Name: Strong Weed with B Real (from Joe Rogan Experience #189)
Uploaded: 2013-11-21T23:24:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Strong Weed with B Real (from Joe Rogan Experience #189)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-11-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Strong Weed with B Real (from Joe Rogan Experience #189)' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-11-21. Transcript available.

the Joe Rogan experience. It's like Joe said earlier it's you know for some
people they can't
handle the shit right there needs to be a driver's test for it you know what I
mean yeah there should
be a driver's test for pot that's a good call. Everybody handles their shit
different. A driver's
test for pot is actually a very good call. Yeah exactly just get you really stoned
and you have
to listen to some like Grateful Dead and then get you really stoned and listen
to some punk
and then get really stoned and mix it with some alcohol you know there's like
all these tests that
you have to do and then you get graded on each one like okay you can get stoned
with everyone
except women you know you we put you with three women and you totally just
started combing their
hair and then you started hitting them so you know. Yeah yeah there should be
some some evaluation
but then to be by who the government the government's gonna be able to step in
and tell you what you can't do. No it should be like the Boy Scouts or
something. The Boy Scouts. We should take you on a camping trip. It should be
us. We should be the ones to make the regulation.
Yeah it should be. The internet. You should have to write a blog and the
internet can decide whether or
not you're not you're a douche. You know just tell us about yourself. Tell us
about yourself. Well you know I'm fucking pretty awesome. Basically I'm the
best at everything I do. I totally fucking rule. Yeah you can't get weed. You
can't handle this shit. No. You need a few yoga classes first son. No I've seen
people totally freak out. There was one time man when like when when the
Cush first came around in 1995, right?
I was one of the first people with it here in Cali.
And the Cush is just super strong.
The OG Cush is obviously one of the strongest.
Deep Indica.
Deep Indica.
To me, it's the strongest.
I've smoked other shit that was strong, but that one, after smoking it for like
maybe since 95 till now,
it still gets me high as fuck.
That sounds ridiculous.
I can't say that for any other herb.
I can smoke shit loads of herb all day.
But when we first got that, so like we were the only ones with it at the time,
you know,
it was like a small circle of guys and we were on tour.
We went to Michigan, right?
And Michigan had some good herb, you know what I mean?
They had some nice, green, smelly shit.
And we were backstage chilling.
And one of my friends, you know, he had a group of girls that he knew out there
and shit.
And they come back.
Hey, so you're Cypress Hill, huh?
Where's all the weed at?
I don't smoke no, don't smell no weed in here.
I heard you guys are the weed kings and all that.
And I'm like, oh shit, here we go.
And I bet you don't got no better weed than me.
We're like, all right, well, we'll smoke some of our shit with you.
But look, if we smoke our shit, all jokes aside, just hit it slow.
Don't hit it hard because this shit is really strong.
And I know you're talking all that shit.
But just, you know, just trust me.
Don't hit this too hard, right?
She goes, I probably smoke better weed than you.
Oh, no.
I'm like, okay, all right, okay.
This was like in 1997.
Everybody always wants to pretend they have the best weed.
Why is that?
And they always want to brag to me that they do.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, no one's ever like, yo, my weed is shit.
My weed is crap, man.
I got bullshit weed, man.
I got some whack weed.
You don't want to smoke.
I'm barely high, dude.
I got some whack weed, but you want to smoke my shit?
I smoke all day and I'm barely high.
But I only say that when I know the other person has better weed.
And I want to go, oh, no, because I want to smoke your weed.
You know, so she says to you, I've smoked better weed than you.
I've probably smoked better weed than you, right?
So I'm like, all right.
Is that a more preposterous statement?
Yeah.
I mean, I've never seen a picture of you without a pot leave next to you
somewhere.
You know, so she was openly testing me, right?
So I said, okay, let's roll one up then, right?
So we roll one up.
And just like I told her not to do, she takes a fucking huge hit, like trying
to show off,
you know.
Oh, God.
You know, the super exaggerated, let me prove how big of a stoner I am hit,
right?
Wrong move.
Wrong fucking move.
She starts coughing up lungs and shit, head spinning.
And like within five to ten minutes, she was like, what did you guys put in
this weed?
I've never felt this before.
What did you put guys with this guy?
This shit was laced.
This shit was laced.
I never smoked nothing like this.
I've been smoking a long time.
I've never smoked too.
I'm like, see, I told you.
Look, I said, we hit the shit too.
I mean, you don't see us freaking out.
You know, there was nothing.
You watched me roll it.
I told you not to hit it hard.
I said, you know what?
You better take this bitch home.
You know what?
Get your friend and take her home.
She can't handle her shit.
Oh, wow.
Have you ever felt that, though, at all?
Have you ever smoked something where you're like, this shit was laced?
This was like embalming fluid or something like this.
I have a story like that, but I didn't freak out like that.
Right.
You know, we had just filmed this video for Latin Lingo off of our first album,
and I hadn't smoked all day.
My homie that lived in Long Beach, you know, he was like, yeah, come up, bro,
we're fucking blazing right now, you know?
And it was about 10, 11 o'clock, whatever.
So I head all the way out to Long Beach, and he hands me a bowl.
