Name: John C. Reilly REALLY Touched His Bother's Drums
Uploaded: 2026-01-13T18:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'John C. Reilly REALLY Touched His Bother's Drums' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'John C. Reilly REALLY Touched His Bother's Drums' from TAFS Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-13. Transcript available.

You know a lot of that stuff really happened to me you know one of my brothers
played the
drums and would inspect the drumsticks if there were any marks he'd be like you
I know
you touch my drums that was all real it was just real for my life I got jumped
by a gang
of kids once when I was me and my friends were out looking to try to start a
gang fight
with the Catholic school I went to a public school and they all ended up going
to a liquor
store to try to get beer and I was alone and got jumped by the other gang.
They left you, they abandoned you and they're like you know like the flying
monkeys in the
Wizard of Oz like like just tearing me apart.
You got a couple in though or it was just a melee?
I said he's like what school are you from because it was kind of a school-based
gang
fight scenario and I was like I'm from Eberhardt but I didn't come to like
punch right in the
face before I could even say I didn't come to fight and I was just trying to
like talk
my way out of this like anyway.
Because of the school your parents put you to like I said you too that's so
funny though
it's so arbitrary.
It's very like Chicago is very like little you know kingdoms little city-states.
Where in Chicago are you from?
The south side.
South side.
Park yeah.
Yeah I was just there it's uh it's kind of like.
It has a very bad reputation among Jewish people in Chicago.
Jewish people have a bad reputation there?
No.
I think everywhere.
Markett Park has a very bad reputation among Jewish people in Chicago.
Why?
Because the neo-Nazis of the 1970s started in Marquette Park.
No they didn't.
Well they went to Skokie.
Supreme Court case right?
Yeah.
They were from Marquette Park my neighborhood.
Frank Collins and all those goons that started the neo-Nazi movement in Marquette
Park because
there was this big black white divide and he realized like this is the perfect
place to be a Nazi.
He went to Skokie to march because it was primarily a Jewish neighborhood.
Yeah there were a lot of Holocaust survivors there too.
Exactly.
So anyway.
Swap the music.
Swap too.
Talking about projects.
What do you want to do?
I don't care.
I mean obviously that's why I came here was to talk about my new album Mr. Romantic.
We're gonna we're gonna talk about it because I want to talk about music for a
while.
Isn't this kind of a Jewish phrase?
What's not to love?
Yeah yeah.
To love?
What's not?
Exactly.
Love?
So I am a little Jewish.
I named my album that.
Yeah.
It's let's I don't want to spot some music yet though because I want to talk
like a little
bit more film and then I mean you want to stay forever.
You want to have a sleepover.
Whatever man.
Yeah yeah.
You know I was excited to be on the Dick Cavett show but yeah.
He's 98 years old and he lives in Montauk.
No I mean I mean a format like the Dick Cavett show.
I was saying to my friend on the way here like I've said so many times why don't
we have a
Dick Cavett show anymore?
Why isn't there a central square of our culture that can talk about ideas that
can get into
like what we really believe?
Why is it always like oh I'm here.
I'm just going to keep it light and talk about my project and oh they were
great to work
with.
They were great to work with.
Meanwhile there's wars going on and all this shit like that was what I loved
about Dick
Cavett.
You could have Tennessee Williams on there.
You could have Marlon Brando on there and they would tell you what they really
thought.
Uh huh.
They weren't afraid to express themselves as citizens of the country like.
When was the last time you talked to Paul McCartney?
No I'm just kidding.
I did meet him once.
Yeah.
He's the best.
Who's your favorite?
Wait.
This is a stupid question but like top five.
Who are your top five songwriters?
My top five Beatles?
No songwriters.
Top five Beatles?
Brian Epstein.
There's only five.
Yeah.
Brian Epstein won.
I'm impressed with them.
He's such a pure soul and he was part of so much other stuff that we love.
Yeah.
And some.
Yeah anyways.
He was a child prodigy too I believe.
I think.
Yes.
