Name: Joe Rogan Experience #362 - Eddie Ifft
Uploaded: 2013-05-29T07:59:51.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #362 - Eddie Ifft' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-05-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #362 - Eddie Ifft' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-05-29. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #362 - Eddie Ifft

that's the nighttime version of the monkey that's the monkey that's just been
up
fucking and punching shit and eating fermented berries that's the monkey is
tired sucking all
the monkey cock that's a tired monkey this episode of the joe rogan experience
podcast
is brought to you by hover if you have not been to hover i have actually i
actually use it and i use
it to register domain names i wish i was one of those dudes who got in on that
action like when
you could buy business.com those wizards that made like a fucking family
fortune of having the right
name coke it was it was really hard to do i i did it and now i just have a
bunch of domains i'm like
i don't even care if this is worth anything anymore how would you how dare you
say that why don't you
sell them you fuck what do you got that's worth something no i don't even know
if they you know
think are like i have one that's java lamps you know i have java lamps is that
uh worth something
mr kiwi mr kiwi if there's a business called mr kiwi they might be interested
sounds like an apple
juice in japan you know it does yeah or some sort of a fruit beverage yeah i
just got let go of a lot
like pillowhumping.com pillowhumper pillowhumper.com yeah boy that was a gold
mine you passed up on pal
good thing you got rid of those before you hit 40 yeah
um hover is uh i've used it i won't tell you what the domains are because if uh
i have some
controversial domain out there and you're like who is writing this crazy shit
maybe i don't want
you to know so you have a domain that you use that i got several no one that no
one knows it's you no
one knows not even me because you've never told me about it i have my own pet
science projects oh my
god that's fucking hilarious hover.com forward slash rogan one of the beautiful
things about hover is that
you get free who is domain name registration privacy that means you could have
dick party in my mouth
dot com which by the way we do and we registered it at hover well it's because
if you wanted you know
not people did not know that dick party in my mouth dot com was your website i
think that would make
sense damn i want to know what your yours is um anyway hover.com forward slash
rogan go there get
10% off your domain name registrations it's very easy to use i am i uh i enjoy
using the internet and i
enjoy um going online and pulling information from the web however i quite
honestly do not know much
about how to work everything i'm not that technologically savvy i'm just too
fucking busy
but hover is so easy it's so intuitive there was zero hassle um owning and
managing domain names with
it real user the user interface is uh very intuitive so i recommend them hover.com
forward slash rogan
yeah fucks um free security also so it covers your address and everything yeah
yeah that's what i was
saying free who is domain name security um show's coming up this uh i'm at the
burton cummings
theater in winnipeg june 14th but it sold out bitch um i'm at the bear to
theater pub and grill with
ari shafir uh in anchorage alaska and this just went on sale today we're doing
one night up there to
do comedy to pay for our fishing trip we're gonna go fishing uh so that's june
26 2013 i've been wanting to
go to alaska forever man i just want to see it i just hear it's insane i heard
it just blows your mind
like you go up there and just you never look at nature the same you see animals
that you didn't know
exist yeah my friends who've been there like the my hunter friends have been
there they say it's like
you have to go there you have to go there once in your life just to see this
unexplored
literally you you might go somewhere where humans never been like it's possible
to do that still in
alaska like if you really want to get crazy and take a plane and fly two hours
out and just land
somewhere it's very likely no one's ever been there like that's crazy there's
been a lot of
goddamn people on this planet for a long ass time but it is possible that you
could find a spot in
alaska where there's never been a human being not where i'm going but you know
what's the alaskan
women look like like men really like alaska yeah like an elbow face no i'm sure
there's a few hotties
up there that just taking dick like it's going out of style because you have so
much power if you're
a woman up there i think dudes just have to get used to tossing girls around i
bet a lot of guys fight
other girls too up there it's really bad it's like 10 to 1 they ship them in
they have that like that
like mail order stuff well yeah there's a lot of that but that's a commitment
and the kind of girl
that's willing to just pack up her shit and fly across the country live with a
crab fisherman you
know a lot of those bitches are crazy is this mail or you know somebody
everyone there's crazy they
live in alaska but i think it's awesome too you know i really enjoy these shows
that i've been
watching i watch like there's alaska the last frontier and mountain men and all
these subsistence shows i
fucking love these shows man the people on alaska the last frontier these are
not stupid people they
are people who you would totally hang with yeah there's a young couple i did
shows up there loved
it but every person i talked to i'd be like why'd you come to alaska and they'd
go uh i love the
outdoors and i was like there's outdoors in florida you buried a body somewhere
and it's not deep
enough and you had to go somewhere they won't come to get you i think people
would still come to get you
in alaska i don't think that's that's safe if you're in the middle of a city
like anchorage when i went
there i went from new york flew to seattle and i just figured it was like
another hour from seattle
and like six hours later i was like are you kidding me like i didn't look at
