Name: Joe Rogan Experience #383 - Jim Norton
Uploaded: 2013-08-13T03:28:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #383 - Jim Norton' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-08-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #383 - Jim Norton' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-08-13. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #383 - Jim Norton

there's a lot of people that don't even know this podcast is happening right
now
this is a disaster i will right now tweet it as i'm talking that's how slick i
am i'm not very
slick at all just bear with me this is gonna be clunky they're gonna be like i
thought this was
a good podcast here we go bitches let's see here we go i'll retweet it oh
please do jimmy
that's called being lazy too i'll let joe do all the work fucking hashtagging
and i'll just retweet it
um i do a lot of retweeting too it's too much work when people ask you to just
tweet things hey
tweet this for me bitch you didn't even tweet it yourself like brian callen
that motherfucker will
tell you hey tweet that i'm here tweet that i'm here and then you go to his
twitter page and he
didn't even tweet it himself yeah it's like i was gonna but i had to i had to
do this wrestling class
and there was a guy an alligator i had to see this episode of the joe rogan
experience podcast is
brought to you by squarespace.com squarespace.com is a website that allows you
to build websites very
easily it's uh it's set up so that like a dummy like you or i could easily make
notice how i said
you or i thought i was going to say me i'm tricky it's uh essentially it's set
up so that uh a simple
person like myself could easily make a website and you can do it really quickly
choose from over 20
badass designs uh you can um if you need help they have 24 7 super fast email
support you also can
start it and try it without paying for it you don't even have to enter your
credit card information
just they have so much confidence that it's a cool website for creating
websites that they allow you
to play with it first and then if you decide like wow this uh this website that
i made super easy is
fucking badass you can easily register it and you can easily start an online
store so it's uh it's a
pretty sweet account and if you use the code name rogan oh don't even use the
code name joe and the
number eight there's too many of these codes uh squarespace.com squarespace.com
and use the offer code
joe and then the number eight so if you decide to purchase uh you get uh 10 off
and the number eight is
because it's the month of august so it's all one word they're really tricky
like that they want to
know like exactly what month people tuned in and got a squarespace.com account
but it's a it's a
badass website you'll enjoy it go check it out we're also brought to you by
audible.com if you go to
audible.com forward slash joe um you can get one free audio book and 30 free
days of audible service
audible which also has opie and anthony which is where i became deeply
acquainted with my little
buddy jimmy norton uh and his book best of jim norton volume two oh that's not
a book oh that's
probably audio yeah it's audio who put that together i guess fans did or
something right i don't know
it's uh yeah well opie and anthony's you know all the shows are on audible so
that's the coolest
thing ever so like if you missed yesterday's show you just go online download
the show and i think
they just took all the best parts of uh jimmy on uh opie and anthony this is
volume two so
there's a few of them and uh this is an hour and ten minutes and you said one
of your books is
available right um yeah happy ending i did the voice read for an audio book i
didn't do it for uh
i hate your guts how come you didn't didn't have the time no i wish i had but
because when i did the
um happy endings one it was such an annoying process to go through because they're
like she's like say it
like this and say it like that and i listened to her but i'm like i'm a comic i
know how to talk i
should have just done what i did so she's telling you how to do it how to read
it so it's
clear like and they do that with everybody but it's like i should i should have
overrode her on
a few and went no i know how to do that yeah you can't have that kind of impact
you're not going to
put out a bad product i know you you're trying to do the best thing that you
can do it you can't do
that when people are trying to change your annunciations or micromanage yeah
that becomes
a problem i i had a book deal and i gave back the money because of that did you
yeah i didn't want to
deal with it they were they were trying to get me to write it like a stand-up
in stand-up form and we
we kind of had such a the gap between what they wanted and what i wanted to do
was so wide that i
was like i don't think it's fair because i can't i can't make your book what
dummies they are well
just they have an idea of what they think could sell they actually wanted me to
try to do my stand-up
in book form and i was like there's no way i would do that and they go but george
carlin did it and
jerry seinfeld did it i'm like that's great and those guys are great comics i
said i don't care i
don't i'm not going to do that i'm never going to do that i'm never going to
put my fucking stand
stand up a stand up for a reason it's supposed to be that way and it's cheating
in a way it's
cheating instead of coming up with a new book you're just taking that's lazy
thinking yeah
publishers or copy editors well it was just gross i think they're just trying
to make money and it
led me think that they were just trying to make the most money possible they
don't weren't really
worried about it being good otherwise they would never propose that so it's
just we just had a
different idea of uh what to do so i understand where you're coming from but
you know hey they're
in the business of making money yep you know they're not in the business of
being jim norton
yeah you know that's the problem no one the fuck can tell you i mean think
about all the crazy shit
you've ever said and how many people could who would suggest that that would be
a good thing to talk