I mean like I was talking the other day and it's like it's kind of like a dorm
room conversation
but I'm like for me it's like Paul Bob Dylan and then and then I don't know.
Then I can I can argue for a number of people after that.
John Lennon doesn't even get in after Bob Dylan?
Like.
Um.
I think he's a pretty important important part of that band.
I'm not saying I'm not diminishing him and I'm not saying Bob Dylan's in the
Beatles.
That's the problem with these numbered lists.
It's a stupid thing.
People get diminished by being on them.
It's very ESPN.
It's very ESPN.
But in my heart and like in my formative like experiences in music those I mean
Bob Dylan's probably like made the biggest impression on me.
Have you met him?
No.
But I was on his radio show a couple times which is a funny experience because
actually.
Oh no.
Because you don't meet him when you're on the radio.
He doesn't do the radio show.
Was he was he nice?
You don't meet him.
You don't speak to him.
You sit with someone else this guy Eddie who puts the show together for him and
he's like okay like we just talk about whatever and like you know like what was
like just tell me something interesting happened.
Well when were you the most lonely?
He's so weird.
And you're like well the most lonely was when my parents left me and the da da
da da.
But he's like but phrase it like you're talking to Bob and I'm like well Bob I
was the most lonely when I was when my family left me at a truck stop.
That's so stressful.
I know but no it's not.
But listen then.
So then you listen to the radio show and it's like I met John C. Reilly in
Barnes and Noble.
He had this to say about loneliness.
And then they play this clip of me talking to Eddie and it sounds like I'm
talking to Bob.
It doesn't matter.
You know like so Bob does all the kind of transitional stuff.
Yeah.
Introduces the song.
He has a big part of choosing the music obviously that he plays.
Uh huh.
But the guests and stuff I don't think anyone ever talks to him.
But then you're like I would just.
And I'll tell you why I didn't want to meet him.
Right.
Yeah.
Because I hold him in such a high place as an artist that I was like I actually
don't want to meet the human being.
I don't want to meet the human being.
He would hate me.
I want him to live in the place where he already lives for me.
It's already perfect.
I don't need to know that he doesn't like asparagus or something.
I don't need to know.
Did you see the Rolling Thunder?
He gave me visions of Johanna.
You know I don't need to know like what his favorite beer is or something you
know.
Do you see the Rolling Thunder?
Yeah.
Last thing.
I loved it.
I loved that it was half.
It was kind of a Norm Macdonald's memoir that he published.
It was also the same thing.
It was half true half fake.
Oh.
It's like it's a really like awesome way to tell a story.
But one thing you see is that like there's this notion of genius and then you
kind of look back in the day there were all these geniuses.
But then you see how people interact with him.
And it has to be very lonely because everyone's trying to say the most
incredible thing they've ever said.
When they during their or some their meaningful gratitude that that will land
with you.
Bob no you don't understand how much.
And I was like everyone's trying to blow his fucking mind.
I was invited to Thanksgiving dinner with them one time with his family.
I know.
Why didn't you go?
Because I was like I don't want to know.
Why?
I don't want to see like the weird interactions at Thanksgiving.
I have my own weird interactions.
We would be best friends with him dude.
No.
I get it.
I get what you're saying.
I have no chances to meet him.
He's not gone.
You know like but.
For you?
I don't know.
I've met some of my heroes and a couple of them were exactly like I wanted them
to be.
And a couple of them I was like ah shit.
This was a better hero to me before I met them.
You know.
And I just didn't want to take that risk.
What was the.
What were the nice ones?
What's the worst one?
Jack Nicholson.
Oh my God.
Exactly like you want him to be.
It's as if you have a dream of Jack Nicholson.
And it's exactly that.
It's the coolest guy of all time.
Tells you stories about Dennis Hopper.
Tells you stories about Stanley Kubrick.
He just totally free.
Like a man's man.
Like just.
Shooting the shit.
Like exactly like you want Jack to be.
What was the worst one?
I don't like to talk shit about people.
