Name: Joe Rogan Experience #262 - "Freeway" Rick Ross
Uploaded: 2013-06-03T07:21:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #262 - "Freeway" Rick Ross' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-06-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #262 - "Freeway" Rick Ross' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-06-03. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #262 - "Freeway" Rick Ross

woof you're woofing now the fuck you doing man you're ruining the whole program
the joe rogan
experience is brought to you by a bunch of different shit we got a new sponsor
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uh i can't tell you that much about the sprint um the sprint service to be
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started using it but the phone itself is slick as fuck the uh galaxy s3 i had a
used to have a droid
and brian had the same thing that droid 2 yeah it's a hunk of shit i'm sure it's
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yeah the droid 2 is a hunk of shit yeah it's terrible but this samsung galaxy s3
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go to rogan.ting.com and get yourself 50 50 bucks off you dirty bitches i'm
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actually i'll get you one you know you know how you had the problem with doug benson
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you text him and he never got it yeah uh i saw that happen two more times since
then and i saw it
happen again last night where like i sent text messages to brody and he never
got it listen son
you're on an fbi list you know you are you know you're on an fbi list you know
you are we got freeway
motherfucking ricky ross on the podcast you don't think you're all your cell
phone text messages are
being intercepted listen son we've been ever since michael rupert was on this
motherfucker we've been
under lockdown that's why your shit's missing some some fbi dudes whacking off
to your your dick pictures
gonna be worse now it's gonna be worse now god damn it we're also brought to
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like alpha brain freeway ricky you will not test positive if somebody gives you
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it it doesn't even work on him oh i i just i don't see like it for a while i
thought it was doing
something but then i got off it and i was like wait i feel the same and i don't
know i think if you
you're on it you shouldn't you be like more i don't know for me you might be
too retarded for
yeah it might might be just too past that you might be too retarded for alpha
brain but for me
it's the shit son the new mood i'm all about the new mood new mood is fantastic
what new mood is
it's a 5-htp and l-tryptophan a supplement and 5-htp helps your brain produce
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actually makes you feel happier 5-htp has long been used as an antidepressant
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you take that 5-htp your brain produces more serotonin which by the way as you
get older
it just fucking slows down it's just you can either deal with it and deal with
this new level of feeling
that you have or you can supplement and that's what i'm all about man i'm all
about taking the
shit that makes me feel the best it's the most healthy that's why i'm down with
alpha brain you
dirty fucks all right we are also brought to you by deskwad.tv um deskwad.tv is
the the website for
all of brian's podcasts if you see the website if you see deskwad podcast
anything that has deskwad
with that crazy cat on it that's all brian's shit and you can support that by
going to deskwad.tv
and there's two different uh cat t-shirts you go back you still buy the first
one no only one get
that first one back son it was a keeper that's the whole thing it's like a
collector's edition so
once they sell out their gun forever i need that cat in the second one that cat
in the second one
is evil that has to be on something like we should make an actual uh sculpture
oh by the way whoever
sent me that fucking werewolf having sex with the gorilla you're a bad
motherfucker yeah i told a story
about a crazy dream that i had i told a story on the show but i should i should
save this for after the
podcast go to deskwad.tv there's two different t-shirts that are available
there's only one now
alpha brain the new one the new one's the better one the new one's the better
one anyway but you can
also um go to doug.com and you can donate to brian through amazon.com and what
this does is like say
if you want to buy something on amazon anyway if you go through brian's website
they'll give him a
kickback so d-u-g-g-e-d yeah d-u-g-g-e-d.com so there's all different ways that
you can help out the
show and for me i just want you to be you oh all right that's all i want out of
you dirty fucks
all right we got a hell of a show tomorrow night at the lobero theater in santa
barbara california
joe diaz and duncan trussell but right now if we read ricky is in the fucking
house we're gonna get
down to business hit the music son
