Name: Joe Rogan Experience #421 - Christopher Ryan
Uploaded: 2013-11-28T05:20:50.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #421 - Christopher Ryan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-11-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #421 - Christopher Ryan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-11-28. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #421 - Christopher Ryan

hello freaks let me do these people that are hearing this right now there they
go that's it
people are waiting they're like what the fuck dude it's late exactly that's how
it goes folks
we don't we don't guarantee you we're gonna start at a certain time just relax
leave it on the
background we're trying to get you to take it less seriously this episode of
the jogging experience
podcast is brought to you by carbonite.com thanksgiving's almost here it's the
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not only that they never find those things wink wink wink winkety wink wink
those fucks
not all of them but you know you are we're also brought to you by ting.com rogan.ting.com
specifically ting is a cell phone service that uses a sprint backbone but they
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they first of all they have no contracts or early termination fees if you don't
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love that a company
says look people don't mind paying for stuff i think everybody's established
that capitalism you
know in its core idea not as far as like the way our economic system is set up
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of i give you money for something i work i get money like these ideas are
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to fuck you basically that's what they're doing and when a company like ting
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popping it's a very um it's a very big sale for onnit every year and they go
they go crazy with it
there's a lot of serious money to be saved uh for instance i think uh here let
me let me give you the
people are already hinting like like lined up for black friday at best buy yeah
black friday is weird
it's a very weird thing i'm not sure i agree with it as far as like i
definitely don't agree with like
getting in line and waiting in stores because i feel like what is your time
worth isn't it worth
something it's one thing if you're ordering online but if you're waiting and
then you're there with a
bunch of other assholes who are there because it's an event and it becomes a
game yeah and it's not
much cheaper like if you go to best buy you're going to save an extra thirty
dollars than what it would
be at amazon and then you know half these companies online you'll have to pay
tax which so that thirty
dollars you could have just you know saved with no tax yeah and meanwhile you're
gonna have to use that
money to get your teeth fixed because someone's gonna fucking elbow you in the
face while you reach
for that laptop that they want people are crazy but on amazon.com um you know i
i love ordering shit
online because uh you you don't have to do it's like i do like half of my
shopping is on amazon.com
like it's it's so easy to order shit online but the idea of like going to best
buy i don't want to do
that unless something's wrong you know i don't want to go to a place i don't
want to go to fries
unless something's really wrong i need some shit right now because otherwise
like fuck going that's
one of the things i love about stamps.com and the those kind of services like i
don't want to go
anywhere i don't have to go to your place why can't we work this out why do
this at home anyway on it
we're offering 25 off of all supplements 55 off excuse me 15 off foods and 10
off fitness and packages
plus an additional 5 of orders over 150 bucks and 10 of off of orders over 250
bucks so for big orders
it's like 35 off supplements and 20 off fitness equipment it's it's pretty
powerful it's a serious
deal and on it if you haven't been there for a while we have a lot of new shit
we try to carry
new things every month that we find that we think are interesting we just
started carrying defense soap
um yeah i need to get that so i've been i gotta bring you in something remind
remind me on friday
and i'll bring it in it's or i'll bring it tonight you can wash your mouth out
with soap after you tell
your dirty jokes at the ice house uh defense soap is is an amazing soap that
works it keeps bacteria
off of your body bad bacteria but it keeps healthy flora on your skin it's all
natural ingredients
like tea tree oil and eucalyptus oil it smells good it's completely organic it
doesn't smell like
you know like i had um um i was at a um this deer hunting thing this weekend
and they had like
regular soap i washed myself with regular soap once and then i luckily brought
defense soap with me
because some people they have like stinky deodorant soap so you're you're you're
basically
washing yourself with a fucking a ball of like it's it's it's cologne yeah i
mean it's fucking
cologne you can call it you can call it deodorant soap all you want that shit's
cologne you're
covering yourself with some shit that doesn't smell like you i know i have axe
body wash and i have
like a one that right now i bought but i'm not going to throw it away but it
smells like i'm persian
when i wear it for the first hour i just i smell like i have like really shitty
like polo cologne on
when i when i go out yeah that shit's whack i refuse that stuff just for their
goddamn commercials
like why why you treat me like i'm that stupid i know there's people that are
that stupid out
there but reach higher you bitches actually they probably know their target
market because those
are the only people dumb enough excuse me brian pardon me to order that shit i
just haven't had
like i switched to body wash lately like with like the little woofa or poofa or
poofa well actually
defense soap sells body wash too did it really yeah i don't think we have it on
ony.com yet but if
you go to um defense soap.com i know they have it because he sent me some
before yeah it's great
stuff and it's healthy there's like a lot of uh it all came out of wrestling
because in wrestling a lot
of people get bacterial infections they get staph infections from their skin
getting scratched on the
mats and then dirty mats and and also um ringworm ringworm is pretty common and
a lot of times people
wash with antibacterial soap and that's the wrong approach when you're doing
that what you're doing
is you're killing everything man the good stuff too it's like when you take
antibiotics we have a real
problem with over prescribing antibiotics antibiotics are very useful don't get
me wrong i mean if you've
got a staph infection or if you've got fucking lyme disease or something like
that antibiotics could
save your life for sure they're there it's an amazing invention of fantastic
human minds but the
reality is there's other ways to approach it and the holistic way to approach
is to keep your skin
healthy and clean and keep the healthy bacteria that actually fight off bad
bacteria keep that shit
active that's why i've always preached the the benefits of probiotics i drink
kombucha tea every day
and it's it's it's it's i like the taste but there's these floating pieces of
fungus in it that feel
like an elephant just jerked off in your soda goobers it's like a soda-y a beer-y
soda-y thing i
remember marron you know marron who's uh mark marron is uh clean and sober and
uh he had a kombucha and
he's like uh he tweeted on twitter hey um am i drinking fucking beer like what's
going on here is this
before the uh they started taking them out of whole foods esther got drunk
remember she she doesn't
she doesn't she doesn't drink she had two of them and she was like like slurring
words and everything
there's less than one percent alcohol she said she was yeah yeah i don't buy
that it's if it's more
than one half of one percent now they have to market and it has to be sold as
alcohol because uh they
were using bottles apparently that allowed them to continue fermenting so if
they had been on the
shelves for a couple months they got stronger and stronger and stronger as time
went on fantastic for your
health though amazing for your immune system it's really some special stuff
have you heard about
fecal transplants yes yeah isn't that crazy poop in my butt yeah they take poop
and they put it in
your butt because or in your colon like if you're you're lacking certain
bacterial um uh you know
things that are supposed to live in your gut gut bacteria like e coli actually
intestinal flora
yeah intestinal flora is the nice way of saying it but save people save people
like from serious
diseases from shit that was sorry shit shit stuff that uh was uh completely uncurable
in any other
way is like you're fucked unless you squirt this shit up your ass i don't know
how they do it
eat it or something no what they do eat it are they take a little psych it
doesn't help anything i just
wanted to film this no it's really it's really simple they just take some from
someone who's got
the the flora that they want a little bit put it in the blender or you know in
some hospital thing
mix it up and squirt that right up you've heard you've heard of the the vice
documentary about poop
wine the chinese or i think do it where they make wine out of a kid's poop that's
like seven years
old or something like that i have heard that and i've also seen where they boil
eggs and pee young
boys yeah virgin virgin boys yeah they prefer like boys under the age of 11 or
something like that
whoa yeah i saw a thing the other day i don't know if i