Name: Joe Rogan Experience #189 -- B-Real
Uploaded: 2013-04-09T21:49:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #189 -- B-Real' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-04-09. Transcript available. The full video is not available, but full audio is at JoeRogan.net.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #189 -- B-Real' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-04-09. Transcript available. The full video is not available, but full audio is at JoeRogan.net.

Joe Rogan Experience #189 -- B-Real

is that your new thing yeah oh okay well this podcast has already been
sponsored
so this shit is just no beginning no music brian there's nothing that needed to
be done
yeah that's it launch i'm tweeting something right now
ridiculous um so have you heard the news what's that uh just hoping you knew
something
interesting to talk about oh yeah yeah yeah no have you um whatever dude uh i'm
addicted to
toilets now i've been looking all over these japanese toilets that we we
experienced in japan
and uh it's funny because it's if you don't know what it is they're heated
already and so like when
you sit down uh it's uh it like it feels like somebody else has sat and sat
down taking a
massive shit before you like you know what i mean like it's weird and inviting
and then you take a
and then you push a button there's three buttons like one is like hot water
like like a missile
getting shot up your ass hot water and it feels really good like i tried to
position my asshole
like well there's three different things yeah one of them is uh one of them is
bidet and the bidet is
like the the blast of water that cleans your butt and then there's a mild spray
and then there's a
wash it see all all of them seem pretty good and one was a little hotter than
normal but like i
didn't want to do the it also had an air dryer i don't know if you noticed that
but i didn't want
to sip wait for that that's ridiculous because that seemed gay but yet me
trying to like move that
water in my ass for 20 minutes i think i sat there at one point just trying to
it felt really good
it just does feel good you don't realize how little attention your asshole gets
especially when it comes
to pleasure devices yeah in america we have a problem with that like you can
get something that
massages your neck no problem but to have like a warm stream of water that
constantly pummels your
asshole with love right just sudsy love ah for us it like seems gross you would
clean your asshole that
way and it seems like the more you think about it it seems like the japanese
people are clean
not only for their ass but the whole city seemed clean like they seemed like
really clean very clean
but just the fact that that technology exists yeah everyone should be using it
why aren't we using
yeah it's ridiculous every home should have one of these you know instead of
having a big tv you should
have something that really really cleans your ass if it came down to that
choice either one i would
say get your ass clean first and save up for a tv and it wasn't just like
expense or rich people
like the the bathrooms and all the places we went to have that yeah it's it's
just standard it's normal
yeah either way they're smart they mean they figured out a lot of things you
know they're such incredible
innovators i love japan now amazing place fascinating place man when it comes
to like the way they behave and how the how
polite they are so for a lot of people like the vibe of it is so like uh so
like more so much more toned down than
america and american behavior like for a lot of people it's like wow this place
feels really good
it's nice to know that everywhere you go generally speaking most people are
very polite yeah you know
it's unusual you know yeah even security at the arena so polite amazing so nice
and it the one one weird
thing that somebody said to me i want to say who it was but he he he goes to japan
a lot and he said you
know the the sad thing is is that if you really wanted to hook up with any girl
that you meet here
all you have to do is tell them like like you're friends with like lady gaga or
something like that
and no one lies like most people don't lie in japan so they're not used to it
and so they'll believe you
they automatically believe you what and like and then he said that that's just
like less people lie
there yeah so statistically provable thing that's what he said he said that's
how the they're they
are that that those people are that they're very innocent people and they don't
like and they're
also very pushed over he said like like he would order something from the front
desk and they're like
sorry you know the chef went home and stuff like that goes no i want this and
they're like uh okay uh
can you come downstairs and pick it up and then he'll be like no you're
bringing it to my room and
like it was really weird like he was saying like how how it's kind of sad that
they uh they how nice
they are and well who knows what they did to that food for god oh yeah it's
such a dickhead oh yeah
yeah that's how they dried off their assholes they dried their asshole off of
your fucking food yeah
but it did seem like that it seemed like everywhere you went everyone was just
insanely nice like super
innocent and nice and there were a lot of very polite people there yeah it was
uh it was it's an
interesting culture you know when you think about what japan went through for a
long time when they
had like ronins and when they were they essentially it went through a long
period of like civil war
you know they went through a lot of crazy shit and the fact that it's the birthplace
of martial arts
for the most part like the the early successful martial arts the core you know
the core components of
mixed martial arts uh three of them come from japan yeah judo karate and jujitsu
all come from japan
i mean it's really amazing i mean that they fit they figured out how the
science of launching people
through the air with their bodies and slamming them on the ground i mean judo
for a lot of people
don't like you've never watched it and don't don't have an appreciation for it
the watching the
intricacies of the moves and people like hoist each other through the fucking
air and slam each other
