Name: Joe Rogan Experience #187 - Daniele Bolelli
Uploaded: 2013-04-09T20:52:42.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #187 - Daniele Bolelli' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-04-09. Transcript available. JRE #187 - Daniele Bolelli.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #187 - Daniele Bolelli' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-04-09. Transcript available. JRE #187 - Daniele Bolelli.

Joe Rogan Experience #187 - Daniele Bolelli

oh you dirty bitches we're live there's a woman playing the background it's a
band called honey
honey and it's uh the song's called the angel of death and i'm in love with
this chick's voice i
heard this like an hour ago somebody posted on my message board and then i just
listened to it
and i've listened to it like 10 times i'm such a such a bitch i'm such a bitch
for like a hot
girl's voice like a girl with a beautiful voice man there's there's like a
weird harmony that it
connects to in inside your cells you know i don't think i bet women won't
understand it you know i
don't know i don't even know i don't even think this chick knows what she's
doing she knows how
to do it though but the the impact that it has on the male astounding the joe
rogan experience podcast
is brought to you by the fleshlight if you go to joe rogan.net click on the
link for the
fleshlight and enter in the code name rogan you'll get 15 off number one sex
toy format there's no
other way to say that you gotta come up with a better way brian you gotta come
up with something
creative speaking of which your fans have been yeah they've been saying they'll
have to get you one
yeah do you want one i'm missing out on life otherwise if you want one dude i
got one for you
i had they just sent me a big box of them and i brought one uh for a studio
fleshlight that lasted
less than 24 hours i brought it here and i was just going to use it you know
just show it just in
case people ask about fleshlight because everyone always asks about what's like
hey what's this
flashlight and so i had it for less than 24 hours i was like dude please can i
have one
c hang uh so c stole your flashlight i gave it to him you gave it to him he's
fucking it right now
probably yeah i gave him the black uh model one too nice well look man it works
solid product
we wouldn't endorse it unless it was good it's a funny thing to get behind you
know people people
find it very uh offensive and pathetic and juvenile and why i'm not sure but i
like it i like the fact
that people are bothered by it and it's so stupid it just highlights how
fucking ridiculous we are
completely ridiculous that we would care at all about pleasure you know that we
care at all about
like a device that's really good at extracting sperm that's all it is you know
what's your fucking
problem people we're also brought to you by onnit.com o-n-n-i-t makers of alpha
brain
the cognitive enhancement supplement i didn't take mine today i hope i don't
sound stupid i got some
right here if you want dude hook a brother up i would say a nigga but i'm not
that confident
beautiful um if you go to onnit.com o-n-n-i-t all of this will be explained
what it is is essentially
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energy um there's a lot of people that don't understand nootropics or don't
know what what
nootropics are i suggest you just google it's n-o-o nootropics and it's all
about vitamins and
nutrients that help your brain function at a good level and um you know there's
plenty of studies
that have been done on this and you should research it before you buy any of
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also i want to say that if you if you see onnit's products and you want to try
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pills back or excuse me don't even send the pills back you don't you have to do
shit you just get
your money back uh it used to be what as many as people ordered but
unfortunately a bunch of people
decided to just buy a bunch of it get all their money back and then sell it on
ebay that old story
it's not not even a story it's a fable true story and it's a true story though
i've said it so many
times that's the problem but it is always ultimately true it's a fairy tale you
think so
yeah now it's a fairy tale because they're trolls and if i've said it too many
times right it's
become it's become like not real anymore yeah you're right it does and it
changes a little bit every
time like you know well they did they bought a bunch of them they bought like
nine orders and they
sold them on ebay that's the story that's all i know though dude i don't know
next week it's
going to be amazon marketplace dude i didn't make this up man don't be an
asshole just trying to do
a little commercial here you're not helping brian we're also uh we make uh shroom
tech sport which
is a uh cordyceps mushrooms uh supplement it's got b12 in it too it's great for
uh any any really
really hard workout people if you're into crossfit or anything crazy like that
it's uh it's a great
endurance enhancement supplement it really helps you push you know like into
points where you would
ordinarily be fatigued yeah i wouldn't suggest any of this if you're not
someone who works out though
there's also shroom tech immune all this stuff if you're fascinated by it a far
better description
than i can ever give is on on it.com that's o-n-n-i-t and um there's also uh an
enhanced
science of alpha brain uh where we've uh updated due to some criticisms updated
we hired a science advisor
and updated the way everything is described and everyone's trying to be as
above board and cool this
as possible so uh that's what it is if you're fascinated by nootropics go to on
it.com o-n-n-i-t
enter in code name rogan and you get 10 off not just the first order either now
it's as many orders
as you want we fix that shit all right powerful danielle bolelli's in the house
what is it experience during my day joe rogan podcast my name all day
brian you're like a 12 year old dj
that's like the kind of like sound effects i would be really into if i was a dj
and i was 12.
