Name: Conspiracy Guys - Nick Mullen: The Year of the Dragon
Uploaded: 2024-06-05T14:00:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Conspiracy Guys - Nick Mullen: The Year of the Dragon' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Conspiracy Guys - Nick Mullen: The Year of the Dragon' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-05. Transcript available.

It's funny, I think about it, that's probably where my conspiratorial thinking
started,
was when I was a young boy at the public pool.
Because you remember that? You remember going to the pool, there would always
be like a teacher's pet kid
that was like, you know, if you pee in the pool, there's a chemical in the
water
that turns your pee red, and the lifeguard will see it, and they'll send you to
jail, right?
And then you're like, oh my God, I don't want to go to jail, I'm six.
I can't... I'll be waiting.
I can't be a six-year-old in jail.
I won't stand a chance, I don't know.
So you don't pee in the pool, right?
And then everybody's getting fucking UTIs because of this one liar, this piece
of shit fucking liar,
and then halfway through the summer, there's like one brave summer day where
you're like,
okay, fuck it, I'm just going for it, right?
And then you look down, and it's fine, and you're like, dude, fuck the
government.
Yeah.
9-11 was an inside job.
Now I know the truth.
I'll march right up to Donald Rumsfeld and piss my pants in his face.
I don't care.
I got it.
What happened to the 9-11 guys?
I guess they were just proven right.
That's just common knowledge.
You just go up to somebody's grandma, you're like, you know George Bush is a
lizard?
And they're like, yes, yes, I know.
These, they're all lizards, and they did 9-11.
I'm fully aware, thank you.
The 9-11 conspiracy guys, they had a weird trajectory, right?
Because they kind of like, they really just like fell off hard and fast.
Remember it was like the year after 9-11, they were producing like feature
length beautiful
documentaries on YouTube?
That was the only thing on YouTube when it started.
It was like child pornography and, and, and then beautiful 9-11 documentaries.
And now it's the biggest company in the world.
Yeah, they made these great documentaries.
And then three years after that, a 9-11 conspiracy theorist was just the dumbest
guy you know,
folding up a $20 bill, trying to show you, trying to show you an optical
illusion.
Do you know any guys like that?
Yeah, I had a friend that would do that.
He'd be like, dude, you gotta see this.
This is gonna blow your mind.
He spends all his time folding up a $20 bill, he shows it to me.
He's like, doesn't it look like the tower's on fire?
He's like, no, it looks like your parents should switch to direct deposit.
I don't know what you're saying.
Why they're giving you cash to do this with.
But that was always so funny to me, because it's like, like, what do you think
happened?
Right?
Like, the fucking CIA was like, okay, plan's ready to go.
Ready to blow up the World Trade Center.
There's only one step left.
The clues.
Yep.
Yeah, it's clue time.
It's time to get the clues out there.
So, we're gonna have the Treasury team up with Mad Magazine to create a fold-in
on the money to tip off this unemployed man.
He's going around.
He's like, look, it's the Illuminati.
And you're like, actually, it's origami.
And it's all right, it's all right.
It's all right.