Name: Joe Rogan Experience #385 - Duane Ludwig, TJ Dillashaw
Uploaded: 2013-08-27T06:35:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #385 - Duane Ludwig, TJ Dillashaw' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-08-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #385 - Duane Ludwig, TJ Dillashaw' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-08-27. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #385 - Duane Ludwig, TJ Dillashaw

we're live already yes that's ridiculous hey fuckers what are you doing um
listen
you need a website build it yourself don't be a lazy bitch you can do it or
normally i would say
you can't do it but you can do it if you go to squarespace i know you're saying
joe rogan i'm
stupid of course you are i'm stupid too we can be stupid together it's all
right trust me you can
make this happen go to squarespace.com and check out how easy it is to create
your own custom website
custom images and content you can choose from over 20 badass designs if you
need help they offer 24 7
super fast email support and live online chat support it's very easy so easy
that i can make a
website me and you can too it used to be that you had to learn how to code or
learn how to use some
fucking wonky ass program that would make you want to pull your hair out if you
have any but
nowadays you can just go to squarespace.com hook that shit up yourself they're
so confident that
it's an excellent way to create a website that you can do it without even using
your credit card you
can go there just try it out no credit card needed start building your own
website and then if you
decide you like it then use the code joe and the number eight oh yeah we forgot
weed weed man
this is all the weed we got yeah roll a joint
thank god nobody could see us once i'm good thank you sir
so easy you could do it do you know how to roll one of these things do you know
how to use this
i will you can do this yeah jimmy do this while we're talking i can't believe
we forgot it's been
so long you've been i know i don't know what i'm doing anymore no way there
should be weed in there
if there's not we're fucked figure it out if there's not we'll go sober for
once we'll have halfway
sober um squarespace starts at just eight bucks a month including a free domain
name if you sign up for a
year so go squarespace.com use the offer code all one word joe and the number
eight that's joe the
number eight all one word save yourself ten percent is an excellent resource if
you want to create a
website i can't recommend it enough you can use the site will look great on any
device ipad iphone android
they got it hooked up and you can also create your own online store like that
it's super easy brian
has literally created dozens of websites while we've done these ads it's so
easy connected accounts
you can easily connect to twitter facebook linkedin all that other stupid shit
instagram google blah blah
blah blah blah blah go to squarespace.com use the code joe8 save yourself some
cash you dirty bitches
um as far as comedy dates coming up we got a lot my my show is done and so i'm
back on the road
sweet bitches um brian you said you're doing something with the great tom segura
and the
great christina pozitsky in columbus yeah we just it just went on sale we're
doing a super show out
there tom segura christina pozitsky tony hinchcliffe and me at the woodlands
backyard in columbus
ohio and the day before me and tony are going to be in arizona at stand up live
so you can go
death squad.tv for all the tickets nice and uh arizona that place is fucking
awesome and huge huge
i'm scared people you should be scared you should always be scared it's a hard
thing to fill up
you should be scared that keeps you under your feet keeps you sharp son uh this
weekend uh august
30th i'll be in milwaukee wisconsin with mad flavor aka joey diaz and uh this
wednesday night
we're at the ice house wednesday night 10 p.m i haven't booked any people on
the show yet but it'll be
me and a bunch of people from town so it's always great comics we have a lot of
people that are funny
shit that live in this area so go there and get your freak on um higherprimate.com
is uh restocked so
all the new shit uh the run jre shirts that you see me wearing on um joe rogan
questions everything
and uh and you know all the ones that i've worn on this show as well the gas my
gas mask monkey chimp
shirt all that stuff higher priming is my uh t-shirt company it's all just
monkeys and psychedelics the
things that i'm interested in most other than you people i love the fuck out of
you guys we're also
brought to you by on it.com that's o-n-n-i-t if you haven't been there a while
we have uh the new
gorilla kettlebells in uh we also have an orangutan on the way that i just got
i got it at home it's
fucking dopealicious we got a this primal bell company we're expanding this
line but it's uh it's
quite complicated because we've decided to make these really dope looking
kettlebells with these designs in
them that are also functional and balanced so um if you get like uh i know
there's other companies that
have designs that they put in kettlebells but what they didn't do is make it so
that the kettlebell is
perfectly balanced i think it's a very important thing if you're swinging
around these big heavy
fogging iron things you want to make sure that there's not some imbalance in
the way you use it
that would kind of defeat the purpose of having a kettlebell it should be not
just uh functional or not
not just beautiful but functional as well uh so if you go there and you uh can
check out all the
different fitness equipment we have battle ropes steel maces steel clubs ab
wheels so you can get
yourself a sexy six-pack like tj dillashaw bitch we got we got medicine balls
all that good
shit as well as uh a fuckload of supplements including of course alpha brain
and shroom tech sport you ever
use the shroom tech sport right yes sir it's the shit i love all that stuff t
plus to get your pecker all
ready for action go to on it.com use the code name rogan and save yourself 10
off any and all
supplements and then it's a beautiful website too it's a lot of cool shit there
t plus does give
