Name: JFK Assassination with Anthony Bourdain (from Joe Rogan Experience #138)
Uploaded: 2013-10-27T18:51:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JFK Assassination with Anthony Bourdain (from Joe Rogan Experience #138)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-10-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JFK Assassination with Anthony Bourdain (from Joe Rogan Experience #138)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-10-27. Transcript available.

The Joe Rogan Experience
So in your experience in all these other countries and when you see all these
different
regimes getting toppled, you don't think there's any American influence in
these things happening?
I don't think we're that good.
Really? You don't think the CIA is that good?
I've actually, I'm a CIA nerd.
I'm one of those like, I'm not a gamer, but I'm a guy who about 25 years ago
started reading up on the Kennedy assassination, got completely obsessed with
that,
and then it just, I'm one of these guys, I read footnotes
and a footnote leads me to another book, to another book.
You know, I disappeared down the rat hole for 10 years reading everything.
So I'm really...
Did you ever read Best Evidence?
Yeah.
My feeling is we're just, if history has taught us anything
and if you read all of the documents from all of the controversial periods of
CIA operations,
we just don't seem to be very good at these things.
And everybody rats and writes a book about it immediately after that.
So if it went well, you can be sure you'd be reading about it
or it would have been leaked to a magazine by now.
You know, so I just, I don't think...
That's so sad.
I don't think we're that good.
And I certainly don't think we have much of an appetite for controlling the
universe.
I think we're doing it...
We seem to be working very hard to hold the dam.
So you think the speculation about the CIA being involved,
like they're probably just very, very peripherally involved
and there's just shit happening no matter what...
Well, there are major CIA operations going on right now, without a doubt.
But I think this notion that there's an office somewhere
where the whole fate of the world is sort of decided,
what countries are going to evade over the next 10 years,
we're just not that good.
And we're definitely not that secure.
There's always, you know, three people know about something.
There's the greatest argument about the Kennedy, you know,
the 9-11 conspiracy theory, idiots,
the Kennedy assassination, the Looney Tunes.
If basically in this country,
if more than three people know about a thing,
one of them is going to be on the stand crying about it,
the other guy's going to be writing a book about it,
and maybe two guys will keep their mouths shut.
I think today,
I don't think during the time of the Kennedy assassination,
it would have been that difficult to hide things.
I think things were much less transparent back then than were today.
Yeah, but that's what's great about history.
Eventually, if you're willing to wait around,
to my view,
if you're willing to wait around,
every boring, grim detail will eventually come out.
And if you, as in the Kennedy assassination,
someone, I don't know who said it,
they described the mafia theory as the halfway house
for failed conspiracy theorists.
It's like, after you've decided the CIA didn't do it,
the FBI did it,
it's like, yeah, okay, well, it was the mafia, you know.
And there's, of course,
there's all this great evidence to support that theory,
but ultimately, I'm of the Oswald got a lucky shot theory.
Really?
Wow.
I read best evidence,
and that's one of the reasons why I first started believing
there was some sort of a conspiracy.
That was one of the first things that I saw
that made me really reconsider.
But later in life,
the thing that really got me
was the Northwoods document.
If you've never heard of that,
it's something that they drafted in the 1960s,
or 1960,
where,
61 or 62,
where Kennedy actually vetoed it,
and all the Joint Chiefs of Staff,
the Joint Chiefs of Staff signed it.
And they were going to have fake American terror attacks.
We were going to get a plane,
they were going to have a drone plane explode it,
and say a bunch of people died,
and they were going to attack Guantanamo Bay,
and they were going to arm Cuban friendlies
to attack Guantanamo Bay,
because we wanted to go to war with Cuba.
This was this Cuban Missile Crisis era.
1962.
There were so many complete...
This is, to me,
what's interesting about Kennedy's assassination conspiracy.
There was so much wacky shit going on around that time,
so much of it embarrassing,
criminal,
scary,
funny,
really silly going on at that time.
That, in fact,
the least interesting thing
about the entire,
you know,
big picture of the Kennedy assassination
is the actual assassination itself,
because what everybody else was up to at the time
and covering up
was just, like,
right out of a movie.
You know,
the CIA was meeting with,
you know,
Johnny Rosselli
and all these, like,
mafia guys
to whack out Castro.
You know,
there was just so much
other embarrassing shit going on
that, in many ways,
those stories
and where they lead
are a lot more entertaining
and complex
and fun
than a story of a guy,
you know,
shooting a president.
So if you believe
that Lee Harvey Oswald
acted alone,
what do you think about
when you see, like,
the Oliver Stone movie?
Does that drive you fucking crazy?
I would have liked
the film a lot better
if they'd just stuck
with a historical record
and he invented scenes
and characters,
you know,
which I thought was,
as a Kennedy assassination buff.
The Donald Sutherland character
didn't exist, right?
And there were just certain things
where just do mention
that the Garrison jury
was out for, like,
30 seconds.
Please mention
that Jim Garrison
is a man
of many interesting
local,
a man with an interesting past,
let's put it that way.
In what way?
Not a,
he did not,
not a reputation
that was debatable,
let's put it that way.
Which is never good.
The case was bad.