about yeah meanwhile that's made who you who you are they're idiots so joe his
book is uh usually
twenty three dollars and ninety three cents but if you sign up right now you
get this book for free
good googly moogly go check it out go to audible.com and uh audible.com forward
slash joe
and uh or did they change that now didn't they change that or it's this is all
ridiculous that it
has to be squarespace squarespace changed it i think audible still basically
the same thing yeah they all
should be the same thing but uh the point jim you you go to a lot of uh massage
parlor have you heard
of uh rubmaps.com yet no it's gonna be your new favorite website you're gonna
be addicted to it it's
pretty much yelp for massage parlors go there and realize that brian got jerked
up by the gal right
before you oh yeah but it has like reviews and it's like like if you want a
hand job if you want full
sex if you want whatever and it tells you all the places oh nice man yeah it's
great very nice
excellent would it be great if that was all legal and we could just be like
gentlemen and discuss
this oh that would be wonderful she's an asian but she has bad breath but she
will eat your ass
for an extra 30 slightly slightly bruised but meanwhile we're like ew why would
you do that
yeah what do you want pleasure uh jimmy jimmy's book's awesome the one that's
on tape you can get
at audible.com for free go audible.com forward slash joe you get one free
audiobook and 30 free days
of audible service did i ever get you any of the on it stuff did i ever get you
any of the um
alpha brain or any of that no i don't think so i gotta get you some
i like what you did there brian not oh how dare you what was that wayne's room
i just thought i'd bring not i dust not off i haven't even tried that in years
any out of nowhere if you haven't been on it.com it's our last sponsor uh we
sell what we call
things that it's it's what we call a human performance website everything we
sell on on it is
in some way going to benefit you physically or mentally or your your your
cardio or your your
mental health there's uh a bunch of different strength and conditioning uh
exercise equipment
pieces that we sell we sell kettlebells and battle ropes and weight vests and
steel maces and club
bells all shit that really promotes functional strength strength that you could
apply to athletics
whether it's martial arts or a sport or something along those lines and then
the supplements we we
so we sell is essentially the best shit that we can find in every category what's
the bet where's the
best protein powder that's made out of hemp what's where's the best uh spirulina
where's the best
melatonin we just sell the best shit we can get and we try to sell it at a
reasonable rate and we
sell it through the internet so the the whole thing is done easily and smoothly
we don't have to deal
with uh any third party and if you're interested in any supplements which are
the most controversial
things that we sell you know people like what it cause it helps your endurance
what it makes your
brain work what there's a lot of people don't want to believe things so we have
a science thing set
up at audit.com explains the science behind all this and then on top of that
there's also a 30 pill
90 day money back guarantee so you don't even have to return the product you
say hey this stuff
didn't do shit for me and you get your money back no one's trying to rip you
off all we're trying to
do is just sell you shit that i use shit that aubry uses shit that my friends
use alpha brain is what's
called a nootropic what nootropics are is nutrients that are have been shown in
certain studies to enhance
certain aspects of cognitive function whether it's uh being able to problem
solve or memory or there's
other supplements like new mood which is a 5-htp supplement which is uh great
for your serotonin
development also has l-tryptophan which converts to 5-htp i'm talking too much
any of these questions
you need answered on uh any of this stuff you can go to on it.com that's o-n-n-i-t
if you use the code
name brogan you'll save 10 off any and all supplements my pal jimmy norton is
here cue the music brian
let's get frisky
the joe rogan experience
train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day
powerful jimmy norton thank you
that's the most magical intro we've ever given you
that's delightful i feel like there's some energy in the air i said that what's
going on my brother
good to see you good to see you i'm okay i'm drinking this coffee and it's very
good with the
butter in it yeah but i know that i'm going to be because any of that stuff
like lactose just
fucks me up so i know i'm really a lot yeah i'm done i'll be interested to see
if it has the same
effect on you because it's grass-fed butter i wonder if that has the same
effect you know what i
find i find that i can be lactose intolerant but when i drink raw milk i don't
have any problem
what's the grass-fed butter effect well the idea is and obviously i'm no doctor
so don't listen to me
but the idea is that butter from grass-fed cows is butter from healthier cows
and cows are not
designed to eat corn and when they eat corn it's one of the reasons why they
get so fat right it's
just not a part of their normal diet their normal diet is just grass and when
you have grass-fed beef
it's a much leaner beef it tastes different and the idea is the butter is
different too and the butter is
actually healthy for you okay as opposed to the butter that you're getting that's
you know from
corn-fed cows the other thing is the homogenization and pasteurization of milk
changes so much about how
your body absorbs it like the enzymes in it and everything you ever had like
raw milk i don't know i don't
love milk i drink it out of necessity and other shit but like i can never be
the professional just
walking around slugging milk i always thought how bad his breath must be what
he did was drink
fucking milk well that was supposed to be like the sign that you're a serious
man did you ever see
the movie the hustler uh do you mean with paul newman yes yeah sure do you
remember jackie
gleason's backer uh was george c scott and george c scott played burt and bu