Name: Bert Kreischer's Tracy Morgan Story (from Joe Rogan Experience #73)
Uploaded: 2013-08-07T20:00:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bert Kreischer's Tracy Morgan Story (from Joe Rogan Experience #73)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-08-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bert Kreischer's Tracy Morgan Story (from Joe Rogan Experience #73)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-08-07. Transcript available.

the jay rogan experience so tell me what the fuck happened with tracy morgan
okay
i'll preface this i want to be safe and preface this that my buddy jay moore
does tell this on
stage we have an agreement he's my friend he's not a thief okay that's i just
want i know that
jay is concerned about that but he told me he's not telling the story anymore
and it did happen
to me so i mean this is a true story this is a true story it's a true story so
i was a young
comic working in uh at the boston comedy club working the door in new york in
new york village
yeah and i used to party with all the black comics because they well because i
don't would you like
to yeah and so we uh we used to have a good time and so then um one night tracy
morgan comes in this
is when he's starting to get back into stand-up after snl so like when you were
a young comic a new
celebrity came in you like had to see that shit had to so i go in and i watch
tracy's set and it is not
we have nothing in common he's doing observational material and his observational
material is like
all right yeah okay okay who remembers finger fucking by the handball courts
and i'm just like and he thinks that's a shared experience like losing a sock
in the dryer right
but like everyone else and then he walks you through he's like you put that
bitch up against the wall
just pussy pop that bitch wouldn't even kiss her put your arm in your own stank
and now you have a
visualization of like precious getting boxed out at a handball court making eye
contact with
passerby just getting her pussy blown out by tracy morgan oh god so but then he
comes off stage and
he's like fucking yeah i'm i'll hit that man i got this new bit about my dick
being so pretty
out you can suck it with the lights on like which is a genius statement because
i've never had a
blowjob in the light but he just didn't word it right right so my dick is so
pretty you can suck it with
the lights on yes so so he um so he goes he uh so then he goes hey you want to
get hot and i was like
yeah and because i'm a grown up and so we walk around the corner and he pulls
out this rack of a joint
hands it to me hits it that gives it to me i hit it and it tastes like shit it
tastes like sweat socks
like just just like and i'm like what the fuck is this and he's like oh you
never smoked sherm before
and i was like what he's like sherm baby angel dust pcb you never smoked sherm
before and i'm like
you just gave me fucking pcp like how did you know who ever taught you how to
get high like
so i panic bad like hardcore anxiety attack i go back to the club i go to this
older black comic
who's was and still is one of my good friends and i go hey man tracy just gave
me pcp he's like
oh oh let me tell you something shorty uh tracy doesn't smoke pcp he's not he's
fucking with you
i was like when he's like he's gonna he's just smoking pot he's fucking with
you though he's just
getting in your head and i was like no i smoke pcb i'm feeling weird and he
goes whatever you do
don't go to your house you hang out with us tonight so i'm like all right so i
do my set i bomb we all
go out and tracy is in downtown soho like right on houston right and he's in a
club that is like one
of those railroad clubs where it goes all the way back you have to like walk
down five flight a flight
of five stairs to get two and he's in the back he's been there like 20 minutes
and he is holding court
with his shirt off okay shirt off bottles of champagne covering his table there's
other tables that have
champagne on it he's buying it for them i buy her a bottle of champagne right
now i got a pretty dick
like just eddie murphy gave me this whatever the fuck he's saying is like loud
and boisterous so i sit
at the table and i think i'm on pcp and i start ordering heineken separately
from this wreck of a bar tab
he has and so i'm getting heinekens and then the whole night goes through it's
kind of an interesting
bizarre experience but like two o'clock in the morning and uh tracy and the
waitress comes up she's got the bill
and she puts it in front of me because i'm at a table with all black dudes so
she thinks i'm their
agent or lawyer or coach whatever i am so she gives me the bill and i see it i'm
like oh i can't and
tracy morgan flips out and he goes oh what the fuck is that that's fucking
racism you give it to him
he works the goddamn door he doesn't do i don't make any money i'm the rich
motherfucker in here
i'm on tv i'm the rich motherfucker and he flips the bottle of champagne table
upside down now the
woman's like um sir sir and he goes hey and he takes his shirt and throws it in
her face a bouncer
comes up and he's like excuse me sir and tracy just wham lays the guy and the
biggest fight i've ever
been in just breaks out all over people are fighting jumping on and i think i'm
on pcp so
i walk out on houston and i start going this isn't happening this is imaginary
this is not real people
are flooding out left and right and they're like dude that shit's going off tracy's
got like four
dudes on him and i was like holy shit a minute later the doors kick open and tracy
morgan is launched
out of the club by the back of his neck and the seat of his pants just
up onto the street they put his shirt on him no up on the street shirtless
laying at my feet
on the sidewalk doors close second later doors kick back open and tracy's shirt
comes out end over end
and lands on his head and it's silent and we're looking at tracy like fuck this
is crazy all of a
sudden he looks up stands up takes his shirt snaps it and he goes now that's
how you get out of paying
a check this guy's crazy like a fox he's the creep he fucking just walked out
of a six thousand dollar
part holy shit getting kicked out of the bar but you really did that that's all
that's awesome i mean
do you ever have to pay for it whatever i have no idea i never i do here's the
thing i was it i only
met tracy once that was you don't hang out with a dude more than that oh i
would never leave that
guy's side i would have to be hanging out with him every day i would have to be
hanging out with him all the time
i never knew i never knew how to start i don't hear anything