Name: Joe Rogan Experience #235 - Josh Barnett (Part 1)
Uploaded: 2013-05-30T19:47:58.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #235 - Josh Barnett (Part 1)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-05-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #235 - Josh Barnett (Part 1)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-05-30. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #235 - Josh Barnett (Part 1)

we're out there ladies and gentlemen without a net the Joe Rogan experience
podcast is brought to you
today by marijuana totally let's be honest just start from the beginning yeah
let's say that
you know we we thank a lot of things on this podcast like as we you know we
have our sponsors
we thank people like the coconut water people who are not really a sponsor
alienware who's not
really a sponsor but god damn it we need to thank marijuana yeah we really do
and fuck naked coconut
water we yeah that stuff is terrible I saw you tweet that oh it's so bad it's
totally different
than C2O C2O is delicious and sweet people have had the crappy coconut water
they always talk shit
about coconut water like why do you drink that are you trying to be like trendy
like you have no I had
no idea okay I found out from my friend Edwin he came into jujitsu class and we
had uh it was you know
uh mostly no gi jujitsu but every now and then uh guys decide to uh have like a
Brazil night so they
put like gis on and brought coconut water and dude gave me a coconut water and
I was like well that was
nice and you know I was like looking forward to this fucking watered down
elephant load sort of a taste
you know it's a terrible taste and instead it was sweet and delicious I was
like what the fuck kind of
coconut water is this that's how I found out about C2O like I I kept the can
and then went online and
ordered it on Amazon and I was and as soon as it got there I was like well let's
see if this stuff is
just like the stuff that he had by the way those cans are hardcore I bet that
like like like when people
go through trash and they find those they're like oh fucking jackpot I bet
those things are worth like
two dollars or something it would be really good if the end of the world was
coming you wanted to make some
sort of a can raft yeah seal them all up together totally that would work yeah
that's hardcore yeah
there it's so delicious like if you've never liked coconut water you need to
try one of two things
first of all fresh coconut water coconut water that's not pasteurized they sell
it with it already
drilled and has a sticker over it and then you just peel the sticker off and
drink right from it it's
great that is the best yeah if you can get that that is the best but C2O is a
close fucking second
and when I'm writing like especially when I'm brainstorming in my office I got
that little
refrigerator right next to my desk I'll drink four or five of those bitches I
gotta get up to pee like
every 40 minutes right but they're so good it's like it like it it when you are
working out hard
and you drink some coconut water it feels like the best thing ever it feels but
Gatorade feels pretty
good when you're tired you know and you you work out and like you need
something something just
something that's a little more potent than just water Gatorade feels good but
coconut water feels
fucking amazing so delicious and you feel like you're a healthy savage out
there drinking some
tropical fruit juice you know it's not even juice it's water I know it's
delicious shit super good
for you too I like that when you have the actual coconut though because then
you get to kind of
eat the coconut the inside like you eat with like a spoon you know C2O just
told me they're gonna send
me a new case that has pulp in it so you it's like we had those from Amy and
Brian's which I like
them you like it's yeah it's a weird it's a weird thing you're drinking
something and there's like
little chunky chewy things inside of it but I like it yeah it's like goobers
yeah I know it's
it's coconut it's like you're getting a little chewy coconut you're getting a
little fiber in the
you know with the with the milk yeah yeah I don't know it's I like it it's a
weird thing though it's
like all those you ever had chia seeds like a chia drink like the stuff that
makes the pet grow
the stuff that you sprinkle on the chia well could you imagine if they're like
somehow
or another that was a drug well you know that is the case with uh morning glory
seeds did you know
that yeah morning glory seeds are like super psychedelic apparently some of
them are apparently
they've done something to some of the morning glory seeds that they sell in
certain places you got to
be careful that they weren't chemically treated to kill the psychoactive effect
of them apparently
but if you get like pure morning glory seeds it has a very like lsd type effect
to it that's pretty
fucked up brian did i lose you no i was just thinking of how i was going to
take i bring this into a
fleshlight commercial we're rolling dude it doesn't matter should i take off
this logo off your face so
they can see the beautiful joe rogan no don't even do that don't even just
tease them like that in the
darkness all right um thanks to let's let's fucking mix shit up thanks to on it.com
let's go with them
first oh the fuck why not why not i guess i could have a boner let's get crazy
let's close strong with
the fleshlight all right uh... we have at on it dot com that's o n n i t just
in uh... battle ropes and kettlebells
it's the the newest products um... uh... if you're familiar with
uh... anybody who's ever done like um... uh... any sort of mixed martial arts
training if you ever watch like the ufc countdown shows
uh... two really popular methods of conditioning are kettlebells and uh...
ropes
i personally have never used the battle ropes and i'm looking forward to doing
it but i'm a big proponent of kettlebells it's essentially the only way i i
lift weights these days
i feel like he is uh... it gives me like what what it is if you've never seen
before it looks like a bowling ball with a handle on it it's a giant ball of
lead
and you know you can get them as light as ten pounds and you can get them you
know heavy up you get seventy pounders and nine some dudes can throw around
like a hundred and twenty pounders like big giant crazy dudes
uh...