Well.
Just.
It was bad enough.
I don't need to.
Publicize it.
You see.
Can you tell who it was?
I'm trying to do like.
What were you saying?
The metaphysical.
No.
It's just.
You just see.
Like they have.
You know.
They have flaws.
When you don't meet someone.
You can just see them without their flaws.
You know.
You just see like.
All I see is.
Tangled up in blue.
When I look at Bob Dylan.
You know.
Like I don't see like.
Oh.
He was mean.
That when he talked to his assistant.
In a weird way.
Or you know.
It's just garbage.
That's meaningless.
Have you been going to the.
To his shows recently.
The last couple of years.
No.
He's locked in.
He's locked in.
It's amazing.
Cause you.
Did you like that last record.
That he put out.
I love it.
I contain multitudes.
I loved it.
I absolutely.
It's incredible.
I loved Key West.
Oh my God.
He's just.
There's something about.
He just wants to be on the road.
The rest of his life.
And.
This goes back to what I'm saying.
It's like.
Everyone's trying to be the most.
You see Allen Ginsberg.
Stressed out around him.
Right.
You see like.
You see.
Fucking Patty.
Smith.
Like.
And she just like.
Fuck.
I'm a loser.
Like just walking away.
And it's just like.
You realize that genius.
Is just as rare.
As it always has been.
Right.
And that has to be really.
I don't think he thinks of himself.
As a genius.
You know.
No.
He thinks of himself.
Probably as like.
Everyone's fucking being lame.
My whole life.
Because.
And I'm.
And it's probably a very lonely thing.
Yeah.
It's lonely at the top.
I mean.
What I've read about.
What he talks about himself.
Or how he sees himself.
Like.
Especially that era.
When everyone thought.
He was the political leader.
Of a new movement.
That he was going.
Him and Joan Baez.
Were going to change the world forever.
She was mad at him.
Maybe he was going to be president.
Or something.
He was like.
No man.
I write songs.
He just wants to write songs.
He was a songwriter.
Yeah.
And you can see it.
Even this.
You know.
Him and the Rolling Stones.
Are like that a little bit too.
They're like.
No.
I'm not some.
I'm not.
Like.
I don't have some particular thing.
That I do over and over.
I'm trying to move.
With the culture.
I'm trying to find out.
What do people want to hear.
From music right now.
And Dylan's like that.
You know.
Tin Pan Alley songwriter.
It sounds so good.
In the old fashioned way.
Of the Brill Building.
Like.
You go in.
You knock around some ideas.
You know.
How does that sound.
Put some words.
Maybe that.
I'm going to change that word.
He didn't see himself as like.
God has told me.
How to lead the people.
You know.
Like.
Well no one.
The only way you could say productive.
People die.
Who are treated like that.
And that's probably.
In his era.
It was probably like.
No man.
They did this to Martin Luther King.
They did this to Bobby Kennedy.
You're not doing it to me.
I'm a songwriter.
Oh.
You think the CIA was going to kill him?
No.
That.
You think.
You're not going to hold me up.
As some kind of thought leader.
That some people are going to be pissed off.
Enough with.
To kill.
It's just like.
If you want to make songs.
For 60 years.
You don't think about.
What impact this has on the zeitgeist.
You just.
You go to the fucking studio.
You make more songs.
You know.
You can't like.
Get lost in your own legend.
You're like.
I want to make more songs.
Maybe this album is going to sound like this.
Maybe I'm going to get Sly and Robbie.
Because I'm done with my Christian stuff.
Maybe I'm going to start working with Daniel Anwar now.
But if you look at him.
Maybe I'm going to do New Orleans stuff.
Like if you go.
There's a great.
Exhibit of him.
At the.
Jewish music.
Skirball center.
In.
In California.
And.
There's this footage of him.
When he was like.
I think he was.
Speaking on behalf of.
Medgar Evers.
Or something like that.
That song is so good.
He must be like.
19 years old.
Maybe 20 years old.
