Name: Adam Survived A Terrorist Attack | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2024-11-30T21:25:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Adam Survived A Terrorist Attack | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Adam Survived A Terrorist Attack | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-30. Transcript available.

There was an IT guy at my old job who used to say, oh, I see you're still using
Internet
Exploder.
And I was like, this guy has to have the most miserable life in the world.
He must make that joke 50,000 times a day.
No one's laughed yet.
Was that a discovery?
When I was at Discovery.
Yeah.
You were at the Discovery Network?
Yeah.
Family of networks.
Wow.
I survived a terrorism attack.
Really?
Yeah, a guy came in with a bomb.
To take down Discovery?
A vest.
Yeah, there was a Korean guy who got really mad about the show, The Duggars
Show.
Because they had 18 kids, right?
They had 18 kids.
But he was like, if you care about, if you're for conservation, you shouldn't
be celebrating
these freaks, which is kind of a fair point.
And he had a manifesto.
I read it.
And every manifesto of the first half makes sense.
Well, he was right because they were pedophiles.
And then he starts talking about the fishies and the duckies.
Oh, this is real.
Yeah, I know.
He was in it.
This is not a joke.
And then he came to the, I think like six months before that, he was throwing
like $50
bills in the air.
And he's like, I'm giving money to someone that can make a better show than the,
he was
really mad at the Duggars.
And then he came in with a bomb and took the, uh, it didn't explode.
He took like two or three people hostage.
And, uh, then SWAT team headshot.
So is it in the lobby?
He got headshotted?
In the lobby, yeah.
Jesus.
And then the, the, the hostages got to go on Oprah.
How does SWAT team work?
It's like, so these guys do like, they're employed and then they'd have nothing
to do.
Once you kill your 10th black guy as a cop, you become a SWAT team.
But then you'd have nothing to do all year until the off chance somebody like
this and
then you're just rainbow six for, you know?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, yeah.
They're probably so stoked when a Korean guy gets the best.
Yeah.
And you get to show up in the big ice cream truck.
That's the best part.
That fucking murdered out ice cream truck.
But the Korean guy was kind of a hero because he was anti this child abuse
people, the Duggars.
He was ahead of his time.
He didn't know that and I don't think it was nice to bring another bomb into my
work.
And they redid the lobby because they were like, we need a new decor because it's
going
to remind you.
Why didn't he pull the cord on the bomb?
Why didn't he do it?
I think he was wearing like a, like he was doing a Sea-Doo, like usually it's a
life jacket.
He literally just, no.
It was just a fake bomb.
No, no.
I think he had like a suicide trigger or something.
I don't know how they dealt with that.
What a coward not to do it.
I mean.
You built the bomb.
You spent hours in his basement.
It would have been cool.
We got the rest of the week off.
I came into work the next day.
They had bagels.
They were like, you need to eat.
It was like the most Jewish response to a trauma.
Just make sure you're eating.
We got ping pong in the break room now.
Yeah.
I got the rest of the week off.
I was on the top floor.
Literally the safest place in the office.
Full disclosure.
Yeah.
I, and I escaped.
Could have taken the whole building down.
I escaped.
Wow.
And those lucky bastards.
Yeah.
That were taken hostage.
Got to go on Oprah.
Damn.
And just act about, act, I don't know, meet the lady.
I also, I met.
Is that where, that's where Oprah showed up at the office?
She showed up at the office and I was in an elevator with her.
And like my whole life I was like, boy, I was like Bill Burr about her.
I was like, what are these broads listening to this fat soul about?
You know, and I was in an elevator with her for like one minute.
You got starstruck.
She is magic.
She releases spores.
She's a magic person.
She's like, she's incredible.
Just being around her is exciting.
You get like a fungal infection in your nose and it goes into your brain.
She's just, she's so great.
And they're like, we got to join the Oprah book club.
Kind of, I kind of, yeah.
I felt that way.
My friends.
I see what Gail sees in her.
My friend's mom, I've probably mentioned this before, would, took them to
church.
Like when Obama was president to pray because it was the devil or something
like, oh, wow.
They were like, you know, this was, this was a good thing.
It went viral on Twitter a while back, but her real name is Orpah.
That can't be true.
And no, her name is Orpah.
And then somehow it got changed to Oprah.
Man, if she would have been Orpah, she would still be like a public access show.
Yeah, right.
Exactly.
Orpah.
Orpah's been running 40 years.
You know, her birth certificate, she was born Orpah Winfrey.
Terrible name.
Yeah.
Orpah.
And Richard Gere's middle name is Tiffany.
That's just cool.
Yeah.
That's just awesome.