Name: A Ferocious Ear Beating with Tom & Christina (from Joe Rogan Experience #406)
Uploaded: 2013-11-16T21:13:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Ferocious Ear Beating with Tom & Christina (from Joe Rogan Experience #406)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-11-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Ferocious Ear Beating with Tom & Christina (from Joe Rogan Experience #406)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-11-16. Transcript available.

The Joe Rogan experience.
It's going to happen, but there's always going to be people that do.
There always have been, from Amelia Earhart to fill in the blank, all
throughout history.
There's always been women that have figured out a way to achieve and do things
that they really, truly enjoy doing.
Like our flight attendant.
Oh no, stop now.
Stop.
The hijacker, I heard about her.
We got hijacked for the longest time I've ever been hijacked as an adult.
Oh no.
Tommy and I were having a fun little conversation and we ordered a little glass
of wine because
we're gentlemen and we're on a business trip.
We decided to have a little wine and we're sitting there and the woman came
over and she
made a joke about the temperature of the wine and I made the mistake of going,
is it like
you're apologizing and it's too cold?
That's funny.
I've never heard anybody apologize if wine is too cold.
She goes, oh, well, if you remember the scene from sideways, I've never really
been much
into wine.
The only time I drink wine is in church, but there's a funny thing about wine.
I knew a guy and the guy was a wine connoisseur and they brought him a bottle
of wine and
said, should we put this in the refrigerator?
He screamed, don't you touch it and put it in the refrigerator.
Don't you put a hand on that wine and bring it in the refrigerator.
I thought it was so funny, but of course I don't drink.
The only time I drink is a drink.
And it went on and on and on.
Yes.
To the point where I was lucky because I was in the window.
So I just abandoned Tommy.
I knew.
I lifted up the window and I put my face to the glass.
And then I reached into my laptop bag and I pulled out my notepad and I started
writing
down.
And I wrote in my notepad that flight attendant won't shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
I wrote that in my notepad.
I started writing it in front of her too.
And then Tommy took her.
Yes.
Well, first of all, when she came over, she goes, do you want something to
drink?
I said, yeah, do you have Pinot Noir?
Which is not that crazy to say.
Sometimes they go, no, we have Cab.
We have something that won't shut the fuck up.
Oh, that's great.
I was like, this has to be addressed.
When I said, do you have Pinot Noir?
She goes, excuse me?
And I go, Pinot Noir?
She goes, do you think you're in Lyon, France?
Yeah.
And I was like, no.
It's not even fancy.
Yeah, it's not crazy.
And she was like, we got red or white?
And I was like, all right, red.
And then when she came back, it was sideways.
It was the sommelier at Macy's who, when I worked at the hospital, they brought
him the wine.
And he said, should I chill this?
And he was like, no, I should chill.
And we're talking about the most boring sentences.
Oh, yeah.
These were incredibly boring sentences.
The worst.
So we're just like, oh, God.
When she left.
And you're trapped.
When she left, and we go like, what the fuck was that?
She left, she came back, and I just made, I just looked up.
She goes, did you ever see the movie Simon?
And I was like, uh-uh.
She was like, my favorite scene in that is a wine scene.
And I was like, all right.
She goes, and this is when I zoned out.
She was like, Bruce Willis and whatever actor.
And she was like, and they knocked over at all the wine fall.
I thought it was a great scene.
And I was like, yeah.
She wouldn't stop.
Yeah.
And you know what's really fascinating?
Painful.
Before this happened, before this happened, Tommy nailed her personality.
Because we may or may not have had travel before we got on that plane.
And so we were, it was just starting to kick in in mid-flight.
And he goes, you know what I think?
I think that they put her on this small plane because she can't work well with
others.
Oh, right.
And that the other students don't like working with her.
So they stick her on these small planes because she doesn't want to be around
anybody.
She's probably been doing this a long time.
And they know she doesn't work well with others.
And then she came over and just right away gave us the ferocious ear beating.
And I was like, she's right.
Yes.
It was an ear beating.
Well, it's also, she gave us an ear beating on shutting off the phones, too.
Like everything was an ear beating.
Held up her phone.
Yeah.
I pressed this button.
And we didn't have our phones on.
It's not like we were resisting.
We shut our phones off.
But she did it for the whole thing.
Like, this is what I want you to do.
Right.
You see this button.
I want you to press this button.
Not in airplane mode, folks.
Not in airplane mode.
I want you to shut this button.
If you have an iPhone, I want you to slide that over that says shut it off.
And I mean, she's going on and on and on.
