Name: Joe Rogan Experience #255 - Duncan Trussell
Uploaded: 2013-06-01T05:26:59.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #255 - Duncan Trussell' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-06-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #255 - Duncan Trussell' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-06-01. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #255 - Duncan Trussell

this is my granddad's flannel i want you to wear it doctor this is you're
making me very very
uncomfortable the joe rogan experience podcast is brought to you by onnit.com
that's o-n-n-i-t
makers of alpha brain shroom tech shroom textbook i'm gonna take my alpha brain
i already took it
once but fuck it this is a late night podcast let me try my man duncan trussell
hello friends
we had to uh we had to do another podcast today ladies and gentlemen we couldn't
just leave well
enough alone you want some of these probably i'd love some here we go can you
snort these
i guess you probably could probably wouldn't be the right way to do it
what are nootropics it's all the information is available on onnit.com and that's
what
alpha brain is it's a nootropic essentially it's a blend of nutrients that's
been designed to enhance
the way your brain functions uh go to onnit.com for all the details it's o-n-n-i-t
and they can
explain to you what are the the findings behind each ingredient that is uh been
you know designed to
give you like a nice boost it's not like um anything that's going to change you
and you know make you a
smart person but it's going to make your brain function at a good level but we
guarantee it will
raise your iq by 20 points no duncan you're just making that up you can't do
that in the middle
of a commercial on the internet oh yeah he just fucked everything up buddy i
didn't finish the
he fucked up the whole world yeah you don't have to finish the sentence it's it's
written somewhere
i'll tell you it's going to need some of these fucking alpha brands who the
people living in
dallas texas right now getting dusted uh with the poison they're spraying over
it to kill those
mosquitoes that have west nile what they're camp they're publicly chemtrailing
dallas with some
kind of insecticide because these uh uh mosquitoes there have west nile virus
nine people have died
so far holy shit yeah that's no fun and there's people who are just writing
about it someone just
wrote hey let's let's get through with this then we'll talk about that let's
get through this
commercial real quick let's do it sorry ladies and gentlemen the alpha brain
has got him speaking
crazy he wants to get to the subject before the commercial's even over
he's insane gotta go duncan trussell's a lot there's a lot to cover so hot we
have so much to
cover um new to on it.com we have this uh hemp protein powder called hemp force
which is uh amazing
naturally sweetened with stevia maca and raw cocoa are also in it and raw cocoa
is a great antioxidant
it's really delicious too it's the best tasting protein i've ever had and the
the easiest to digest
because it's a hemp protein it doesn't make you feel bloated at all your body
has like a really easy
time digesting it so i like it if i have to work out in like an hour or
something like that i can get
away with it where i couldn't if like it's a whey protein i might get a little
bit more farty up in
what is that it's cheese it's way it's way is like drink muscle milk forget it
it's like living inside a
coffin in my office yeah well your body's not really supposed to be processing
that kind of milk because
it's milk without all the digestive enzymes you're supposed to drink milk only
from your mother right
that's it but if you're gonna drink milk from an animal cow's milk is the way
to go raw make sure they
have an organic diet of grass they just eat grass and then that milk is
actually really nutritious for
you and it has um built in like there's there's enzymes in it and all the stuff
that gets killed
when you pasteurize it and that stuff is what makes it easier for you to
tolerate so people who are
lactose intolerant oftentimes if you get them to drink natural milk they have
no problem with it this is
like of you know how like you think of videos that you'd like to see like if
you had five videos that
you can see from any point in time like you could go anywhere in time and see
like youtube clips right
i would give anything to see the first man to drink milk from a cow that first
person who figured out
that you could do that like that we have so much to talk about dude let's get
through this commercial
so because we're we're gonna miss all the people that listen to us on serious
they're not gonna get
that part oops they get they've been complaining we have long ass commercials i'm
not that good at this
this part i'm not good at all right.com go get yourself some kettlebells become
a manly man
all right i'm talking clean presses turkish get ups get with it son if you want
to get physically fit
garrington flips if you want to throw some strength into your body and put a
little pep in your step
go get yourself some kettlebells bodyweight squats chin-ups kettlebells you're
done you don't need
anything else get three different weights get a 35 a 50 when you're feeling
cocky and a 70 once
you're cock strong from doing it for a while and you're good you never have to
buy any weights
equipment ever done for life a gym but then how you gonna get laid duncan didn't
the guy try to you
recently at the gym no no no i tried to fuck a guy at the gym no didn't the guy
try to like walk you
to your car yeah i was um uh it was really uncomfortable because it was like
the guy's like
hey yeah can i walk you to your car right like it was like the end of the
workout like no one's asked
ever in my life to walk me to my car that's so crazy to the hunted but my mind
tried to process it for
us it was like walked me to my car is it like oh you're trying to fight oh you
want a quick little
sweaty fuck in your car oh jesus christ that's fucking ball bacteria that balmy
ball bacteria
have you seen did you see that reddit the guy who dipped his balls in a petri
dish
