Name: The First Indian Baseball Player | The Adam Friedland Show
Uploaded: 2024-12-22T21:45:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The First Indian Baseball Player | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The First Indian Baseball Player | The Adam Friedland Show' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-22. Transcript available.

I went to India, and I was like, why don't we have Indian people do baseball in
the MLB?
Because they're playing cricket.
They're playing baseball with no gloves.
Oh, they're slanging.
Yeah, they're like throwing fast, dude.
It's difficult baseball.
Yeah, but you need a glove to play baseball.
They'd be like, you should see these Korean guys who are playing basketball
with a rock
in a trash can.
It's like, well, that's a different set of skills.
They just had the first Indian guy in the MLB this year.
Oh, okay.
He kind of stinks.
He's also bad at baseball.
But he's on the Texas Rangers.
Run it again one more time?
Hold on.
Wait a minute.
I think you got a new closer.
This is a prank show.
I think it's an opener.
Well, actually, I saw a video.
He plays turd bass.
And the fans love him.
Or he plays shard stop.
There's a billion Indian people.
There's so few.
Should we play shard stop, turd bass?
Pull him out.
He's stinking it up.
There's a billion.
You know how few Venezuelans and Cubans there are?
And most of them are in the MLB.
Well, they suck at all sports.
The Indians?
Except for cricket.
Which is difficult baseball.
They should be good at other...
I mean, they have enough guys.
They don't have the soccer guys?
They don't have the central planning of the Chinese...
Okay.
But China.
Name me all the Chinese superstars.
In every single flipping thing in the Olympics, they win?
It's just Yao.
That's pretty much it.
No, I'm talking about every single, like, anything...
I'm saying American sports, sorry.
Oh.
The sports don't matter.
American sports?
The ones everyone watches and gambles on.
They got a guy at Arizona State.
They have a running back.
And they let him put Chinese letters on his jersey.
I love ASU.
That's amazing.
Yeah, the Sun Devils.
The Sun Devils.
The White Sun Devils.
Yeah, they have a Chinese guy.
That's amazing.
Made me happy to see.
James Harden was a Sun Devil.
Yeah, yeah.
I know that.
Yeah, yeah.
He was from L.A.
He was from L.A.
Yeah, yeah.
But he enjoyed his time in Oklahoma.
Sorry to be a sports guy here.
No, I was trying to think about something about taking a dump.
Yeah, curious.
Oh, the dumpier.
Actually, all right.
The dumpier is...
Do not argue with that.
Yeah, the dump.
All right.
Let's...
Actually, Nick's right.
We should...
Mm-hmm.
Every ball he hits is foul.
You're on a roll.
You got kicked out of the game for trying to clean the dump.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Take me out to the...
No.
Yeah, that's a fair use.
This song?
That song, yeah.
It's fair use?
Yeah, because it's like 130 years old or something.
But then stuff like the birthday song, isn't it?
That's licensed.
Yeah.
How does that work?
Take me out to the ballgame should be our new theme music.
It's also those rules that you can just state we're like bastard.
Like, Mickey Mouse should be public domain.
But Disney was like, no, let's just make it so that that never happens.
Right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's that?
He had a very original drawing and then they figured out something.
Did he hit a walk-off home dump?
Hey.
Yeah, I'm trying to get in there.
He's in the game.
I'm trying to get in there.
He's closing it out.
Come on, dude.
We're on...
I think this is the rest of the episode.
But yeah, there's a lot of stuff that I don't understand what is actually fair
use.
I feel like if you get caught doing s***, then all your IP should be fair use.
He signed a new contract making him the first slumdog millionaire in the major
leagues.
But they're paying him 500 years in the future.
He plays call center field.
That's good.
Call center field, shard stop, turd base.
Yeah.
And then he's...
Yeah, because he's an Indian guy.
He's hit a million grand slams, but he's never made it to first base.
Oh, my God.
I actually...
I liked India a lot when I went there, but it was also very freaky.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's crazy.
They only eat Indian food, right?
No, they love...
They love...
You know how we imitate food where it's like, here's Chinese food.
It has nothing to do with Chinese food.
They were doing that all the time.
But it's a curry.
They'd be like, we got this Romanian food.
And you're like, this is just a bowl of sauce.
What is Romanian food?
Like, dust?
Dirt?
It's like wet towels.
That's what I'm saying?
You know what I heard?
I heard the Yankees just signed Gandhi Pettit.
Okay.
There you go.
Yeah.
This is going to make the MLB network, I hope.
I hope.
Yeah.
Cal Ripken-ass, Jr.
Cal Ripken-ass, Jr.
Oh, okay.
I was like, what?
Rip, rip, rip, rip.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
We're back on the Indian, guys.
I don't know.
It's really, I think it's good.
Yeah.
We've never done Indian baseball.
Yeah.
After eight years of this crap.
He's like Lou Gehrig, right?
But he has to give a speech because he got diagnosed with diarrhea.
Today, I consider myself the stinkiest man.
Yeah.
The luckiest man.
They call diarrhea Gandhi's disease.
Is he worth?
Yeah.
Guys, I really, I'm inspired.
There's a movie.
There's a movie like 42 about the first inning of a guy in baseball, but it's
called Number
2.
Yeah.
Well, also, you know, they were, like black people were held back from not
playing baseball.
Really?
Indian people just didn't do it.
Yeah.
They just didn't show up for tryouts or something.
You know, they have the American League and they have the Hindu Nationalist
League.
National West League.
Yeah.
My favorite part about baseball is Israel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
There's Zionists.
It's like, look at him sliding into second base like it's a fat woman's DMs.
And there he is on second saying, can I see your boobs, please?
Can I please see your boobs?
Sliding into second.
Sweetie princess, can I see your boobs?
They all walk up to Jai Ho.
Yeah.