He's in a field.
Playing a guitar.
Surrounded by black people.
I love that video.
And he's just.
A song of righteousness.
And the.
So.
Even though what I just said.
About his point of view.
About not being a genius.
And not being a leader.
And not being.
Part of me feels like.
But Bob.
You are.
Bob.
You can deny it.
But I see it.
You know.
You look at that film.
And you watch him.
Standing there.
In front of those people.
Coming up with the times.
They are changing.
Coming up with the.
The words to express.
The injustice of the time.
You're like.
No you weren't just.
A Tin Pan Alley songwriter.
Yeah.
You were someone that was.
Tapped into something.
You know like.
He just want to play.
Electric guitar man.

John C. Reilly REALLY Touched His Bother's Drums

You know a lot of that stuff really happened to me you know one of my brothers
played the
drums and would inspect the drumsticks if there were any marks he'd be like you
I know
you touch my drums that was all real it was just real for my life I got jumped
by a gang
of kids once when I was me and my friends were out looking to try to start a
gang fight
with the Catholic school I went to a public school and they all ended up going
to a liquor
store to try to get beer and I was alone and got jumped by the other gang.
They left you, they abandoned you and they're like you know like the flying
monkeys in the
Wizard of Oz like like just tearing me apart.
You got a couple in though or it was just a melee?
I said he's like what school are you from because it was kind of a school-based
gang
fight scenario and I was like I'm from Eberhardt but I didn't come to like
punch right in the
face before I could even say I didn't come to fight and I was just trying to
like talk
my way out of this like anyway.
Because of the school your parents put you to like I said you too that's so
funny though
it's so arbitrary.
It's very like Chicago is very like little you know kingdoms little city-states.
Where in Chicago are you from?
The south side.
South side.
Park yeah.
Yeah I was just there it's uh it's kind of like.
It has a very bad reputation among Jewish people in Chicago.
Jewish people have a bad reputation there?
No.
I think everywhere.
Markett Park has a very bad reputation among Jewish people in Chicago.
Why?
Because the neo-Nazis of the 1970s started in Marquette Park.
No they didn't.
Well they went to Skokie.
Supreme Court case right?
Yeah.
They were from Marquette Park my neighborhood.
Frank Collins and all those goons that started the neo-Nazi movement in Marquette
Park because
there was this big black white divide and he realized like this is the perfect
place to be a Nazi.
He went to Skokie to march because it was primarily a Jewish neighborhood.
Yeah there were a lot of Holocaust survivors there too.
Exactly.
So anyway.
Swap the music.
Swap too.
Talking about projects.
What do you want to do?
I don't care.
I mean obviously that's why I came here was to talk about my new album Mr. Romantic.
We're gonna we're gonna talk about it because I want to talk about music for a
while.
Isn't this kind of a Jewish phrase?
What's not to love?
Yeah yeah.
To love?
What's not?
Exactly.
Love?
So I am a little Jewish.
I named my album that.
Yeah.
It's let's I don't want to spot some music yet though because I want to talk
like a little
bit more film and then I mean you want to stay forever.
You want to have a sleepover.
Whatever man.
Yeah yeah.
You know I was excited to be on the Dick Cavett show but yeah.
He's 98 years old and he lives in Montauk.
No I mean I mean a format like the Dick Cavett show.
I was saying to my friend on the way here like I've said so many times why don't
we have a
Dick Cavett show anymore?
Why isn't there a central square of our culture that can talk about ideas that
can get into
like what we really believe?
Why is it always like oh I'm here.
I'm just going to keep it light and talk about my project and oh they were
great to work
with.
They were great to work with.
Meanwhile there's wars going on and all this shit like that was what I loved
about Dick
Cavett.
You could have Tennessee Williams on there.
You could have Marlon Brando on there and they would tell you what they really
thought.
Uh huh.
They weren't afraid to express themselves as citizens of the country like.
When was the last time you talked to Paul McCartney?
No I'm just kidding.
I did meet him once.