you boners right it does it absolutely increases testosterone and you're
allowed to drink on this
because i've noticed you can't do boner pills and alcohol lately so i've been
having a bad you can't
no so why not i don't know what do you mean does it work your heart i think
because it takes all your
blood and takes it puts in your dick and then like your heart's like hey i don't
have enough blood
to deal with this jack daniels this is science by red band yeah well you can
see red band doing
a ted conference basically it takes all the blood and puts in your dick and uh
you thicken your heart
just explodes or something yeah i just read it so i kind of freaked out because
that's that was like
the best combo ever jack and you can still do it listen you're you're doing a
lot of shit that's
bad for you right alcohol itself is fucking terrible for you it's not like it's
a vitamin
you know you're drinking until you black out four nights a week and you're
worried about what boner
pills are going to add to the equation well i just want to know if people will
give me the same kind
of rock hard boner listen i don't know what you did in the past life but you're
almost fucking 40 you
look like you're 12 and you're getting hammered every night you got great genes
don't worry about it
just uh take a multivitamin every now and then if you remember and uh keep
riding till the
fucking wheels fall off don't worry about it bitch we're here for a long time
don't worry i talked to
ray kurzweil it's all going to work out all right freaks dwayne ludwig tj dillashaw
both are in the
building right now enough with the commercials we're trying to shorten them
down for your amusement
so there that's the end there's one more dwayne bang ludwig.com or dwayne bang.com
dwayne bang.com
bitches go there buy some sweet ass shirts like this one here hit it
joe rogan podcast check it out the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan
podcast by night
all day it's actually better if you ever have anything to promote if you
promote it after the
music because that's when it goes on serious yeah because serious takes all the
shit before the music
and just puts it out there so i don't know what they do with it serious secret
they throw it away
sometimes our best work is done before we even get started so then where do
they go for the
sweet ass shirts you're wearing they go to dwayne bang.com i'm wearing an
affiliate bang muay thai
uh dwayne and tj and i just got back from a garage training session old school
like gracie in action
1993. yeah i got matt set up in my garage we had a sweet workout that was fun
man really cool
badass setup you have you're really um enthusiastic man i i could tell you're
like really enjoying this
transition from being a professional fighter to being a professional coach and
for folks who don't
know dwayne uh for a long time had fastest knockout in uh ufc history was try
they tried to deny you
but we would not let them yeah we forced that shit down their throat they were
trying to give it to uh
to todd duffy who had a very fast knockout no doubt about it was pretty close
but you still had them you edged them but the referee fucked up you know they
they gave it to
you like 10 seconds but it was really like six well on the clock it said four
but the four about the
the duration of the ball is from the bell sounds until the the ref says start
or a fight and until
one of the refs over to the ref touches one of the opponents right so from
start to touch that's
what we count correct okay so even if the bell rings before so they start does
the bell ring in the
beginning boxing it used to it doesn't with mma right i don't just say fight
yeah yeah i don't
even know how the fuck do i not know why don't we hear him i don't hear tj here
we go try it again
yeah yeah i'm usually too amped up to even hear about how much do you hear when
you're out there do
you hear dwayne in your corner cheering it yeah i can hear i can hear justin
buckles usually the
most because he's real loud he's always in my corner and then dwayne as well
yeah so that's all you
hear just that and then the rest is just noise for the most part i mean you can
hear like when the
crowd gets excited you kind of hear that but you don't pay attention to it you
know you just kind
of try to focus in what you're supposed to have you ever been in a fight where
they booed no that's
a weird moment right when when dudes are not doing anything and you know that
they can hear it you
know because it's never a boo during a wild scramble right and it's a the wild
scrambles i would
imagine the ones where you would have the least memory of what the fuck is
going on like sound wise you're
so so like tuned into it right so what you asked me is we hear them booing yeah
oh yeah i have i've heard
i'm gonna boo for sure 100 percent yeah do you do you feel responsibility when
you hear that like
what's your feeling a little bit just depends on the game plan and the fight
and what's going on
yeah and you know because sometimes the game plan can be to just sit back let
him come to us you know
let him boo you know i don't give a fuck right right right coming to me running
into something stupid
that's sweet so it could be like like who's who's gonna crack first like who's
gonna give in to these
boos and do something stupid that gets off of their game plan and that's the
main thing with these
fighters and myself is to control our own emotions because if you don't control
us how are we going
to control them right so and that's just one of those things if if the crowd's
going to boo and
you know make this guy make a stupid mistake or to finally come in or you know
come in our game
plan or whatever the scenario may be then sweet you know let the crowd dictate
what he's going to
do hopefully he makes a mistake let him run to us we keep our composure we
stick to the game plan
we adjust on the fly we make things happen you know i'm an unusual um mma fan
and that i've probably seen
like live i've seen you know more than a thousand fights and and had to call
them so i've been involved
in so many different scenarios so many fights watching it play out like classic
all-time great mma
fights i've had the honor to call but i i am differe