Name: Joe Rogan Experience #250 - Joey "CoCo" Diaz
Uploaded: 2013-05-31T10:57:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #250 - Joey "CoCo" Diaz' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-05-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #250 - Joey "CoCo" Diaz' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-05-31. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #250 - Joey "CoCo" Diaz

hey everybody the fuck is going on Joe Diaz what are you doing over there what's
happening baby
what's up baby the Joe Logan Experience podcast is brought to you by onnit.com
it's O-N-N-I-T
makers of alpha brain shroom tech sport shroom tech immune I say this the same
way every day
I know there's really no way around that you fucks try it mix it up just be
like I'm trying
hey guys go to onnit.com go to O-N-N-I-T search around yeah use the code name
Rogan get yourself some
fucking alpha brain oh I didn't take mine yet I gotta tell you over here wouldn't
you like
remember to take yours if you're on alpha brain no not if you have kids oh that's
true I'm constantly
distracted it's you know it's great but constantly distracting your place is
very like I'm playful
like like the whole atmosphere of your house has become what used to be devil's
asshole to
fucking Alice in Wonderland it's it's amazing devil's asshole that's funny well
I used to uh
especially when I lived by myself I had uh all like crazy Asian art in my house
it's like most of my house is like
fucking piranhas
I had piranhas for a while
in the fucking tank I'm up here Christmas
yeah I forgot about that
looking at piranhas eating shit
fucking pitbulls fighting on the 4th of July
grab him Joe Diaz stick a finger in his ass
blood on the shirt
you know
and all of a sudden now you walk in it's fucking Disneyland
I know I love it
kids everywhere you're bumping into cars they're like
I mean they're beautiful
it's positive energy now where it used to be like
like rape me
rape me now
well listen ladies and gentlemen I've never
never claimed to be a balanced person
not by any stretch of the imagination
the first time I went to the other house
I'm like go can I get some of my refrigerator go ahead
nothing there was old coke cuts in the bottom that hadn't been open
nothing
well when you live by yourself what the fuck was your place like
this is when you didn't even think of a woman
nothing
you live like Charles Bronson in hard times
you had a house that you only used one room
and a pool table
everything else was wide open
you know
and it was fucking just a blender
protein powder and that's it
you're hungry
I order food
yeah I'm hungry
next thing you know
eight pizzas are showing up
one time he catered it from the smiggly wiggly
there was so much food Brian
it was four of us
he fucking catered this thing
he's like eat guys
there was trays of food
it's so good
it's so good
have you never been to huggly wuggly's Brian
uh yeah
I've been to figgly wiggly's
you've been there with me
no
huggly wuggly's with you
no
I went to
actually I'm talking about piggly wiggly
huggly wuggly's
the barbecue place in Van Nuys
oh no I haven't
you've never been
down the block from this sleaziest fucking strip club
you walk herpes
you get herpes at the door dog
where I went with Phil Hartman
I went to
really
yeah
Phil Hartman man
the way he would look at pussy
was like he was looking at
a beautiful flower
like a girl had a beautiful flower
that she was showing him
and very childlike
as if a young girl
had a beautiful flower
like it wasn't even dirty
the girl was like
she had her asshole in his face
and he had this big smile on his face
he was high as fuck
and I'll never forget that
he's like
that is beautiful
he goes
that is beautiful
it was just so earnest
and so like appreciative
and I swear
it wasn't even remotely creepy
it was nice
he was looking at this dirty stripper
and he was so high
and so in tune
that he was just being really nice to her about it
he was really happy
like that's beautiful
that's beautiful
like he wasn't creepy at all
he was like
if you were a woman
in a strip club
and you met him
in that situation
you would have a good
that was an enjoyable conversation for her
there wasn't anything creepy
or dirty about it
you would want to go out
and buy some battle ropes
after watching this
and getting out of this commercial
are you trying to do this commercial soon?
no
there's no
that's a beautiful story
it's the way our commercials always work
our commercials always work like this
this whole
the whole last five
yesterday our commercial
was 17 minutes
that's part of the show
this is part of the show
people still get this
they still get it on iTunes
yeah I know
yeah
it's so nice to have it on Sirius
it is
it's on Sirius
most of it's on Sirius
this part ain't
this part ain't bitch
you see you iTunes people
you you stream people
this is all you
you know
I don't want to say who I was listening to
because I found out
that's O-N-N-I-T
dot com
Cody and Rogan
I don't want to say who I was listening to
but I found out my new car has Sirius radio
and so I've been listening to this one person
I don't get Opie and Anthony
so I've been listening to this other channel
and I'm sitting there going
you know what
what we produce
is so much more entertaining
I think
and like our friends
like Ari Shafir
and Tom Segura
what they produce
Duncan say it
say it
no way
no way
so
okay
Duncan even
but
but
but all
all the things that we produce
are so much more entertaining
than fucking
I just
to us
to us
well I don't know man
I can't
a very specific
it's really
it's really interesting to me
what's going on
with some of these radio shows
is because
it's just the same shit
every fucking day
and they're just
it's like a soap opera
of people screaming
let's get through this commercial
because this is kind of a good thing
to talk about
because it's been very
I know exactly
what you're saying
whatever
go to Onnit.com
and check out some shit
what is
what are alpha brain
what is
alpha brain is a nootropic
and what nootropics are
is
it's a very controversial field
of vitamins and nutrients
being able to enhance
brain function
there is some evidence
there's a
a very detailed website