to go to see what grew on it and it just flourished with bacteria because there's
just a
sea of bacteria on every man's balls oh my god anyway go to on it.com o-n-n-i-t
use the code name rogan
and save 10 off all supplements that's right alpha brain shroom tech all that
code name rogan
save yourself 10 um and uh the kettlebells and the battle ropes the 10 does not
work on those those
are being sold that literally as cheap as is humanly possible what's a battle
rope they're
awesome heavy ropes like big thick like like seaman's ropes you know like one
of those sure
that used to nautical ropes and giant and there's handles on each one it's like
you know capped at the
ends and you grab a hold of them and you whip them through the air and you do
it like in sprints
like a 30 second sprint oh my god it's ruthless dude it's amazing it's
incredible workout you guys
are like bioengineering some army or something what's happening you're like
selling smart pills
and trying to get people smarter stronger more aware before you give the big
order
there'd be no order there's also uh no end to this commercial because i don't
have a
musical player thing i don't have one so let's fake it
beginning battle ropes now it starts battle ropes
ducky trussell the is going down you know i just speaking of going down what's
going down down what's
going on what's going i saw a uh really speaking of battle ropes i saw this
very disturbing video today
have you seen the thing of the old dudes with broad swords chopping the heads
off pigs whoa no way it's
weird dude because they're like oh my god they're not like warriors they're
just older guys at maybe a
knife convention or something i'm not sure what it is holy shit but they have a
broad sword and they're
just lopping off the heads of pigs oh my god like hanging upside down just lopping
them off and the
fucking swords it really does demonstrate that is how bloody battles used to be
because they just it's
like they just slide right through the neck of that fucking pig just slide
through like a knife through
butter and the sound is so gross this flick flick and these weird old dudes
just swinging these swords it's
fucking strange man jesus christ so glad that we got past that phase of human
history thank god
someone invented a gun yeah isn't that funny i hate if i gotta choose i'll take
a gun i i think yeah
yeah i'll take it i'm sure there's far less violence today than there ever was
when they were swinging
swords around i'm sure it's like no comparison well yeah i mean you could just
think how easy it was
if you were in a bad mood to kill somebody back then there's no dna finger
there's no fingerprints if
you're just wandering through a town you just see a particularly plump young
child drag that thing
into the woods please isn't it weird there's no amber alert that was not that
long ago in human history
you know oh no man the weirdest thing of all humanity is the the humanity that
preys upon its young
it's like their their youth was ruined and so now they want to ruin youths it's
almost always the same
story so it's a scary frightening aspect of humanity you're talking about
people that want to you know
abduct kids oh yeah demons yeah but it's it's almost always comes from
something being done horrible to
them well yeah man that's the uh opposite of this thing called the disciplic
succession which is this
idea that people get super super smart from time to time by meditating or drugs
or something happens to
them and then those people like transmit that to their closest friends which
gets transmitted down uh until
it like ends up in the present moment it's called the disciplic succession um
you know how like you get
around it's like one thing to hear someone from someone happy right but when
you get around someone
who's really advanced and really happy you walk away with this kind of like
extra thing it like gets
something into you know it like they give you something from being around them
so the idea is that
certain times people have like a massive burst of that you know like the monkey
that came out of the
tree or the monkey that first used a certain tool certain people have that
exact same kind of like
blast and the people in the close proximity to them they get it and it
transforms them and then they
give it to the next person it goes through time the simple succession in the
same way there's an opposite
of that there's like a an anti uh enlightenment anti-happiness just a foul
poison that started way way way
back when and gets transmitted from one person to the next to the next in this
endless chain of
that ends up with like people doing monstrous things it's quite curious it's
almost like a race
between those two it's weird how pliable the human consciousness is you know it's
weird how the human
consciousness depending upon how you're raised can be thrust in so many
different directions you know it's so
weird like we are so not like in an easy thing to develop now we're like we
really we're super duper
complicated we have all sorts of crazy emotions irrational ideas of the past
irrational views of our own
memory you know and we're all going through this whole weird thing together
trying to feel our way
through it well it's complete we're so irrational we're so it's such a strange
animal well it sucks
man i mean we've got these sedimentary layers of of of times in history where
you you are just being
ravaged by famine and disease and yeah it's it was rough man i mean if you
think about that like even now
people aren't safe and you can call 911 and have cops come to your house within
30 minutes you know
depending on where you're at sometimes faster if something catches on fire dial
9-1-1 little red
trucks come and put it out they just trucks with water inside of them if there's
no water around
think about that but not very long ago man something catches on fire it's like
that's just going down
you know if somebody if your friend hurts himself you're not calling 9-1-1 you're
gonna wrap him in like
dirty bandages and just hope for the best it's like so that means that people
there's a lot of fear
embedded into us genetically from those times you know there's an angry little
ape man living inside
everybody