Name: Kamala Harris Wins & MAGA Ends | Ari Shaffir on The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2024-08-04T19:32:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kamala Harris Wins & MAGA Ends | Ari Shaffir on The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kamala Harris Wins & MAGA Ends | Ari Shaffir on The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-04. Transcript available.

i get the sense that's what that 2025 thing is project where it's like seven
people are talking
about it and then both sides are using it as like bait so it becomes way way
bigger i have no idea
what it is i don't care trump's not going to win i think it's uh we're just
going to be dragged into
a never ending another never ending war in the middle east and yeah we're
headed we're not really
out of that yet are we um well i mean that's like the thing biden did get us
out of afghanistan
that's what getting out of afghanistan looks like it looks like a bunch of
people hanging off a
fucking plane and dropping to their death and the taliban getting a bunch of
military equipment but
we're out of afghanistan it's like you would we would just continue kicking the
can down the road
forever yeah where it's like oh well we're keeping a there's like a
consultation group there and we'll
keep like a security forces there oh there's an insurgency okay well we'll send
more troops over
to deal with that it would just be fucking indefinite it would go forever yeah
but yeah i mean i don't
know are we going to war with iran it seems like very clear there that whoever
has the money wants
there to be a big fucking conflagration yeah it does seem like that i remember
when like the smartest
thing was trying to get into syria the smartest thing iran could do is nothing
if they just did
nothing in response they were like ah this sucks it would kind of the united
states would have to be like
well we're invading iran anyways we're doing it anyways we're just gonna do it
anyways
which will probably happen which will probably for quite a while i mean it's
insane it's like and then
it gets more desperate as like i don't do you think there were somebody was
trying to kill trump other
than this fucking crooks guy i don't know what i don't i can't even begin to
get into that but like
as soon as it happens you get fucking john bolton and and blink and going to
the news being like well
um well you know i mean iran has been trying to kill him iran not that they're
saying that they did it
but but it could have been iran they're just like using that to try and
manufacture consent for this
fucking i have been saying if for a while if china or russia i but i guess iran
would go to like
any enemy of america really wanted to defeat us they would make an
assassination chip on trump
and make it look like a democrat yeah and then just watch us all like deal with
each other what
like a civil war and i don't think that i don't think like all the the will for
any kind of civil war
revolution doesn't exist in america and it never will it just won't happen
pretty lazy it just yeah
well it just won't happen i mean it's like january 6th and the blm riots as
close as you get and they
didn't and that they did not even get it was at a risk of really toppling the
government it was never
gonna fuck like all right let's go out the back door these idiots are out front
yeah even if they
were back this afternoon even if they had killed nancy pelosi yeah it still
wouldn't have amounted to
anything it would have been like that's nuts it is crazy that the guy who like
listen if i'm trying to
stab you yeah or a president i'm trying to say and i get so i need a knife i
need to get close and i try
to lunge at him and somebody stopped me they'd be like oh shit well you got
closed but somebody
stopped you yeah but if i like missed with a knife it'd be like kind of it's
kind of weird yeah people
just went with sniper yeah and got a clear shot yeah and then just didn't hit
was he just kind of good
at sniping the roof was very hot i imagine it was probably just uncomfortable
yeah i was imagine it was
very uncomfortable even in my current apartment i went back to just sleeping on
the floor
because i got used to it he just he just wakes up like the crib keeper yeah and
then last like a
year and a half ago i got a real mattress yeah and like it fucked my back up
really yeah it was like
a uh like a three month a job i bought like a nice mattress i got like a not
like a i know mattresses
get really spent i spent six grand on getting one of those like sealy black
mattresses yeah
and then for yeah six weeks like i heard these be sealy indian mattresses and
just recently have they
uh converted over to see the black mattresses sealy indian mattresses what does
that mean
it's a kamala harris donald trump joke i don't i'm oh oh yeah black indian okay
yeah yeah i was you
know i'm just i'm thinking i'm like is the mattress stinky does it's there's a
match is it a diarrhea
man i don't understand what what you're saying yeah yeah you're right they just
they just converted i mean
that's the that is the most insane angle of attack it's funny because somebody
i know so i'm friends
with mostly liberals and and they were like why would he go on there he's not
going to win them
over i'm like he's not trying to win them over he's trying to make them make
clips for his own
fan base that's all they're doing is making clips for him for the people who
are like i might not go
out and vote this year they're like i will this guy rules what's really going
to be disappointing
for them is like when donald trump loses yeah and then there's not even there's
not even
another january 6 like that's like that's not going to happen yeah you know
there's going to be
nothing there's not even going to be like a big push from right-wing media to
dispute the results of
the election they're just going to go right into calling kamala a shitty
president but like it's
going to be the end of this whole like maga strain because there's no heirs to
the throne
there's no trump can't even do it anymore right he'll be too old in four more
years he's already
kind of too old yeah but he can't even do it now it's like the the like i mean
that guy used to
fucking take shots it's kind of like danny devito still being like the weirdo
and it's like nah you're
just fat no people people are like oh he's already there's a club he goes
laughing kamala i call her
laughing kamala because she's always laughing she's crazy you know and it's
like compare that to like
the shit he was saying in 2016 yeah it was nuts you know it was like it was
like early milo yeah
i never liked that guy i always thought he was a dork i know you're friends
with him i loved him
he was he was making people so mad i loved it oh he wasn't though yes he was
some people cried over
his fucking i don't care attitude stuff would happen online yeah and then he
would come in and be like
look what i'm doing you know and it's like no this is just happening right now
i remember you telling
me he's like i came up with it no he didn't come up with it no i didn't say he
came up with it he
he's fucking pretending up with it and he was taking credit for this was a guy
along this was a guy
trying to take credit the internet did things on its own and this motherfucker
when he when he was told
to shut up on some panel show because like we're talking about women's issues
right now you need to
shut up because you're a man he goes and he just waited you know what he is and
then he was like
men are also all filled this place right now some lady was like i don't think i
goes uh excuse me
we're talking about men now so you need to shut up yeah and they were like he's
brandon mordell dude
he's the same as brandon mordell he's a guy that sees internet stuff he's like
that's me and it's
like well no it's everybody it belongs to everybody belongs to everybody you
can't take that for
yourself i don't know i'm enough to know yeah yeah i'm basically just going off
to think because you
told me that i'm like he didn't come up with that he found himself he didn't
come up fortune came up
with it but you were saying he told you that he came up with it no i remember
you i was just when he
did it you came up to me and you're like he came up with it i'm like no no no
fake news
he's a fucking he was like okay let's all try to push this and he goes oh shit
i'm right behind
the president right now the fucking republican president i'll just do it and i'll
let the
internet run with it yeah yeah he helped it he buddy you don't know how backtracky
i am
you can't pin mad on backtrack i'm not trying to pin anything on good luck
because you won't
yeah i'm not trying to pin anything sounds like you were trying to pin a medal
i think i've made
my point about about mr steely mr steely meme mr mr i'm gonna fucking point at
memes and say look
what i'm doing uh get your hair hippie i have to i got to
what i'm doing uh get your hair hippie i have to i got to pin a medal i have to
i got to
get your hair hippie i have to i got to pin a medal i have to i got to pin a
medal i have to
get your hair hippie i have to i got to pin a medal i have to i got to pin a
medal i have to
get your hair hippie i have to i got to pin a medal i have to i got to pin a
medal i have to