It's taking a long ass time.
And if you wanted to read a book or if you wanted to, you know, listen to your
iPod, that's not happening.
No, you're dealing with this nonsense.
Yeah.
You're dealing with it.
And you can't even fight against that nonsense.
No.
Because if you argue at all about anything, they kick you off the plane.
Yep.
She's got the power.
It's over.
I had a friend get kicked off the plane because he was upset that they didn't
find a seat for his son next to him.
Like, they didn't find anybody that was willing to move.
It was an hour and a half flight from San Francisco to Seattle.
It's a quick ass flight.
And they, you know, he said, is there, is it possible?
She was like, sir, we've tried.
There's nothing we can do.
He goes, I have a five-year-old though.
Like, why did you guys sell me a ticket?
I told you who's five years old.
You can't have a five-year-old sit by himself.
He's terrified of flying in the first place.
Like, all I'm asking is someone, if you ask if someone could switch seats.
And she said, sir, I've tried.
There's nothing we can do.
Please take your seat.
And he was like, you guys are the most unfamily-friendly airline.
Like, you guys are horrible.
I can't believe you're doing this.
So that's all he says.
He goes and sits down and the fucking captain comes up to him.
Says, sir, you're going to have to come off the same.
They say you're aggressive and you're...
And he was like, what?
He goes, you must be joking.
He goes, all I asked is if they could find a seat for my son.
I didn't use profanity.
I didn't raise my voice.
I said, you guys are the most unfamily-friendly airline that I've ever seen.
That's all I said.
Because you weren't even willing to, like, look for someone.
And they kicked him off the plane.
Cutting it off.
Yep.
And he was like, I can't believe this.
He goes, I'm not aggressive.
But we saw that.
Was it you and I that saw that?
Who did we see?
Were we on a plane?
We saw two guys arguing about the bin.
I don't know.
Are you with me on that one?
I don't think.
I've seen two people kicked off planes.
It might have been Ari.
I've seen a lady get kicked off for having attitude about her whole day.
She was like, you put me later on this shit.
And now I'm here.
And fuck that.
And she was just complaining, complaining, complaining.
And she was, I think, aggressive speaking to them.
Boom.
Boot.
And I saw one who got kicked her whole family off.
And she had small children.
She was breastfeeding one of them.
And they were like, we're going to taxi now.
And you need to, you know.
Why'd she get kicked off?
She gave the lady attitude about, the flight attendant attitude, when the
flight attendant
asked her, I don't know if she asked her to stop breastfeeding while we were in
a taxi.
Oh, come on.
But she told her, like, you know, why don't you just worry about the drinks
while I'm breastfeeding?
And they were like, uh-uh.
And then we stopped.
And they actually, that one, they had police come out to the, they didn't even
go back.
The police came out.
They opened the door.
Do you think they just get off on the power?
Absolutely.
I think sometimes, uh, I think sometimes they, they absolutely want to protect
themselves
and they have to, you know, you can't have somebody who's an actual threat to
the flight.
But I think, I think there's definitely a thrill in knowing that if somebody
gives you
kind of a little jab, kind of a little attitude, you can be like, I could fuck
up your day right
now.
Yeah.
Pretty, pretty badly.
And I can justify it.
And we were talking about that, that this ability to hijack you is kind of the
same
thing because in a normal scenario, you don't have to listen to this person.
You're not stuck in a chair, literally strapped in with a fucking belt.
Yeah.
You have to listen.
Right.
Like it's, and then they can just hover over you and just shit in your face.
That's why you pop your headphones on in your hood, in your glasses.
Yeah, but you can't do that in the middle of a conversation where you're having
a conversation
with another guy and then you're having a wine and then all of a sudden, boom,
you're stuck.
You're hijacked.
The glasses, I don't know if you remember, the glasses were these, they were
like tasting
glasses.
They were very small.
Very small.
And the first time I had two sips and it was empty and she goes, do you want a
refill?
And I go, yeah.
And she goes, we got a couple of drinkers up here.
And I was like, it's kind of like, you know, I can see a certain person, not me
personally,
but I could see that comment really setting somebody off the, the outside
implication of
like, we're a couple of drunkers.
I don't want to say any more than that.
No, no, no need to say any more than we already said.
We already got too cruel.
Poor lady.
She's lonely.
She wants to talk to people.
Jesus Christ.
And it's also, cause you've had, that's okay.
You're an asshole.
I'm an asshole.
I feel, I feel all right about it.
But don't you think it's an inability to read a social queue?
Yes.
Oh, there's no doubt.
She has no doubt.