on Onnit.com
where it goes over
all of the different
scientific aspects
of each individual ingredient
it's like I said
it is a controversial thing
it gets a lot of people
up in arms
but I firmly believe
in nutrition
and I firmly believe
in supplementing nutrition
and I know it's aided me
and I know alpha brain
most certainly aids me
I absolutely enjoy the effects
it's not a placebo
by any stretch of the imagination
and to make sure
that people don't think it is
the way we have it set up
is if you order 30 pills
you get a 100% money back guarantee
you don't even have to
return the product
you just say it sucked
give me my money back
it's over
and we just don't want anybody
to feel ripped off
so that's how we have it set up
we also have
Justin
battle ropes
and kettle bells
we're starting to sell
fitness equipment
all the shit that I use
all the shit that is
like really
the kind of stuff
that you see
like MMA fighters use
is strength and conditioning videos
body weight
like full body
exercise
movements
like clean
and press
and Hindu squats
and chin ups
and things where you move
your body around
plus weight
you know
these Turkish get ups
these things are amazing
for your core strength
it's just
what kettle bells are
is basically
it's like a cannon ball
with a handle on it
and one of the coolest exercises
is you just lying down
on your back
and standing up
with that thing
and then bringing it down
down to your back
and then standing up
with it again
it is fucking hard
try doing that shit
with a 70 pound kettle bell
fuck man
to balance that bitch out
straighten your arm out
and you engage muscles
in a way
that you almost never do
by traditional weight lifting
it's really a weird type
of working out
and I enjoy it
and it's my favorite
strength and conditioning exercise
as far as like
applicable strength
for jiu jitsu
and for
I think for anything athletic
anything where you have to
move things around
when you have a body
that's used to moving
it around
itself around
plus weight
in really awkward ways
you develop a very strong body
and there's a lot
of videos online
we have summitonit.com
we're going to produce
some videos
and take you guys
through a really good
strength and conditioning
workout
I think that would be
a great thing
for us to do too
just so you can get
a sense of like
what kind of benefits
you can get from it
especially if you see
some of these like
really fit dudes
that are you know
like these
like Steve Maxwell
type dudes
that have been doing
it their whole lives
that are in there
yeah Maxwell
I think he's like
close to 60
and he looks
fucking phenomenal
and he's a big advocate
of kettlebells
and battle ropes
what these are
you might have seen them
Brock Lesnar use them
in one of the countdown shows
they're these giant ropes
and you know
like you would like
tie a ship down with
they're like 40 feet long
and they have these
capped ends
and you grab a hold
of them
and you whip
these motherfuckers
through the air
and you can do these
different sequences
of movements
like in sprints
you do them for like
sprints of 30 seconds
and then you relax
for 20 seconds
and then sprints
of 30 seconds
and holy fuck
is it brutal
I mean it is some
old school caveman
type shit
throwing ropes around man
and when you throw
ropes around
it's a
it's a real wild thing
man
it's like
all your
everything's working
kind of together
but it's
it's all like
one big unit
you know
your whole body
whipping these ropes
and they're all
unbalanced and shit
and you're correcting
for them all the time
and moving them
and whipping them left
and whipping them right
and it's fucking wild man
it burns you out quick
like you would think
I could probably do that
for half an hour
the fuck you can
the fuck you can
30 seconds into doing
that shit
you want to die
it's amazing
it's a great workout
so go check all that shit out
use the code name
Rogan
you get 10%
off of
any of the supplements
and
including
hemp force
which just gets released today
the most
fucking delicious
hemp
protein you've ever tasted
in your life
this is the
top level shit
it's all natural
and it's even
naturally sweetened
it's sweetened with stevia
raw cocoa
and super nutritious
this stuff is phenomenal
for you
and
it's fucking expensive
I'm going to be honest
with you
it's
it's expensive to make
it's expensive to get
but it's the shit
well it's because of the hemp
the hemp farms
there's only like three farms
in Canada
that
because our country's
fucking retarded
when it comes to certain plants
hemp is illegal
even though hemp is not psychoactive
you can't get high from it
hemp is illegal
well hemp is a tremendous
source of protein
and even though we're allowed
to buy hemp products
in this country
like hemp protein
which we import from Canada
even though you're allowed
to buy it
you can't grow it here
so it's
it's really stupid
it's
the farms have
limited production
they
they can't keep up
with the demand
we
and we can't do anything
about it
it's not like we just
pay some American farmers
to start growing hemp here
and put people
put American workers
you know
to work
that's like a Mitt Romney
type thing
you know
we need hemp farms
you
you fucking twats
anyway
go get some hemp for us
it's fucking delicious
it is
really
the best tasting
hemp protein shit
I've ever had
it's
hemp
with this stevia to it
and it's
it's really delicious
you the codename
Rogan
and you can save 10% off
and it's not as bad
but it ain't cheap
but that's life bitches
it's expensive shit
it's expensive
Joey Diaz is here
tighten the fuck up
strap it down
Joey's here
let's get the party started
Joe Rogan podcast
check it out
the Joe Rogan experience
train by day
Joe Rogan podcast
by night
all day
people behave
people behave
mad flavors here
what's up baby
what baby
what's up red man
what's going on my brother
I can't call it
getting ready for Denver
this weekend
Paramount motherfucking
if you're in
yeah if you're in
Cincinnati go check out
my man Duncan Trussell
Duncan Trussell's gonna be
at Go Bananas in
Cincinnati all weekend
have you never done
Go Bananas
that place is great
that place is pretty cool
that's great
I did that place
back in the 90s
man I only did it once
but I enjoyed it
it's a real