Yeah.
He's the best.
Who's your favorite?
Wait.
This is a stupid question but like top five.
Who are your top five songwriters?
My top five Beatles?
No songwriters.
Top five Beatles?
Brian Epstein.
There's only five.
Yeah.
Brian Epstein won.
I'm impressed with them.
He's such a pure soul and he was part of so much other stuff that we love.
Yeah.
And some.
Yeah anyways.
He was a child prodigy too I believe.
I think.
Yes.
I mean like I was talking the other day and it's like it's kind of like a dorm
room conversation
but I'm like for me it's like Paul Bob Dylan and then and then I don't know.
Then I can I can argue for a number of people after that.
John Lennon doesn't even get in after Bob Dylan?
Like.
Um.
I think he's a pretty important important part of that band.
I'm not saying I'm not diminishing him and I'm not saying Bob Dylan's in the
Beatles.
That's the problem with these numbered lists.
It's a stupid thing.
People get diminished by being on them.
It's very ESPN.
It's very ESPN.
But in my heart and like in my formative like experiences in music those I mean
Bob Dylan's probably like made the biggest impression on me.
Have you met him?
No.
But I was on his radio show a couple times which is a funny experience because
actually.
Oh no.
Because you don't meet him when you're on the radio.
He doesn't do the radio show.
Was he was he nice?
You don't meet him.
You don't speak to him.
You sit with someone else this guy Eddie who puts the show together for him and
he's like okay like we just talk about whatever and like you know like what was
like just tell me something interesting happened.
Well when were you the most lonely?
He's so weird.
And you're like well the most lonely was when my parents left me and the da da
da da.
But he's like but phrase it like you're talking to Bob and I'm like well Bob I
was the most lonely when I was when my family left me at a truck stop.
That's so stressful.
I know but no it's not.
But listen then.
So then you listen to the radio show and it's like I met John C. Reilly in
Barnes and Noble.
He had this to say about loneliness.
And then they play this clip of me talking to Eddie and it sounds like I'm
talking to Bob.
It doesn't matter.
You know like so Bob does all the kind of transitional stuff.
Yeah.
Introduces the song.
He has a big part of choosing the music obviously that he plays.
Uh huh.
But the guests and stuff I don't think anyone ever talks to him.
But then you're like I would just.
And I'll tell you why I didn't want to meet him.
Right.
Yeah.
Because I hold him in such a high place as an artist that I was like I actually
don't want to meet the human being.
I don't want to meet the human being.
He would hate me.
I want him to live in the place where he already lives for me.
It's already perfect.
I don't need to know that he doesn't like asparagus or something.
I don't need to know.
Did you see the Rolling Thunder?
He gave me visions of Johanna.
You know I don't need to know like what his favorite beer is or something you
know.
Do you see the Rolling Thunder?
Yeah.
Last thing.
I loved it.
I loved that it was half.
It was kind of a Norm Macdonald's memoir that he published.
It was also the same thing.
It was half true half fake.
Oh.
It's like it's a really like awesome way to tell a story.
But one thing you see is that like there's this notion of genius and then you
kind of look back in the day there were all these geniuses.
But then you see how people interact with him.
And it has to be very lonely because everyone's trying to say the most
incredible thing they've ever said.
When they during their or some their meaningful gratitude that that will land
with you.
Bob no you don't understand how much.
And I was like everyone's trying to blow his fucking mind.
I was invited to Thanksgiving dinner with them one time with his family.
I know.
Why didn't you go?
Because I was like I don't want to know.
Why?
I don't want to see like the weird interactions at Thanksgiving.
I have my own weird interactions.
We would be best friends with him dude.
No.
I get it.
I get what you're saying.
I have no chances to meet him.
He's not gone.
You know like but.
For you?
I don't know.
I've met some of my heroes and a couple of them were exactly like I wanted them
to be.
And a couple of them I was like ah shit.
This was a better hero to me before I met them.
You know.
And I just didn't want to take that risk.