Zero ability.
She wasn't good at it or she didn't care.
She just wanted to talk.
Yeah.
You know, who knows?
You know, a lot of people, by the way, are a little pilled up and they don't
even know
that you don't want them to talk to you.
Like there's some, every peop, everything's going to be okay, folks.
There's a few of those people that are antidepressant to fuck up.
Yes.
Super duper common.
If you look at the number of prescriptions sold, the number of antidepressant
prescriptions
that are sold in this country every year, it's staggering.
I believe it's like 30 million, 30 million people.
Let's see.
Let's see how many people are on antidepressants.
Let's just guess.
I'm saying it's about 30 million.
Yeah.
I think, remember that book, Prozac Nation?
Was that in the 90s?
That's when they started it.
It's exploded.
And like everyone was on Prozac then.
It's exploded.
It's such a huge industry.
I know a handful of people.
I have a friend on Prozac.
Yeah.
So do I.
Good guy too.
Great guy.
Astounding increase in antidepressant use by Americans.
A Harvard University study.
Harvard Health publications from Harvard Medical School.
Or you could just smoke weed, right?
People 12 and over increased by almost 400%.
Wow.
Between 1988 to 1994 and then from 2005 to 2008.
That's incredible.
Holy shit.
23% of all people on antidepressants are women in their 40s and 50s.
No, no, no.
Excuse me.
23% of women in their 40s and 50s are on antidepressants.
Wow.
That's one in four.
Yeah.
But that makes sense.
23%.
Holy shit.
You're saying you're going through the change of life.
A higher percentage than any other group by age or sex.
Just stop and think about that.
23% of women in their 40s and 50s are on a pill.
That keeps them happy.
Statistically, there's a really good chance that our flight attendant is one of
those people.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Look, I had a friend that was on it.
And one of the things he said to me was that when he was on it, nothing
bothered him.
He was on Zoloft and he's like, nothing bothers me.
Nothing conveys me.
Everything's fine.
Nothing bothers me.
Yeah.
And those kind of people, they don't see things coming.
They're not aware that they're being weird.
I wonder what the interesting, obviously it won't happen,
but to hear what her version of that dialogue would be.
You know what I mean?
Yes.
It's also kind of like, it was great to talk to those guys.
So much fun.
These two guys were drinking wine.
We had a great conversation.
They loved me.
They loved my fucking anecdotes about sideways.
I told them the sideways story and never seen two guys have a better time in a
flight.
I mean, they were pretty, they were pretty on the end of the fucking bottle.
Yeah.
One of them had two drinks.
The other one had about five.
Uh-huh.
Maybe a total of four ounces.
It was pretty.
They were, they were really little glasses.
A dripping glass.
Yeah.
Of wine.
Yeah.

A Ferocious Ear Beating with Tom & Christina (from Joe Rogan Experience #406)

The Joe Rogan experience.
It's going to happen, but there's always going to be people that do.
There always have been, from Amelia Earhart to fill in the blank, all
throughout history.
There's always been women that have figured out a way to achieve and do things
that they really, truly enjoy doing.
Like our flight attendant.
Oh no, stop now.
Stop.
The hijacker, I heard about her.
We got hijacked for the longest time I've ever been hijacked as an adult.
Oh no.
Tommy and I were having a fun little conversation and we ordered a little glass
of wine because
we're gentlemen and we're on a business trip.
We decided to have a little wine and we're sitting there and the woman came
over and she
made a joke about the temperature of the wine and I made the mistake of going,
is it like
you're apologizing and it's too cold?
That's funny.
I've never heard anybody apologize if wine is too cold.
She goes, oh, well, if you remember the scene from sideways, I've never really
been much
into wine.
The only time I drink wine is in church, but there's a funny thing about wine.
I knew a guy and the guy was a wine connoisseur and they brought him a bottle
of wine and
said, should we put this in the refrigerator?
He screamed, don't you touch it and put it in the refrigerator.
Don't you put a hand on that wine and bring it in the refrigerator.
I thought it was so funny, but of course I don't drink.
The only time I drink is a drink.
And it went on and on and on.
Yes.
To the point where I was lucky because I was in the window.
So I just abandoned Tommy.
I knew.
I lifted up the window and I put my face to the glass.
And then I reached into my laptop bag and I pulled out my notepad and I started
writing
down.
And I wrote in my notepad that flight attendant won't shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
I wrote that in my notepad.
I started writing it in front of her too.
And then Tommy took her.
Yes.
Well, first of all, when she came over, she goes, do you want something to
drink?