really unnecessary though if you want to get a great workout you get a great
workout with a thirty five pound kettlebell it sounds ridiculous
but there are some by the way which is sold out now because we've been talking
about on the podcast
really?
yeah you can't get that they tried buying those uh... videos that we talked
about that extreme kettlebell cardio workout
right
dudes are texting me saying that they're sold out everywhere now
so i'm glad because uh... it's a really good product and i make no money from
that i just want to let you know just
letting people know what the fuck is good
i think i just got shocked
i think you did too
i saw you move funny
i thought maybe it was a spider bite and you're gonna turn into a fucking
spider man
i thought this was some sort of viral marketing
jesus christ
isn't there a new spider man this weekend?
this place is haunted tonight
it's not haunted man we got issues
i just got shocked
you're gonna be okay sweetie
ow
um... anyway on it.com go check it out
i took my three alpha brains right before the show
what is alpha brain joe?
it is a cognitive enhancing supplement
what does that mean?
it's called the nootropic
what they are is they're essentially nutrients
that are supposed to increase your brain's ability to produce neurotransmitters
now that coming out of my mouth is just really a bunch of noise
because i'm way too fucking stupid to understand the science behind any of that
thankfully there's been some really intelligent people that have sort of
deciphered it
if you go to on it.com
uh... there is a link uh... where you can get and see the science behind on it
and the science behind nootropics
and i suggest that if you're interested in any sort of uh... vitamin or
supplement or anything that you're gonna put into your body
you should do a little research on it
i mean people don't like to do that
but i just like to take things
but there's uh... there's a lot of research pro and con about nootropics and
about even vitamins
i'm a very strong believer in health and nutrition and vitamins
i'm a really strong believer in eating really good food
but i also believe that you help your body
uh... with nutrients
i've had personal health issues that i've helped
with vitamins
i know they have a positive effect on your body
you know
i think you have to just be careful about what
you take into your body
on a regular basis
and if you're interested
in any sort of uh... nootropic formula
like whether it's on it
uh... alpha brain or uh... bill romanowski stuff neuro one that i've talked
about before
or any of a number of mixtures that people put together online
um... just google it google look into that shit
if you're interested in getting alpha brain
the first thirty pills when you buy any of our supplements first thirty pills
are one hundred percent money back guarantee
if you don't like it
you don't even have to send back in the product you say this isn't for me
that's how confident we are first of all
in the product and how much we really want to make sure that nobody feels like
they're getting ripped off
that's just a fact
and if you buy it and you don't like it and then we're done it's okay it's like
everybody's different i could not tell you how your brain functions i could not
tell you how your body feels
i know for a fact there's some supplements that
i enjoy that other people don't enjoy and some shit that they use that i don't
i try it and it doesn't do anything for me
everybody's system is slightly tweaked in one way or the other
so we want to make make sure that no one feels ripped off
but these are really good products and their products that i have been involved
with long before i was in a business relationship with them
i've always been a fan of nootropics and vitamins period
go check it out on it.com
n-i-t use the code name rogan save yourself 10% off
we are also brought to you by our first and our our longest friend in this
podcast venture the fleshlight
i just came already from battle ropes now i don't even have a hard-on for this
fleshlight
why how did you come from battle ropes i was thinking about them
battle ropes make you come?
girls with really big boobs swinging those battle ropes around naked
i would think that you would be worried about that because those girls maybe
could kill you with their hands
and a girl could whip those battle ropes around
did you know fleshlights sell toys now for women like really high-end vibrators
like big dicks?
no no like really like really good vibrators now
oh really?
yeah for women
they're new?
like a new product?
high-end versions
high-end?
yeah
like a mercedes like what is it?
well not just like a cheap ass you know crappy rabbit or something like that
they actually sell it
what is the um the best one?
what is the i mean is there like a fleshlight of dildos?
yeah
what is it?
is it the rabbit or something?
i'm paranoid i'm getting shocked
yeah you could die over there
yeah
if you die over there i want you to know i love you
what i wanted
i'm so selfish i don't care if you die
i just want you to think good about me before you die
i don't know what i'm doing right now i'm getting shocked
um maybe we should just wrap up these parts
i'm scared to touch everything now
apparently fleshlight has dildos
well brian we would know he is the expert
oh yeah
if there's a guy looking for dildos
i would say
do you think brian knows what he's talking about?
i'd be like oh yeah he knows
that's uh
part of brian's charm
he knows shit about dildos
female toys
if you go to fleshlight.com
they have a thing for female toys
and uh one of them is it looks like
oh jesus
i think these are the kinds that are the enjoys
or
see dudes would be way happier with vibrators and dildos and stuff if they
weren't shaped like dicks
if like the best thing for a woman's pussy was like something you know
mechanical and boxy looking and you know what i mean like with a tongue
and you just clamp it on the clint and just
if that was like a real sex toy we would be cool with that i think what trips
guys out 