the map and figure out
that like a lot it's a far way away don't don't be rude dude what i'm just
gonna know what alaskan
women look like yeah don't come on how is she the number four person though
that's mean isn't that
that's not why does that mean because she's a real human and you're seeing her
what she's a hot red
head what you're saying how is she the number fourth or good looking woman ever
in alaska
go to the seventh one i don't have it in order dude seven man yeah this is
order of popularity
no it's just what google pops up you should use bing they're less biased
no it's not um so anyway alaska bear tooth theater pub and grill anchorage alaska
take these girls
pictures down dude please thank you um also at the joint at the hard rock july
6th um with joey diaz
so that's um the night before the ufc there's ufc on july 7th no 6th ufc's on
the 6th my show's on
the 5th so friday july 5th at the hard rock at the joint should be a lot of fun
i've never done
that place i've been there for ufc fights before but i've never done stand up
there is that in vegas
yes my friend and then the moore theater in seattle on july 26th there's some
other shit coming up but
go to joe rogan.net click on the tour thing and you can find it all there we're
also brought to you
as always by on it.com that is o-n-n-i-t if you've heard this commercial before
i'm so sorry but
there's nothing i can do i have to just keep saying it there's no new way to
say it what is on it it's a
human performance site we sell foods and supplements and fitness equipment and
exercise dvds all stuff
that we approve that we enjoy stuff that i feel is beneficial for fitness for
your strength and
conditioning for your mental clarity for even new mood which actually boosts
your mood elevates your
serotonin levels it's healthy and natural but you're not supposed to take it if
you're on ssris because
ssris essentially do a chemical version of the same idea they they boost your
your your chemicals in
your brain and new mood uh can do it naturally but i don't know what you need
if your doctor's got you
on some shit you either either that's good it's it may very well be good or you
maybe you should
try to do it naturally either one you would have to know that not me you might
need it i really have
no idea i've met people that absolutely need antidepressants and they've used
it and it's changed
their life and made them happy so i would never say but i'm addicted to this
one it's great stuff my
friend molly also this stuff is uh good if you have a friend named molly
because that bitch will
fuck your brain up drain it dry yeah and people like who's this molly you're
talking so mean about
all these people must know molly they're all people that enjoy um mood
supplements the the mood
supplements are all um you know 5-htp has all been proven to elevate your serotonin
levels and
makes you uh makes you feel better so it's uh it's not subtle either i i find
it's uh pretty obvious
when i take it 5-htp i first found out about because of neil brennan who told
me he was taking like
fucking ridiculous amounts of it he was going off and uh i don't know if he
does it anymore because i
think he's on some other stuff too and so you're not supposed to do both of
them at the same time
uh but uh it's uh it's interesting stuff look into it though like always if you're
interested in taking
any sort of supplement that boosts this or jacks up that or any of that stuff
look into it because
there's controversy behind it you know um but i can tell you that everything
that we have on on it is
something that either i use or i would use or i buy or it's something that i
feel is beneficial
so that's on it.com use the code name rogan save yourself some money bitch are
you still going to do
the kale shakes or did you take one a day i did not take one but i you know
what he said is if i
take it with calcium he said it kills though no no no he said even if you you
just if it's raw as
long as it's calcium it keeps that other stuff from affecting your body but he
recommends it for
cooking for a couple reasons one because it kills even more and two because it
makes it more bioavailable
i still have to you know i i believe him but i still have to look into it
myself i've heard so many
people say great things about the benefits of kale shakes but i also heard what
you talked about that one
time about bacteria like a fungal growth similar to what he was talking about
with microtoxins yeah
and kale tons of kale i do too i do too i drink it i drink kale shakes because
i can i'm not going to
eat that much there's no way i'm going to eat a giant you know 30 ounce fucking
i mean if you stack
that in a bowl i'm not chewing all that shit down i do i eat kale salads when i
blend it down though
the amount is massive with cucumber and i use raw ginger and raw garlic and it
just boom it's just
like a fucking ass kicking burst of nutrients but uh dave asprey was talking
about the um potential um
the potential downsides of eating a massive amount of kale that it has um it
actually has a type of acid
in it that is designed to keep it from being eaten by things to uh discourage
predation which should kind
of make sense but i have to read into it so go to bulletproof exec.com a lot of
people think that guy
is always trying to make money he has so much shit online for free it's
ridiculous his his website has
hundreds of thousands of little things on it for free and he's had it up for
years before he started
making his own coffee and selling it and all that other stuff but uh he he
wrote something about
upgrading the uh kale shake and so if you're into kale shakes you should read
that because it's
scientifically very fascinating i just i have to read it and then read the
opposing and you know how it is
you gotta look into that shit yo uh that's it you fucks eddie ift is here you
might know him you might
not you might be in love with him but we're gonna talk some shit and we're
gonna we're gonna get to
the bottom of things boom eddie ift boom that's what i'm saying buddy boom how
are you guys i'm
fucking groovy how are you doing doing good every now and then i need to see
something online to let
me feel