Name: Joe Rogan Experience #386 - Joey "CoCo" Diaz
Uploaded: 2013-08-28T04:29:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #386 - Joey "CoCo" Diaz' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-08-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #386 - Joey "CoCo" Diaz' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-08-28. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #386 - Joey "CoCo" Diaz

hey freak bitches we're back
this episode of the joe rogan experience broadcast is brought to you by stamps.com
if you run a small business out of your house the last thing you want to do
is fucking measure shit and weigh it at the post office good googly moogly joey
diaz good
googly moogly you don't want to be in that fucking line talking to some person
who doesn't want to
talk to you waiting and waiting while some asshole in front of you is trying to
buy stamps
trust me do this shit on your own computer it's way easier you do it all print
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you measure it yourself they give you a scale it's a sweet deal if you click on
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brought to you by audible.com
the best resource on the internet if you're looking for audio entertainment
whether it's books or radio
shows like the opie and anthony show i believe they have some podcasts on there
as well they we thought
they had dan carlin's podcast but we were mistaken i want to talk to dan about
it he's like nope you're
just making that shit up i love that guy what a great guy yeah he's a great guy
if you listen to his
podcast yeah you'll like him even more once you listen to the podcast then you
really like the guy because
you're like oh this fucking this guy's like he's making a masterpiece he's you
know what we're doing
is just sitting around talking shit and i appreciate that you guys enjoy it but
the amount of effort that
goes into doing one of these it's it's you know it's so tiny compared to what
he's doing he's essentially
doing a real audio book every time he releases a podcast so it takes a few
weeks to put each one out but
they're masterpieces and he's so dramatic like it makes uh it makes listening
to history exciting
um but there's a lot of cool books that they have on audible.com there's a plethora
over a hundred
thousand different titles they even have stand-up comedy uh i know they have
some of my shit up
there uh it's a a sweet what is that ender's game yeah who's uh what book is
that what is that i've heard of this before
yeah it's uh it's it's the war with like in like a hundred years into the
future it's really good
it's uh 20 it's 20 years old is it really huh 20 years ago was not that long
ago how weird is that
i used to think coming out about it i used to think 20 years ago it was like
god it was so long ago
remember when you were a kid you thought god 20 years ago it was the 1960s what
the
fuck you know how ridiculous is that and then you realize oh that shit happens
rather quick
yeah which is really weird when you wrap your head around it you think from
1950 to 2013 how
different shit is but it's only you know 63 years august is almost live over
doesn't it seem like it was
just august dude time's fine so what is this ender's game this is they're
making into a book uh this is a
audible book off but they're also making it or excuse me making it to a movie
yeah well the the beautiful
thing about audible is for fucking traffic and if you're on a plane or
something like that if you
don't want to listen to a podcast if you don't want to listen to us this is a
great way to go and
over a hundred thousand different titles and if you go to audible.com um you
can what is the
fucking hold on a second i think there's like a new thing we have to say with
audible oh no which
one is no it's squarespace squarespace is the confusing one because they want
the number afterwards
i want joe 8 to track the months yeah i think audible.com you just go to
audible.com forward
slash joe you get yeah that's all it is and you get one free audio book and 30
free days of service
it's a sweet deal and uh as far as like a resource of of information of uh of
cool audio books nothing
can fuck with audible it's an amazing site they also support stand-up comedy
they even had a live thing
where they were doing every week people would do like a new five minutes and
this didn't really work
out because that's a lot of time to come up with in five weeks people don't
like to think that but
to have like a rock solid five new minutes every week that you're really proud
of that you'd want to
put online wow that's hard yeah so steve marmel was doing that he was doing
that every week i remember
they uh they had a contract with him and a couple other dudes you know marmel's
real topical so he was
like uh trying to like just constantly write topical jokes about funny that's
happening in the news or
what have you but it was uh it's brutal that's a lot of that's a lot of time
yeah that's too hard to do
you mean you could do it but man you got to be on the ball every day if if you
want it to really truly
represent you so i think they stopped doing that but they have earth by uh john
stewart um does john
stewart read it he's got to read it you can't have somebody else read it scroll
back up not that one
one is that uh god no pen gillette does he read his own oh let's see that that'd
be a great one of
course he did yeah of course he did yeah why did you even ask sarah silverman
fucking destroyed on the
roast jesus oh she's hilarious yeah she's hilarious and she reads her own shit
too she's a very funny
person she's in my opinion like as far as like uh chick stand-ups and i hate to
break them up into
chicks but i'm gonna do it anyway you know she's like top two three all time
you know
what what women have been like i mean and i know a lot of people say what about
lucille ball
