Name: Joe Rogan Experience #251 - Bryan Callen
Uploaded: 2013-05-31T20:52:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #251 - Bryan Callen' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-05-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #251 - Bryan Callen' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-05-31. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #251 - Bryan Callen

this should be actually happening it says live and recording but i'm a fucking
idiot
so i don't know if that's true um if this is all bad ladies and gentlemen i did
not plan this out
this well and i'm trying to do this myself just me and my man brian but i
really need my little
buddy red band to help me out with the technical shit because i don't know what
the fuck is going
on so i got to go online to see if it is actually online no i don't want to go
social with your
fucking facebook it seems like it's on we're on we're live yes fantastic the joe
rogan experience
podcast is brought to you by on it.com on it.com has some uh a bunch of new
shit in uh first of all
the hemp protein powder which is uh sensational very delicious i use it do you
use it the hemp
protein is the shit i gotta give you some of this uh hemp force stuff it's
sweetened with stevia
and yeah it's got raw cocoa in it i'm not a good spokesman for protein powder
that's not like
look at brian callen he took a show what do you do do you dance do you dance in
the rain
he's got a dancer's physique if you want a dancer's physique try hemp protein
powder brian
callen he's a dancer in the rain that's the that's the that's the commercial
for hemp protein
powder me dancing in the rain because i look good wet when rain pitter patters
off my body
have you uh ever tried battle ropes uh you mean the the i have some at my house
i call them you call them battle ropes i call them muscle ropes dude dude they're
the shit that's
the new thing we uh we just started selling them at on it uh and that's uh one
of the other items
people are going so fucking expensive for a rope i'm telling you it's not all
right it's it's as cheap
as you can buy you cannot buy battle ropes online cheaper than the ones we're
selling ropes are
fucking expensive when you're getting 40 feet of giant thick ass rope that's
not cheap and it comes
out to be like 100 bucks or something like that the same thing as kettlebells
the kettlebells that
we're selling they're not cheap but here's the deal first of all they fucking
will last you forever you
won't ever need other gym equipment you need a chin-up bar and some fucking
kettlebells if you want
to be in some badass shape those kettlebells will last you for a lifetime for a
lifetime you will be
able to have there's so many different exercises you can do with kettlebells
just looking off of youtube
there's fucking hundreds of different things you can do these cannonballs with
handles on them are
the shit they're fucking the most manly shit ever for working out you feel like
you're fucking like
you're some crazy russian dude the worst the worst workout i ever did was i had
to push a weighted sled
then do then do the battle ropes oh i call them muscle ropes and then do kettlebells
i i've you know wrestling
all of it i've never in my life jujitsu i've never ever wanted to die and it
was by the way it was an
uh six and a half minute workout oh here comes brian uh-oh you must know we're
online now six and a half
let's let's let's do this online with him okay all right hey little fella
oops there we go hey little fella we're on the air right now
what are you sleeping
how dare you um i'm in a panic because i can't get i guess it doesn't matter
but i can't get that
dissolved thing to work where you can't see the text at the bottom of the
screen
yeah you know how you can make the text fade out how do i do that should i sing
background music
while you do this yeah okay in right click on the scene that you're on okay
uh-huh edit shot
hit an x on it
see i don't see that that's where it's confusing
no i have it's just you i was trying to put brian's name up because it's your
name on it
he's got shoulders for days and a really wide oh
shoulders for days and a really wide so what should i do
the last one is christina pozitski and it's got like uh names on it oh the last
scene on the far
right yeah that one's just me now
and forth from brian to me i'll be sexy
yeah
thank you for bearing with us in this technical break ladies and gentlemen i'm
going to keep singing a song about joe rogan
oh okay well we'll have to deal with this but on so the um the text there's no
way to get rid of that text on the screen
see i don't see that though when i'm trying to do that i can't it's not let me
do that
ladies and gentlemen at home this is boring as fuck i'm sure i'm singing yeah
it shows logic camera
logic camera built-in eyesight those are the options i'm singing background
music dude built-in input uh it shouldn't be anything on it should have been a
gymnast he should have been a gymnast i don't know what the fuck i'm doing dude
we're gonna have to have you uh
get in there you this is a good job security for you
hey the whole show goes to shit without red man
okay all right well now for some reason it says eddie bravo i must have changed
it i don't mind being eddie bravo
okay this is eddie bravo now he used to well we're just giving plugs to our
friends
i'll be at the american uh comedy oh yeah let me check
this thursday friday saturday sunday everybody
i'll be at the american comedy club make sure these motherfuckers yeah i should
turn on my volume are you
what are you talking about i'm just uh giving i'm just uh um i'm talking to brian
callen he's talking
on the podcast i'm singing songs about you his name is joel rogan he's got a
wide back
we're just trying to see if this thing is actually online he's got long
eyelashes and he's really
flexible he can do impressions nobody knows that here's joe rogan he's really
muscular got a wide
face wide face and a short neck which means he can take a punch to his fucking
nose better than you can
his name is joe rogan joe rogan joe rogan i'm trying to come up with other
words oh yeah okay