I said, yeah, do you have Pinot Noir?
Which is not that crazy to say.
Sometimes they go, no, we have Cab.
We have something that won't shut the fuck up.
Oh, that's great.
I was like, this has to be addressed.
When I said, do you have Pinot Noir?
She goes, excuse me?
And I go, Pinot Noir?
She goes, do you think you're in Lyon, France?
Yeah.
And I was like, no.
It's not even fancy.
Yeah, it's not crazy.
And she was like, we got red or white?
And I was like, all right, red.
And then when she came back, it was sideways.
It was the sommelier at Macy's who, when I worked at the hospital, they brought
him the wine.
And he said, should I chill this?
And he was like, no, I should chill.
And we're talking about the most boring sentences.
Oh, yeah.
These were incredibly boring sentences.
The worst.
So we're just like, oh, God.
When she left.
And you're trapped.
When she left, and we go like, what the fuck was that?
She left, she came back, and I just made, I just looked up.
She goes, did you ever see the movie Simon?
And I was like, uh-uh.
She was like, my favorite scene in that is a wine scene.
And I was like, all right.
She goes, and this is when I zoned out.
She was like, Bruce Willis and whatever actor.
And she was like, and they knocked over at all the wine fall.
I thought it was a great scene.
And I was like, yeah.
She wouldn't stop.
Yeah.
And you know what's really fascinating?
Painful.
Before this happened, before this happened, Tommy nailed her personality.
Because we may or may not have had travel before we got on that plane.
And so we were, it was just starting to kick in in mid-flight.
And he goes, you know what I think?
I think that they put her on this small plane because she can't work well with
others.
Oh, right.
And that the other students don't like working with her.
So they stick her on these small planes because she doesn't want to be around
anybody.
She's probably been doing this a long time.
And they know she doesn't work well with others.
And then she came over and just right away gave us the ferocious ear beating.
And I was like, she's right.
Yes.
It was an ear beating.
Well, it's also, she gave us an ear beating on shutting off the phones, too.
Like everything was an ear beating.
Held up her phone.
Yeah.
I pressed this button.
And we didn't have our phones on.
It's not like we were resisting.
We shut our phones off.
But she did it for the whole thing.
Like, this is what I want you to do.
Right.
You see this button.
I want you to press this button.
Not in airplane mode, folks.
Not in airplane mode.
I want you to shut this button.
If you have an iPhone, I want you to slide that over that says shut it off.
And I mean, she's going on and on and on.
It's taking a long ass time.
And if you wanted to read a book or if you wanted to, you know, listen to your
iPod, that's not happening.
No, you're dealing with this nonsense.
Yeah.
You're dealing with it.
And you can't even fight against that nonsense.
No.
Because if you argue at all about anything, they kick you off the plane.
Yep.
She's got the power.
It's over.
I had a friend get kicked off the plane because he was upset that they didn't
find a seat for his son next to him.
Like, they didn't find anybody that was willing to move.
It was an hour and a half flight from San Francisco to Seattle.
It's a quick ass flight.
And they, you know, he said, is there, is it possible?
She was like, sir, we've tried.
There's nothing we can do.
He goes, I have a five-year-old though.
Like, why did you guys sell me a ticket?
I told you who's five years old.
You can't have a five-year-old sit by himself.
He's terrified of flying in the first place.
Like, all I'm asking is someone, if you ask if someone could switch seats.
And she said, sir, I've tried.
There's nothing we can do.
Please take your seat.
And he was like, you guys are the most unfamily-friendly airline.
Like, you guys are horrible.
I can't believe you're doing this.
So that's all he says.
He goes and sits down and the fucking captain comes up to him.
Says, sir, you're going to have to come off the same.
They say you're aggressive and you're...
And he was like, what?
He goes, you must be joking.
He goes, all I asked is if they could find a seat for my son.
I didn't use profanity.
I didn't raise my voice.
I said, you guys are the most unfamily-friendly airline that I've ever seen.
That's all I said.
Because you weren't even willing to, like, look for someone.
And they kicked him off the plane.
Cutting it off.
Yep.
And he was like, I can't believe this.
He goes, I'm not aggressive.
But we saw that.
Was it you and I that saw that?
Who did we see?
Were we on a plane?
We saw two guys arguing about the bin.
I don't know.
Are you with me on that one?
I don't think.
I've seen two people kicked off planes.
It might have been Ari.
I've seen a lady get kicked off for having attitude about her whole day.
She was like, you put me later on this shit.
And now I'm here.
And fuck that.
And she was just complaining, complaining, complaining.