you know rarely in life does it become more evident to me that we are on the
wrong fucking
track as a culture than when i pick up rolling stone and rolling stone used to
have hunter s
thompson writing stories about taking acid in vegas and they were spectacular i
mean today they still
have matt taibbi who breaks down all the reality behind the financial crisis
but rolling stone has
a guy on it who's really fat and he's covered in tattoos and he's got your name
yeah this is the
craziest shit i have ever seen in my life as a human because this at this point
is like we're weird man
we are a weird fucking species yeah there's nothing weirder than like as if if
he hadn't called himself
rick ross this shit would have never happened for him as if i mean what kind of
faith does that have
in your talent he could change his name right now he could change his right now
his name right now to
something else and be just as huge i mean how many times has puff daddy changed
his name p diddy and then
now he's just diddy you know think about that well you know but his whole image
is based on the name
you know he he's built his whole career around this name and uh he's afraid to
change it that's the thing
that some dudes do like they'll call themselves capone you know they'll call
themselves something
fucked up that's like you know i'm tony montana motherfucker they'll call
themselves somebody who
actually was a bad motherfucker yeah so when what people don't know people that
aren't from my
generation um what they don't know is that during this whole iran contra thing
that was going on when
it became revealed that oliver north that they they were selling illegal guns
and there was some drug
dealing in the cia in the in the hood that was like admitted and not admitted
it was it was crazy
times but my point is you became a prominent figner on the news you know there
was it was a big high
profile case and before you went to jail it was very evident who you were i
mean it was a big case
yeah it was it was uh the la times once put me on as the walmart of crack
cocaine i think that's what
he said hey joe oh i'm sorry this is a freeway's friend what is your name again
brother i'm rick's
attorney his attorney yeah okay antonio antonio you know i gotta ride with an
attorney now i hear you
pull me over smart and pull me over hey you you got the perfect attorney though
he's young and cool
you know you lucked out joe we gotta remember what year it was it was right
1996 right and the thing is
the guy says that he came up with the name in 96 so in 96 rick's name is
everywhere i'm talking
about globally yeah c-span congressional hearings and then the guy says i
imagine it up in 96 that's
what he said he uh he has some cockamamie name or cockamamie description for
why he changed the name
but the bottom line is you had that name first and you were famous so it seems
like he would have to
change it if he's gonna it's not his real name so if he's gonna change his name
to something else
why would he change it into the name of a dude who's already famous who's like
i mean if he's
if he's pretending that he changed it for some arbitrary reason like someone
said something and i said
i'm no i'm rick ross the boss you know oh you didn't know there's rick ross
that's like calling
yourself you know i'm gonna be mitt romney and he's a professor uh philosopher
of of gang and drug
culture you know he says that he knows all the drug dealers and all the gang
bangers and in the whole
you know the whole nature of the business yeah that's another sticky point but
he didn't know
but he didn't know about you he didn't know about me that's crazy yeah noriega
pablo escobar yeah
there was no uh there was no wikipedia in 96 unfortunately though right that's
when he when did
he start becoming famous for it the name 07 07 yeah yeah see that's when we
started to slide we started
falling apart last year the bush administration motherfuckers are losing hope
like this doesn't even make
sense he's like fuck it this can't last i'm just gonna call myself rick ross
and boom cover of
rolling stone kid that's weird it's rolling stone i can't even get a story in
there you know why can't
they what they don't write a story about you they never wrote about me i used
to write rolling stone
when i was in prison and try to get them to do a story about the drug war and
what was going on in
the whole but it's so crazy you know it's like they don't like me but right he
can go on with my name
with my story and rap on monday night football about selling drugs did he rap
on monday night
wow and does he talk about selling drugs in that song i mean that's all he
talks about i didn't hear
him do the song but i mean everything he raps about his drugs really that's it
isn't that what's what
people don't know is he used to be a corrections officer like this the story
gets crazier and crazier
he's like a character in a will ferrell movie he's like some nutty dude that
like gets exposed that has
been putting on this like it's not like he's put on a hustle in 1980 when you
had to go to the library
to find out about people you know you'