it's working it's working all right all right buddy i'll see you uh tomorrow
jamie kilstein later bye
let me can i plug my gig this weekend oh dude we're gonna plug the shit out of
your gig this weekend
let's not do it here because this is uh only the commercials let's do it uh
when we get to the
podcast we're gonna plug the out of you son ladies and gentlemen the joe rogan
podcast what is it
called the experience something like that i don't know what the this is it's
just it's why label it do
i have to label maybe i'm gonna not label them anymore i'm gonna stop calling
it the joe rogan
experience i want to call my podcast the man thoughts the problem is if you don't
label it you
can't sell t-shirts that's right well you're gonna make your bumper stick money
dog you ain't got no
label dog don't take man thoughts that's mine all right man thoughts by brown
count i like it it's
sexy it's right it sounds powerful i'm going from brian counten showed up to
man and you should be
you doing battle ropes that should be like your avatar exactly just you with
battle ropes dude look
at that swinging them around does he play golf or what Conan the barbarian
people are calling you
de-hired jaded joe rogan because yeah yeah we pranked uh i think it's will sasso
will sasso
on the 10-minute podcast he goes he goes that's my podcast by the way uh he
goes um he goes uh uh
you're you're like joe rogan before you add the water we did we around with the
crowd you could watch
the video of it i actually put the video of it on youtube oh yeah it was great
um well yeah i'll i'll
talk about that when we're done with this commercial uh anyway go go to on it.com
check out the
kettlebells check out the battle ropes the new hemp protein pouty pouty what is
that what kind of a
spokesman am i jesus christ i haven't had my alpha brain ladies and gentlemen i
haven't i'm gonna have
some right now i i take them right before i do the show i don't even know if it
helps well you know what
at least you you do your own products you use kettlebells muscle ropes and you
take your own product so
here here there they are ladies and gentlemen dude i take it because it's
awesome if they didn't if i
if they were in my own product i'd still take it i'm addicted to it so is uh lorenzo
fertina owner
of the ufc he's addicted to this shit every time he sees me he goes dude this
fucking alpha brain's
incredible because when you fly around yeah a lot one of things are happening i'm
taking them right now
how many did you take for god's sake four i'm a savage you're an extremist i am
a little bit
right i might be a little crazy you're my canary in the coal mine everything
you do i'm always like
is it safe is it safe podcast is it safe all right i'll do it now stand up i
guess i'll do it again
we'll talk about this later this is a commercial brian cowen sorry sorry it's
for goddamn on it.com
that's o-n-n-i-t um and what is alpha brain that i just took it's it's a it's a
combinatory
sort of a supplement it's all a bunch of different nootropics and what nootropics
are
is nutrients that have been shown to have a positive effect on brain function
and you can go to on it.com
and there is a plethora of information on this subject and look at google too
because it's a
controversial subject and you know some people are not into it and you know
they don't want
they don't want to believe that supplements can help them and that's fine i'm
not i am not pushing
it on anybody that's not interested but if you're a person that does supplement
your vitamins into
your person like me who absolutely knows that it affects your health it does i
sometimes don't get
enough nutrients from my food you know in a perfect world we would all be
eating mineral rich vegetables
and uh we would all be getting the perfect amount of water and we would all be
having
you know the best food ever and grass-fed diet but the reality is it doesn't
always work out that way
and a lot of things get affected by not supplementing uh i think i have it has
most certainly enhanced my
health and the supplements that i've been most interested in are nootropics and
this along with
uh neuro one which is bill romanowski's formula that was the one i first
discovered bill romanowski great
great middle linebacker he had problems with concussions and he developed these
uh this this
series of supplements to aid himself like it was his idea to aid himself and i
took a ship because uh no
name who's a radio dj uh in san francisco a few years back he uh was raving
about this guy and the
formula was pretty pretty interesting he has a little caffeine in it i believe
um which i didn't want in in
alpha brain you know i think caffeine's something that's kind of tricky it
absolutely can help your brain
anything unless it's obvious right you know what i mean like caffeine i think
should be in coffee
caffeine should be an energy you can take something with a lot of caffeine and
feel like wow this is
what's working well you up and you don't read the label and you take it while
you're taking coffee
and you have a goddamn heart attack that was what ephedrine did yeah right a
lot of those people that
are running those diet pills yeah all this stuff that we we're talking about
here folks is all vitamins
it's nothing that you have to worry about it's nothing that's dangerous and the
thing with honor is we
want to make sure that nobody ever feels ripped off so your first 30 pills it's
a hundred percent
money-back guarantee you don't even have to return the product that's how
confident one we are of the
product and we know that you're going to enjoy it and two uh how the the the
ethics of this company is
nobody wants to anybody to feel ripped off we want to sell you the best that we
can find the best
supplements as far as health and and athletic performance and the best
nutrients we can find the
best weight lifting equipment that we can find we use troy kettlebells they're
the best in the world
they're perfect you can't get anything better they're the highest quality
available they will
fucking last through the apocalypse you buy those you're done you're done you
have them forever they
will never wear out they're cast iron cannonballs they're 