It's a circle.
The guy's fucking room is just smoked out.
I'm like, okay, well, fuck it.
It's not going to take long to get high here.
So he gives me this three-foot bong, you know, one of those graphics ones.
Remember the old graphics, acrylics with, like, the tin bottom and shit?
So he gives me one of those.
I take a hit.
I'm feeling cool.
Right?
It goes around the circle, comes back to me.
Boom, I hit another one.
Third, comes back a third time.
So after the third time, I'm, like, feeling extra high.
And I've, like, that's usually nothing to me.
I was like, what the fuck, man?
Why am I feeling, I'm, like, starting to feel closed-ended, claustrophobic.
I'm like, what the fuck?
I'm like, it's fucking hot in here, man.
Can you open the window, bro?
I'm fucking dying.
I can't breathe, right?
And they're like, dude, why are you freaking out?
I said, I don't know, man.
I'm high right now.
He goes, oh, it must be the hash we put on the bottom of the bowl.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, exactly.
I didn't know there was hash on the bottom of the bowl, but I was freaking out
at first
because I'm, like, man, I've smoked this weed before.
Why am I so tripping off of three fucking bowls?
I had to leave.
I'm, like, all right, guys.
I got to go, man.
Hash is a very odd high.
It's heavy.
Especially when you're not expecting it.
It's heavy.
Yeah, it definitely wasn't.
It's like a super cousin to marijuana.
Nobody went out of their way to tell me until after.
I took all three bowls.
Oh, my goodness.
You know, like a chap, you know, because I was a bong-hitting motherfucker back
then.
And, man, dude, after, like, 15 minutes, I was just like, man, I'm feeling
crispy.
What the fuck is going on?
This usually is just a warm-up.
Yeah, I took a cookie once on a plane, and it was, every now and then, you get
a cookie
that just blows your fucking mind.
And I took it before I got on board, and so I figured, I always time it for,
like, an hour
and 20 minutes.
That's usually what it takes, right?
Before you're just not moving.
That's it.
Wherever you are is where you stay.
So I got on board, got in just in time, but the plane takes off.
I strap in.
I pull back, click, click on the seat, right, and just go into orbit.
Eyes closed.
I'm watching, like, neon cartoons fuck in front of my eyeballs, and I'm, like,
literally seeing
hallucinations.
Shit.
And I'm feeling my body flying through the air going 500 miles an hour.
I'm, like, super hyper aware that I'm in this metal tube hurling through the
sky.
You're fucking super in, yeah.
And I'm leaning back in my chair while this is going on.
I'm going, fuck!
This is crazy!
And I'm hallucinating at the same time and seeing crazy things.
Damn.
You'll take cookies, and you'll be convinced it's over.
Oh, yeah.
This is it.
Look, man.
I can't survive this.
The cookies are misleading.
The cookies are misleading.
They seem so cute.
Yeah.
They taste so fucking good.
You're, like, and then they don't hit you right away, so you're, like, oh,
maybe I got
to eat another one.
And then before you know it, you're, like, three in and fucking toasted beyond
belief.
I know.
I've said this a hundred times in the podcast before, but I just have to say it
in the
interest that somebody might not know this.
If you eat it, it's a totally different high.
Totally different high.
Because your brain, your body produces something called 11-hydroxymetabolite.
It's by eating it, it gets processed by your liver, and it's four to five times
more psychoactive
than THC.
Yeah.
So that's the real issue with it.
This is not, no one educates anybody about this.
Yeah.
You know, you just think it's, oh, this is strong.
It's not just strong.
It's not just strong.
It's something you've never experienced before.
Yeah.
If you do too much, you'll freak out.
Yeah, it's a psychedelic.
Yeah, for sure.
It's a psychedelic.
If you have enough of it, for sure.
You could definitely have one of those freak outs where you're, like, I want it
to end.
I want it to end.
Yeah.
And the thing is, you cannot make it end.
You've got to ride it all the way the fuck out.
Dude, my friend Eddie Bravo had one where he was crying and thinking about his
grandmother
and going through some crazy shit about this.
He had created some character.
Like, it was, like, a white guy who wanted to be a black rapper so bad,
he put black makeup on.
He was, like, literally putting blackface on.
And he was saying that he had vitiligo and that, you know, he was just trying
to even his skin out.
But he got so high from eating his brownie that he was so sorry that he made it.
And he was like, man, people are going to misunderstand.
They're going to hate me.
They're going to think I'm making fun of black people.
What did I do?
Like, he was terrified.
It was like he had gone to the grips of sanity.
Yeah.
And then in the morning, you know, he was fine again.
Yeah, he's totally, yeah, back down to earth, man.
That shit makes you so fucking paranoid.
Yeah, when you get super fucking high like that off of, you know, an edible, I
mean, you get, you know,
either you have a great time, you know what I mean, and, you know, you relish
it.
It's like, yes, this was the fucking perfect, perfect amount to have.
Or you're that guy, like, you know, like I said, I want it to end right now.
But you can't, you have to ride it out.
You have to ride it out.
You have to ride it out.
And just always remember to breathe.
You're a fucking human.
being.