What was the.
What were the nice ones?
What's the worst one?
Jack Nicholson.
Oh my God.
Exactly like you want him to be.
It's as if you have a dream of Jack Nicholson.
And it's exactly that.
It's the coolest guy of all time.
Tells you stories about Dennis Hopper.
Tells you stories about Stanley Kubrick.
He just totally free.
Like a man's man.
Like just.
Shooting the shit.
Like exactly like you want Jack to be.
What was the worst one?
I don't like to talk shit about people.
Well.
Just.
It was bad enough.
I don't need to.
Publicize it.
You see.
Can you tell who it was?
I'm trying to do like.
What were you saying?
The metaphysical.
No.
It's just.
You just see.
Like they have.
You know.
They have flaws.
When you don't meet someone.
You can just see them without their flaws.
You know.
You just see like.
All I see is.
Tangled up in blue.
When I look at Bob Dylan.
You know.
Like I don't see like.
Oh.
He was mean.
That when he talked to his assistant.
In a weird way.
Or you know.
It's just garbage.
That's meaningless.
Have you been going to the.
To his shows recently.
The last couple of years.
No.
He's locked in.
He's locked in.
It's amazing.
Cause you.
Did you like that last record.
That he put out.
I love it.
I contain multitudes.
I loved it.
I absolutely.
It's incredible.
I loved Key West.
Oh my God.
He's just.
There's something about.
He just wants to be on the road.
The rest of his life.
And.
This goes back to what I'm saying.
It's like.
Everyone's trying to be the most.
You see Allen Ginsberg.
Stressed out around him.
Right.
You see like.
You see.
Fucking Patty.
Smith.
Like.
And she just like.
Fuck.
I'm a loser.
Like just walking away.
And it's just like.
You realize that genius.
Is just as rare.
As it always has been.
Right.
And that has to be really.
I don't think he thinks of himself.
As a genius.
You know.
No.
He thinks of himself.
Probably as like.
Everyone's fucking being lame.
My whole life.
Because.
And I'm.
And it's probably a very lonely thing.
Yeah.
It's lonely at the top.
I mean.
What I've read about.
What he talks about himself.
Or how he sees himself.
Like.
Especially that era.
When everyone thought.
He was the political leader.
Of a new movement.
That he was going.
Him and Joan Baez.
Were going to change the world forever.
She was mad at him.
Maybe he was going to be president.
Or something.
He was like.
No man.
I write songs.
He just wants to write songs.
He was a songwriter.
Yeah.
And you can see it.
Even this.
You know.
Him and the Rolling Stones.
Are like that a little bit too.
They're like.
No.
I'm not some.
I'm not.
Like.
I don't have some particular thing.
That I do over and over.
I'm trying to move.
With the culture.
I'm trying to find out.
What do people want to hear.
From music right now.
And Dylan's like that.
You know.
Tin Pan Alley songwriter.
It sounds so good.
In the old fashioned way.
Of the Brill Building.
Like.
You go in.
You knock around some ideas.
You know.
How does that sound.
Put some words.
Maybe that.
I'm going to change that word.
He didn't see himself as like.
God has told me.
How to lead the people.
You know.
Like.
Well no one.
The only way you could say productive.
People die.
Who are treated like that.
And that's probably.
In his era.
It was probably like.
No man.
They did this to Martin Luther King.
They did this to Bobby Kennedy.
You're not doing it to me.
I'm a songwriter.
Oh.
You think the CIA was going to kill him?
No.
That.
You think.
You're not going to hold me up.
As some kind of thought leader.
That some people are going to be pissed off.
Enough with.
To kill.
It's just like.
If you want to make songs.
For 60 years.
You don't think about.
What impact this has on the zeitgeist.
You just.
You go to the fucking studio.
You make more songs.
You know.
You can't like.
Get lost in your own legend.
You're like.
I want to make more songs.
Maybe this album is going to sound like this.
Maybe I'm going to get Sly and Robbie.
Because I'm done with my Chri