she's more of a comedic actress you know and as far as stand-ups i think joan
rivers is the queen
i think i don't think you can with joan rivers she's been funny for like 80
years yeah you can't
with her she's number one women of all time joan rivers and then you got like
the paula poundstones
and you got like uh roseanne bar who's a crusher i just heard an amazing
interview with her on uh
ron and fez the other day she's the real deal she you know what she's my her
and joan rivers man
that's actually kind of close when you think about that she's a beast we got to
get rosy she's funny
man she's funny man she was strong in the 80s i remember she was funny like the
best guys in the
world were funny you know i mean she was a killer she didn't give a and then
when they gave her a tv show she gave less fox she's a beast she was talking
about how she like
her first show or first comedy show in la like she had only been doing i think
comedy like two years
about mitzi loved her and that that same uh show like her first night in la
yeah that she booked the
tonight show on the first night that is insane insane we gotta get her on the
podcast i talked to her uh
like she was uh thinking about stopping by our san diego show and comic-con so
you chat with her yeah on
twitter she follows me that's so cool well she follows me on twitter like she
she asked me questions
sometimes she's all in like new world order type shit she's like magic with her
yeah having her
on podcast be amazing listen i just love to give her a hug tape it even if you
can't watch look i
i did rosie o'donnell show just to meet rosie i really did i i think she's
badass i like her whether
i agree with what she says about things or not i think rosie's got some balls
and she doesn't seem
like an asshole to me at all no when she had that show on vh1 with the badge
the stand-up badge that
the host quit and rosie took over that was when she was a strong ass woman and
the girl you like
dog she rips up some some stages too what's the chick on channel five every day
the one that's seen
you at the bus stop that's a lesbian chick that's seen you on the bus stop you
went on her show
the other day you were looking for tickets oh you're talking about that chick
ellen degeneres
ellen degeneres used to rip it up on her fucking date this dog yeah she ripped
it up there's a couple
motherfuckers that ripped it up paul poundstone ripped it up the chick from the
comedy store the
one that was in with the with them they smoked the joint with the chick with
the big tits uh lily tomlin
she used to rip up the oh yeah she had like uh she would do like more of a
theatrical thing yeah like a one
woman show but i i think you know in my opinion sarah silverman's right up
there i think she's one of the top
let's go top ones of all time rivers with a strong roseanne kicking the i don't
know man i'm a big
in 95. roseanne might have been better like as her delivery man no it's hard
dude it's very hard
because joan rivers is still out there swinging so in my opinion like you got
to give her number one
because she's still swinging you know she's still out there doing concerts and
killing but when they asked
if she was on the wrestler that's one of the funniest things ever she's pretty
gangster she was in the
wrestler i almost died when i heard i think um i think it's harder for a woman
to do stand up i'm
always saying this i think that men are sexist for the most part and they don't
want to listen to a
woman talk you know i think it's harder to get a lot of men's attention and
obviously that's a big
generalization because there's a lot of sarah silverman fans from men or a lot
of women fans of
comedy they're meant i think yeah yeah they're featuring i cheer for women when
they're featuring
and i love who go on stage headlining and think they're gonna follow a woman on
a saturday night
your better be tight because if this chick decides to go up there and goes her
way remember that's half
women goes her way you're gonna have a rough time and i've seen it happen oh
you know i've seen
boom on bacon bro i've seen a berry mother with ego at the store don't around
with women sometimes
i've seen shana tash berry motherfuckers in the or yeah i've seen her berry
motherfuckers in the or
there's a lot of women who take that room and flip you they don't have titties
they don't give a
fuck they look like they've been in the ass a thousand times and they go up
there with that attitude
and you're sitting there going wow what was the puerto rican chick at the store
early on that
married what's his name what are you talking about that she had the kid with
what's his name and
she did a couple episodes of nypd blue and she was on her way i saw her in
there a couple tuesday
nights and i was like damn this bitch she was on the road for a few years she
had a kid by that time
she had the kid she'd sit the kid in the bar at the comedy store and go do 15
minutes well i think i
told you they're like one of the most promising sets of an open miker i ever
saw was kelly kirsten
kelly kirsten absolutely dude let me tell you something kelly kirsten kelly kirsten
especially
when she didn't have a boyfriend she's a sweetie and she you know she'd get a
boyfriend she'd calm down
but when she didn't have a boyfriend she was angry and she did this bit man she
did this bit i wish i
was a man you know kelly's like i'm short i'm five eight and she's at least
five inches taller than me
right i mean how tall is she she's six one six two yeah i would say six she's a
very tall girl
and and she get fucking angry and she's like real physical and like she would
do she did this bit i
wish i was a man if i was a man i'd come in chicks and go fuck you have my kid
she goes if i was a man
she goes if i had a dick i'd kick old ladies into traffic and it's like this
really wild bit man listen
and i was an open mic or she was an open mic or rather i mean she was just
starting ou