
rock have the same
knowledge of the world as chelsea handler they're all smarter than deniro deniro
i watched bill moore
asking robert deniro what he thinks about yeah but he's robert deniro why yeah
you know it's like
if the guy from being there remember being there with peter sellers yeah
imagine if that guy chauncey
chauncey gardener if instead of just saying gardening terms that you mistake is
intelligent
he actually did try to talk about real politics yeah that's what and it's bill
moore's fault for
talking to him but bill moore doesn't know shit about shit john stewart i
already know from talking
to people that work for him so john stewart uh he's he did that great kind of
goes we know it came from
a lab and colbert got freaked out right john stewart got punished for that in a
big way that's why
he had to hang a medal on a nazi at disney world what you don't know this no
nobody knows anything
they made him hang a well i yeah dude it's the funniest all i said is that he's
funny yeah he's
just doing a new hour no no i said the daily show but the thing is good at that
job it's not it would
be funny if he was talking about anything that was real but he won't so his
jokes dude his fucking
shit he said because when tucker went to russia which is by the way doing
better than ever thanks
great job everyone he this fuckwit goes oh their subway is nicer yeah ours is
urinal cakes whatever
but that's the price of freedom he you didn't see that when tucker went to russia
yeah john stewart
criticizing him tucker was being embarrassing though he was smelling the bread
and saying how much better
the bread smell that well it's embarrassing because you live in a shithole
called new york
that's way worse i go to the best restaurants in the world russia seems like it's
fucking lame to me
yeah it seems like it's black and white dude i gotta tell you i don't give a
fuck about ukraine but
also fuck russia i'm not even saying this in a political sense i've never cared
about any of
them but just so you know nice place okay look here look let me explain real
quick okay um i don't give
a shit about any of them okay never gave a shit but literally every single
thing and especially john
stewart and the others that they talk about going on there is completely wrong
and a lie i mean
everything so if you know that it's a fucking lie and you're watching a guy you
think is funny
and no shit doesn't know anything and is going to on purpose not learn anything
on a news show
it makes me go like fuck you you understand so that's why it's not funny to me
because it's so
like you're just what did he what did john stewart lie about though with ukraine
he didn't lie he was
just making showing clips from tucker and and making jokes by the way like i'm
not i have no
interest in defending i'm genuine first of all for these that live here to be
mad that tucker
talked to putin is tucker not qualified to talk to putin i don't care about
that well why do they
care about it did you have any idea why because they're the bad guy because
because because
tucker did something it's okay tucker could interview the yellow eminem and
they'd say oh
wow how dare you talk to him he kills children sometimes yeah well it's not
just that it's that
though for sure but also because why why can't it be wait wait i'll answer you
if you let me go ahead
okay you've been uh you know i don't want to i don't want to compare this to israeli
invasion of
something as a jew he thinks all conversation belongs to him no yeah he thinks
it's his i was
just asking we invented talking 2000 years his birthright so so i watched we
couldn't we didn't
know how to form so we just i watched the whole fucking tucker interview with
putin i didn't watch it
okay great so this is what this is what a fuckwit especially here in new york
if we're a fuckwit
country this is i watched like people talk about like oh putin starts going
this long thing about
history and i was like yeah of course that seems ridiculous because listen to
kamala harris describe
what happened well basically a larger country went to a small country and that's
wrong that's a quote
she said that yeah see exactly okay so she's fucked up on pills all the time
yeah oh well that makes it okay because she's the vice president and yes
because first of all this
is a country yeah i mean this i mean this but being a a victim of the opiate
crisis is the only ethical
way to participate in american culture that's it so for to have somebody in the
office of the vice
president that's clearly just up on vicodin 24 7. you think it's vicodin i
thought it was
alcohol uh i think it's pills yeah i was hooked on oxycontin for four years 30
milligrams eight pills
a day that's more though that's more that's like serious drugs no come on harris
is an idiot she
can't do anything yeah just biden is dead but he speaks better than her when
she starts talking it
sounds like they just told her like you're as a comedy movie where she has to
fake she's the vice
president you got to talk about the situation whatever you know uh so we're
here at the place
where we are yeah and doing the thing that we do okay thanks to me that's
awesome this is somebody
that that polled at what one percent one percent she failed she did worse than
milk
she pulled at one percent but that's why that is still gets to be the vice
president and then she's
getting up why is she the vice president because of forced diversity in gaming
in gaming yeah she's
like a sweet baby character yeah yeah but there's a certain level of people
being incompetent when i'm
like you know what good for you but it isn't that traditionally besides cheney
like the vice
president has to do those jobs right the vice president like they like biden
sent her to the
border he's like yeah go fix that hahaha you know okay well it's kind of like
it's like mayor of new
york no one ever likes the very obviously if you watch biden you're having to
talk like oh the president
is laying in charge of nothing the only reason trump got in and this isn't a
conspiracy it's in hillary's
emails that that that they said on tv don't read them it's like looking at
their revenge porn if you
read her emails if you didn't look at them you're a idiot unless you don't care
about that's fine but
yeah if you care about why didn't you look at it you should you don't want to
know what's in there
well what's in there is uh the pied piper strategy they wanted trump to run
again nobody wanted to vote for
hillary okay sure the kind of demented broads that freeze their eggs and live
in new york yeah we all
know very spider women yeah spider women that find her inspiring that kind of
demented fucking slag
they so so to force you the big idea was to force people to vote for hillary
because trump is so
objectionable yeah sure okay and um it backfired big time yeah and i remember
watching people flip the
fuck and i was here when people couldn't believe jennifer was on race wars yeah
yeah election night
that was one of the were you with us oh yeah and people are like can you not
speak right now telling
you telling white guys that we're not allowed to speak will said you know what
that is funny it was
like there's this picture of like the french the day after the nazis occupied
france and they're just
they're just like in paris and they're just like looking at the nazi officers
like we have lost france
but that was can we still fuck kids that was brooklyn one of our friends gave
like 50 to a
homeless boy it was more than that it was like 200 it was insane no he wasn't
homeless he wasn't
home oh he wasn't even homeless he wasn't homeless a black guy gave hundreds of
dollars to some black
guy because trump won on the street yeah and he was like oh okay and he took it
and then he turned in
the bar he's like no i'm not working tonight yeah so okay that employee of the
bar yeah i can't even call
that s'more toward it that is um the the original and still that night was the
funniest night so that
stupid i kept like looking around like a felix clock like i'm like is this are
you guys seriously
you were smoking a cigarette outside i remember so so look there's nothing dumber
than a new york
liberal and la used to be the the dumber place by a lot yeah it's not anymore i'm
just here to tell
you it's not and the reason new york is dumber is because you know well but
that's a macro causing
the reason is to live here i lived here for 20 years you lived here a while
sure to survive here
you have to just not see things in front of your face yeah like prison if you
want a dry snitch by
like even looking too much yeah so just that way of living long enough now this
is the most demented
not looking at reality time i've ever seen in new york ever last night i'm
sitting there with che and
those snl people they're like uncomfortable talking about the p diddy charges
okay they don't the we're
talking about that bridge thing they don't know anything and it's inconvenient
if you bring up a
fact yeah that's it like they got to quick make a joke and stomp on it you're
saying like people are just
looking down like when they see like someone jacking off on the subway they're
just like
dude it's like my old joke about where i was like i'm gonna make eye contact i
was fisting his own
assholes and i'm like whoop don't do that again
you