yeah or it sounds like a sports broadcast you know like this week on nbc sports
yeah a lot of those sports guys are hard to handle yeah they're intense
yeah well there's a special breed of guys that like shit on athletes
you know there's like some of them that are just sports broadcasters
but some of those dudes like they do them and then they're like
he's a bum he's always been a bum he'll never get off the bench
and you're like whoa like you're talking about like a professional athlete
there son
you better settle the fuck down man you're getting a little crazy with your
insults there
yeah you fat guy in front of a microphone how dare you you know
i don't like that insult shit right danielle bolelli
my friend step in the ring or shut up
exactly so brother you are um a scholar of religious history right
i mean you are essentially why not yeah i mean that's the best way to describe
you you're actually a professor on it yeah
how do you think that it is that we live in 2012
and we have the this incredible depth of religion that's still controlling our
lives
how is it possible that something that seems so like it's it seems so if you're
rationally looking at it you would go okay maybe there's some truth behind any
of this
maybe maybe maybe there's some truth behind the origins of the creation of the
universe but
clearly this shit has been written by people and we're gonna base our lives on
this this is
fucking bananas
people when they say base our lives most people say they do but then of course
when it's convenient
when it's not it's like let's conveniently forget a couple of passages like
there's um
but i mean but aren't those the safest ones the ones that stick to the code
those are the most
danger the ones that want to throw rocks at you oh yeah dancing yeah you know a
christian girl that
sluts around every now and then you know i mean that's like way better yeah
absolutely someone who
completely sticks to the code yeah no but i mean some of the things are because
they boil down to
eternal type of questions that no one has an answer to you know yeah and so the
fact is unless uh you know
people always say oh screw religion in that case we go for science and reason
and we need to be
rational and don't get me wrong i mean reason is a great tool but if it doesn't
give you answers to
the things that scare the hell out of people right people are gonna want some
answers whether they're
bullshit answers or not doesn't matter it's like give me some answers because
otherwise it's too damn
scary is is religion then a tool to allow people to psychologically adapt to
the next stage of evolution
evolution like it like something like a placeholder yeah i mean i think it's it's
what people need to
deal with the fact that they can't deal with uncertainty is it possible at all
that any of it is based on
reality i mean no that's so it sounds ridiculous but so does the universe
itself like the universe itself
is pretty ridiculous the big bang is pretty ridiculous no i don't claim to know
shit so who knows what's up
there i i don't believe or disbelieve anything you know my attitude is there's
what i have experienced
and there's everything else yeah what i've experienced i kind of know and
everything else
who the hell knows you know i mean it pisses me off when people assume that
stuff that they themselves
haven't experienced they read it somewhere that's the ultimate truth and
everybody need to believe that
it's like what the hell why how nuts would it be if you died and you really
were at a gate in the clouds
how psychedelic would that be if you really did have a dude saint peter who's
like the fbi who's just
been following your life since you're a baby and he's like going over day why'd
you do this and why'd you
do that like fucking really that would really that would be wearing a yellow
dress oh kids mama can you
imagine i mean what does that really stand for something though i mean i wonder
if that ideal that
this ideal of of you know having to uh live like a karma free life and having
to like you've done only
good things only be pure and then you get to a moment i mean is that what they're
are they envisioning
a moment of ultimate enlightenment when you're free i mean what is the idea of
you know of of the heaven
like where is it coming from is it coming from the need for the next level like
where the the
possibility what would be the best possible scenario the best possible scenario
is all loved ones would
be in the clouds forever and ever but really how fucking long would that last
before you're bored as
fuck could you imagine if that's heaven you're just hanging out in the clouds
right you can't drive
anywhere you can't go to the movies you're just everybody's up together in
heaven what the
fuck is that that's ridiculous no flashlight yeah we all have wings now so we
just fly around up here
you know what do we do after a while you get bored where are you getting your
food you're in the clouds
you know you eating fucking cloud fish what are you doing where are you getting
your food
this is ridiculous we don't need food anymore oh my god what is there to live
for that would be my
question are there flashlights in heaven can you have it how about that how
about that question
you know can you in heaven if there was heaven would you be allowed outside
what if it was just
like a smokier place the whole thing was just smokier you know like you're like
you're just in a lot of
smoke you know all the time so like you can have full relationships you get
girls pregnant you can still
get a driver's license but everything's just like really smoky yeah that sounds
that makes sense bro what the
fuck are you talking because you're in heaven it's all cloudy it's like super
clouds so it's like real
life but seattle-like right maybe it's seattle maybe heaven is seattle exactly
oh it sucks could you fucking imagine hell is vegas vegas versus seattle i'm
definitely going to vegas
oh wow oh i d