And she was, I think, aggressive speaking to them.
Boom.
Boot.
And I saw one who got kicked her whole family off.
And she had small children.
She was breastfeeding one of them.
And they were like, we're going to taxi now.
And you need to, you know.
Why'd she get kicked off?
She gave the lady attitude about, the flight attendant attitude, when the
flight attendant
asked her, I don't know if she asked her to stop breastfeeding while we were in
a taxi.
Oh, come on.
But she told her, like, you know, why don't you just worry about the drinks
while I'm breastfeeding?
And they were like, uh-uh.
And then we stopped.
And they actually, that one, they had police come out to the, they didn't even
go back.
The police came out.
They opened the door.
Do you think they just get off on the power?
Absolutely.
I think sometimes, uh, I think sometimes they, they absolutely want to protect
themselves
and they have to, you know, you can't have somebody who's an actual threat to
the flight.
But I think, I think there's definitely a thrill in knowing that if somebody
gives you
kind of a little jab, kind of a little attitude, you can be like, I could fuck
up your day right
now.
Yeah.
Pretty, pretty badly.
And I can justify it.
And we were talking about that, that this ability to hijack you is kind of the
same
thing because in a normal scenario, you don't have to listen to this person.
You're not stuck in a chair, literally strapped in with a fucking belt.
Yeah.
You have to listen.
Right.
Like it's, and then they can just hover over you and just shit in your face.
That's why you pop your headphones on in your hood, in your glasses.
Yeah, but you can't do that in the middle of a conversation where you're having
a conversation
with another guy and then you're having a wine and then all of a sudden, boom,
you're stuck.
You're hijacked.
The glasses, I don't know if you remember, the glasses were these, they were
like tasting
glasses.
They were very small.
Very small.
And the first time I had two sips and it was empty and she goes, do you want a
refill?
And I go, yeah.
And she goes, we got a couple of drinkers up here.
And I was like, it's kind of like, you know, I can see a certain person, not me
personally,
but I could see that comment really setting somebody off the, the outside
implication of
like, we're a couple of drunkers.
I don't want to say any more than that.
No, no, no need to say any more than we already said.
We already got too cruel.
Poor lady.
She's lonely.
She wants to talk to people.
Jesus Christ.
And it's also, cause you've had, that's okay.
You're an asshole.
I'm an asshole.
I feel, I feel all right about it.
But don't you think it's an inability to read a social queue?
Yes.
Oh, there's no doubt.
She has no doubt.
Zero ability.
She wasn't good at it or she didn't care.
She just wanted to talk.
Yeah.
You know, who knows?
You know, a lot of people, by the way, are a little pilled up and they don't
even know
that you don't want them to talk to you.
Like there's some, every peop, everything's going to be okay, folks.
There's a few of those people that are antidepressant to fuck up.
Yes.
Super duper common.
If you look at the number of prescriptions sold, the number of antidepressant
prescriptions
that are sold in this country every year, it's staggering.
I believe it's like 30 million, 30 million people.
Let's see.
Let's see how many people are on antidepressants.
Let's just guess.
I'm saying it's about 30 million.
Yeah.
I think, remember that book, Prozac Nation?
Was that in the 90s?
That's when they started it.
It's exploded.
And like everyone was on Prozac then.
It's exploded.
It's such a huge industry.
I know a handful of people.
I have a friend on Prozac.
Yeah.
So do I.
Good guy too.
Great guy.
Astounding increase in antidepressant use by Americans.
A Harvard University study.
Harvard Health publications from Harvard Medical School.
Or you could just smoke weed, right?
People 12 and over increased by almost 400%.
Wow.
Between 1988 to 1994 and then from 2005 to 2008.
That's incredible.
Holy shit.
23% of all people on antidepressants are women in their 40s and 50s.
No, no, no.
Excuse me.
23% of women in their 40s and 50s are on antidepressants.
Wow.
That's one in four.
Yeah.
But that makes sense.
23%.
Holy shit.
You're saying you're going through the change of life.
A higher percentage than any other group by age or sex.
Just stop and think about that.
23% of women in their 40s and 50s are on a pill.
That keeps them happy.
Statistically, there's a really good chance that our flight attendant is one of
those people.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Look, I had a friend that was on it.
And one of the things he said to me was that when he was on it, nothing
bothered him.
He was on Zoloft and he's like, nothing bothers me.
Nothing conveys me.
Everything's fine.
Nothing bothers me.
Yeah.
And those kind of people, they don't see things coming.
They're not aware that they're being weird.
I wonder what the inte