Name: Short Kings: A History | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2024-11-23T13:00:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Short Kings: A History | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Short Kings: A History | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-23. Transcript available.

what part of the boot you from no idea really yeah i'm not super italian i just
have like a
very italian last name oh so is my girlfriend she has the last name but she's
it's only
from her dad's dad but the rest is 75 irish something right so i'm also hungarian
hungarian victor orbon for my mother's mother yeah really so she made goulash
for you no i'm
more italian than hungarian oh she made gravy for you she made gravy yeah oh
nice my mom actually
used to make goulash growing up it was great i've never had it it's good you
should go to little
poland on uh second ave yeah i don't think i'm gonna do that but why why i don't
feel like i'm
in the era for trying new stuff you don't want to go on a double day with me
and nick and get some
goulash it's lunch that's not really trying new things i like having no culture
i'm just a new
new yorker i'm not italian or hungarian so what do you just eat like fucking
pepperidge farm products
all day long i don't like no culture yeah you've cut off all i've got no
culture we're obsessed with
culture yeah nice what do you feel is most i still eat hamburger fried chicken
but i use kente cloth
is to wipe my face yeah that's how i get my cultural i have a kente napkin what
are you i don't know irish
he's yeah i mean yes but just like the broad i'm just a white man i would say
that i identify more
as a white man than how do you feel like it is to be a white man right now oh
my god it's always
fine we just won it's fine and i'm not saying that i'm not saying that in a
self-flagellating
way i'm a white male millionaire it's like i'm fine i'll probably be fine being
white i think you're
only gonna do better yeah for you i think it's like if you're doing fine now it's
gonna and you
want us to do fine and i don't mean as white man i mean as a white man under
five foot eight
because when things are not going good for that group that's not me wait are
you under five eight
yes i'm five you're taller yeah i know it's a trick that i play it's a trick
well it's working
you've tricked me you've tricked me he's wearing it only works on hungarians
yeah it's a dumb race
they're very susceptible yeah yeah yeah i also love you you've seen the
illusionist right so you know
that hungarian prince he's like i need to know how the magic is done that's
because it drives them
insane yeah yeah i love it because they think it's real i thought you're at
least five ten five eleven
no no no i'm much shorter five i say five three but it's it's like five it's
four eleven and a half
yeah wow he's shakira's yeah but when i tell you when white guys under five
foot eight are not doing
well it's uh you know that's where you get hitler i don't know if there is hitler
putin mlk
he's doing great though he's five foot seven no you look it don't say that
about him look it up
you can't say that look it up no it's not right to say martin luther king jr no
hence the junior
was five foot seven oh his dad was six three his dad was a normal size but
junior junior was five
eight right on the junior junior it's like it's like saying lil right no he was
not five seven you
know how there's sylvester the cat and then sylvester jr yeah that's kind of
that was there
if you see them side by side martin luther king senior and martin luther king jr
it's very much
sylvester and sylvester jr pete is that five seven i feel like we shouldn't say
it why shouldn't you
say it because he's still a king he's a tiny king i don't know if you should
say he's five seven but i
did he did great things and i agree the civil rights act i mean like yeah then
if you're short
and you could do something like that that's even more impressive the fact that
hitler was so tiny and
still had all this power so you're impressed by you're impressed i went to alcatraz
last weekend
and i went to alcatraz i've been there too it's i that was the most i enjoyed
it so much it's really
bad there uh i like when they let you go in the cell and the cells are all for
tiny guys yeah there's
i'm looking at it i'm like if you're six two you would die in here immediately
you wouldn't die you'd
just be sitting a lot yeah it wouldn't be great for your your legs so you're
impressed by hitler
i mean take away the bad you don't have to be such free speech comedy right now
listen this isn't that
kind of show i'm just being honest we're not in austin texas the fact that he
could garner all that
attention and get people to do what he wants is pretty impressive he was a real
showboat
he was a real drama queen you're trying to say get me to say hey hitler i'm
just not gonna do it you
like i'm just not gonna do it so don't even waste your time so you think mlk
was short hitler was a
powerful man you think he put up numbers that's what you're saying he put up
numbers three pointers
every day you agree with the six million but you're impressed by it i agree he
killed all those people
why wouldn't anti-semites say that it wasn't real he why would they say like
that's awesome it was so
many right why is it denial they should be like i you know he he should have
finished the job but
nobody really talks about stalin and he killed way more people he people talk
didn't kill him but when
people talk about that they go oh nobody talks about stalin or now it's like
people constantly talk
about stalin or now they do but hitler is the guy that you think of when you
think of someone that's
terrible yeah that's the guy you use because it's easier it's easier to
understand it's like
okay so stalin killed 20 million people what kind of people you're like oh well
they're like
liens cossacks and you're like there's too many letters and whatever yeah i don't
even know what
that is i don't know like jews it's four letters i just want stalin to get his
flowers you can kind
of see yourself doing it that's i think the main thing with him is you're like
i kind of well i
couldn't be that bad you know what i mean oh he he really blacked out on that
one fucking when he
popped all the way off yeah and so it's it's more it's like when you watch a
video of a drunk person
having a meltdown in public you're like oh that could have been me you know
what i mean and so
that's that's what resonates with people when they see hitler because there's
something about him that
makes them disgusted with themselves whereas i have no idea stalin killed 20
million people and it's
like give stalin his flowers he could have killed 20 million aliens it doesn't
they still count he
sent them to go fight in the war and they all died and it won the war i'm not
gonna get me to hate
stalin either i don't i i love the man he's a great man have you seen young stalin
look up a picture
i have a joke about how hot he is he's delicious the hottest guy i've ever seen
stalin is better looking than you we don't look i don't know stalin looks like
nick and young trotsky
looks like me he's i just have a mustache and he has glasses i don't look it up
people have made
memes about it stalin was i know he was also short five four disgusting but i
would have still had
sex with him and he had a like you would have rode him like a bike also yeah i
would have let him i would have
given him around on my back i would have carried him around after you would
have
he had like a club club foot too amazing yeah you're not gonna get me to hate
stalin you know
he went to you guys are trying to get me to hate all these i'm not trying to
get you i'm giving you
information i'm not trying to do anything short i knew all of them are short
oddly enough mal 65 really yeah not attracted to him at all yeah come on the
man was a he was
undeniable he was like a big burly i want a short dictator yeah five five nick
you're lying on his
ass i'm not lying on his ass why that's what happens he gets an extra inch from
the prosthetic
soviet socialist you know come on i'm a tanky you know that dude okay you can't
be saying a five four
is a five five is a five four all right you're trying that's revisionist bro
all right