Name: Joe Rogan Experience #406 - Tom Segura, Christina Pazsitzky
Uploaded: 2013-10-22T02:53:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #406 - Tom Segura, Christina Pazsitzky' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-10-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #406 - Tom Segura, Christina Pazsitzky' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-10-22. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #406 - Tom Segura, Christina Pazsitzky

hello freaks the fuck is going on out there in freak world and you're like hey
man i'm not a
freak but you are you really are everybody is it's impossible to avoid if you
think you're not
a freak you're more likely a freak if you think you're a freak you're probably
normal that's
probably the truth you're like i don't fucking fit in man you're probably
normal but all you
weirdos who think this makes sense oh fuck you fuck you all i'm not a freak yes
you are
this episode of the joe rogan experience podcast is brought to you by squarespace
listen freaks i know you need a website everybody does i've been telling my
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like netscape use your shit on netscape and it comes out of boxes that are
fucking stacked on top of
each other by the way none of the websites created during the making of this
podcast reflect reality
tom does not like cock he's a happily married man to a woman these are just
jokes his wife is here
okay we have actual solid evidence that he likes women his beard is here dumb
tom has butt sex in this
house um and that is online right now that's how easy it is to make a website
with square you know
what this is it i'm walking off come on my brother easy easy with that uh use
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super illegal what you need to do is hire someone who doesn't speak english and
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at the same time uh those are all sent by this service it's so simple it's uh
it's what what brian
uses i've talked to quite a few people that sell things and send them through
the mail on stamps.com
because you you know the postman actually comes to your house you give them the
packages and you're
diggity diggity done that's what tommy and christine's do to sell all their
shit absolutely they sponsored your mom's house yeah yeah uh-huh in the product
see this it really
is good you guys sell a lot of through your mom's house right yeah you're big
on like it's like what
was the the one line the new one the one the black guy that's yelling spikes
spikes yeah yeah the new
bikes shirt huge seller it's so cute watching them like work together too like
you go home and they have
like their whole little setup and they they it's like they they share like you
know turns like you
know we'll talk about that in a minute we'll talk about that in a minute
because i i do want to bring
that up because it is a bike adorable adorable uh anyway that's stamps.com the
code word is j-r-e
and uh use that and get yourself your 110 bonus offer it's excellent product
used by both your mom's
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aren't you dirty
bitches tom motherfucking segura and christina her last name should be segura
boom hit the music son
the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night i love it all
day
booyah booyah tom motherfucking segura christina motherfucking buzzer and uh december
31st there's
a big death squad show at the um american comedy company oh snap san diego california
and uh i know of
at least one person who you can't even say his name he's gonna be there because
he's not contractually
allowed to but he's hilarious so that's at least one that you know that you
know we can't even tell
you who's on his show is what we're trying to say yeah some top secret shit it's
halloween
there might be zombies i got my halloween outfit also it's a bad ass what are
you gonna be bribe right
a man my hat is a tip i'm sorry my hat is a tip uh i know what you're gonna be
i know exactly what
you're gonna be your hat is a tip can i guess you're a dickhead you're gonna be
a dolphin vagina yeah
it's a dolphin with pubic hair this is a mess in this right now in this this
path of thinking and
communication stop um oh brian what i was gonna say is that you guys when we
were talking the commercials
you guys like are the only comedian couple that i know that where it actually
works that's why i hate
generalizations i hate generalizations they drive me nuts because you know when
someone says well you
know all these men are angry this or all these women are angry that or you know
this is that and that
yeah well comedians they can never get along together it just doesn't work two
creative people
two people that think they're funny together it's not gonna work it never does
it's always like either
the girl's funnier than the guy or the guy's funnier than the girl and there's
always this weird
resentment thing yeah you guys are the only ones that i know that actually pull
it off
where you're both funny and you actually are like you're really best friends we
are on top of being
married like for like you have this air of it's very different than the air of
most couples you know
you think so much different much different i think we enjoy each other
like we enjoy each other's sense of humor legit yeah yeah and i think he's
super talented and amazing
that's the weird thing about it you guys you both actually like each other we
do it doesn't make
any sense we support each other trying to figure it out i've been trying to i'm
studying guys for
years i'm like there's something wrong here it is fun i didn't know what's
wrong i didn't realize it
and then i a guy a guy who's married to a comic or was i don't know anymore
because i haven't seen
him in a while but he was like uh hey man uh he saw me at an audition he's like
you get pissed
like when christina gets something and you don't get it that's the best and i
go uh that's super
healthy yeah i don't that's super healthy he goes that's my problem man i get
super pissed when my
wife gets something i was like wow that's not good yeah you need to go to a
doctor word but that's a
natural reaction with a lot of people that have never thought about their
thinking a lot of people's
thinking just operates on momentum and you know you might say oh that guy's an
asshole and they might
be an asshole in all respects because of the way they behave but it's the path
that get you on to
thinking like that that are the real problem right it's like a lot of people
when they do as while
they're doing the as they're barely even aware that they're doing it right just
you know they have
something wrong with them whatever it is emotionally whatever is in balance and
it just comes out like
that but a lot of it is just like how do you how'd you get to that like how do
you think about things
like what is your choice that you make like when someone if you feel if you
feel guilt or you feel
rather i'm not guilty those uh jealousy if you feel jealousy that because your
spouse got something
if you feel that like you should you should repel that you should figure out
what the is wrong
with that and go no no no this should be inspiring this should be wonderful
this should be fantastic like
you whatever it is that's trying to flare up its ugly green head you've got to
learn how to suppress
that some people never do or explore why the feeling is yes because usually
when you're jealous of
something someone else is doing it's because you want that thing and maybe you're
not doing what
you need to be doing absolutely that's really what that is absolutely there's a
lot of that for sure but
i think there's a few elements i think there's also just a natural competitive
element that a lot of
people have to fight off that they don't realize this person is not your enemy
just because this person is
winning you know this person is not your enemy because they're ahead of you in
this race sure
i