I mean,
he put a lot of
very interesting stuff together
and there was,
and all of it
was, like,
fascinating
and in a lot of ways,
a lot of it
was almost more interesting
than the,
there wasn't,
I don't believe,
in the octopus theory.
I think you had a lot
of really interesting,
very spooky characters
who'd been doing
a lot of really sinister
and interesting shit
for a long time.
Whether or not
they were actually involved
in the Kennedy assassination
is almost moot
because they were up
to some really other
wacky stuff.
Did the magic bullet theory
bother you at all?
I think if you talk,
and I have,
talked to people
who served in combat
for a long time,
the story of the buddy
who gets around
through the front
of his helmet,
it travels around
subcutaneously
around the skull
and enters out the back
without hurting the guy.
Everybody's got,
shit happens.
Shit happens.
I'm willing to believe
the magic bullet theory.
I wouldn't be willing
to believe it
except for the fact
that they came up
with it because
a guy got hit
with a ricochet
under the bridge.
And so they had
to attribute everything
to three shots
and I was like,
God,
that seems like
fucking shifty logic.
I don't know
what they call it,
but when you've eliminated
all the other suspects,
you're left with
the likely truth,
I think.
And to my satisfaction,
I've kind of eliminated
the other suspects.
Woody Harrelson's dad
didn't have any part of it
in the grassy hole.
Wasn't he rumored
to be one of the shooters?
Wasn't that part of it?
Yes, of course.
But Howard Hunt
was supposed to be there.
It's like,
you know,
everybody's there.
It's like Ronald McDonald
is there.
Why is that so sexy?
Why is it so sexy?
I wanted to believe it
so badly.
Bigfoot,
Loch Ness Monster,
UFOs,
Kennedy,
the whole deal.
It's way more fun
to think that
Lee Harvey Oswald
was a patsy.
But remember,
he was a really
interesting guy.
I think the book
that got it close,
got it most right
was a work of fiction,
Libra by Don DeLillo,
or it really gets
inside Oswald's head.
I mean,
Oswald was a guy
who,
his favorite show
as a teenager
was I Led Three Lives
about an undercover
FBI agent.
He was an intelligent,
he was a spy junkie.
In today's world,
he would have been
a gamer,
you know.
A nutty gamer.
He wanted to be,
he was a guy
who kind of wanted
to be,
to do big things.
And he tried
very hard.
He wanted to be
super secret KGB agent.
He wanted to be
super secret,
you know,
wanted to be a marine.
He probably volunteered
to the FBI
a couple of times.
He was just a guy
who wanted to do
something big.
So I don't have
a problem buying it.
So you had no problem
with the allegations
of them fixing
autopsy photos?
I have problems
with all of it
because I was lost
in it for 10 years.
But the Kennedy family
had very good reason
to ask for,
you know,
the brain.
I mean,
he had Addison's disease
and the implications
of Addison's disease
towards the Kennedy history
were not favorable.
You know,
apparently,
I don't know,
but apparently
it has been said
that he had multiple
bouts of syphilis.
This is,
you know,
you don't want,
the family didn't want
the president,
you know,
people,
they didn't want
this part of the record.
Multiple bouts of syphilis.
Holla at your boy.
Those are the days
where being a president
was worth it.
Really?
He took amphetamines
in large doses
early at his point.
Who knows what he was taking.
Did he really?
He had a doctor,
Max Jacobson,
I believe was the name.
He did have a doctor
who would shoot him
with vitamin,
I think,
B12 and amphetamine
according to one of the...
B12 mixed with speed.
That's how that dude
was really...
Not uncommon
at certain levels.
It was a very,
you know,
a society thing
to do back then.
That's a five-hour
energy drink.
That's what it is.
B12.
I think a lot of people
didn't even know.
He was the original doctor.
He was known
as Dr. Feelgood
and that's where
the name came from,
doctor.
I believe it was
Dr. Max Jacobson.
I don't know.
Legendary.
Wow.
Sort of doctor
to the stars
back in the Warhol.
And Kennedy's disease,
what did it have to do?
Was it a motor skill thing?
What is it?
That I don't...
But apparently
there are in the symptoms,
the possible symptoms,
I think there can be
emotional...
emotional content
to the disease.
So theoretically
it could have affected
his judgment.
It was unflattering.
I believe he was in a lot of...
This was a guy
in a lot of pain too.
Yeah.
Supposedly, right?
Yeah.
But back then
you just didn't want
to talk about these things.
And I think a lot of people
ran around in circles
covering things up
for their own reasons.
And in fact,
most of them had
really terrible things
to cover up.
That back then thing
is really fascinating
when you think about it.
It's not that long ago.
I was...
Listen, I was alive.
I remember being sent
home from school.
When Kennedy was killed?
When Kennedy was killed.
But I go for
the simple explanation
much of the time.
That's the good move.
I keep myself...
I keep the crazy open.
I open the door for crazy
because I've seen
some things.
I leave it open.
But I agree with you.
Most of the time
I go with the simple door.
Right.
With crop circles
and UFOs
and the Loch Ness Monster
and Bigfoot.
Most of the time
I go for the simple door.
People are full of shit
and that story sucks.
That's how I usually go.
But I leave the door
for crazy open.
And I leave the door.
I'm going to go to the next episode.