on their back it's amazing to watch it's a crazy i mean a really technical
thing that they figured out
how to do like all the shit they remember like you'd watch like in an old like
uh batman movie
where a guy could just flip a dude through the air and boom well a real judo
guy can do that right
they really can grab if you're wearing like a winter coat and you get in an
argument with a judo guy
like you're fucked that guy's gonna hoist you through the air by your jacket
and slam you in the head
you know it's a it's a crazy martial art and that emanated from japan they
figured that out
they figured out kicking like like all the straight kicks emanated from japan i
believe like karate style
kicks you know and the the koreans like revamped a lot of shit and in my
opinion made a lot of
techniques better they put a little bit more power to it but you can't deny
that karate is like you know
one of the core tenets of martial arts i mean it's a it's a good thing to learn
there's a lot of good
techniques in karate came from japan you know it's amazing jujitsu you know
what what what originally
you know became brazilian jujitsu started off as you know japanese judo and
japanese judo submissions
and it's amazing all that shit comes from japan you know i mean people have
innovated it and changed
it a bit but the the core idea of it trying to figure out how to strangle
people on the ground
all that shit came from japan all those submissions and arm bars it's amazing
how much shit came from there
yeah and yet that they that ufc was kind of interesting seeing people that were
from japan
that were big in pride and stuff like that them fighting americans and seeing
what the outcome was
it was kind of shocking i was there was a couple that was one of the most
amazing ufcs it was an amazing
ufc i think yeah yeah there was there was a lot of guys together the guy who
beat kid yamamoto
is not from america though oh i'm gonna i'll look up his name because it was
important by the way he
what's his name yamamoto yeah he looked like a a video game character his back
and his muscles were
insane that would that it looked you think of akiyama oh akiyama that's right
you racist
you racist no but he looks like a video game character i was waiting for him to
fly start shooting
fireballs out of his hands like street fighter yeah um he's a bad motherfucker
and he's a bad
motherfucker like a musician right he sells out arenas uh like for his music
and stuff have you
heard his music yeah i watched him sing on a youtube clip and it's like fucking
30 000 people
and it's nuts it's like boy band type shit really it's amazing dude is it like
that that that fun
japanese like boy band yeah von lee was the gentleman that fought kid yamamoto
von lee was the uh he's not
from america he's i believe he's england um i should probably check that real
quick because i don't
want to give some country credit for this guy but he submitted kid yamamoto it
was fucking yeah
birmingham birmingham england there you go well von lee uh he submitted kid yamamoto
after it was
a wild ass fucking fight kid yamamoto clipped him at one point in time and he
clipped kid yamamoto
when kid yamamoto clipped him he like stayed real calm and composed and kid yamamoto
was like jumping
all over him and the kid kept it together and then uh uh von lee uh eventually
it went down to the
ground and von lee went from a triangle to an armbar submission uh chain it was
fucking beautiful man
the way he hit it was like it was so tight and kid yamamoto first of all he's
struggling from the
triangle struggling from the triangle and the dude just just flipped it over
and switched it nice
really got his hips deep into it and finished that's that arm bar i was like
wow that kid is
fucking badass and i'd seen him fight one other time in the ufc but that kid yamamoto
people don't
understand what a killer that guy used to be he was he knocked out i think it
was call uno and hoyler
gracie in one night he knocked out both of them so he was a in his prime he was
a beast you know but
i don't know maybe it's the i don't know either he has declined a bit or the
sport has passed him by
i don't know what it is but he can't seem to but the other guy was 34 and he
was 38 or something like
that or i mean age difference i think he's only 34 i think kid yamamoto's 34
which is
still leaves him in his athletic prime right you know like anderson is uh 37 i
believe and you know
anderson's fucking absolute his prime you know but it's it's also like as you
get older like the good
fighters the really technical fighters like anderson like they just get better
because they're there
everything is based on technique as long as they keep their fitness up and they
have good discipline
which anderson does you know like bernard hopkins same same thing they can
compete like well well well
into their 40s where you know so anderson is like in his fucking prime right
now in my opinion 37 years
old is not the same as 37 years was just like 10 or 20 years ago a guy like him
is you know might take
him a little longer to heal from shit but the way he can move and the way he
can perform is pretty
fucking prime past energy uh uh in like like he got hurt in the past or
something like that what's that
did he get hurt in the past and like a knockout right no no he's never been
knocked out he's been uh
he's been stopped in fights by submissions he um i tried to say injury but i
couldn't say injury yeah
he's been tapped a couple of times once when he's younger in his career and
another time um by rio
chonin and one of the most spectacular uh submission attacks ever he dove on
him like pro wrestling
style in a flying scissors hold caught him by the legs took him to the ground
and got him in a heel
hook like that it was amazing i mean it's like one of the most beautiful like
almost like it looks
fake submission attempts ever and especially considering he did it on anderson
silva you know
so anderson's he's a human he's just the best you know he's a human but he's
the best so you didn't
re-watch the that the no i haven't watched the fight uh did it seems a lot of
people think that uh
frankie edgar um won it three rounds to two rounds um when when it was over i
was pretty sure that
hend